One Year & Under Club Part 22
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dudley,Uk
Posts: 1,704
Hey gang....Day 313 drawing to a close....I'm on a 16 hour night shift yet again and still no day/night off till Friday....Getting tired and I'm a bit upset with real life friends who say they will always be there for you but then just forget all about you....
Not feeling to positive at the moment so I'll leave it there...
Take care.....Steve.
Not feeling to positive at the moment so I'll leave it there...
Take care.....Steve.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: North. Where it snows.
Posts: 702
Stevie, I've had that experience too. Sometimes, it deals with people who are so busy and caught up with life, they disappear. For them, time flies but for us who sort of wait for a sign of life from them, every day is a day they ignored us. Is that a bit what you're living?
I would reach out if I were you Stevie, you might be surprised, someone might say: hey I was just thinking about you.
I would reach out if I were you Stevie, you might be surprised, someone might say: hey I was just thinking about you.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Y'all are amazing!
Dorothy, your support for all despite your own struggles ...
Stevie -- way way WAY too many hours working...
DG, getting clean from so many substances!
WWG's incredible gratitude...
The accomplishments despite challenges of EVERYONE in this class overwhelm me. I feel really fortunate to get to have you all and SR in my life.
Dorothy, your support for all despite your own struggles ...
Stevie -- way way WAY too many hours working...
DG, getting clean from so many substances!
WWG's incredible gratitude...
The accomplishments despite challenges of EVERYONE in this class overwhelm me. I feel really fortunate to get to have you all and SR in my life.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
DG great job!!!
Snoozy I also come home from work and just hang in my room watching some tv. I could def been fine not working and spending days at home alone. I have no desire to go out anymore.
Boring day, nothing exciting. Looking forward to the weekend since I'm already tired of work haha
Snoozy I also come home from work and just hang in my room watching some tv. I could def been fine not working and spending days at home alone. I have no desire to go out anymore.
Boring day, nothing exciting. Looking forward to the weekend since I'm already tired of work haha
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ontario
Posts: 66
Hi Undies - just popping in before bed.
Uneventful day today. Went to a meeting. It was a very good one tonight. Then came home and had some cuddling time with my roommates. Tomorrow is going to be a long day of studying for me - bleh.
Hope you all are well
Uneventful day today. Went to a meeting. It was a very good one tonight. Then came home and had some cuddling time with my roommates. Tomorrow is going to be a long day of studying for me - bleh.
Hope you all are well
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Hi guys, Steve, sorry mate, I possibly would be one of those friends, unless I actually knew you needed me. I know from being here that you tend to deal first, reach out after - not a criticism, I do much the same- the problem with that is when we expect friends to psychically know we need then rather than just say something. If on the other hand you have actually reached out to friends and they are not being there for you, that is very different and they are not being great friends. I know here we can't physically help you out, but we can listen, so vent all you need, please.
DG well done sweetheart, i am so proud of you and your determination. You are awesome!
Hey Dotty, yes I am ashamed to say my friendships are out of sight out of mind, except, strangely enough my SR friends! But perhaps that is because I interact here more. I have only a few close friends, distance separates me from two, and the other is there when I need her, and would reach out if she needed me. I am always amazed that people seem to like me and enjoy my company, I dread inflicting my company on someone who doesn't really want me around! I was always sought out by friends when they had troubles, but was not really 'popular'. I moved a lot too so didn't form long friendships. All that has affected my ability to know how to be a good day to day friend.
Hey Jaws, I agree sometimes we can spend too much time alone navel gazing; and I feel it is in our nature to be a little too hard on ourselves. As alcoholics we don't get to the stage of reaching out to SR and AA without having done things we are ashamed of, so one of our first sober emotions are guilt and self hatred. We need to find ways to forgive ourselves, to love ourselves, and to begin to see more of the positives in our natures rather than merely focus on the negatives.
WWG you are a perfect example of the above; initially all you saw were the negatives, both in your self and past actions, and in your alcohol free future. Now you are beginning to accept that you need to get beyond the past so that you are able to fully enjoy your sober 'now' which you are doing in spades! The change in you over recent weeks has been amazing.
BF, I understand that your problems in the past have been when family and friends have become one temptation too many. And I totally understand the desire to lock yourself away and rack up those sober days. But it is not living. It is coping. Perhaps you are waiting until you feel stronger, that is ok, but if you are not actively seeking ways of enjoying a sober life, you are leaving yourself vulnerable to falling again. I feel you need to be looking for sober fun, to meeting people for whom alcohol is not necessarily a part of a good outing. You are so young, too young to be shutting yourself away from life. The more happy sober memories you start generating, the stronger and happier you will be. Xx
Grace I hope you are not too soggy down there, I see it's heading my way!
