MrFixit63

I have always said that my biggest trigger is breathing...

Sparkos

Morning Mich and Mr F and all the others who will be arriving later. They say that they're from the States or Strayliya, but I suspect they could be lazy buggers who stay in bed all day. Who knows

Mr F agree totally with your last sentiments, but look very carefully at what you wrote, "It is not easy it is actually a lifestyle change that has physical and mental attachments too it. Just don't pick up is how I have to beat this problem" .

It might sound pedantic of me (and I do accept that I am an awful pedant), but be very careful of the language that you may be talking to yourself. (I think it's called Neuro Linguistic Programming).
This is yet another sneaky AV trick into telling yourself subtely that you've "beat this problem". We've none of us beat this problem, (and certainly not so soon) I think it's about being vigilant and aware of the triggers and trying to be in control as much as possible for now.

Just re-read this and it sounds as if I'm pontificating. I really hope it doesn't come accross this way. I'm putting it in writing to help me with my reasoning as much as anything else.

KimsFriend

Checking in. Morning of Day 6. The physical withdrawals seem better. My headache has subsided and my body doesn't ache as much.

My husband and I finally talked about last weekend. Well... More like screamed. He walked out. Not for good, but he made it clear that he is considering it. He is so angry. So fed up with my empty promises.

I am committed to sobriety. For today. For the next 24 hours. For the next hour. For the next minute.

Taproot

Day Eight, feeling great! Well, maybe not "great," but that rhyme was too easy not to use. Anyway, good morning, and here's hoping we all have a good day, whatever a good day means to each of us. Me, I am hoping to stay sober. Dinner with parents and brother later tonight, looking forward to an enjoyable and sober evening...luckily for me those three don't drink at all, so there shouldn't be too much temptation.

MrFixit63

Day 10

KimsFriend

This is me: 100%!!!

Boobeary

Parnell, thanks for the belly laugh in suggesting my husband make dinner. If you knew him, you'd realize how funny that is. Your other suggestion, though, is fabulous! I really think that will be a big help. THANK YOU!

Clarity713

When I quit smoking cigarettes about 5 years ago I always said that "fun was a trigger". It kind of was. Ironically, drinking was a trigger for smoking. I have so many triggers for drinking and probably some that I don't know about. It is so easy to pick up. Today is day 18 for me but I went 11 months before so I haven't really impressed myself this time around. I'm just trying to keep it together today.

I was watching house of cards last night on Netflix with my wife. (I'm only on episode 4 of season 1 so no spoilers please). Anyway, a character on there (Rep. Russo) has a big drinking problem, and his behavior on the show reminded me of myself. (Minus hookers and coke of course). But he will drink without having any consequences in mind. I'm so glad I am not like that anymore.

MrFixit63

Clarity great job on day 18 I am on day 10 after mostly 6 months sober
And I still have no idea why I ever wanted to drink or still think about it now if I have all the hookers and coke that would be a different story lol.
No spoiler alert on house of cards however a good childhood friend of mine is a regular on that show .


I can tell myself all week that I have no desire to have a drink at all but as soon as I get home I am like what the hell I can start next week. We will all beat this one day if we keep trying

Jade1224

You are right it comes out of nowhere! Especially when I feel great.

Day 4. :: I would love nothing more than to go back to bed. But I am stoked on 4 days. So tired of day 1 through 3... it always happens. But day 4 hardly ever happens!

6am here on west coast. Going to AA meeting with said coworker that I randomly saw at my first meeting. Still not completely comfortable letting my guard down but having him know my issue might hold me more accountable. I do work with him after all. I will think twice about having a glass of wine after work if he's there.

Kim it sounds like the worst of it is over. It gets better each day, congrats on day 6

Off to AA, then to yoga, boot camp, first job, then second job.

Geez my day will never end.

Have a good day peeps!

MrFixit63

Be safe happy and sober Jade

KimsFriend

Thanks Jade. I am hoping it does get better each day.
This morning my husband have me an ultimatum of it's either our family or the booze. My chances with him have run out if I don't change.

biminiblue

One minute at a time. The worst experience I ever had was divorce. At that time, I literally wanted to die. Even thought about ways to do it, but something stopped me. That was when I came up with one minute at a time.

I had one day last week when I wanted a drink. Someone had gotten under my skin. I had to sit with that desire for a while. Finally I ended up calling a person from AA to talk me off the ledge. It was all in my head, but I couldn't shake it, I was all spun out about what someone had said. I did shake it, it did pass. I didn't have that first drink.

Someone told me this: If you walk on the railroad track, and a train comes, it's the engine that is going to kill you. Not the second car or the twelfth car, or the caboose. It's the engine.

That's the first drink.


I'm going to my 7AM meeting. Love and prayers for you all.

biminiblue

Kim, that was fate that I posted that right after you told us about your husband's ultimatum.

He is dead serious.

Divorce is horrible. Drinking is not worth it.


The choice is yours. We love you and hope you stay with us.

Ilya

Good morning!

Yesterday I slept in quite late. Stayed home to clean up the last of the problem. Picked up my laundry, and put the house back together. We've taken every precaution possible and been as thorough as possible.

Rage Files: After cleaning up, I decided to go for a run. I went downstairs to get my bike, because I like to ride to the track, and my neighbor -- who had just had his apartment treated by the exterminator -- had piled all of his bags of stuff on top of my bike, AND some light bulbs. Yes, just some loose, exposed light bulbs just thrown on top of the bags of his clothes from his pre-fumigation apartment, just completely covering my bike.

I tried to move the things but the light bulbs fell and broke everywhere. My neighbor heard me, and peeped his head out the door.

I didn't feel I needed to explain what was going on because there I was, in my running clothes, holding a dustpan, and pretty much looking ticked off. I walked away for a minute and came back and all of the bags were gone.

I get so outraged at the lack of consideration other people give to the simplest scenarios.... I am just glad I went for a run directly after that. To blow off some steam.

Anyway, Marchers, here I am finally with a day to myself, to catch up on things. This day is badly needed.

Unfortunately I have a ringing headache.

Jade1224

<3

KimsFriend

You are right. I have also been divorced before and drinking/lifestyle had so much to so with it.

And this time around I have a beautiful 2 year old boy. It would kill me to lose him.

I feel like such an empty shell. I don't know who I am anymore.

But I won't drink. Not today.

MrFixit63

I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.*



Well sweetheart I am an alcoholic so this is my bad times and I am sick this is when I need you to stick with me.

biminiblue

I do not blame anyone for leaving an alcoholic. It's the healthiest thing to do for the non-alcoholic.

I actually asked for the divorce. We were both drinking way too much, but there were other more serious problems and they weren't being addressed. I shot off plenty of warning flares.

I don't feel bad at all for asking for the divorce. It was just a lot like water torture. Just. wouldn't. end.

parnellatwood

Hi guys.

I drank last night. At 2 am. When my boyfriend got home from friends with a 6-pack of Newcastle Brown Ale he'd bought for the gathering that didn't get drank. He himself is a teetotaler by nature so he was bringing home so I could have it. He went straight to sleep. I drank 5 Newcastles.

I was on here all evening. I was so happy not to have gone to that bar. And then I do that, just because the beer is THERE? Of course it took about half an hour of spinning thoughts for me to get one of them; I didn't even admit to myself my head was doing this, really, but it was. And it was just going to be one. But then it was five. I poured the sixth out this morning.

I can't make good decisions. What is wrong with me? I guess I'm gonna go to another aa meeting tonight, and actually talk to someone. Day one again today. But hey, at least I'm still a Marcher.