Class Of October 2012
MTN
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 9
Hi, day 2 for me, doing ok at moment as I am
still hungover and full of remorse from a huge binge
on Friday. But when the weekend rolls
around again and the shame has faded I will struggle. I have been
drinking myself into oblivion every weekend since I was 17, I
am now 30 and tired of the hangovers, regret and being laughed at. I
want to change, but honestly a life without alcohol seems scary
and alien.
still hungover and full of remorse from a huge binge
on Friday. But when the weekend rolls
around again and the shame has faded I will struggle. I have been
drinking myself into oblivion every weekend since I was 17, I
am now 30 and tired of the hangovers, regret and being laughed at. I
want to change, but honestly a life without alcohol seems scary
and alien.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
welcome Lucy,
your story is similar to mine although I'm 38. I've spent the last 20 or so years drinking too much and waking with regrets. What's funny at 20 just makes us look stupid as we get older. the damage to looks and weight has really become apparent to me recently,horrifyingly so. Iwish I'd had the sense to stop at 30. For me,a life without alcohol is a life with hope and a healthy future. welcome to the class.
your story is similar to mine although I'm 38. I've spent the last 20 or so years drinking too much and waking with regrets. What's funny at 20 just makes us look stupid as we get older. the damage to looks and weight has really become apparent to me recently,horrifyingly so. Iwish I'd had the sense to stop at 30. For me,a life without alcohol is a life with hope and a healthy future. welcome to the class.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: England
Posts: 405
Hey MisterRitter,
Your post stands out for me, I think I am sharing some of the same feelings as you here. For me, looking back I think drinking caused lots of problems within my relationship and I can only see that in hindsight. Although, I think drinking has been the root cause of the the unfortunate circumstances as to where I find myslef now, and so for me it is my main problem.
I definately think drinking and depression are coupled with each other. It's not an easy time to stop like you say, but I don't think the time willl ever be just right you know?. I have told myself too that I can't live with drink and cant live without it at the moment. But I am having faith in what others have told me here that it gets better.
It's good to have you here MisterRitter
Tinkanman, It sounds like you are doing really well my friend, I agree about the selfishness us drinkers have, I put so much energy into thinking about when I am going to drink or having a drink in my hand I'm sometimes oblivious to what is going on around me.
Justhadenough. Sleep yes. Stick with it I hope improves for you soon I have found reading until my eyes grow heavy into the early hours of the morning helps keep my mind occupied off of not being asleep! I' a little weary the next day - but the abscence of hangover so worth it.
MTN
I'm sorry about the bad news. I'm glad you posted and that you have returned. I need a strong women in my life, who else will kick my arse when I am riding out an urge?
Welcom alloy, and thanks for the kind wishes EternalQ and nonblondechef.
Enjoy your Sunday everyone. Day ten here, double digits, the lovely and round number ten. I wonder if it feels like that after ten months?
Originally Posted by misterritter 
Drinking probably isn't the biggest problem I am dealing with.
through this shock and therapy I have seen how my actions and inactions, as well as hers, led us to the point where she asked for a separation
Through therapy I have begun to see worsening depression over the last decade or so.
Maybe this isn't the best (easiest) time to quit drinking but I know its wrapped up in the depression somehow, and it definitely didn't help, but most likely hurt my marriage as well.
through this shock and therapy I have seen how my actions and inactions, as well as hers, led us to the point where she asked for a separation
Through therapy I have begun to see worsening depression over the last decade or so.
Maybe this isn't the best (easiest) time to quit drinking but I know its wrapped up in the depression somehow, and it definitely didn't help, but most likely hurt my marriage as well.
I definately think drinking and depression are coupled with each other. It's not an easy time to stop like you say, but I don't think the time willl ever be just right you know?. I have told myself too that I can't live with drink and cant live without it at the moment. But I am having faith in what others have told me here that it gets better.
