Class Of March 2014 Part 6
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Originally Posted by FacingFuture 
Good Morning Marchers!!!
Congrats Aarry on 4 weeks!
Edit: I saw it in the 24 hours thread. Maybe I'm a day early?
Congrats Aarry on 4 weeks!
Edit: I saw it in the 24 hours thread. Maybe I'm a day early?
So thank you!
I shall change my post.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,107
Originally Posted by Ilya
"So by trying to give up I've made things worse by repeatedly lapsing and having all the emotional turmoil that goes with it."
Kopfan, once again, yes!
I also tried to do what everyone does, and had to go through the harrowing days 3 and 4 every damn week. Then as soon as I shed my zombie skin I'd dive in again!
Total vicious cycle
Kopfan, once again, yes!
I also tried to do what everyone does, and had to go through the harrowing days 3 and 4 every damn week. Then as soon as I shed my zombie skin I'd dive in again!
Total vicious cycle
Thank you for this
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by Aarryckha
You know, I guess it actually is 4 weeks. I haven't drank any poison since the end of February. I guess I really don't know how to count! <laughs>
So thank you!
I shall change my post.
So thank you!
I shall change my post.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Wow, so many insightful people here!
I love the analogy of a train, Bimi. I will keep that one in my file cabinet.
Regarding relationships. I was a heavy drinker for about 3ish years. My ex gave me an ultimatum more than once. He moved out once. He was as supportive as I could asked. Bottom line, I wasn't ready to quit for me so all attempts I made to quit failed. I then became better about hiding my drinking. Then the blackouts started. I blamed my erratic behavior on the medications I was taking. I flat out lied to his face over and over again. I really don't blame him for leaving. It was probably the best thing for the both of us. We had tried counseling but, I think, once so much damage and mistrust is there, it's hard to go back to the way it was. Honestly, I wish him the best. I went on a downward spiral after that and hit the bottom. I woke up one morning and decided I didn't want that life anymore. I don't know if I could have gotten here if he was still here.
I actually had a strong urge this morning. Popped out of nowhere at 530AM. Seriously? It only lasted about 5 minutes. Someone started a thread about "The Title of Your Tape." It's a good read. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...your-tape.html Anyways, I used this this morning. I saw myself pour the first drink and start sipping it. I drank it down, poured a second one. I don't remember finishing it. My next thought jumps to waking up on the couch in a panic. I slowly started to remember drinking earlier and I pick up my phone to see who I drunk dialed, sent drunk texts to, and please tell me I didn't post anything online! I thought about that disaster and that urge passed quickly.
Anyhow, I've got to get my stuff together so I can get out of the house. I shall talk with you all later!
I love the analogy of a train, Bimi. I will keep that one in my file cabinet.
Regarding relationships. I was a heavy drinker for about 3ish years. My ex gave me an ultimatum more than once. He moved out once. He was as supportive as I could asked. Bottom line, I wasn't ready to quit for me so all attempts I made to quit failed. I then became better about hiding my drinking. Then the blackouts started. I blamed my erratic behavior on the medications I was taking. I flat out lied to his face over and over again. I really don't blame him for leaving. It was probably the best thing for the both of us. We had tried counseling but, I think, once so much damage and mistrust is there, it's hard to go back to the way it was. Honestly, I wish him the best. I went on a downward spiral after that and hit the bottom. I woke up one morning and decided I didn't want that life anymore. I don't know if I could have gotten here if he was still here.
I actually had a strong urge this morning. Popped out of nowhere at 530AM. Seriously? It only lasted about 5 minutes. Someone started a thread about "The Title of Your Tape." It's a good read. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...your-tape.html Anyways, I used this this morning. I saw myself pour the first drink and start sipping it. I drank it down, poured a second one. I don't remember finishing it. My next thought jumps to waking up on the couch in a panic. I slowly started to remember drinking earlier and I pick up my phone to see who I drunk dialed, sent drunk texts to, and please tell me I didn't post anything online! I thought about that disaster and that urge passed quickly.
Anyhow, I've got to get my stuff together so I can get out of the house. I shall talk with you all later!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by Aarryckha
Wow, so many insightful people here!
I love the analogy of a train, Bimi. I will keep that one in my file cabinet.
Regarding relationships. I was a heavy drinker for about 3ish years. My ex gave me an ultimatum more than once. He moved out once. He was as supportive as I could asked. Bottom line, I wasn't ready to quit for me so all attempts I made to quit failed. I then became better about hiding my drinking. Then the blackouts started. I blamed my erratic behavior on the medications I was taking. I flat out lied to his face over and over again. I really don't blame him for leaving. It was probably the best thing for the both of us. We had tried counseling but, I think, once so much damage and mistrust is there, it's hard to go back to the way it was. Honestly, I wish him the best. I went on a downward spiral after that and hit the bottom. I woke up one morning and decided I didn't want that life anymore. I don't know if I could have gotten here if he was still here.
I actually had a strong urge this morning. Popped out of nowhere at 530AM. Seriously? It only lasted about 5 minutes. Someone started a thread about "The Title of Your Tape." It's a good read. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...your-tape.html Anyways, I used this this morning. I saw myself pour the first drink and start sipping it. I drank it down, poured a second one. I don't remember finishing it. My next thought jumps to waking up on the couch in a panic. I slowly started to remember drinking earlier and I pick up my phone to see who I drunk dialed, sent drunk texts to, and please tell me I didn't post anything online! I thought about that disaster and that urge passed quickly.
