Dee74

We continue from here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-11-a-20.html

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FindingSoleil

Shotgun!!

Dee, you're the best!!!

Dee74

Have a good day FS!

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Jeni26

Honestly I turn my back for 5 minutes .........!

Dee74

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Saskia

Good for you, Soleil!

Good morning boaters,

Day 7 here! I was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to make it :-).

Have a good say, all!

Dee74

Congratulations Saskia

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tanja

Good Morning Everyone,

FP - Sending prayers your way on your upcoming procedure. Thank you for you constant love, wit, wisdom and kindness.

Saskia - Congratulations on one week sober7 I have probably said it before, but I will say it again - You are far stronger than you realize. Believe it - be it

I had a bizarre situation yesterday. My husband and I went out around noon to go the bank, but it was closed. I have become addicted to Starbucks non-decaf latte. So, I picked up a cup. I then saw the health food store and wanted to pick up some glutamine. It is supposed to help with alcohol and sugar cravings. My sugar consumption is a lot more than I would like at this point, but I cannot seem to help myself. The ABC store is right next to the health food store. My hijacked brain had a crazy thought! "Wouldn't it be nice to put some liquor in my coffee!" Crazy because I didn't drink liquor and I never frequented a liquor store. Beer was what I drank. I just basically threw the thought out because it was so ridiculous. I also thought about how really awful it would be. Feeling that disgusting wooziness. I didn't want it all.

I appreciate so much the experiences of those that have greater periods of sobriety than me. I think it is so important to know what to expect. That these cravings will pop up even after 4 months or more of sobriety. I had read somewhere that after 30 days, you should examine the underlyg reasons for the cravings. I think that is a good tip, but it also seems that they can come out of nowhere. It takes time for the brain to heal.

Hope everyone has a wonderful sunday

Jeni26

Well done Sas!! I know how significant that is for you. Really pleased and happy for you xxx

Jeni26

Nice to hear from you tanja. I'm finding that I'm not actually craving at all, it is the bizarre thoughts that pop up from time to time. Just like your liquor coffee really. When it was raining the other day, I had a brief vision of sitting in a country pub by an open fire drinking rum! I never drank that. Very odd.
At the moment I'm sitting on the computer preparing a presentation that I've got to give on Tuesday. Gulp! I'm not looking forward to that at all!
FP-thinking of you lots my friend xxx

Leemzer

Hey everyone!!!!!!
I have not checked in in so long. Today is 45 days for me being sober again! Things have just gone so well, but I have found for me it is a big hindrance for me to constantly think about being sober. So I have stayed away for a bit but I miss you guys, so HEY! Much love to everyone. Keep fighting the fight. I shall return!

Lee

Uninvited

I'm sorry to say I slipped for a month after 100 days sobriety, so I'm only on day 2 again. It's depressing but it means I've been sober for 102 days out of the last 132 days, which is more than I can say about the last decade.

It wasn't one drink that led me into temptation. I just decided I was going to go hog wild with drinks for a while, and perhaps get sober again in a few days or a week. Here I am a month later pulling myself back out again. It's incredible how quickly the pyhsical changes came back on again. All those changes that took decades to build up (bloated red face, blurry eyes, etc.), are all back again in full force. I guess it's age and the damage I've done to my liver.

On one hand it's good because I am way too good at hiding my drinking from everybody, but I can't hide a red face. Nobody says anything about it but I notice it, and I start to notice all the other red faces at work. Are they all drunks? Do they know I am? It's so embarrassing. I'm not sure I would be back again this soon if it wasn't for that. And, honestly, it was one of the primary motivating factors for me the last time too.

Don't get me wrong. It's not like I don't have other consequences from drinking. And the red face is not about vanity, but it's just something I have no way of hiding. Except maybe makeup and I'm a guy so I'm not going there.

It was a tough night last night because I couldn't sleep. I didn't have any trouble sleeping on my first go round with sobriety. One of my dogs couldn't get comfortable and kept pacing the room. Which probably would have been fine if it wasn't my first night of sobriety. I really didn't sleep at all. Just layed there for 8 hours. I got to go to work tomorrow so I'm hoping tonight is better.

I think I need to stay away from a certain kind of video game because the release of a new one seems to be a big trigger for me. It's not the only reason I fell off the wagon, but it really didn't help.

I'm probably going to join the class of October too and pop back in here from time to time to see how things are going. I need some other people on week 1 again.