It's good to have you here MisterRitter
Tinkanman, It sounds like you are doing really well my friend, I agree about the selfishness us drinkers have, I put so much energy into thinking about when I am going to drink or having a drink in my hand I'm sometimes oblivious to what is going on around me.
Justhadenough. Sleep yes. Stick with it I hope improves for you soon
I have found reading until my eyes grow heavy into the early hours of the morning helps keep my mind occupied off of not being asleep! I' a little weary the next day - but the abscence of hangover so worth it.MTN
I'm sorry about the bad news. I'm glad you posted and that you have returned. I need a strong women in my life, who else will kick my arse when I am riding out an urge?Welcom alloy, and thanks for the kind wishes EternalQ and nonblondechef.
Enjoy your Sunday everyone. Day ten here, double digits, the lovely and round number ten. I wonder if it feels like that after ten months?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 458
Happy Sunday all. Welcome to all the new folks. Last night was rough but I made it, sober today thank goodness.
Couldn't agree more. When I stopped drinking for a period of time my depression lifted after the first couple weeks. But everyone is different and I would definitely recommend seeing a dr.
MTN - Don't beat yourself up. I can only speak from my experiance but when I did have one or two, and things went fine it started the whole crazy mental cycle again of "oh I can drink normally" just to fall back into my old patterns after several weeks. Ah but it sounds like you that
, but I need to remind myself 
Originally Posted by JimJim
I definately think drinking and depression are coupled with each other.
MTN - Don't beat yourself up. I can only speak from my experiance but when I did have one or two, and things went fine it started the whole crazy mental cycle again of "oh I can drink normally" just to fall back into my old patterns after several weeks. Ah but it sounds like you that
, but I need to remind myself 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by justhadenough
welcome Lucy,
your story is similar to mine although I'm 38. I've spent the last 20 or so years drinking too much and waking with regrets. What's funny at 20 just makes us look stupid as we get older. the damage to looks and weight has really become apparent to me recently,horrifyingly so. Iwish I'd had the sense to stop at 30. For me,a life without alcohol is a life with hope and a healthy future. welcome to the class.
your story is similar to mine although I'm 38. I've spent the last 20 or so years drinking too much and waking with regrets. What's funny at 20 just makes us look stupid as we get older. the damage to looks and weight has really become apparent to me recently,horrifyingly so. Iwish I'd had the sense to stop at 30. For me,a life without alcohol is a life with hope and a healthy future. welcome to the class.
Fast forward 10 years, I feel like I've become hardened, have far less quality of relationships, and my work-ethic and drive have greatly suffered. This is part due to alcohol, and part due to learning some difficult life lessons. But I know that drinking isn't doing anything positive for me, and I am tired of becoming a person I don't like when I get drunk at the bar.
Just had to vent some stuff... I appreciate you all. Best wished with everyone's sobriety. I am excited for it, and if I fall, I will get right back up and keep fighting the good fight.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 1,052
Originally Posted by Welcomingthenew
I am also on my 7th day MTN, how exactly do I "join" this thread please? I am new to this and trying to learn how to navigate around this site. :-)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Florida US
Posts: 296
One week today. No desires or cravings. A thought or 2 about the good and fun part of drinking have crossed my mind during this week of sobriety. Funny how the not so good thoughts don't come to mind without an effort to recall them. The good ones just pop into my head spontaneously. No effort needed to recall those. What a sneaky problem this addiction is.
I am feeling good but know that I have to return to healthy eating and exercising real soon to give sobriety a greater chance to stick. It has been my experience that when one area of my life is off, the ones that aren't are affected.
To everyone who is trying to stay sober, it is totally possible. My relapses have been so preventable. Sobriety is possible is we use the tools we know work for us. Finding out what those tools are is crucial.
Best wishes everyone.
Natalie
I am feeling good but know that I have to return to healthy eating and exercising real soon to give sobriety a greater chance to stick. It has been my experience that when one area of my life is off, the ones that aren't are affected.
To everyone who is trying to stay sober, it is totally possible. My relapses have been so preventable. Sobriety is possible is we use the tools we know work for us. Finding out what those tools are is crucial.