Serene, good to see you pop in, I hope you are well
Tanja how did it go on Sunday?
Dayover, I'm so glad you reached out to your friend. We can't always help, and even when we do reach out, people don't always help themselves, but you did what you could, and you showed him someone cared at a time he is feeling too alone, so it was a good thing you did. It is hard having a drink problem at such a young age, but my goodness, you will have such a wonderful, sober life ahead of you! Think of it as your future at a branch just now, and the potential paths you can chose, neither is a one way street, but one path is definitely ever upwards!
Ctrl, how's your week going?
Drake, did things get sorted out with your errant condo? Has a payment plan been reached?
PippoRossi you and I are fortunate in our men, quiet support cannot be underestimated. Ever.
Snoozy, I also feel I have two very different sides, perhaps we all do. You can't hide away from life, you, like BF,are a vital part of it with too much to offer to keep from sharing.
Hey Carlos, how is your week going?
Mel, I know that you are busy with work and class, but I hope all is going ok with you? Drop in if you can x
Maddie ( madbird) how are you doing?
Skye, now you are all better, what are you up to this week?
To any unmentioned, but not forgotten, have and great sober week and let us know how you are doing.
Babs, a special word for you honey. Come back soon, there is nothing but love for you here. Xx
DG well done sweetheart, i am so proud of you and your determination. You are awesome!
Hey Dotty, yes I am ashamed to say my friendships are out of sight out of mind, except, strangely enough my SR friends! But perhaps that is because I interact here more. I have only a few close friends, distance separates me from two, and the other is there when I need her, and would reach out if she needed me. I am always amazed that people seem to like me and enjoy my company, I dread inflicting my company on someone who doesn't really want me around! I was always sought out by friends when they had troubles, but was not really 'popular'. I moved a lot too so didn't form long friendships. All that has affected my ability to know how to be a good day to day friend.
Hey Jaws, I agree sometimes we can spend too much time alone navel gazing; and I feel it is in our nature to be a little too hard on ourselves. As alcoholics we don't get to the stage of reaching out to SR and AA without having done things we are ashamed of, so one of our first sober emotions are guilt and self hatred. We need to find ways to forgive ourselves, to love ourselves, and to begin to see more of the positives in our natures rather than merely focus on the negatives.
WWG you are a perfect example of the above; initially all you saw were the negatives, both in your self and past actions, and in your alcohol free future. Now you are beginning to accept that you need to get beyond the past so that you are able to fully enjoy your sober 'now' which you are doing in spades! The change in you over recent weeks has been amazing.
BF, I understand that your problems in the past have been when family and friends have become one temptation too many. And I totally understand the desire to lock yourself away and rack up those sober days. But it is not living. It is coping. Perhaps you are waiting until you feel stronger, that is ok, but if you are not actively seeking ways of enjoying a sober life, you are leaving yourself vulnerable to falling again. I feel you need to be looking for sober fun, to meeting people for whom alcohol is not necessarily a part of a good outing. You are so young, too young to be shutting yourself away from life. The more happy sober memories you start generating, the stronger and happier you will be. Xx
Grace I hope you are not too soggy down there, I see it's heading my way!
Serene, good to see you pop in, I hope you are well
Tanja how did it go on Sunday?
Dayover, I'm so glad you reached out to your friend. We can't always help, and even when we do reach out, people don't always help themselves, but you did what you could, and you showed him someone cared at a time he is feeling too alone, so it was a good thing you did. It is hard having a drink problem at such a young age, but my goodness, you will have such a wonderful, sober life ahead of you! Think of it as your future at a branch just now, and the potential paths you can chose, neither is a one way street, but one path is definitely ever upwards!
Ctrl, how's your week going?
Drake, did things get sorted out with your errant condo? Has a payment plan been reached?
PippoRossi you and I are fortunate in our men, quiet support cannot be underestimated. Ever.
Snoozy, I also feel I have two very different sides, perhaps we all do. You can't hide away from life, you, like BF,are a vital part of it with too much to offer to keep from sharing.
Hey Carlos, how is your week going?
Mel, I know that you are busy with work and class, but I hope all is going ok with you? Drop in if you can x
Maddie ( madbird) how are you doing?
Skye, now you are all better, what are you up to this week?
To any unmentioned, but not forgotten, have and great sober week and let us know how you are doing.
