courage2

I'm glad you had a good doctor's visit, Gonzo. Some day I hope to hear your story, but it's your call when, if ever. (( ))

TTBABP, I hope you're doing ok. Every day, just try to do a little better. Baby steps are sometimes a lot to be proud of.

G'nite, all.

ReadyAtLast

Glad to hear you're moving forward courage. Maybe pick up writing again. see how it goes.Even journalling can be therapeutic many say. I'm glad you went to your meeting and hope it is helping you.

Junior RAL is well settled up here now thank you for asking. He loves it and is getting bigger.He's 5 this year and starts proper school in August too. He's getting a bit cheeky though hopefully just a phase!

I'm so NOT looking forward to today and will be glad when it's over. Lots of very awkward individual things to do plus not much time to do them in. I hate rushing and also hate being late as think it's really ill mannered and I don't like letting people down. Just the thought that I MIGHT be late stresses me out and makes my heart race Usually I leave myself plenty of time to be early but when I have earlier appointments I can't do this. Plus the road out of the village is still shut from flood damage and the re-route is dangerous and takes ages. I have to go into town twice today which sounds nothing to all you who live in cities and towns but at 50 mile round trip each time on crazy mud covered roads in the dark it aint no fun

And breathe..........................

courage2

RAL, stay calm, and I hope your day turns out a little smoother than you fear. Those roads don't sound like fun!

TTBABP

RAL - sounds like a stressful day. Stay calm and just do what you can - if it needs to be done whatever it is it will wait for you!

I'm doing OK courage - thanks. Hope you are OK too. I'm not really in any "danger" at the moment. Not the weekend, no parties coming up. Those are always the true test.

Tamerua

Howdy all

Gonzo, I'm really glad you're doing better, you sound completely different, that's great.

TT, I'm so glad you're back. I've missed you.

Courage, I hope you're doing alright. I almost never speak at my AA meetings... it's really selfish.... LOL I listen and get what I need out of it. I hope the psychotherapist helps. We used to see a psychologist for my son (and we're going to be starting up again) and man... what a help.

Taz, I'm sorry for the bad news.

Hiya, Dee and RAL!

I have been working, the release went in and it had its issues, which is normal. A project was pulled that we're trying to get in within two weeks so we're working to get that going. I restructured my team at work so that we wouldn't burn all 6 out at once and I was just saying to them that I'm beat and I hadn't seen my son in weeks (I wake up, work, go to bed, rinse and repeat). I got a call from the school today that he stole a bike and it's a felony because the parents claim that it cost more than $400 and they will press charges. (I can't even believe that I'm typing this... before I would have grounded and then opened the wine and never said a word to anyone out of shame). He took it because he was tired of walking to school and was tired because his bike was stolen and I didn't get him a new one because he didn't lock it up. There's a lot more to that story, but I don't want to bore anyone...

Long story short, we were able to get the bike back to the school, they won't press charges, the school cop was really snotty to me and my son is suspended for a week. Sigh.

I need to set more boundaries at work. Out on time. It's affecting my family. And quite honestly, I don't make enough to pull the hours that I pull, which I've said before but I guess that if I put up with it, it's no one's fault but my own.

On the boss front, the other folks who report to him feel the same and we're trying to come up with a plan on how to fix it. I don't know what that will look like but I'm glad to know that it's not just me.

My friend from work just told me that she was diagnosed with bladder cancer too. So it's been a tough day. Think I'm going to call my sponsor and then veg out.

Everyone have a good evening.

courage2

Wow, Tam. You have a lot going on. I think you'll do right insisting on better conditions at work especially on getting out on time, to be there more for your son. The good thing is that if you can help your son now, even a little, it will make a big difference for him when he's grown. What do you want him to remember about his mother from this period of his life that is so challenging?

Today I met with the social worker who I got connected to through my sponsor. He's an alcoholic with 13 years sober. I described myself a bit and he asked a bunch of questions, and then we talked about my options. He recommended that I see a psychiatrist "sooner rather than later" in his words. He said if I send him a list of the psychiatrists who take my insurance, he'll try to recommend someone. So that's the next step. This is all surreal -- I feel like I've been hijacked by an alien who doesn't know how to steer.

Dee74

sounds like a lot of the Decemberists have stuff going on - you all all on my mind and in my prayers, guys

D

TTBABP

Thanks Tam. Sorry it seems you have so much on your plate. Good for you staying the course. Sounds like although stressed you have a great handle on things. Be well all. Good night.

courage2

Hi all, just checking in.

I'm a lot better now that my husband's home -- eating more, sleeping more, and of course, not drinking. We went to a museum last night and I managed not to railroad the evening into talking about woe is me. We found out on Monday that his father died, and though they were completely estranged, there are people and affairs to be dealt with that are painful for him. We both just needed to walk around and look at statues and paintings for an hour or two.

I haven't figured out how to proceed with seeing a dr, not exactly -- in NYC at least, many psychiatrists don't take insurance at all. And I can't afford to pay out of pocket for the people who've been recommended to me. But I'll figure something out. I'm thinking of switching general drs and starting with a good physical. My regular dr is a nice guy, but a medical minimalist.

