Class of January 2013 pt 5
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Western New York
Posts: 375
Originally Posted by Bunny7 
Hi there, I started my sobriety journey 1/1/13 (nice & easy date to remember!)
I'm feeling good so far - I have a psychological dependence, not physical, so I haven't had any 'cravings' as such but a few 'I feel left out, I want to join in'
I've realised I never really enjoyed the taste of alcohol except maybe (only certain) white wines, so that's made it easy to not want a drink in that sense.
I'm still feeling a but isolated because I've been taking myself out of any situations where I'd want to drink and be tempted. But I've just started going to group meetings which has been a great eye opener and got me to meet people like me!
Overall, feeling (perhaps naively) positive, but still very cautious not to get complacent with myself & forget how easily I could slip up.
I'm feeling good so far - I have a psychological dependence, not physical, so I haven't had any 'cravings' as such but a few 'I feel left out, I want to join in'
I've realised I never really enjoyed the taste of alcohol except maybe (only certain) white wines, so that's made it easy to not want a drink in that sense.
I'm still feeling a but isolated because I've been taking myself out of any situations where I'd want to drink and be tempted. But I've just started going to group meetings which has been a great eye opener and got me to meet people like me!
Overall, feeling (perhaps naively) positive, but still very cautious not to get complacent with myself & forget how easily I could slip up.
Bunny, you sound a lot like me. I wasn't an every day drinker, more of a social drinker that would get out of control. I haven't had any physical withdrawal symptoms - it's more the mental game of thinking about not drinking at social events and with friends. Sober for 19 days so far though, and feeling really good about it and really positive about the idea of a sober future. No more worrying about what I said or did the night before, no more nervously checking for texts and emails I might have sent, no more hangovers. I too have taken myself out of situations that could possibly be tempting at this point, and plan to continue to do so at least for the near future. Those situations are just not important enough to me to chance the tempatation. I feel strong now, but I might feel differently sitting on a bar stool surrounded by drinking friends. Better to be safe than sorry while I'm still getting used to my sober feet.
Congrats on more than 30 days!
-Alison
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: US
Posts: 38
Hi all- Thanks for that link bounced!
Was out driving today and realized how great it was to be sober and in no danger to anyone. The next minute I'm thinking I should call my friend and meet her out for a glass of wine or two. What? I'm mentally defective and cannot be trusted!!! I may call her but I am not leaving the house until my pea brain can be trusted. It's amazing this AV thing.
I got some books in the mail today that were recommended from people on SR. Reading seems a little more safe than thinking.
Maybe all of you have had these thoughts before but I don't think I've had a "glad to be sober" thought lead so quickly to a drinking thought!!!!
Was out driving today and realized how great it was to be sober and in no danger to anyone. The next minute I'm thinking I should call my friend and meet her out for a glass of wine or two. What? I'm mentally defective and cannot be trusted!!! I may call her but I am not leaving the house until my pea brain can be trusted. It's amazing this AV thing.
I got some books in the mail today that were recommended from people on SR. Reading seems a little more safe than thinking.
Maybe all of you have had these thoughts before but I don't think I've had a "glad to be sober" thought lead so quickly to a drinking thought!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: London
Posts: 209
Originally Posted by seekinga
So I posted back in Jan - was a couple of days sober back then. I lasted 8 days and then found the depression and boredom too much. Got to thinking about how I could definitely control the amount of wine I was drinking. So for the first couple of nights I had 3 glasses. Followed by a night of way too many, vomiting and regret. Followed by a hangover and then a return to my original 5 glasses per night and now I am back here. Will this ever end? I want it to but I am so angry at myself that I can't just be like everyone else and just have 1 or 2 and then forget it. The thought of never being able to just relax with a wine and not worry about it pisses me off. Sorry for the negativity, I am just sad 
been doing that for 10 years
this last year it all came alive and inrealized all the wasted time while i couldnhave been dating exploring cities etc
you owe yourself a refreshing life full of sobriety
im starting to see people respect a nondrinker as well
they feel like we know something they dont
we are just keeping away from the darkness that lurks out there when we drink
we cant
others can
we cant anymore
ever?
im not sure
but only you know
it can be good
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 69
Thanks Rosie
Bounced - your link is appreciated..I had no idea about paws.
Soberck1 - Congratulations on your 30/31 days
Everyone - hope you are all having/had a pleasant,safe and sober day...
Very tired tonight
sweetdreams
Bounced - your link is appreciated..I had no idea about paws.
Soberck1 - Congratulations on your 30/31 days
Everyone - hope you are all having/had a pleasant,safe and sober day...