Babs, a special word for you honey. Come back soon, there is nothing but love for you here. Xx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Snoozy, I also feel I have two very different sides, perhaps we all do. You can't hide away from life, you, like BF,are a vital part of it with too much to offer to keep from sharing.
Toots thank you sweetheart , that made me feel good .....bless xx
Toots thank you sweetheart , that made me feel good .....bless xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,181
Hi Undies,
Ahhh, that first sip of java. It is a bit extra special these past two days as I have eliminated coffee from my evening meetings. Thank goodness for that. I never drank coffee past mid afternoon but its omnipresence at AA meetings had me feeling like well it sure beats the alternative, so rock on, dude. I did, then started adding a sweet a month ago and ended up taking both to the max. Anyway, sweets are totally out and coffee is about 20ozs in the AM moving forward.
I had a productive meeting with my therapist yesterday. We agreed that I seem to be building a strong sober foundation and it might be healthy to introduce a return to work in a gradual way. I had a small pitch on Monday and it got my competitive juices flowing.
I had not planned to return in any serious way till next year. However, I think I have a handle on my two biggest issues. Travel is a big one...did most of my serious drinking while away from home base. I will not leave without an AA meeting plan in my calendar, which will be more important than the actual business meetings.
The second issue is a plan of continued escape from the bondage of a type a totally hyper way of conduct. AA has finally taught me some tools that have been useful at finally developing some humility, and ego busting.
I know that I have said it before...but I am 100% certain of it now. My drinking problem is much smaller than my thinking problem. Anyway, planning my first trip for next week today. If you want, have a quiet thought that I am ready and able to accomplish this first test with some amount of serenity.
Steve, please vent with us. My goodness, working all those hours...you NEED to vent!
DG, congrats on the no-weed 90. Enjoy your new focus and plan. Take 5 and dance around your hotel room like nobody's watching in celebration! Perhaps I will see you out there in travelville.
Jaws, we have a very similar sense of humor...lovin that dry stuff. I loved your grads from yesterday. Hope that you do not mind...I smiled.
BF, nothing wrong with a duvet day...it's great recovering alkie therapy. It is still SOOO much better than a hangover recovery day. Congrats to your Mom!
Gracie, don't forget your rainbrella. My oldest called it that as a kid, cracked ex and I up all the time...and I say she is spot on.
Toots, what happened on the race track...did I miss it? I know you must be impressed with the form I display in my new AV...not. But hey, I pared that hole.
Dotty P...your new nickname...Professor. Thanks for your many thought provoking posts. Actually, I need to add Toots to that list. I love getting all deep in recovery thoughts.
MB......still buds? Honestly, I stay away from those threads because the extremists on both sides always invade.
Snoozyq...catch you in rhymeville, love the AV!
My best to all...gotta boggie on...thank you and ((xxx)), all Undies.
Ahhh, that first sip of java. It is a bit extra special these past two days as I have eliminated coffee from my evening meetings. Thank goodness for that. I never drank coffee past mid afternoon but its omnipresence at AA meetings had me feeling like well it sure beats the alternative, so rock on, dude. I did, then started adding a sweet a month ago and ended up taking both to the max. Anyway, sweets are totally out and coffee is about 20ozs in the AM moving forward.
I had a productive meeting with my therapist yesterday. We agreed that I seem to be building a strong sober foundation and it might be healthy to introduce a return to work in a gradual way. I had a small pitch on Monday and it got my competitive juices flowing.
I had not planned to return in any serious way till next year. However, I think I have a handle on my two biggest issues. Travel is a big one...did most of my serious drinking while away from home base. I will not leave without an AA meeting plan in my calendar, which will be more important than the actual business meetings.
The second issue is a plan of continued escape from the bondage of a type a totally hyper way of conduct. AA has finally taught me some tools that have been useful at finally developing some humility, and ego busting.
I know that I have said it before...but I am 100% certain of it now. My drinking problem is much smaller than my thinking problem. Anyway, planning my first trip for next week today. If you want, have a quiet thought that I am ready and able to accomplish this first test with some amount of serenity.
Steve, please vent with us. My goodness, working all those hours...you NEED to vent!
DG, congrats on the no-weed 90. Enjoy your new focus and plan. Take 5 and dance around your hotel room like nobody's watching in celebration! Perhaps I will see you out there in travelville.
Jaws, we have a very similar sense of humor...lovin that dry stuff. I loved your grads from yesterday. Hope that you do not mind...I smiled.
BF, nothing wrong with a duvet day...it's great recovering alkie therapy. It is still SOOO much better than a hangover recovery day. Congrats to your Mom!
Gracie, don't forget your rainbrella. My oldest called it that as a kid, cracked ex and I up all the time...and I say she is spot on.
