SoberMarathon

Last year when I ran Berlin I pounded 3-4 pints shortly after the race. This is how the alcoholic in me rewarded myself. Totally stupid, I know. Now the races push the alcohol-free beer, often right at the finish line. I don't mind the alcohol-free stuff but I won't touch it now, at least for now. It's too much like the real thing and that sickens me.

ctrl

I totally understand Sobermarathon. Drinking beers was always part of the package...sometimes I wonder if I raced only to justify mass quantities of beer after. Or at least justify a bender to those around me.

Driver...I almost forgot! CONGRATS on your twins! You have a beautiful wife. You have a great attitude, you are doing good thinking, and are very introspective. You will be a great dad.

SoberMarathon

Yeah...if only we were normal. I think most of us probably started out normal and then over time developed abnormal relations with booze. I often think had I made different friends, came from a different family, went to a different college, etc, that I never would be in this situation. I can't blame anyone but me of course but excess booze has been in my face for a very long time. And I certainly took advantage. I guess it was a combination of opportunity and me being overly indulgent.

fishoutawatta

Checkin' in, Tobies!

Day 11 is in the bank! Gonna make a great deposit after day 12, too!

Fishy

Siesta

Just checking in real quick. Not a good start. Car battery is dead. Had a 6:45am show up time at work that I didn't make. I hate starting the day off this way. Got my son up and he took me to work. Of course his gas light was on so had to stop. Blah blah blah. First thought was, I need a drink after work today. Going to work on that thought and convince myself not to give in to it. One of the girls I work with told me she just quit drinking so maybe I'll open up to her a little.
I'll check in later. Thanks for all the kind words guys. Means everything to me right now.

Driver, lovely picture, wish I could see it better but I only use my phone for this site. Congratulations on your soon to be expanding family!!

InsaneHeart

Good morning everyone! Day 15! I woke up early this morning, NOT nursing a hangover. It's football day today, so excited!

bblackbirdflyy

Hi, I had a month and a half of sobriety beginning in June 2011, Had about 20 days in August this year. Soberrecovery helped me a lot. I'm back on day one again. I hate that, trying again I'm absolutely destroying my life and am not happy with myself. No more agains.


October is hands down the best month of the year!

JoeinHouston

Glad to have found the October 2013 group! I'm a very newly minted coin around here, dating back just 4 days to last Thursday Oct 3. Second go-around here, having quit once before for almost 17 years. Thought I was 'mature' enough to handle the occasional glass of wine or whatever. Two years later and the alcohol was just as much of a problem as before... So back to square one. Sleeping so much better already (have not woken up at 7:30A for the longest time, more like 4:30A or 5:00A) and keen to go out and walk the dogs, do some chores, go to the gym, take on the world. Going to see a movie (Rush) a bit later and won't be buying a pint of beer as usual. The theater (Sundance in downtown Houston) has a full and very popular bar... Ha! Also looking forward to dropping some elbees, have gained 30 lbs over the last 2 years since I started drinking again. Need to get back to my usual svelte 160 from the current 190 lbs. Looking forward to hearing from other October classmates soon. Best to get the new clean habits ingrained soon before Thanksgiving and the holidays are on us!!

SoberMarathon

Welcome to October sober bblackbirdflyy! This month is another attempt at permanent sobriety for me as well. Had 2.5 months before slipping hard a week ago. Any plans on what to do different this time to make it stick?

SoberMarathon

Welcome joe in Houston! 17 years wow...that's an amazing accomplishment. Did you use AA or another recovery method during that time? I think just about all of us on this site have proven we are not capable of drinking like non-alcoholics for very long. I have given up any attempt to moderate because I fail miserably each and every attempt. I think moderation to the alcoholic is sort of like telling the 'chubby kid' that he can only have 1 slice of pizza while all of the other kids can eat till their full. The 'chubby kid' isn't going to play that game very long. No offense to 'chubby kids', it's just the truth. Anyways, welcome to our club!

SoberMarathon

And so day 4 winds down for me. Physically I'm feeling a lot better and ready to face the world again tomorrow. I ran 4 miles today, slowly, and like I was running uphill despite being on a completely flat trail. The post-binge/relapse run is by far the worst for me...never again. Still have some anger and shame about my recent performance of drunkenness. Will try and harness the anger and put it towards being productive this week. The shame will just take some time but eventually it goes away...I know from experience. It's so embarrassing that I let things get this far - I've been a pretty public drunk, unfortunately. I have for the most part been a 'high-functioning alcoholic' which probably confuses some people and almost seems to make it more acceptable. In fact, another very high-functioning alcoholic often tells me that 'it's ok to get drunk and make an ass out of yourself' as long as you are getting your work done and being successful in what you do. Can't believe I took that advice literally for years as this came from someone I look up to and still contact for professional advice. Live and learn, sometimes the hard way.

Driver1

Just checking in with everybody and wishing everyone well.