Very tired tonight
sweetdreams
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Spinning happily in my hula hoop
Posts: 2,618
Bunny7 .......My AV actually had the nerve to start talking to me today!!!
..... Its been great all these weeks without that monster voice rambling in my head, but I quickly told 'it' to get lost!!!.....I kicked butt!!...
......Everyone have a great night, off to watch my shows...Raising Hope, New Girl, Ben & Kate, Mindy Project..love shows that make me laugh.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by sober1ck
Sorry seekinga, it can be very frustrating I know. Everyone else _doesn't_ have 1 or 2. The world has lots of people like me, who consider 4 glasses of wine a good start. When I go there, regret is around the corner for something I did or said. Usually, except for when I get away with it, which has always been my "proof" that I can make it work.
Anyway, I do think _today_ that it is easier to stay sober than get sober. Although it's early, a new voice is heard in my head. He says things like "Are ya kidding me?" when I got a mental picture of my picking up vodka at the local convenience store. I only have 30 days, (31 if I make it today) but I don't want to waste another day of my life.
Other days will be a big challenge when AV gets loud, but that's part of why I'm here. Have a good day!
Anyway, I do think _today_ that it is easier to stay sober than get sober. Although it's early, a new voice is heard in my head. He says things like "Are ya kidding me?" when I got a mental picture of my picking up vodka at the local convenience store. I only have 30 days, (31 if I make it today) but I don't want to waste another day of my life.
Other days will be a big challenge when AV gets loud, but that's part of why I'm here. Have a good day!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Illinois
Posts: 397
Originally Posted by Dorris
Alison your doing so well keeping off the ciggies, I quit nearly 7 months ago and it is a real tough thing to do keep it up
Rosie, I'm sorry you're a little "what now?" but at least you have the discipline to read and take care of keeping your recovery alive. Hope I can do that also!
bounced, thanks for the PAWS link!
Alison, thanks for what you said about the relaxation from drinking being an illusion, and also how unlike some diseases, we have choices about how to deal with the problem. It's maddening how drinking is a choice, until the drinking starts. And OMG, I relate to checking the Sent folder and text messages. I don't miss that.
nel, hope your father-in-law is OK!
Carlotta, taxes done already? Good for you. Sounds like you saved yourself in time, can only get "the flu" so many times.
Bunny, me too: very few exceptions, but I really wasn't drinking for the taste of it.
UpForIt, my AV is such a sneak. IRL, no one will drink with me. One danger is, if I walk sober into a liquor store, they'll be glad to exchange cash for poison. They'll even tell me to have a nice day. So sweet!
Hola to blondsober, seekinga, Serenity, yestofreedom, Lindsey, Reeny, half, NewLife and shapeup.
Check in with you tomorrow.
Thanks for your encouragement everyone!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 69
Night night Lunetta - wishing you a peaceful sleep
Just wanted to share - I have found a meeting locally that starts at 12.30 - its the only one that fits in with my schedule!!
Im gonna give it a go today (every wednesday)!!!!! NERVOUS
Blood tests were good - just wanna work on my cholesterol level which is 5.5 - putting that down to all the cream buns and chocie I,ve been devouring since abstenance...
Bounced it was your paws link that made me jump into action - Im busy at work and studying but apart from that I dodge all social events and live in my "safe" bubble with hubby...definately stage 1 im thinking - so my thanks to you again....
catch up with all you luffly peeps later
Just wanted to share - I have found a meeting locally that starts at 12.30 - its the only one that fits in with my schedule!!
Im gonna give it a go today (every wednesday)!!!!! NERVOUS
Blood tests were good - just wanna work on my cholesterol level which is 5.5 - putting that down to all the cream buns and chocie I,ve been devouring since abstenance...
Bounced it was your paws link that made me jump into action - Im busy at work and studying but apart from that I dodge all social events and live in my "safe" bubble with hubby...definately stage 1 im thinking - so my thanks to you again....
catch up with all you luffly peeps later
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Calgary
Posts: 63
Happy Feb to all!
My confession, I had 4 beers for superbowl. It was "planned".
Yes, my sober day count starts over. However on Monday I did not crave another drink. Yesterday I did not hear my AV going wacky, even with a stressed out day at work.
Am I out of the Jan group now?
My confession, I had 4 beers for superbowl. It was "planned".
Yes, my sober day count starts over. However on Monday I did not crave another drink. Yesterday I did not hear my AV going wacky, even with a stressed out day at work.
