daisy1

Onedayatatime I too have slept and feel much better :-) - I also looked at various stories on SR in the dark hours and it helped so very much.

Shoes - thank you <3 I adore your lined up bananas - can't wait for my own line up from you (like AA chips, lol)

Dee - you always say just the right thing......

XXX

daisy1

As I got up this morning I staggered past the mirror and took a wary glimpse, so tired I thought I must look a fright as usual..... nope, eyes sparkly, hair shining, skin clear, a teeny bit thinner.....I like this no booze thing!!

tootsl1

Shoes thank you for for sharing your experiences with recovery methods,the general opinion of most here, is that one size doesn't fit all.
As Sass says, pick and chose what works

What I love about this thread, no one here tries to force their beliefs on anyone, just offers honest advice and support.
I presume there are those here who have read Susan Jeffers 'Feel The Fear and Do it Anyway' but if you haven't, I would recommend it. Even if you did ages ago, get hold of another copy. I intend to. It is not about alcoholism or recovery, but about facing what is holding us back. As drunks we buried our emotions under a sea of alcohol, now we need to learn tools not only to keep sober, but to deal with emotions and life sober. We focus so much on the sobriety part of our recovery, but really, learning how to deal with real life as adults is just as important, as the better we cope, the less likely we Re to slip.

Daisy, Briar, Oneday, what you are dealing with are facts. Life is harsh for the majority, work eat sleep and 2 weeks in the sun a year, with a credit mountain getting eased by the spadeful on pay day. I want to say welcome to the real world with out sounding harsh, but truth is, that is how millions of people live from birth to death, which is why so many turn to
Methods of escape like alcohol or drugs, or who live daily with depression. I don't want to be a downer, but life is what we make it, can you see a way for your life to be different and what steps can you take to make it so? Try to find ways to enjoy the here and now, aromatic baths, mani pedi, massage, a good book or DVD. Specifically reward yourself for your sobriety, give yourself 'chips' you found the money for booze, so it is there.
Remember to be proud of yourselves, some for learning valid lessons and coming right back, and those who are further down the line but reaching back
I thank all of you for being a part of my life, it is enriched by every single one of you. Xx

tootsl1

As for me, it is starting to look more likely that the move is on. Hubby is wanted out there next week??? But needs to be released from the current branch of the company which may not be easy. Will know for sure later. If that happens and he goes, I very much expect he will stay on and I will follow.
For those worried for Molly, she will have our daughter looking after her, she will be staying in our house and renting out her flat. I still may bring her across at some point if I am able to. All that is a future probability, for now I am focussed on today and my first appointment with an alcohol counsellor. In fact, I best get out my lazy bed and get ready for it

Have a great day folks and I'll check in later xxx

Dee74

Hope the appointment goes well - and best wishes on that move too, whatever happens Toots

D

Marcher13

Ain't that the truth. I am a fairly low maintenance girl but the other week I bought fresh mascara, foundation, lotions etc and still spent less than two weeks' worth of the booze bill. In a fortnight's time I am going to buy myself a nice e-reader for a similar amount.

Good to see you Briar.

chuff1

Good Morning marchers

Buddink, I think Natty had the best piece of advice, you are quite obviously a good man, but you are the most important part of this equation.

Shoes, thank you for sharing your recovery methods. I would guess that I am similar to your Dad, in that, apart from this forum I don't belong to a group neither do I want to, more than happy to just not drink anymore. Have said it before but consider myself extremely lucky to have a partner who is not judgemental and offers great support, I do believe that this offers me a huge advantage over some. Having said that, the thing that really works for me is the promise I made myself not to have drink as an option, simple....but it works for me.
Morning Marcher 13, have a great day
Geek, 19 days, you have every right to feel proud
Morning Nurse Daisy, hope you are feeling more refreshed now, don't want those needles going in the wrong place!
JCMalta you just keep chalking of the days, well done my friend, and yes(OMG more shoes)
Briar, 28 days is awesome, no its a month! WOOOT!!
1dayatatyme, 33 days clean and sober, as well as waking up after only 4 hours sleep and feeling refreshed, gotta be worth another WOOOT!

Toots, my lovely Toots (Do you like the sincerity? well do you??)
Seems like you have the possibility of travel ahead young Toots, an adventure no less!!
Think it was Peter Pan or maybe the film of that name that said "Life is an awfully big adventure"
Good luck on what ever road you have to take Toots
Sassy, you mention that I am not on here so much, don't know if that's true or not, guess as the weeks trundle by you sort of get on with "normal" life, I have never been one to sit in front of a computer screen or play video games for any length of time.
You asked me how I was feeling well, this Sober Marcher is feeling fantastic

Much Love to you all

Mick x

tootsl1

Hey Mick, are you after my job??? And I love the sincerity as much as I love you my sweet Chuff! As long as I turn left after the third star, I won't get lost!!

Marcher 13, where did you get that photo of me from?????
Have a great day Daisy

The appointment went well, was supposed to be an assessment, but of course I turned it into a session and gret all over the counsellor she seems nice, but probably is in need of Therapy herself now!!! Haha
Off to get ready for work, bummer,it's such a nice day here, wish I could play hookey and get out in the garden. Ho hum, real life again!!!

Be safe be strong be sober xx

chuff1

Toots

No body does your job better than you my sweet

Mick x

kellyg

Hi All! Day 33 here and feeling good.