I hope everyone is well, sober, and finding value in each day.

gonzo4419

Hello darlings, I'm actually pretty rock and roll for the first time in a long while. Talk soon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab9176Srb5Y

ReadyAtLast

Morning everyone
Sorry to hear you have so much going on Tam .I hope the week improved for you . How is your son doing? I' m glad you're doing something about work and your unreasonable boss.

courage-how are things? I know it's hard but you are so doing the best thing for you be seeking additional support and resources.

gonzo-glad you're feeling better, you sound more upbeat

Hope Alice Marria, tazzle,TTBABP (great to see you back) and Dee are all ok

Not much to report ,just plodding along with life

ReadyAtLast

Dilemma-what would you do?

I have a brother who was married to a woman until their divorce a couple of years ago. About 8 years ago she made up some lies about me and my brother didn't speak to me for many years. My brother and I are friends again and I'm glad he's divorced from the nasty, evil woman. I can't stand her and luckily our paths never cross as I can't bear to be near her.

Anyway, their son is getting married and I've been invited.This was a surprise tbh as I've only seen him once or twice in the last ten years and never even met the bride. We are not close and don't exchange birthday or Christmas cards or have any contact. I 've nothing against him, don't get me wrong I just don't know him or have any involvement in his life.

Honestly, I don't want to go to the wedding. I can't bear to even see my brother's ex wife. I hardly know the couple. Plus I don't want to be in a drinking environment when I know things will probably kick off. His ex wife comes from a rough family and they're heavy drinkers so no doubt someone will start something

I'd made my decision not to go but now my brother is really upset I'm not going. I don't know why he's at all surprised. Plus it's 250 miles away,stayng in a hotel ,travel etc etc ,lot of money to spend too on a weekend where I hardly know the couple.

Why do I feel bad? I really don't want to go, My reasons are genuine-now I feel like I'm trying to convince myself. My brother knows Idon't drink anymore but makes a bit of a joke about it so if I say I'm not going as don't want to be in a drinking environment he'll just laugh at me.

Am I being unreasonable. The upshot is I really don't want to go and think my brother should respect my decision, Jeez the bride and groom won't even notice if I'm there or not

Dee74

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Apart from anything else 250 miles is a huge trip, physically and financially.

I used to feel really bad saying no to people too - but you get used to it really fast RAL...lol

D

Dee74

Continued best wishes Tam - and I'm glad Mr Courage is home, Courage
glad you're feeling better Gonzo

D

ReadyAtLast

Thanks Dee
I don't want anyone (on here)thinking I mean I don't want to go because I'm scared of drinking, I wouldn't drink-I just don't want to go.

Tamerua

Everything that you said about this is reasonable. You don't know them well, haven't seen them in years, it is a lot if money, etc. Your brother will get over it.

Hey courage, glad your husband is home. I have no advice on finding a psychotherapist to go to. They all accept insurance here but to be honest, we had to go through several psychiatrists and therapists to find the right people for our son. It's one of those things where you need them, but you also have to click with them.

Thanks for the well wishes everyone.

We have put the boy to home improvement projects, he helped finish knocking out the ceramic tile in my soon to be office and we were painting yesterday. He gets excited about it and proud of his work and then he will do things like sneak out to watch tv while we are asleep. I'm going to call his therapist and get him back in to talk. He has always had a problem with impulse control and it honestly scares the crap out of me.

My boss was unusually understanding and was ok with me working from home next week. I don't like to talk to him about my son because I usually get lectures on my parenting style and if he had children blah blah blah (I wish I were kidding). I didn't get any of that when I asked so I am waiting for the other shoe to drop....

Anyway.... Lol Zumba in a bit, finish painting my office and then meet with my sponsor who I haven't seen in 3 weeks. And I am soooooo thankful we have tomorrow off!

Everyone have a good day.

ReadyAtLast

Thanks Tam.Yes my brother will get over it. He's just sulking for now

I'mglad things are improving for you with your son and that your boss was more understanding of your family issues. Maybe someone has something to him about his approach.

courage2

Ready, deciding not to go seems completely reasonable. Maybe your brother has some other reason that he's not telling you about -- I suppose you could ask him why he seems upset. Maybe he's just stressed about the wedding and it's nothing to do with you. Anyway unless other information becomes available that really changes the picture, I see no reason to go. Just send a nice gift and warm wishes.

Tam, I'm glad that you're able to stay home to work and that your boss is being reasonable about it. I'm not minimizing your anxiety over your son, but look on the bright side -- what joy to have a cook and a builder at your beck & call!

Gonzo, love the video but I hope you're not growing your beard out & weirding out all night long anymore!

I'm ok. Went to a meeting & saw my sponsor yesterday. And I talked to my husband. Here's the conversation:
Tazzle, Napster, Alice, Marria, TTBABP, Dee -- hope everyone is well today.

TigerLili

ReadyAtLast - I am very cynical in these situaitons. Etiquette dictates that you send a gift if you can't attend a wedding. When I hear of someone who is not close being invited, I always assume it's because the invitee assumes there will be a gift coming from you whether you attend or not.

Having said that, I'd send a gift and regrets at not being able to attend due to distance.

TigerLili

Day 22 begins. Back to work today after two weeks vacation during which I was able to just focus on my recovery. I'm really scared and shaky going back to the real world, especially as my job is quite hectic and stressful. I am not sure I am up to it.