Anyhow, I've got to get my stuff together so I can get out of the house. I shall talk with you all later!
I love the analogy of a train, Bimi. I will keep that one in my file cabinet.
Regarding relationships. I was a heavy drinker for about 3ish years. My ex gave me an ultimatum more than once. He moved out once. He was as supportive as I could asked. Bottom line, I wasn't ready to quit for me so all attempts I made to quit failed. I then became better about hiding my drinking. Then the blackouts started. I blamed my erratic behavior on the medications I was taking. I flat out lied to his face over and over again. I really don't blame him for leaving. It was probably the best thing for the both of us. We had tried counseling but, I think, once so much damage and mistrust is there, it's hard to go back to the way it was. Honestly, I wish him the best. I went on a downward spiral after that and hit the bottom. I woke up one morning and decided I didn't want that life anymore. I don't know if I could have gotten here if he was still here.
I actually had a strong urge this morning. Popped out of nowhere at 530AM. Seriously? It only lasted about 5 minutes. Someone started a thread about "The Title of Your Tape." It's a good read. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...your-tape.html Anyways, I used this this morning. I saw myself pour the first drink and start sipping it. I drank it down, poured a second one. I don't remember finishing it. My next thought jumps to waking up on the couch in a panic. I slowly started to remember drinking earlier and I pick up my phone to see who I drunk dialed, sent drunk texts to, and please tell me I didn't post anything online! I thought about that disaster and that urge passed quickly.
Anyhow, I've got to get my stuff together so I can get out of the house. I shall talk with you all later!
I pray you got out of the AA meeting what you needed to get out of it.
Keep up the amazing work Aarry !!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Atlantic Beach, NY
Posts: 246
One of my fellow co-workers just came into my office with a glass of vodka for a "TGIF" drink. I pushed it away and told him no thank you. He looked at me with such shock. So I said "I am on antibiotics for an ear ache".
Sigh... I hate the lying. But I just don't know what to say right now to people who are so used to me drinking.
Sigh... I hate the lying. But I just don't know what to say right now to people who are so used to me drinking.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 625
Kimsfriend, that's ok! Good job!! I think white lies to coworkers and friends and acquaintances are totally fine right now, if it keeps you safe and also without anxiety -- a killer amongst other people drinking. You are strong
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Atlantic Beach, NY
Posts: 246
Originally Posted by Ilya
Kimsfriend, that's ok! Good job!! I think white lies to coworkers and friends and acquaintances are totally fine right now, if it keeps you safe and also without anxiety -- a killer amongst other people drinking. You are strong
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by KimsFriend
Thank you Ilya - it was so hard- I could smell the vodka. I couldn't wait for him to leave my office so that I could come here and read some posts and get that smell away from me!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Leicester
Posts: 67
Thanks people for all of these wise and wonderful posts today.
I'm walking back home from my conference. Felt uneasy about the pressure I was putting myself under about going to the leaving do where lots of my good friends will be celebrating and drinking and simply didn't feel strong enough in myself.
Called one of the guys who's leaving to apologise. He understood.
What is it about Friday evenings? I'm having to be really resolute - over half a lifetime of looking forward to that weekend drink. I guess it'll take a while to re-programme my head..
I'm walking back home from my conference. Felt uneasy about the pressure I was putting myself under about going to the leaving do where lots of my good friends will be celebrating and drinking and simply didn't feel strong enough in myself.
Called one of the guys who's leaving to apologise. He understood.
What is it about Friday evenings? I'm having to be really resolute - over half a lifetime of looking forward to that weekend drink. I guess it'll take a while to re-programme my head..
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: London, United Kingdom
Posts: 273
Hi fellow Marchees,
So I've not been able to join in much as both my kids went down with temps and raging sore throats. Germ warfare. Getting better now and I'm playing catch-up on what's been going on.
Today is day 21 for me - third week sober. I am having really strong cravings right now. REALLY strong. Not helped at ALL by the fact my OH has just brought a really great bottle of wine into the house, even though he said he wouldn't.
He has joined me in not drinking until now. But the worst thing about this is the fact that he has just tried to justify bringing alcohol into the house by telling me I'm making a big deal about not drinking as, in his opinion, I don't have a "real" problem.
Aargghhh!
I am literally hiding in my room right now. Glued to SR and drinking tea. This is tough..
So I've not been able to join in much as both my kids went down with temps and raging sore throats. Germ warfare. Getting better now and I'm playing catch-up on what's been going on.
Today is day 21 for me - third week sober. I am having really strong cravings right now. REALLY strong. Not helped at ALL by the fact my OH has just brought a really great bottle of wine into the house, even though he said he wouldn't.
He has joined me in not drinking until now. But the worst thing about this is the fact that he has just tried to justify bringing alcohol into the house by telling me I'm making a big deal about not drinking as, in his opinion, I don't have a "real" problem.
Aargghhh!
I am literally hiding in my room right now. Glued to SR and drinking tea. This is tough..
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