Toots, what happened on the race track...did I miss it? I know you must be impressed with the form I display in my new AV...not. But hey, I pared that hole.
Dotty P...your new nickname...Professor. Thanks for your many thought provoking posts. Actually, I need to add Toots to that list. I love getting all deep in recovery thoughts.
MB...
...still buds? Honestly, I stay away from those threads because the extremists on both sides always invade.Snoozyq...catch you in rhymeville, love the AV!
My best to all...gotta boggie on...thank you and ((xxx)), all Undies.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Greets all.... Been sort of busy and sort of just down in the dumps this past week. The building issue is partially resolved, but the idiots still refuse to look for a long term solution to their financial issues. Now the various owners like to call me and rant about the other owners they do not like. I swear it is a grade school. And these are (supposedly) wealthy, important people. Grates on my last nerve.
Fall is upon us. Getting cooler and the leaves are turning. Last of the vegetable garden produce has been picked. Made a batch of fresh green beans and some green tomatoes are going to get fried. Olive the nutty dog loves the cooler weather but still protests her walks.
My down in the dumps is exactly the "Drinking problem is less than the thinking problem." Thanks for that phrase Carlos. I have a therapist apt today and we are working on that issue. I have long tended to see the negative in me and everyone/everything around me and thus drown it all in addictions. Then that well known spiral of shame and regret... you know the drill....
I do feel I have made a start in some more positive thinking and actions.... but a long way to go.
Congrats on 90 days weed free DG!
Have a good day/evening/night all Undies!
Fall is upon us. Getting cooler and the leaves are turning. Last of the vegetable garden produce has been picked. Made a batch of fresh green beans and some green tomatoes are going to get fried. Olive the nutty dog loves the cooler weather but still protests her walks.
My down in the dumps is exactly the "Drinking problem is less than the thinking problem." Thanks for that phrase Carlos. I have a therapist apt today and we are working on that issue. I have long tended to see the negative in me and everyone/everything around me and thus drown it all in addictions. Then that well known spiral of shame and regret... you know the drill....
I do feel I have made a start in some more positive thinking and actions.... but a long way to go.
Congrats on 90 days weed free DG!
Have a good day/evening/night all Undies!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Drake, you sound like you're in a head-space like mine. Wrote this on the subway this a.m.. Maybe it will help someone --
"Fake it til you make it": one of those slogans I've always thought was kinda trivial & annoying. I've been feeling sick & tired of faking it: faking emotionally sober, faking interested in other people, faking "good." Feeling like the "real" me is a little bit crazy, disinterested, and just plain bad. And might as well be drinking.
Then I thought, "Who or what will be better off if I stop faking it?" Not my husband, son, colleagues, job, or the general public. Not me, mental or physical health-wise. Only my alcoholism wins if I stop faking -- and maybe a couple of lowlifes who'd derive pleasure from my defeat.
Even if I NEVER "make it," the world is better off with me faking it.
Gotta love those slogans -- they always bear fruit with meditation!
Undies, keep fighting the good
fight!
"Fake it til you make it": one of those slogans I've always thought was kinda trivial & annoying. I've been feeling sick & tired of faking it: faking emotionally sober, faking interested in other people, faking "good." Feeling like the "real" me is a little bit crazy, disinterested, and just plain bad. And might as well be drinking.
Then I thought, "Who or what will be better off if I stop faking it?" Not my husband, son, colleagues, job, or the general public. Not me, mental or physical health-wise. Only my alcoholism wins if I stop faking -- and maybe a couple of lowlifes who'd derive pleasure from my defeat.
Even if I NEVER "make it," the world is better off with me faking it.
Gotta love those slogans -- they always bear fruit with meditation!
Undies, keep fighting the good
fight!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Jaws, that's pretty profound for subway thinking!! I don't see you faking it forever, I have a feeling you will be enjoying life sooner than you think.
Of the march thread a few weeks back, we all seemed to be getting different symptoms, but all feeling kind of low or out of sorts. Someone suggested PAWS and when we checked it out, it fit most of what we all were going through. It was a relief in a lot of ways to out a name to it and to know it was a temporary situation. And so much better than still drinking and the associated hangovers. Weirdly I almost felt proud of my PAWS symptoms, like, wow! I've been sober long enough to start getting PAWS! Dopey I know, but I never claimed to be smart!! Lol
Carlos, we had such a great day at the race track, though it was raining. the single seaters were pretty hairy as they were very twitchy on the wet track, the go carts were great fun, really slick surface by then so we were spinning round and everything! The track for the rally cars was muddy so we could really throw into the curves and slide sideways. Very diplomatically, they gave hubby and I the same scores, ( obviously there have been blood baths previously!!) we had matching stoopid grins all the way home, it was truly awesome!