Panache - Sorry to hear you are leaving the group! Hope everything works out for you - good luck! I'll miss your witty humor and your "fights" with MrB

Snaggle - Also sorry to hear you might be going as well. Please take care and I wish the best for you!

K

NewDay79

Hey Marchers, I just wanted to say hi and wish you all the best. I so wish I could keep up with all the posts! Anyway, carry on Marchers. Day 30 for me was yesterday. Who would have thought?!?! Not me. I have an extensive letter that I wrote after the last time I drank. It's pretty heavy. I am using it as a weapon against any cravings as I sometimes try and convince myself I can 'control it' and have just a few. Especially after long periods of sobriety. No way, not me, not just one.

March on....

kellyg

All: I'm not quite sure how to feel about this so I need your opinions please.

Last night as me and my husband were talking I happily informed him that I hadn't drank in over a month - and actually only once in the past 2 1/2 months. I was rather proud of myself as I was telling him this since I used to drink 3-4 times a week. Anyway, his response was rather odd I thought. Instead of being very supportive and saying congrats and all he turns to me and says "yeah well I imagine it hasn't been that hard for you considering you haven't been anywhere where you've been tempted to drink." Am I being overly sensitive or was this an insensitive comment on his part? I mean - I am tempted all the time. Every day I go by the liquor store I always bought my booze at. The other day I ran into a liquor store around the corner from work to cash in my lotto tickets. I see beer commercials on the telly all the time, including watching movies and TV shows where people are drinking, not to mention the ever present updated statuses on Facebook of people drinking.

This kinda pissed me off. I was thinking later - hell is it even worth it not drinking when my own husband thinks my accomplishment is no accomplishment at all?

Thanks for letting me vent.

1Dayatatyme

First of all, this is a full time job to keep up with this Marchers 2013 class!!
OMG... I would like to respond to so many of the posts... but will wait until this week-end, which I have cleared out for housework and self-care.

All I know is I was able to fall back asleep last night after posting close to midnight, and slept another 5 fantastic hours!!! Best sleep I have had since coming into recovery 33 days ago!! A total of 9 hours... a miracle!!

Only other recovering addictions/alcoholics would understand the significance of this... "normies" just don't get it.. and that is ok, because we have SR to get our validation and acceptance to help us stay strong in this battle against the dark forces of addiction/alcoholism.

I will be off to work in about 20 minutes and this is the first time I am not panicking about going!!

Thank you my fellow classmates!!!

MeSoSober

It would've pissed me off as well. I think you should tell him that you were somewhat upset by his response and that you'd hoped he would be more supportive. That his support would help to ensure that you continued to stay sober even when you were seriously tempted. I definitely think you should talk to him about it, but just don't say anything confrontational or that puts him on the defensive (you probably already knew that).

Oh, and as for it being worth it not to drink -- I think that's for you to decide. Please do not let your husband's reaction make up your mind for you!!

And congratulations on racking up those sober days!!

Saskia

Kelly, I can understand being PO'd by your husband's remark. Otoh, people who aren't addicts just don't "get it". So he likely doesn't "get" how much effort that entailed for you. Although you can try talking to him about it, I might want to think first about whether or not he's the kind of guy who will make the effort to put himself in your shoes, so to speak. If not, you need to be prepared for more of the same. If he's normally one of the "good guys"' a heart-to-heart might be useful.

Mick, I wasn't criticizing about your being here less! I thought I noticed it and was encouraged because I've seen some folks stay here but post less as they feel stronger with their sobriety. It's understandable and thought that might be happening with you. I am happy for you and think it's all good. I do miss the frequent repartee between you and Toots especially but fully support you doing what you need to do for you. That's why we're all here

Happy to see all the sober days (and bananas) being racked up! I'm feeling quite good being totally sober now. Very minimal cravings and I seem to have gotten through the early phases during my prior multiple quit attempts.

(((hugs)))
Sassy

tootsl1

Kelly you dont say whether your husband knows rhat you have a drink problem or not, is he a social drinker? Remember we tend to judge others by our own standards, and if he can take or leave deink, he may be genuinely confused as to why you made a big deal out of not drinking for a while. My husband would have been the same up until i explained my addiction to him. If however he does know you are an addict, he is a horses ass!!! Xx

chuff1

Kelly G

I guess I would be pissed off as well, but the bottom line is its your sobriety that's important, non-addicts will never fully understand.....I think you rock


Mick x

chuff1

Sassy

In all honesty, I never ever thought that you were criticising me Sas, its true I do tend to read more than post these days, not a conscious decision just a natural progression I guess. So happy that you are finding things easier now

And don't you worry I haven't finished with the Toots lady yet!!

Mick x

RaggedyMan

Not wishing to defend your OH, but I don't think those who don't suffer from the cravings/urges ever really understand how difficult it is to get it under control and keep it under control.

I definitely would not be happy with a comment like that and would have wanted more constructive support... But as my wife has said in the past "I don't understand why you can't just have one beer or one glass of wine" - exactly - she doesn't understand and she never will because she's never felt that uncontrollable desire for alcohol.

Hope you stick with it...

Briar

Kelly - I am in a similar spot with my husband. He fundamentally misunderstands alcoholism. He has told me he used to be an alcoholic too, but he decided to be an occasional social drinker instead, and now he is. He has no idea what it's like, and he doesn't believe that I am an alcoholic at all, just that I handle stress poorly and make bad choices. I hope one day that I will be able to talk openly with him about this, but right now it's just not worth it.