Leemzer

So sorry to hear Uninvited but you are back. I had a real struggle after 70 days of sobriety and I kicked my own ass for weeks and weeks. Please don't do that to yourself. This is tough, and I don't think enough people talk about how tough it is when the reality of the not-so-easy sober world kicks in around day 100 or so....when the bells and whistles are over and it is like "OK, so now what?" This is one reason I am considering a support group at least occasionally. I don't think we all talk enough about the troubles with STAYING sober on here. Those 30 60 90 day milestones are so huge...but then there is life. Glad you are back. Keep posting. Take care, Lee

Leemzer

SO proud of you. NOBODY has worked harder than you for this. Keep it up, lady!!!!!!! Big, big hugs.

Lee

Jeni26

Hey, uninvited, so good to hear from you and sorry to hear of your slip. Remember, this isn't a race,there is no finish line. This is a lifelong journey for all of us, and we are here to support each other regardless xx. Plenty here have slipped, or felt close to it. There is no shame.
Those 100 days are not lost.
Great to have you back x

Soberjanedoe

Hi guys, sorry for the absence.

1 week sober today. I'm taking things 1 day at a time now instead of focusing on the milestones.

I'm trying to work on confronting the reasons why I drink instead of the drinking itself. I'm seeking help now through my previously discarded faith and I've started to read my bible again and listening to church sermons online which I'm feeling good about.

I've had a personal realisation I still carry around resent and unforgiveness to people from certain events in the past. I'm working through those memories and working on releasing the resentment.

This post has been a bit more deeper then usual.

Uninvited - glad you're back buddy
Lee - good work on the sobriety
Saskia - congrats on day 7!

Jeni26

Lee, absolutely fantastic to hear from you too xx

Saskia

Wow, we are having a reunion morning! Welcome back Lee, Uninvited and Jane!

Lee, I think you make some very worthwhile points about the issues with longer-term sobriety. I wonder if mixing the two issues in one thread would be really helpful or if it would result in fragmentation. I have a foot in both camps since I was sober for 14 years and then started drinking again when I got way over stressed. In many ways my issues are like others on this thread but there are differences. I had previously worked through a lot of stuff and haven't experienced some of the things first-timers are going through here. On the other hand, I am also very acutely aware of how easy it is to slip. I don't have any good answers on how to stay sober forever. Some people in AA seem to but I haven't known them that long. And I'm generally not a "group" type of person - I seem to do better one-on-one.

I don't know if a separate thread for people who have longer-term sobriety under their belts would be helpful or not. So much seems to depend on the chemistry of the particular group. I hope Dee reads this after the weekend because I would very much like to get his "take" on this subject. He seems so grounded and wise.

I know that I want to stay sober as long as I live. Can I do that? I'm beginning to think that perhaps I can. Getting sober previously wasn't a walk in the park but this time was much harder. I don't want to go through this again! My brain is aging enough in other ways and I don't want to lose even more brain cells by drinking.

And a quick shout-out to FrenchPink, since tomorrow is October and I get the impression that your encounter with the good robot is nigh. My best thoughts for a successful procedure and smooth recovery are with you!

IPad g-ma, sassy Saskia, etc.

Saskia

Jane and Uninvited, I'm so glad you are back! there is no shame in slipping. I can't count the number of times I've slipped since I joined this merry band. I understand about the red face issue, Uninvited. It's easier to stay in denial when there are no outward signs of drinking. Sadly, as I certainly discovered, the bad effects of alcohol tend to be silent for many years. Cirrhosis of the liver is not only deadly, it's a horrible way to die but by the time we have symptoms, it's often too late. Liver transplants are hard to get and at my age I've been told that it won't happen. When I was diagnosed 4-5 years ago, I was told that without any changes, I had maybe 5 years left. Hopefully that's improved now. Alcohol also has lots of cognitive effects and those can be subtle for a long time.

So, Uninvited, that's my long-winded way of saying that your red face when drinking may be a blessing in disguise. It causes you to, at the very least, feel self-conscious. Sometimes with alcoholism it helps to focus on the small, "stupid" stuff as reasons to stop. It's very hard to stop because someday we might be faced with liver failure -- until we are.

Jane, it sounds like you are in an environment where the temptations to drink are probably much higher than for some of us. Give yourself lots of credit for coming back here again and wanting to be sober!

FrenchPink

Oh, now, Soleil. You have got to be kidding me. In collusion with Dee for the coveted shotgun position? Of all the sneaky, underhanded….! Just for that, Mammoth is standing over our sober ride and you ain’t goin’ nowhere, Ms. Stealthy Seat Stealer.

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