Moms and Mums Club 2013 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 144
This might sound harsh, tone is so difficult to get across when you are not face to face, so please take this in the kindest possible light:
I hear what you are saying about not getting attention from him. On the other hand, beware of trying to justify your behavior. If you had not been drinking you would not have acted that way, correct? If I told my husband I did something like giving out my number, and then said "but it was kind of your fault" it would end very badly indeed.
When I drink I behave badly. When I am sober I try come up with all sorts of reasons why (reasons that don't lead to the obvious conclusion that I am an alcoholic). It isn't that the other things are not there or true. It is that sober I make decisions and act based on a code of morals that my drunk self completely ignores. Sober, if I am unhappy with my husband or feeling unappreciated, I talk to him about it or talk it out with a friend. But when I am drinking I am impulsive, idiotic, and behave in ways that would appall sober me.
I don't know if I am making sense. Anyway, my point is that if you own up to what you did I would take responsibility for it alone, without trying to shift blame to him (no matter how much he may deserve some of the blame). The conversation about his treatment of you is best left for a later date out of the context of your slip.
I hear what you are saying about not getting attention from him. On the other hand, beware of trying to justify your behavior. If you had not been drinking you would not have acted that way, correct? If I told my husband I did something like giving out my number, and then said "but it was kind of your fault" it would end very badly indeed.
When I drink I behave badly. When I am sober I try come up with all sorts of reasons why (reasons that don't lead to the obvious conclusion that I am an alcoholic). It isn't that the other things are not there or true. It is that sober I make decisions and act based on a code of morals that my drunk self completely ignores. Sober, if I am unhappy with my husband or feeling unappreciated, I talk to him about it or talk it out with a friend. But when I am drinking I am impulsive, idiotic, and behave in ways that would appall sober me.
I don't know if I am making sense. Anyway, my point is that if you own up to what you did I would take responsibility for it alone, without trying to shift blame to him (no matter how much he may deserve some of the blame). The conversation about his treatment of you is best left for a later date out of the context of your slip.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
HI Moms...
Checking in today. Welcome Kelly, hope you stick with us. Pretty good day for me, got on the scale and saw myself down another 2 pounds which made me happy. I was thinking how that was such a great extra motivation for me.
THEN, the thought occurred to me that when I get to my goal weight and don't have that "extra" motivation anymore that it would be easier for me to slip. I like to think it won't, but the possibility is frightening. I am so thrilled with how I have been feeling physically I think I am losing sight of the emotional parts that got me in this situation.
I think it's time to introduce a program (likely AA) to my life. I still need to learn how to better cope with my emotions. Think this week I will find a meeting. I will keep you all posted.
Checking in today. Welcome Kelly, hope you stick with us. Pretty good day for me, got on the scale and saw myself down another 2 pounds which made me happy. I was thinking how that was such a great extra motivation for me.
THEN, the thought occurred to me that when I get to my goal weight and don't have that "extra" motivation anymore that it would be easier for me to slip. I like to think it won't, but the possibility is frightening. I am so thrilled with how I have been feeling physically I think I am losing sight of the emotional parts that got me in this situation.
I think it's time to introduce a program (likely AA) to my life. I still need to learn how to better cope with my emotions. Think this week I will find a meeting. I will keep you all posted.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Originally Posted by Dollyangel17 
I think it's time to introduce a program (likely AA) to my life. I still need to learn how to better cope with my emotions. Think this week I will find a meeting. I will keep you all posted.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
I'm so freaked out by going to a meeting! I don't know why or maybe I do and just don't want to admit it. I feel like going to a meeting and saying it out loud in real life where people actually could know me would make me feel so exposed!
Congrats on the weight dolly!
Congrats on the weight dolly!
greenturtle
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 208
Thanks all - I appreciate your thoughts and advice.
Juststopit - No excuses here, I take all the responsibility for acting like a complete idiot and doing something so out of character. This is just another reason - among many many previous ones - for why I should stop drinking...because drinking makes me into a person I do not know at all. It's so hard coming to terms with my alcoholism. You get a few months under your belt and then the AV starts up again telling you you can drink responsibly which is just complete crap.
