Croissant

Hi Darl, thinking of you and hope it all goes ok.

Yep, aching all over last weekend, totally get how you are feeling! I also underestimated how that last cleanup, bits and pieces is sooooo draining.

Good luck! Xx

forabetterlife

Good morning everyone..

NCG: Moving is tough, they say it’s one of the most stressful life events and I believe it!

I got things accomplished while drinking too, but I feel like I never did them right. I was merely just getting through it. I get so much more satisfaction when I complete something sober. For example, today is my daughter’s 12th birthday and every year I create this little scavenger hunt for her to find her presents. It’s time consuming and I have to be creative about it, and while I’ve always done it, I know that many years I’ve done it while drinking and I know I could’ve probably done so much better. These past two years I’ve been totally sober for both of their birthdays and it feels so good. On the other hand, the guilt and regret I have is overwhelming. I know...try to focus on the present and the positive!

So today is day 9 which I know pales in comparison to all of the consecutive sober time all of you have. Somehow I feel that it doesn’t take me long to recover after a slip (but that one day is HE** and totally not worth it) and I don’t feel like I’m starting all over again. I still feel like I have come so far from where I was a couple of years ago. That being said, I certainly do not want the back and forth struggle anymore, and I am determined to fight through it, stronger than ever.

Have a great Tuesday everyone.
And thinking of you today Ladybug, hoping all goes well for you tomorrow.

Ladybug2

Good morning everyone,

Day 75 today, but I barely made it through yesterday. I swear, if my Mom hadn't had the day off and been running around with me, I probably would have driven to the liquor store. Just one of those days where I was on edge all day and every thing and person was on my last nerve. Kind of felt like I just couldn't cope and I started to get that "f-it, I don't care if I blow all of my days, I'm drinking, etc." But, I didn't do it. So, today is another day.

Thanks for all of your kind words. This forum and all of you are helping me so much. Have to take my daughter to swim class, but will check back in later.

Hope everyone had a wonderful day. Hugs to all of you

SnoozyQ

Ladybug glad you didn't drink yesterday and i bet your daughter is too.

Isn't it nice to take her swimming without the dreaded , ugly , hideous hangover.
Congrats hon xxxx

Ladybug2

Yes, it is, SQ! I remember when we first started swim lessons (a couple of years ago) and being hungover for a lot of them, or not even making it there! Shame on me I need to keep remembering things like that!

How are you doing today??

Neverthought

Hi All,

You might think this is bizarre. So, here's my story. Last year I though I had it all figured out. My confidence was soring. I was busy helping others on SR while my days accumulated. I started my 2nd journey on Oct. 2nd 2012 (1st was May 23, 2011) which I've referenced many times for my sake. I enjoyed my son's 5th b-day on Oct. 30th. We went to Disney for Thanksgiving. I was likely going to make it to the end of the year. But then I was hit with an emotional ton of bricks. Nothing in particular or maybe something held emotionally deep inside. I caved on Dec. 24th 2012.

I thought I could drink for Christmas Eve and then get back on the horse. But I was wrong. Well, ashamed and embarrassed that I let myself and others down, yet needing help, I tried to hide. 84 days down the drain I thought. That date still haunts me!

So, it begins. I though I would just try a clean slate that would put me back on the sobriety map. By doing this I would create another user name TBML. I started off strong and made it from May 6th until June 3rd. And ..bam...flat on my face again. 28 days and well, the only answer was within me.

This has been bothering me for a while for whatever reason. So, I just wanted to say that I will assuming again as Neverthought which began my journey on SR back in May of 2011.

I'm just an alcoholic that tried to fool himself. When in a desperate situations people do desperate things! There is only one way out of this!

Furthermore, it didn't work...lol. And secondly, I kept referencing achievements completed under a different user name. I'm thinking "what the hell am I doing"

So, I'd like be accepted as a Septemberite again. Thanks.!

I posted this in my September class, so, I just copied this from last months thread because I want to keep in touch with everyone from May and July Classes.

So, when you get a friend request you'll know it's just me Neverthought (TBML)!

Great to read you're all doing well too!

BTW....(27) days and going super strong!

B.r....Neverthought (A.K.A. takingbackmylif)

Ladybug2

Hi NT (TBML) and congrats on 27 days!!! Good for you Thanks for sharing your story!

Neverthought

Hi LB,

I've read some of your latest posts and I'm super happy you are toughing it out!

The main reason I'm NT again is that I was confusing people by saying I've been on SR for over 2 years while trying to support people on here. And I could see the wheels turning. Like, uh your username says May 2013??? So, that was only to avoid confusion.....I'm still the same!