Busy day around the house (maintenance) and remarkably few jitters. These tasks always used to require beer. I thought it was the only way I could cope with the seemingly endless work. My resolution is getting stronger. It's nice to see things from a different perpective here on day 7.

Anyway...

Siesta, Bummer on the car. I'm sending positive waves you way and always pulling for you. Don't let that AV get in your head. It's not gonna help you (and you know it). Go to something fun for yourself.

Dee, you are so right about rediscovery. I feel like a completely different person. My perspectives on sobriety are moving in a good direction...to which I certainly did not know existed. It seemed impossible. I feel like a child in a way. Opening my eyes to this wondrous world. The redicovery of inner values is rewarding but also very humbling. Why did I go on like that - destroying myself in so many ways for so long? I am grateful to SR and Tobies for helping me find my way. Thanks Dee.

Marathon, you kick yourself a lot. But I find you insprational. Yes, you may have fallen off after a few solid stats and stops over the past year. But you always come back. And quickly. That takes strength.

I have no answer for your million dollar question but drininking is commonly is used as a crutch or escape. Have you explored any of these possibilities? P.S, nice job on you run this morning. I'm gonna start back soon. Been walking with wife about 3 or 4 miles, 3 or 4 days a week since March, but I'm ready to start running again.

ctrl..."almost thankful for alcoholism". I get it. I may not have hit a rock bottom. But it SUCKED nonetheless. Hitting the reset button couldn't have been a better decision. I love my sobriety. I can't believe I'm saying that now!!

Victoria74, KateeDidnt...how's it going?

DoubleDragons, ItsMyTime...you out there?

ItsViolet. Glad to hear on the therapy. Whatever the outcome, you'll be able to say you gave it your best shot. That'll be worth so much as you move forward.

Bilr44. Five weekends in a row...fantastic! You are an inspiration as well.

TreeLover, Way to go on your 2nd day (and your garden...whats growing in Stralia this time of year?) Keep it up. I'm pulling for you.

cairns87, glad you are back to SR. You know how helpful this site can be. Six months is a fantastic run. Best for another run at it. Keep posting!

MythofSisyphus, nice to see you back as well. Not a single word of wizdom?? Surely there must be some pearls you've discovered along your journey.

Way to go FishOut! Keep it up!

Welcome bblackbirdflyy and JoeinHouston. Glad you are aboard...wishing you the best. You'll find a lot of support here.

bblackbirdflyy

I'm contemplating aa sm. It's hard because then I have to admit to others that I'm an alcoholic... But that's a small price to pay for sobriety I think. What's worked for you?

Hawkeye13

Hi Everyone;
I've been lurking for about two weeks, when I found this site looking for information about acute alcohol detox symptoms. I had a relapse after nearly two years of sobriety after trying that stupid "moderation now that I have control" idea. I know better now, and have been sober since September 21st, so I guess technically I should have joined the September class, but really started reading the postings closer to October.

I'd like to join the October class if enrollment is still open. The support and understanding here is amazing and I think I can benefit a lot from being more active than I have been. Best wishes to all of you and thank you for the help you've already given me by sharing your stories and advice.

SoberMarathon

I've been to AA and it was helpful to have face:face contact. I've never given the steps a chance and I prefer to read what I want rather than studying the BigBook. Works for some but not for everyone. By going to AA it forced me to realize and accept that this is real and there is no turning back. That exercise in itself was very helpful.

Now I'm using SR daily, have people to 'checkin' with daily, and using exercise as my new addiction. Haven't proven this works yet but I'm trying.

Driver1

Always appreciate your insights ctrl.

This is exactly how I feel...strarting from scatch and rebuilding. Carrying forward the good stuff, making some additions, and dropping the bad (which almost exclusively was the beer).

I also used to think the alcohol made it all better, too. But it really just tore everything down and/or robbed the moment. Just yesterday I was engaged in great conversation with a total stranger after running an errand. In the past I would have probably just made some very small talk so I could quickly get home and feed my demon. I DID THAT ALL THE TIME. Always, always, always thinkng about the next beer (session).

It is so nice to be fully engaged "right now".

ctrl, thanks also for the kind comments. Wife is beautiful. And I am so excited for these babies. We are so happy to be here. As for fatherhood; I know there will be fun, challenges, and work (work is what you make it though!). I'm ready for all three with eyes wide sober!

Driver1

You're in!

Welcome. You're right. There is a ton of support and great people here. Congrats on day 16(?). Any words of wizdom?

Glad you are here. Keep reading and posting.

colagirl

Hi all, can I join you guys? I'm back on SR after a small hiatus, but I'm on day 2 now so October 5th is my date. I am not looking back this time, it cannot happen, so I'm going to need lots of encouragement and support for the inevitable hurdles that are ahead.

BrokeBad

Hi all, I am joining the October class! Yeah!!!! I'm scared, but so what. Need to do it scared. I have several bottles of booze to dump out.... but I'm going to do it. Thanks for being here!

colagirl

Yay, welcome! Pour those jerks down the drain where they belong - probably will also help unclog any buildup in the pipes - yuck!