Class of May 2012 part 11
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Saskia-thanks for your post. A reminder to us all that this really is a life or death choice for us. Please take really good care of yourself, you are very important to us all xx
I have spent today with police scene of crime officers and arranging emergency boarding up of my parents window. It looks like criminal damage but nothing appears to have been taken. It was kinda sad to be in my parents house. Evidence of their self-medicating lifestyle everywhere. Bottles and packets of pills both sides of their bed, and even stuffed down the sides of the chairs they sit on. 6 bottles of cough medicine, all opened (?), by the couch, empty bottles of drink strewn around. It is amazing how at one time I would have hardly noticed this. How my life has changed.
I feel a deep sense of sorrow at the way they live. And helpless too that they accept this as the norm and can't see a life beyond it.
Am off to babysit for my sister tonight. My nieces are 4 and 1 years old. Beautiful girls. It will be lovely to do the story reading and cuddling them into bed routine for them. Im so tired I may drift off to sleep with them!
Schoolwork all day tomorrow. I should have done some today but events sort of took over.
Although today felt sad, I also felt happy that I was able to do something to help them. If I can't make them better, I can at least make things easier and simpler for them. I feel a sense of pity for them now rather than fear or anxiety. Not sure if that's progress, but it's a shift in thinking that's for sure.
Love you all loads xxx
I have spent today with police scene of crime officers and arranging emergency boarding up of my parents window. It looks like criminal damage but nothing appears to have been taken. It was kinda sad to be in my parents house. Evidence of their self-medicating lifestyle everywhere. Bottles and packets of pills both sides of their bed, and even stuffed down the sides of the chairs they sit on. 6 bottles of cough medicine, all opened (?), by the couch, empty bottles of drink strewn around. It is amazing how at one time I would have hardly noticed this. How my life has changed.
I feel a deep sense of sorrow at the way they live. And helpless too that they accept this as the norm and can't see a life beyond it.
Am off to babysit for my sister tonight. My nieces are 4 and 1 years old. Beautiful girls. It will be lovely to do the story reading and cuddling them into bed routine for them. Im so tired I may drift off to sleep with them!
Schoolwork all day tomorrow. I should have done some today but events sort of took over.
Although today felt sad, I also felt happy that I was able to do something to help them. If I can't make them better, I can at least make things easier and simpler for them. I feel a sense of pity for them now rather than fear or anxiety. Not sure if that's progress, but it's a shift in thinking that's for sure.
Love you all loads xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I hope whatever the cause, it's proves to be a simple matter to fix Saskia 
D
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Tanja, you sound great! "Pack leader in training" sounds good to me :-)
Jeni, pity instead of fear and anxiety toward your parents sounds like a positive shift. To me it indicates some healthy separation going on while leaving open the possibility of contact when you feel up to it without feeling overcome by old stuff. I hope you have a chance for some renewing R&R this weekend. As Emily would say, please be gentle with yourself. Xx
Pink, I like your reference to Pinkland. That conjures up an involuntary image of a pink house with pink walls, pink drapes, pink furniture -- oh my
Yes, those cravings do still exist at times but I think that the longer we go generally the easier they are to resist. There are sometimes especially difficult times and so it helps to have a set of "tools" to help us through these times. This could include specific books, regular AA meetings, coming back to SR, a list of coping ideas to keep handy, avoiding situations where we think we are likely to be more tempted, etc.
Jeni, pity instead of fear and anxiety toward your parents sounds like a positive shift. To me it indicates some healthy separation going on while leaving open the possibility of contact when you feel up to it without feeling overcome by old stuff. I hope you have a chance for some renewing R&R this weekend. As Emily would say, please be gentle with yourself. Xx
Pink, I like your reference to Pinkland. That conjures up an involuntary image of a pink house with pink walls, pink drapes, pink furniture -- oh my
Yes, those cravings do still exist at times but I think that the longer we go generally the easier they are to resist. There are sometimes especially difficult times and so it helps to have a set of "tools" to help us through these times. This could include specific books, regular AA meetings, coming back to SR, a list of coping ideas to keep handy, avoiding situations where we think we are likely to be more tempted, etc.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 137
Yes, Saskia, such sage advice as always. I had recently had an argument with my husband. Past coping mechanism for feeling icky after an argument…lot’s of alcohol.