Of the march thread a few weeks back, we all seemed to be getting different symptoms, but all feeling kind of low or out of sorts. Someone suggested PAWS and when we checked it out, it fit most of what we all were going through. It was a relief in a lot of ways to out a name to it and to know it was a temporary situation. And so much better than still drinking and the associated hangovers. Weirdly I almost felt proud of my PAWS symptoms, like, wow! I've been sober long enough to start getting PAWS! Dopey I know, but I never claimed to be smart!! Lol
Carlos, we had such a great day at the race track, though it was raining. the single seaters were pretty hairy as they were very twitchy on the wet track, the go carts were great fun, really slick surface by then so we were spinning round and everything! The track for the rally cars was muddy so we could really throw into the curves and slide sideways. Very diplomatically, they gave hubby and I the same scores, ( obviously there have been blood baths previously!!) we had matching stoopid grins all the way home, it was truly awesome!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
Hi Undies
It's very late and I'm too tired right now to reply to all your posts.
I've just had possibly the two worst days of my life. We were awarded full custody this afternoon. I'm mentally and physically exhausted, my head is cabbaged and I feel like I've been through a wringer, but I'm happy and relieved. We wouldn't have won if I was still drinking that's for sure!
Carlos, I loved the yesterday and tomorrow poem, I'm going to copy it and keep it, if you don't mind.
That sounds like a fabulous day you had Toots.
Steve, I've got loads of friends just like that, it doesn't mean they don't care, they just probably aren't aware you need them.
That's about all I can manage right now.
Off to bed, catch up more tomorrow
Grace xxxx
It's very late and I'm too tired right now to reply to all your posts.
I've just had possibly the two worst days of my life. We were awarded full custody this afternoon. I'm mentally and physically exhausted, my head is cabbaged and I feel like I've been through a wringer, but I'm happy and relieved. We wouldn't have won if I was still drinking that's for sure!
Carlos, I loved the yesterday and tomorrow poem, I'm going to copy it and keep it, if you don't mind.
That sounds like a fabulous day you had Toots.
Steve, I've got loads of friends just like that, it doesn't mean they don't care, they just probably aren't aware you need them.
That's about all I can manage right now.
Off to bed, catch up more tomorrow
Grace xxxx
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
Thanks Steve, me too. It was awful though, I never want to go through anything like it again. Can't believe how drained I feel.
I hope you're feeling a bit better now.
Good night you.
xxxxx
I hope you're feeling a bit better now.
Good night you.
xxxxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,181
Congrats Gracie!!! You soooooooooooooo deserve everything you desire, young lady!
That really made even me feel good! I will carry those positive vibes with me as I chair a mtg tonight.
Thought I would mooch the web from a starbucks down the street from my mtg.
While buying stuff for the mtg at store I ran into a guy that started AA at just about the same time as me. He nearly walked passed me as he weaved down the aisle. He went back out drinking about a month ago. He got in a fight at a bar (what an alkie cliché), had a swollen face, wearing shades. Lost his equilibrium and had to take this week off work, I begged him to come with me...wouldn't, said he wanted to return...sure...and monkeys fly out of my behind, too. ( I quote Austin Powers way too much) Anyway, very sad!
On a positive front...the guy that challenged us to talk him out of drinking because of a pending prison thing two weeks ago has NOT drank and been to a mtg every night! Turns out he is a Dr...crazy.
Gotta run...again, great news Gracie.
Toots, thanks 4 the racing update...I will comment further tomorrow.
I a
That really made even me feel good! I will carry those positive vibes with me as I chair a mtg tonight.
Thought I would mooch the web from a starbucks down the street from my mtg.
While buying stuff for the mtg at store I ran into a guy that started AA at just about the same time as me. He nearly walked passed me as he weaved down the aisle. He went back out drinking about a month ago. He got in a fight at a bar (what an alkie cliché), had a swollen face, wearing shades. Lost his equilibrium and had to take this week off work, I begged him to come with me...wouldn't, said he wanted to return...sure...and monkeys fly out of my behind, too. ( I quote Austin Powers way too much) Anyway, very sad!
On a positive front...the guy that challenged us to talk him out of drinking because of a pending prison thing two weeks ago has NOT drank and been to a mtg every night! Turns out he is a Dr...crazy.
Gotta run...again, great news Gracie.
Toots, thanks 4 the racing update...I will comment further tomorrow.
I a
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