I needed to get some time under my belt to run with the big-dogs again. So, I'll stopping in more often.

How is your child doing?

Take care and stay strong Julyians!

Ladybug2

My daughter is doing really well, NT. She loves preschool so that makes me happy! How is your son doing? He is in K right (Parkland SD?) Are you doing AA, by any chance?

resolute50

Hello all my friends in the July 2013 forum.
Hope everybody is having a nice night, morning, afternoon or whatever it is in your neck of the woods. I've been trying to keep up with yard work, leaves in the gutters and mowing the grass for the last time.
I haven't had any real temptations to drink so far this week.
Just relaxing and watching the Red Sox game.

Leshar

Hi all, and welcome back, Neverthought. Thanks for explaining your situation.

Ladybug, I'm sorry it's such a stressful time for you, the MRI's tomorrow, isn't it? Will be thinking of you, let us know once you know anything.

I had a horrible, lonely, anxious Canadian Thanksgiving. I felt empty, like I was just dying inside.
Today's better. I went to my acting class in the city. I dunno, though, I'm not going to drink but I have awful cravings lately, I can't bear the thought that they may never go away. I know I have to keep working hard to change my negative thought patterns that are keeping me stuck. I know you guys understand, but I can't talk to anyone in real life about how awful it feels sometimes, the crazy idea that drinking will give me some relief.

I think I have to set some realistic goals, like moving from this house, I feel it's sucking the energy out of me.
I'm going to talk to my bank and just see what I can do/afford.

I will have to get my butt in gear and do some major clearing out, my husband's stuff esp, that will be hard, but it's got to be done.

Hope you're all coping as best you can, day by day...

Ladybug2

Hi Leshar,

Thanks for thinking of me. Yes, my MRI is tomorrow. Have to be there at 6:15 in the morning!! Yuck, but at least I will get it over with. My Dr said I may not hear anything until early next week?! WTH? Not sure if I can go through another weekend of waiting

Sorry you had a unpleasant holiday. I can relate to what you said about the crazy thoughts that drinking will give us some relief. I have been having the same thoughts/struggles. All we can so is work through those thoights and get to the next day. Maybe a new place/fresh start would be good for you? Something to think about/look into, right? Sending you hugs

Leshar

Thanks, Ladybug, hope you get some sleep tonight. That's an early start, good luck!

Neverthought

That's great LB. I'm glad that the two of you adjusted so well.

Yes, he loves kindergarten! I changed my hours so I can take him to the bus stop every morning which is only 3 houses up our street. My hours suck, but I don't have to take him for before care, just after care because it's only a 1/2 day. So, we save a lot of money with the sacrafice of me working late in the day.

I am not doing AA. Back in 2011 when I began my sobriety journey my councilor gave me a stapled listing of all of AA classes in Lehigh County...and there are a lot. But I haven't gone that route yet. It really depends on how I wrap this year up and heading into next year.

What about you LB?

resolute50

Thinking of you today,Ladybug..

I'm on 82 days.
Just checking in this morning to see how everyone is doing.

SnoozyQ

Ditto ladybug :-)

Let us know how you go hun xx

Croissant

I never need the sober days counter when you are around, Bob!

Ladybug2

You all are so great It was so nice to come home from my MRI and see such nice posts. So, all over. Now I just wait. Will let you all know when I hear.

Running on very little sleep and have to watch my 2 week old nephew (with my 3 year old) later today so my SIL can go get her flu shot. Hope he doesn't fuss the whole time It seems like forever ago that my daughter was a newborn. I think I like this stage better (minus the tantrums).

Anyway, hope everyone is having a good day and thanks, again, for the kind words. Hugs to you all!

Ladybug2

I tried AA back in April - June of 2012 (first try at sobriety) and I found a couple of good groups close by, but I couldn't get into to the whole 12 step/sponsor part of it. I think it is wonderful for those who have had success with it. So far, SR has worked better for me. Plus, I don't have to drag a 3 year old to meetings

Neverthought

Yes, I would struggle with the 12 steps as well.

Although, I don't really know what the 12 steps are, so, I shouldn't say that. But I have my own steps that are working.

But as you say...."we support those who do go that route."

I hope your are doing well though. I don't have the history on your MRI, but as others have mentioned.....fingers crossed for good results...

(28) in.....same as back in May. But I had a lot on my mind at that time. I was always thinking about drinking and weekends were brutal.

However, I have had only minor contemplation in the last 4 weeks....

Proud of everyone in SR and especially this group because I have history with all of you. Keep setting the pace and I will follow in your footsteps!