Am I out of the Jan group now?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Western New York
Posts: 375
Morning everyone. Today is not off to a great start but… here I am on day 20, so I’m keeping that in mind as something to celebrate. That means tomorrow is 3 weeks, and after that it’s only a hop, skip and jump to day 30. Not to get ahead of myself but as stressed as I’m feeling today, I still have no desire to have a drink. I’m just much too aware at this point how much stress it would actually add to my life. It’s never as glamorous as it looks on TV!
I ended up telling my NP about the DWI at my appt last night, and it went fine. I’m not even sure what I was worried about, she’s a professional mental health practitioner, for crying out loud! Just my issues bubbling to the surface about somehow not being good enough or having to please everyone. Tonight I have an appointment with my regular therapist, who’s in the same office, so I will have to do the reveal all over again. I’m a little frustrated because when I went to the office yesterday, they had a sign up saying the office is moving in May. Not impossibly far, but pretty far, like 45 minutes from home. So now I don’t know if I should try and find someone else – it can be so hard to find someone you connect with and I was just getting warmed up with this group.
AND my dog is sick, have to call the vet today and have him taken in. I won’t gross everyone out with the details, but he’s definitely having some “tummy troubles” to put it delicately. My husband seemed upset this morning, he said he was worried about the dog but he seemed more aggravated than worried, which makes me feel like he is just worried about spending the money for the vet. He’s made several comments recently about being worried about money, because everything with the DWI is costing so much, so this just made me feel worse on top of worse. He said it wasn’t about the money, but I don’t know, somehow I always end up making everything about me, at least in my head…
AND I discovered last week that the police department in the town I got arrested in puts their police blotter on Facebook. Looked this morning and I’m on there now, full name, with details about my arrest. So not particularly happy about that. I tried googling myself and it didn’t come up but still, someone with more sophisticated computer skills than me could probably find it. So that was really distressing at 6AM this morning.
YTF – not sure, I don’t use the app, I just use my internet browser on my phone to go to the site, and periodically refresh so new threads come up.
Nel – good for you for telling AV “buh-bye!” I love the Mindy project too! Did you read her book? I actually listened to the audiobook… hilarious!! Good distraction in the car when I’m thinking about how much I want a cigarette…
Shapeup – woohoo on day 31!! Awesome job!
Serenity – enjoy your meeting, let us all know how it goes. I too am definitely living in a safe bubble right now, but at this point that’s ok with me. At some point we’ll feel ready to break out of our comfort zones, but at least for me I know I’m not there yet, and there’s no rush. Priority has to be sobriety and if that means skipping some dangerous social functions for now, so be it. There will be plenty of time for that later on.
9years – you’re still a January-er in my book! The important thing is to get right back to it and look at it as a learning experience. What happened this time that you can change next time, so the temptation doesn’t win out?
That’s my rambling for the day, thanks for listening January friends!
-Alison
I ended up telling my NP about the DWI at my appt last night, and it went fine. I’m not even sure what I was worried about, she’s a professional mental health practitioner, for crying out loud! Just my issues bubbling to the surface about somehow not being good enough or having to please everyone. Tonight I have an appointment with my regular therapist, who’s in the same office, so I will have to do the reveal all over again. I’m a little frustrated because when I went to the office yesterday, they had a sign up saying the office is moving in May. Not impossibly far, but pretty far, like 45 minutes from home. So now I don’t know if I should try and find someone else – it can be so hard to find someone you connect with and I was just getting warmed up with this group.
AND my dog is sick, have to call the vet today and have him taken in. I won’t gross everyone out with the details, but he’s definitely having some “tummy troubles” to put it delicately. My husband seemed upset this morning, he said he was worried about the dog but he seemed more aggravated than worried, which makes me feel like he is just worried about spending the money for the vet. He’s made several comments recently about being worried about money, because everything with the DWI is costing so much, so this just made me feel worse on top of worse. He said it wasn’t about the money, but I don’t know, somehow I always end up making everything about me, at least in my head…
AND I discovered last week that the police department in the town I got arrested in puts their police blotter on Facebook. Looked this morning and I’m on there now, full name, with details about my arrest. So not particularly happy about that. I tried googling myself and it didn’t come up but still, someone with more sophisticated computer skills than me could probably find it. So that was really distressing at 6AM this morning.
YTF – not sure, I don’t use the app, I just use my internet browser on my phone to go to the site, and periodically refresh so new threads come up.
Nel – good for you for telling AV “buh-bye!” I love the Mindy project too! Did you read her book? I actually listened to the audiobook… hilarious!! Good distraction in the car when I’m thinking about how much I want a cigarette…
Shapeup – woohoo on day 31!! Awesome job!