I do need to keep that tool belt strapped on, stocked up and ready to use!
I do need to keep that tool belt strapped on, stocked up and ready to use!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 137
Jeni, I wonder if the shift in the way you feel towards your parents is because you have been able to find your sober self without feeling like you have abandoned or lost your parents. You are able to continue to be their beloved daughter, and they your beloved parents, even as the new sober and stronger you.
Edited: just read your other post regarding your shift in thinking…maybe beloved is too strong a word
Edited: just read your other post regarding your shift in thinking…maybe beloved is too strong a word
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
I think I always wanted to love them, but was scared of being rejected. Now I can see them for what they truly are. My dad isn't that monster I thought he was. He is desperately ill, they both are. I can't fix them, but it isn't about me any more. It's about them. If I can help make their lives a little easier, if I can show them respect and bring some happiness into their lives, then I will.
I think I've been trapped in the past.
I think I've been trapped in the past.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Day 69/25 and it's been a fairly good day apart from my brain having trouble with the coffee pot. Or rather the coffee pot being cracked and leaking. Game went well this afternoon, even if I did find the whole 'thirst' part a little too close to home. But then that's Vampire for you. Not sure which side of things my character will end up on, but that's ok. I'll be writing it up later, which will be fun.
Pink - glad to hear from you, glad that you're feeling positive.
Jeni - that's the worst thing about insomnia, it doesn't care how tired you are. Indeed, it can be worse when you're tired. And I know how you feel about work taking over your life, even though its been a while since I was in that position.
Sorry to hear about what's happened at your parents' house. You seem to have handled it really well, so congrats on that.
wehav2day - well done for the hiking. And congrats on 123 days.
FindingSoleil, Tanja - good to hear from you.
Saskia - good luck with the doctors. Hope the pain gets better soon. Congrats on 6 days.
As for me and codeine, if I knew I wouldn't get caught... then I would probably be back on it. But the truth is that my fiance would know that I'd been using again. And that would not be good. But I quit. No matter how reluctantly it was, I quit. And I'm choosing life, if not the big ****ing television.
The pain in my leg is now in both... not hips exactly, but that sort of area. Will call in at the doctor's on Monday. Other than that, I'm ok. Feeling reasonably cheerful.
Good night everyone and sleep well.
Love and Hugs to you all, and may your higher power go with you.
Pink - glad to hear from you, glad that you're feeling positive.
Jeni - that's the worst thing about insomnia, it doesn't care how tired you are. Indeed, it can be worse when you're tired. And I know how you feel about work taking over your life, even though its been a while since I was in that position.
Sorry to hear about what's happened at your parents' house. You seem to have handled it really well, so congrats on that.
wehav2day - well done for the hiking. And congrats on 123 days.
FindingSoleil, Tanja - good to hear from you.
Saskia - good luck with the doctors. Hope the pain gets better soon. Congrats on 6 days.
As for me and codeine, if I knew I wouldn't get caught... then I would probably be back on it. But the truth is that my fiance would know that I'd been using again. And that would not be good. But I quit. No matter how reluctantly it was, I quit. And I'm choosing life, if not the big ****ing television.
The pain in my leg is now in both... not hips exactly, but that sort of area. Will call in at the doctor's on Monday. Other than that, I'm ok. Feeling reasonably cheerful.
Good night everyone and sleep well.
Love and Hugs to you all, and may your higher power go with you.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
HRB hope you can find some time to hydrate and rest so you feel better soon!
Jeni how eye opening it must have been to see the evidence of your parents misuse of medications and alcohol sober. Nice realization that you can help them in some ways but not others, if hey are not ready. Find some time to spray some tropical body spray, close your eyes, an pretend you're on a tropical island. Sounds silly but it helps me. It's like meditation with scent!
Saskia hope you find out soon your pain is nothing too serious but keep the fear that it could be alcohol related to keep you away from the poison. You're sounding good.
Deserto although the rapping back and forth makes me smile, don't hesitate to throw out some non-rhyming verse. We all care about you and eat up any words you send our way.
FP you may need to be the resident rapper. No more slap downs but I'm sure you could come up with some Mayan-themed raps about all our boaters. That will keep your brain sharp until the next challenger comes to our gates. When is your surgery? You're in my thoughts.