Best wishes everyone.
Natalie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Scottsboro, AL.
Posts: 81
I suffer with mild depression. I am on day 2 and my depression is very extreme. I do not know how my wife feels about me right now and I am to scared to ask. I fight back tears as I watch my 6 year old Girl and 3 year old boy play. I am a mess right now. I know that the longer I feel this pain the more likely I will remember that I am in fact alcoholic. I can not expect different results ever again because it will not be differant. I stayed sober for 5 or 6 years when I got involved in Church. I simply had no cravings.... I truly believe the Lord took them from me.*
I talked myself into believing that I was not alcoholic and I needed a little alcohol in my life to loosen myself up.*
My wife is not alcoholic so we enjoyed social drinking. I started drinking at home a lot. I hid the amount I drank from my wife and I would flat out lie is she asked me about it. Lying became so easy for me when I was drinking. I would sneek out of the house to drink, etc.*
The day after I would always be a little depresses and anxious. If things were ok at home I would start drinking that night. *Wow that made me feel so much better (tempararily) and the lying would start back up. The things I would do and lie about got worse and worse.*
Today I am not sure if my wife is willing to stay with me or not. I can't stand the thought of being away from her and my children. I am so depressed and misserable right now.*
On one hand I cant wait for it to pass and on the other I am so ready to quit that I welcome the pain as a little insurance that I will not ever want to feel this way again.*
The hard part will be fighting off the voice in my head hat tells me that I am not really alcoholic and I can control it if I want to. I have given in to that line of crap several times.*
I hope and pray this time is differant.*
How will I feel if my wife wraps her loving arms around me?*
Will I have the nerve to drink again?
What if she leave me?*
Will I drink to wash away the pain?
I feel confident that I am finished with alcohol.... But then again I have felt that way before.*
God bless the class of October!
I talked myself into believing that I was not alcoholic and I needed a little alcohol in my life to loosen myself up.*
My wife is not alcoholic so we enjoyed social drinking. I started drinking at home a lot. I hid the amount I drank from my wife and I would flat out lie is she asked me about it. Lying became so easy for me when I was drinking. I would sneek out of the house to drink, etc.*
The day after I would always be a little depresses and anxious. If things were ok at home I would start drinking that night. *Wow that made me feel so much better (tempararily) and the lying would start back up. The things I would do and lie about got worse and worse.*
Today I am not sure if my wife is willing to stay with me or not. I can't stand the thought of being away from her and my children. I am so depressed and misserable right now.*
On one hand I cant wait for it to pass and on the other I am so ready to quit that I welcome the pain as a little insurance that I will not ever want to feel this way again.*
The hard part will be fighting off the voice in my head hat tells me that I am not really alcoholic and I can control it if I want to. I have given in to that line of crap several times.*
I hope and pray this time is differant.*
How will I feel if my wife wraps her loving arms around me?*
Will I have the nerve to drink again?
What if she leave me?*
Will I drink to wash away the pain?
I feel confident that I am finished with alcohol.... But then again I have felt that way before.*
God bless the class of October!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: deep south
Posts: 58
hang in there lying dog. we're all in the same boat, just a little different seat. try not to worry about the future drinking. that is always a downer. focus on this day. love those children and be honest with your wife. it's gonna get better
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Framingham ma
Posts: 15
I slipped last night. Made it all day and put the kids to bed after a long day at the fair ( which I was trashed at last year) and said I "deserve" a drink. My bf drinks only on Saturdays and he doesn't know how bad I am singe didn't think twice to buying a bottle. I'm thinking I need to tell him now but feel bad that he can't drink and relax in his only day off because of me. But I am still positive. I'm starting day 1 again but I'm starting it knowing I can over come many obstacles now. This last sober 7 days I loved myself and today I'm not goin to let that go. Yes I slipped but imagine if I never stopped at all. I will continue with my sobriety and every sober day is a positive and I'm not going to let myself get into a rut because of one messed up day.
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