InperfectlyMe - I felt the way you do now about my first meeting but it went really well. I wish you luck in it. I always felt god walking into a meeting knowing that everyone there is facing the same problem as you and that these people "get" you and what you are going through.
Juststopit - No excuses here, I take all the responsibility for acting like a complete idiot and doing something so out of character. This is just another reason - among many many previous ones - for why I should stop drinking...because drinking makes me into a person I do not know at all. It's so hard coming to terms with my alcoholism. You get a few months under your belt and then the AV starts up again telling you you can drink responsibly which is just complete crap.
InperfectlyMe - I felt the way you do now about my first meeting but it went really well. I wish you luck in it. I always felt god walking into a meeting knowing that everyone there is facing the same problem as you and that these people "get" you and what you are going through.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Morning girls! 6.08 here.
Kelly, welcome and, ugh, I know what it's like to carry guilt. It's awful! Forgiving yourself and moving on is the only way. Easier said than done.
How is everyone today/tonight?
Too early to tell for me yet. I'm snuggled next to a 2 and 4 year old who have kicked my husband out of bed. Grocery shopping day with my youngest today. Nothing much happening here. Need to go back to doc to if I can get in.
Kelly, welcome and, ugh, I know what it's like to carry guilt. It's awful! Forgiving yourself and moving on is the only way. Easier said than done.
How is everyone today/tonight?
Too early to tell for me yet. I'm snuggled next to a 2 and 4 year old who have kicked my husband out of bed. Grocery shopping day with my youngest today. Nothing much happening here. Need to go back to doc to if I can get in.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Congrats on the weight dolly. 2.2 pounds to a kilo, is that right?
Does anyone else have posts on here from when they were still using /drinking??? Omgosh, I went back and read some more old posts of mine from when I was high and drunk and wow. They don't even make sense and don't even sound like me. Auto correct contributed but I didn't even notice or bother to correct. Wow, I read some awhile ago and then again last night. Spins me right out.
Does anyone else have posts on here from when they were still using /drinking??? Omgosh, I went back and read some more old posts of mine from when I was high and drunk and wow. They don't even make sense and don't even sound like me. Auto correct contributed but I didn't even notice or bother to correct. Wow, I read some awhile ago and then again last night. Spins me right out.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,204
So glad to be sober today!
Kelly, I'm not sure I'd tell your husband. You didn't cheat (IMO). You ended contact. And you'll never need to find yourself doing stuff like that again.
Dust yourself off and start over. We're all here for you!
Kelly, I'm not sure I'd tell your husband. You didn't cheat (IMO). You ended contact. And you'll never need to find yourself doing stuff like that again.
Dust yourself off and start over. We're all here for you!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
As I drove down my street on my way home tonight, I found myself doing a familiar behavior, but for a much different reason.
I was snapping my purse shut before getting home. 6 weeks ago that was so that my husband wouldn't see the pint of brandy I had just purchased and stashed in my purse.
Tonight I was doing it because I had just bought a princess Figurine my daughter had seen over the weekend and wanted. I planned to leave it by her toothbrush so she would find it before bed, and didn't want her seeing it in my bag.
From brandy to Princess doll....what a switch:-)
I was snapping my purse shut before getting home. 6 weeks ago that was so that my husband wouldn't see the pint of brandy I had just purchased and stashed in my purse.
Tonight I was doing it because I had just bought a princess Figurine my daughter had seen over the weekend and wanted. I planned to leave it by her toothbrush so she would find it before bed, and didn't want her seeing it in my bag.
From brandy to Princess doll....what a switch:-)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Hi ladies,
It's been a miserably rainy and dreary Monday here. Very busy, though, took my daughter to dance class, went to the gym (after doing nothing but eating all weekend) and then my mom, daughter and I went to lunch and did a little shopping. Took my daughter to Disney store where she picked up another Disney stuffie (Daisy Duck), thanks to Grandma. It was a nice day. Two months ago I would have used this rainy day as an excuse to stay in and drink. Today was much better!
Blew up at my husband tonight over something stupid. I am still having moments of b*****ness that come out of nowhere! Although I am finding it usually happens at night when I am either really hungry or tired. Need to work on this as tonight he gave it right back to me and my daughter was listening to our raised voices with big eyes
Anyway, hope everyone is feeling well and staying strong. Day 36 today and I started thinking about the "what ifs" as in "what if I had a little wine today, it's been so long" etc.