Jeni how eye opening it must have been to see the evidence of your parents misuse of medications and alcohol sober. Nice realization that you can help them in some ways but not others, if hey are not ready. Find some time to spray some tropical body spray, close your eyes, an pretend you're on a tropical island. Sounds silly but it helps me. It's like meditation with scent!
Saskia hope you find out soon your pain is nothing too serious but keep the fear that it could be alcohol related to keep you away from the poison. You're sounding good.
Deserto although the rapping back and forth makes me smile, don't hesitate to throw out some non-rhyming verse. We all care about you and eat up any words you send our way.
FP you may need to be the resident rapper. No more slap downs but I'm sure you could come up with some Mayan-themed raps about all our boaters. That will keep your brain sharp until the next challenger comes to our gates. When is your surgery? You're in my thoughts.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Jeni, I hope you realize how big a shift you just made today! I think that will make a huge difference for you. Xx
Emily, you are sounding good - other than the pain. It sounds like we both need to get past our respective physical problems. My doctor's appointment is Tuesday.
Really excellent thoughts, OLL!
Good night, all!
Sassy, sober Saskia!
Emily, you are sounding good - other than the pain. It sounds like we both need to get past our respective physical problems. My doctor's appointment is Tuesday.
Really excellent thoughts, OLL!
Good night, all!
Sassy, sober Saskia!
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Good Saturday evening, beautiful boaters! A whopping day 140 for the ex-drunk Pink Punk. I hope everyone is doing well in sobriety this weekend. If you’re struggling, however, keep with us, keep posting, and stay strong. We’re all in this together.
I’m trying to stay calm, look ahead, put things into perspective, and most of all not freak out during this week of facing the frightening, ferocious, yet venerable, robot. I hear he has a taste for poetic Pachs, so I’m runnin’ skeert.
Flock Block Dweller: Thank you for your PM, sober buddy. I am ever grateful that our friendship is strong enough to endure all that’s topsy turvy and still right itself every time. Remember that you have a fiercely loyal and loving Mammoth in your corner, my unparalleled partner in prose and poetry, now and always.
You-Rock: Thank you for all of your terrific posts of heartfelt advice to our boaters and to me, my cherished PM buddy. Awesome advice to OneLess about family struggles. I hope you’re kicking that cold to the curb, too.
iPad G-ma: Woo, hoo on your 6 hard-won, hard-earned, big fat sober days! Nice accomplishment and sounds like you’re trucking along on the right path. Hope you’re feeling better pain-wise, too.
(((OneLess))): Big hugs to you, sobermate. I do hope things have worked out for the better in your family, or at least calmed down a bit. Excellent job on remaining sober. “I say screw that.” Love this versatile phrase. Thank you for your kind thoughts, too.
Pink in a poke buddy: Happy to hear that all is well in Pinkland. Awesome that you overcame such strong urges. I still get them, too, but if I wait them out they usually disappear. Love to you!
Teacher Jeni: Thank you for all the love you give to our classmates and to me. You even sneak time in while you’re at work to help others. Hope you were able to get some much-needed rest. Top notch job on beating down those booze urges. Best of luck in dealing with the break in and aftermath of your parents’ house. I read your newcomer’s post, too. Big hugs to you!
Dee: “HRB...take care of yourself dammit” I’m digging the tough love to our respected and beloved boater. Thank you for all of your advice to our classmates, sobermate.
Emily: Congrats on your incredible 69/25 double-quit! You continue to inspire me, classmate. So glad to hear that you have a proper bed to sleep in now. “No matter how reluctantly it was, I quit.” Excellent resolve. I sometimes feel the same way about the reluctance, but my quit is in full swing now. I hope your pain subsides. Good luck at the doctor’s. Hugs to you!
KittyCat: Thinking of you, girlfriend. How are you doing in your sober quest?
Tanja: Big thumbs up again on your 60+ awesome days, pack leader extraordinaire! Great advice to our boaters. Hope all is well at home and in training Peyton.
WeHav: Congrats again on your 120+! “As always, your artwork ROCKS!!!” I wish I could take art credit, but they’re all someone else’s I found online. Thank you for all of your wonderful and uplifting advice to our boaters. Glad to see you posting with us more. Hugs to you!
