Dee74

I'm really pleased to see you making good choices Dan.
It's not easy in that environment.

D

TigerLili

That's a good decision, zero!

Beanie25

Nice work Dan.

TigerLili

Checking in at 81 days.

Where is everyone? Hope everyone is ok.

Vet69

I'm okay except for the endless winter. Possible snow coming through the Northern Virginia/Washing, D.C. area again next week. It's not good to be stuck inside. I need light. Tough week ahead but I am up for it. Hope everyone is ok.

Muhv

Hi all! I am here too, reading a lot.
I'm doing ok, will be 5 weeks tomorrow. But I had to end my fitness regime The streets are very slippery and last weekend I stepped on ice and fell on my damn knee. Went to ER, nothing broken, but I am walking with a crutch. I asked the doctor when I can continue with my workouts, nothing for at least 3 weeks.

jackrussell

Spring starts today around 1:00 p.m., Vet. I think the snow and cold are just going to have to suck it up and move on, poor things. Hang in there.
Sorry about the knee, Muhv. Lots of work for the orthopedic surgeons these days of icy streets. Spring will handle that ice in no time.
On the Spring front, today is day # 31 for me. It's been a fast but wonderful month of sobriety. I don't now why it's working for me now after so many past failures, but I'll take it and celebrate it. Had a touch of flu the other day, had my head under a sink doing some plumbing, felt dizzy when I emerged and a practiced little voice observed that I was a bit too hungover to be doing that work that morning. Then: another little voice observed: No. No hangover. You haven't had anything to drink for almost a month! The phantom hangover strikes again! Happy Spring, all.

121313

I love the attitude, it actually mirrors mine. I am moving up on day 100 myself...3 more days and I'm there. I find that if I just don't dwell on the thought of having a drink then I'm good. If I happen to drift off into considering a drink, it doesn't take long to rummage up an old undesirable memory that reminds me ever so vividly of why I chose to live the rest of my life sober.

Congrats on your 100 and best wishes for your continued success!

zerothehero

Everybody's different. My wife just quit drinking, did no "recovery work," and she's sober seven years. I, on the other hand, have read a number of books about addiction and recovery in recent months, and have really felt a need to develop new behaviors to avoid relapse. I'm leaving tonight for a retreat (no internet), so have a great week, all! I'm sensing this will be a pivotal experience for me. I, too, wish to stop "dwelling" on being an addict, and just apply my new knowledge and skills to a new life. I wish you all well. Ciao!

Muhv

Zero, I quit smoking 10 years ago, just like that! I had no cravings, nothing at all. I still wonder about it, why it was so easy to quit, because I think I smoked quite a lot.

I quit drinking the same way, you know, on a second, when I was 18 (I was not a drinker, just had a few parties, but I didn't like the way it was going), so I didn't drink for many many years!
I have only a few wine years in my baggage, but now it is a challenge for me to dismiss it. I feel some anger about myself, I don't understand why it is so hard to get the thought out of my head.

Dee, you have been sober for many years... tell me, does it get easier? Right now I am thinking about drinking and people who drink every day. Will I think about it so often in a year? In a few years, will it still be a challenge for me? Just wondering..

Dee74

It definitely gets easier Muhv...

if it stayed like it was in those first few months I dunno that many people would stay sober.

I started noticing a change around 3 months or so?

D

TigerLili

Sorry about your knee muhv! Hope you are feeling ok.

Checking in at 84 days.

TigerLili

Zero - AA makes a point of difference between a heavy drinker and an alcoholic. A heavy drinker can stop if they have good enough reason to. An alcoholic can't. Maybe your wife falls in the heavy drinker category.

TigerLili

I'm with you, 121313. I have the odd thought of a drink cross my mind but i don't engage with it. I was at a work function yesterday and looked longingly at the wine for a few moments and made a conscious decision to have a coke instead. I didn't think about the booze again and when I left I was glad that I had only been drinking coke.

Dan Dare

So the fact that all of us in this thread have stopped drinking since December last makes us heavy drinkers and not alcoholics?

Dee74

Regardless of what others might call me, or what I might call myself, I know I was killing myself.

I also know my life is immeasurably better now without drinking in it.

That's the bottom line, and that's what I suggest we all focus on

D

TigerLili

NO, that's not what I meant Dan.

Addiction/alcoholism is different to being a heavy user of something. If you haven't crossed over into addiction or dependence, it's easier to stop and stay stopped.

I don't think former heavy drinkers have the same relationship to alcohol, or the same brain chemistry, as alcoholics.

A heavy drinker can have something that happens that shocks them into stopping drinking. THat generally doesn't happen for alcoholics. We just keep going until we die or we are forced into a corner.

I was really just commenting that everyone's experience is different and there might be many reasons why it was easier for you wife to stop drinking than you. Not everyone who drinks too much is an alcoholic, either self-identified or measured by some external criteria.

TigerLili

I know women who were heavy drinkers who stopped when they got pregnant. I know women who were unable to stop without help when they got pregnant. That's the kind of difference I see between heavy drinkers and alcoholics. Society at large doesn't understand addiction and can't understand why we can't 'just stop', which any sensible person would do if given a good enough reason.

TigerLili

I've been told by people at AA that I'm not a real alcoholic, or that I wasn't that bad. You never really know what's going on for people. I wanted to kill myself but apparently I looked like I had it together. My intense fear of drinking again is part of what is stopping me from drinking. If I was just a heavy drinker, I doubt I would need to go to AA, or that I would persist with it in the face of comments like that.

Dan Dare

Thanks, TL.
I guess the real definition lies in the person.
I wanted to stop longer than the usual week here or there this past December. I chose the hardest part of the year, too.
Didn't know how long it would last, really.
Three months and just under 1 week later, here I am. It's been a good ride.

Tomorrow I may not be a part of this club anymore, but I know I will always return to SR.