Serenity – enjoy your meeting, let us all know how it goes. I too am definitely living in a safe bubble right now, but at this point that’s ok with me. At some point we’ll feel ready to break out of our comfort zones, but at least for me I know I’m not there yet, and there’s no rush. Priority has to be sobriety and if that means skipping some dangerous social functions for now, so be it. There will be plenty of time for that later on.
9years – you’re still a January-er in my book! The important thing is to get right back to it and look at it as a learning experience. What happened this time that you can change next time, so the temptation doesn’t win out?
That’s my rambling for the day, thanks for listening January friends!
-Alison
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 442
good morning class. on day 17 today and things are starting to feel normal which is good and bad. Bad b/c I don't want to get complacent and let the AV start it's sales job.
9years: I have very much confidence in this class but it would probably be a miracle if all who started in January never slipped up. There will be some of us that do - I did 3x in January. As long as you get back on the wagon, one can stay in the class (and who made me in charge?)....I guess if someone gave in and went back to their old ways for a long while they probably just shouldn't pop into an old class - not that I wouldn't be welcoming if they did.
as I'm feeling better and slowly getting the alcohol out of my system (it's more of a mental game at this point) I will need to face the demons of the past and come forward with some of the awful things I did to people - most of them have no clue I did harmful things but I know. Anyone else go through this? When did you confess? Or, are there some things that may be too hurtful to someone you just never say???
Stay strong and sober.
9years: I have very much confidence in this class but it would probably be a miracle if all who started in January never slipped up. There will be some of us that do - I did 3x in January. As long as you get back on the wagon, one can stay in the class (and who made me in charge?)....I guess if someone gave in and went back to their old ways for a long while they probably just shouldn't pop into an old class - not that I wouldn't be welcoming if they did.
as I'm feeling better and slowly getting the alcohol out of my system (it's more of a mental game at this point) I will need to face the demons of the past and come forward with some of the awful things I did to people - most of them have no clue I did harmful things but I know. Anyone else go through this? When did you confess? Or, are there some things that may be too hurtful to someone you just never say???
Stay strong and sober.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: SE U.S.
Posts: 272
Originally Posted by yestofreedom
how do you see new threads on the iphone app.
i have to post on laptop in order to start in phone.
anyway. thanks
i have to post on laptop in order to start in phone.
anyway. thanks
I can't get the app to work on my iPad either. It won't let me sign in.
Day 25 and all is well.
Have a great day.
W
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Spinning happily in my hula hoop
Posts: 2,618
Originally Posted by 9yearsgone
Happy Feb to all!
My confession, I had 4 beers for superbowl. It was "planned".
Yes, my sober day count starts over. However on Monday I did not crave another drink. Yesterday I did not hear my AV going wacky, even with a stressed out day at work.
Am I out of the Jan group now?
My confession, I had 4 beers for superbowl. It was "planned".
Yes, my sober day count starts over. However on Monday I did not crave another drink. Yesterday I did not hear my AV going wacky, even with a stressed out day at work.
Am I out of the Jan group now?
....Good morning all, a quick check in, I slept in!!!... In need of coffee (saying in zombie voice)
..lol....... Hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday, will check in later on
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA
Posts: 349
Day 8 here (2nd Day 8) . . . keeping busy seems the best cure.
9Years - hey, if I'm still in you are too! Like Halfvictory said . . . it's the progress that matters. I've not had drinks of any kind 25 out of the last 37 days. That's huge!
Allison - when hubbie worries about the money remind him how much you're saving not drinking? But do have an upper limit on what you'll spend to save your loved animal.
Also - those DWI publications are everywhere, I was worried about the same thing. So rude they would put them on FaceBook. I'm boycotting FB now! But the reality is there are so many these days that it would be a full time job for anyone to keep up with them, meaning the chance of anyone seeing your is pretty small. Nobody ever found out about mine . . .
Dorris - hugs
Serenity - enjoy the meeting, it will be fun!
9Years - hey, if I'm still in you are too! Like Halfvictory said . . . it's the progress that matters. I've not had drinks of any kind 25 out of the last 37 days. That's huge!
Allison - when hubbie worries about the money remind him how much you're saving not drinking? But do have an upper limit on what you'll spend to save your loved animal.
Also - those DWI publications are everywhere, I was worried about the same thing. So rude they would put them on FaceBook. I'm boycotting FB now! But the reality is there are so many these days that it would be a full time job for anyone to keep up with them, meaning the chance of anyone seeing your is pretty small. Nobody ever found out about mine . . .
Dorris - hugs
Serenity - enjoy the meeting, it will be fun!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Illinois
Posts: 397
Originally Posted by woodhead
YTF,
I can't get the app to work on my iPad either. It won't let me sign in.
Day 25 and all is well.
Have a great day.
W
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