Soleil: Always love it when you pop in for a visit, girlfriend. I hope all is well and that you’re finding more time to relax and enjoy life away from work.
Hoosiervet: How are you doing, classmate? Glad our classmates’ information on PAWS was useful for you. Hope to hear from you again soon.
Uninvited and IllNeverTell: I saw both of you lurking earlier today. Get back in here, classmates! We miss you!
Past time for bed, May mates. It’s nice to get back in the mix with all of you in post again, though. Enjoy your Sunday in sober solace. Love and hugs to all.
I’m trying to stay calm, look ahead, put things into perspective, and most of all not freak out during this week of facing the frightening, ferocious, yet venerable, robot. I hear he has a taste for poetic Pachs, so I’m runnin’ skeert.
Flock Block Dweller: Thank you for your PM, sober buddy. I am ever grateful that our friendship is strong enough to endure all that’s topsy turvy and still right itself every time. Remember that you have a fiercely loyal and loving Mammoth in your corner, my unparalleled partner in prose and poetry, now and always.
You-Rock: Thank you for all of your terrific posts of heartfelt advice to our boaters and to me, my cherished PM buddy. Awesome advice to OneLess about family struggles. I hope you’re kicking that cold to the curb, too.
iPad G-ma: Woo, hoo on your 6 hard-won, hard-earned, big fat sober days! Nice accomplishment and sounds like you’re trucking along on the right path. Hope you’re feeling better pain-wise, too.
(((OneLess))): Big hugs to you, sobermate. I do hope things have worked out for the better in your family, or at least calmed down a bit. Excellent job on remaining sober. “I say screw that.” Love this versatile phrase. Thank you for your kind thoughts, too.
Pink in a poke buddy: Happy to hear that all is well in Pinkland. Awesome that you overcame such strong urges. I still get them, too, but if I wait them out they usually disappear. Love to you!
Teacher Jeni: Thank you for all the love you give to our classmates and to me. You even sneak time in while you’re at work to help others. Hope you were able to get some much-needed rest. Top notch job on beating down those booze urges. Best of luck in dealing with the break in and aftermath of your parents’ house. I read your newcomer’s post, too. Big hugs to you!
Dee: “HRB...take care of yourself dammit” I’m digging the tough love to our respected and beloved boater. Thank you for all of your advice to our classmates, sobermate.
Emily: Congrats on your incredible 69/25 double-quit! You continue to inspire me, classmate. So glad to hear that you have a proper bed to sleep in now. “No matter how reluctantly it was, I quit.” Excellent resolve. I sometimes feel the same way about the reluctance, but my quit is in full swing now. I hope your pain subsides. Good luck at the doctor’s. Hugs to you!
KittyCat: Thinking of you, girlfriend. How are you doing in your sober quest?
Tanja: Big thumbs up again on your 60+ awesome days, pack leader extraordinaire! Great advice to our boaters. Hope all is well at home and in training Peyton.
WeHav: Congrats again on your 120+! “As always, your artwork ROCKS!!!” I wish I could take art credit, but they’re all someone else’s I found online. Thank you for all of your wonderful and uplifting advice to our boaters. Glad to see you posting with us more. Hugs to you!
Soleil: Always love it when you pop in for a visit, girlfriend. I hope all is well and that you’re finding more time to relax and enjoy life away from work.
Hoosiervet: How are you doing, classmate? Glad our classmates’ information on PAWS was useful for you. Hope to hear from you again soon.
Uninvited and IllNeverTell: I saw both of you lurking earlier today. Get back in here, classmates! We miss you!
Past time for bed, May mates. It’s nice to get back in the mix with all of you in post again, though. Enjoy your Sunday in sober solace. Love and hugs to all.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 63
Hi Dee, Just noticed it's almost time for a new Class o' May thread...you could move it now while no one else is around maybe? Hopefully Jeni's finally getting some much deserved sleep, Emily is enjoying her new bed, the Americans are asleep early or busy doing important things. I've never even been close to shotgunning a new thread...it'd be a nice start to the week for me. What'da say?
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
LOL as I'm leaving anyway...
we continue here...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-12-a.html
D
we continue here...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-12-a.html
D
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