NO, NO, NO!!
It's been a miserably rainy and dreary Monday here. Very busy, though, took my daughter to dance class, went to the gym (after doing nothing but eating all weekend) and then my mom, daughter and I went to lunch and did a little shopping. Took my daughter to Disney store where she picked up another Disney stuffie (Daisy Duck), thanks to Grandma. It was a nice day. Two months ago I would have used this rainy day as an excuse to stay in and drink. Today was much better!
Blew up at my husband tonight over something stupid. I am still having moments of b*****ness that come out of nowhere! Although I am finding it usually happens at night when I am either really hungry or tired. Need to work on this as tonight he gave it right back to me and my daughter was listening to our raised voices with big eyes
Anyway, hope everyone is feeling well and staying strong. Day 36 today and I started thinking about the "what ifs" as in "what if I had a little wine today, it's been so long" etc.
NO, NO, NO!!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Originally Posted by Ladybug2
Hi ladies,
It's been a miserably rainy and dreary Monday here. Very busy, though, took my daughter to dance class, went to the gym (after doing nothing but eating all weekend) and then my mom, daughter and I went to lunch and did a little shopping. Took my daughter to Disney store where she picked up another Disney stuffie (Daisy Duck), thanks to Grandma. It was a nice day. Two months ago I would have used this rainy day as an excuse to stay in and drink. Today was much better!. NO!!
It's been a miserably rainy and dreary Monday here. Very busy, though, took my daughter to dance class, went to the gym (after doing nothing but eating all weekend) and then my mom, daughter and I went to lunch and did a little shopping. Took my daughter to Disney store where she picked up another Disney stuffie (Daisy Duck), thanks to Grandma. It was a nice day. Two months ago I would have used this rainy day as an excuse to stay in and drink. Today was much better!
. NO!!Sounds like you had a much nicer day....good for you! We all have those moments of b*****ness. When I am PMSing, hubby hangs around the house with a lampshade on his head hoping I won't notice him:-)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Haha, thanks, Dolly. Nice to know I am not the only one. I feel like I have had PMS for a month now, ugh! Has anyone on this thread ever reached 90 days? Just curious if what I have been reading is true - that we will feel so much better and start to even out emotionally. Have a ways to go, but curious to see how much better I might feel in another 2 months. Something to keep working for
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
63 days and in still a raging bizatch from time to time today being one of those days . It's the evenings for me to. I find my fuse is so short and can snap and become so frustrated over stupid stuff. Im actually hyper sensitive to noise now too. I use to be able to block out my husband watching a basketball game while the kids watch another show in a different room all the while bickering. This chaos of noise drives me INSANE. It's so weird some days I feel as if I never drank and this new life is so normal and some days I feel like I don't know who I am.
. It's the evenings for me to. I find my fuse is so short and can snap and become so frustrated over stupid stuff. Im actually hyper sensitive to noise now too. I use to be able to block out my husband watching a basketball game while the kids watch another show in a different room all the while bickering. This chaos of noise drives me INSANE. It's so weird some days I feel as if I never drank and this new life is so normal and some days I feel like I don't know who I am.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Originally Posted by InperfectlyMe
63 days and in still a raging bizatch from time to time today being one of those days . It's the evenings for me to. I find my fuse is so short and can snap and become so frustrated over stupid stuff. Im actually hyper sensitive to noise now too. I use to be able to block out my husband watching a basketball game while the kids watch another show in a different room all the while bickering. This chaos of noise drives me INSANE. It's so weird some days I feel as if I never drank and this new life is so normal and some days I feel like I don't know who I am.
. It's the evenings for me to. I find my fuse is so short and can snap and become so frustrated over stupid stuff. Im actually hyper sensitive to noise now too. I use to be able to block out my husband watching a basketball game while the kids watch another show in a different room all the while bickering. This chaos of noise drives me INSANE. It's so weird some days I feel as if I never drank and this new life is so normal and some days I feel like I don't know who I am.Congrats on your 63 days, BTW! Is it at least a little better than the first 30??
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