Really4Real

Met with my therapist.... hard. My family of origin isn't really a family at all... mom ok so far, but biological dad a sexist. I won't go into detail about what turned me off about him, but it was bad. Adopted family mom manipulative and hurting... dad abuser. Husband so wounded that he's not taking care me either. I have to take care of myself... like I have since I was very little. Heartbreaking. It's not self-pity, it's reality setting in and emotions being allowed to run their course. It hurts.
I did drink a few 24oz of beer... wanted to stop at one. I wish I could ask my friends if I could just come now and stay until Sunday. Two days just wasnt' enough. I just so want to get over this hump. Sorry guys.

riggedgame

Day 11 here. AVRT has helped a great deal for me. I tend to over-intellectualize things, get stuck in the "why" of it all. R4R; I hear where you're coming from: I had a catastrophic childhood, extremely violent until I finally left at age 18.

But in the end, it's the recognition that my alcoholism, my hardwired urge to drink, is not me, that makes the difference. I don't need to bargain with it or explain anything to it. That won't work. All it wants is get high, to feel good, to escape.

Those urges are not me. And I will not be governed by them.

KMC2008

June Class so proud to be apart of it! I have had eight days today and I feel great. I have had some serious thoughts pass through my head, but the steps have really helped me to be pulled back into reality. We can do this!

RevivingOphelia

Joining the June Group on Day Six.

Like Bombshell, I was a two bottle of wine drinker about 2-3 times per week.

It's been tough...I've had a few start dates...

Off from work for a couple of months, so I'm hoping that work stress triggers are alleviated a bit...I'm also away from some hometown influences for awhile, so this last effort of six sober days HAS been easier w/o those familiar conditions that seem to propel me to drink.

Thanks for any and all support and best to all of you in this month and beyond!

cat1961

So much activity here and don't know where to start, so I'll say that I'm pleased to see everyone here and sharing their daily experiences to stay on the right track.

I'm wrapping up day 7 after working 8.6 hrs which is a record for me over the 1+ year with this job. I've never been able to work that much in a day because I'd start drinking by 3 or 4 pm every day. It's absolutely amazing how much can be accomplished without the booze.

I don't think I'll have any trouble sleeping tonight, just as last night. Tomorrow will bring more prosperity and happiness in this household!

Everyone have a safe, sober evening.

TrackDay

I haven't been on here for a couple of days, but I'm still sober. It's depressing to come to grips with the fact that I'll NEVER be able to have a drink again. It sucks, but I feel like the only way this is going to get easier is if I just accept it, and learn to live life under this new reality.

stevie88

Start of Day 10 here for me....Gonna be a hard day as its only 08.15 and im already craving beer.....

Midton

I had an unexpectedly and unusually bad day today. Were this 11 days ago I would have drunk tonight, no arguments.

I didn't sleep well and got up at 5 feeling groggy. I went ot the gym and here my regular routine took a turn for the worse. One of the workers took out her anger at me over a perceived slight probably due to my grogginess. It left me feeling weak, embarassed and alone. For a variety of reasons it really affected me all day. I've felt really depressed all day; the kind of deep depression that were it in the past I might have felt too down to even drink.

Then I was really tired and iritable at work and still had a lingering depression (developing into rage) hanging over me. The thought of drinking was so strong. Work is a big trigger for me. I feel fatigued all the time at work. I knew that I wouldn't drink but a similar situation is a few weeks might find me weaker I fear.

This was a really bad day. Shockingly so in that I don't really have many bad days. I cocoon myself normally so as to avoid things that might affect me badly.

Well at least I didn't drink but this is going to linger in my psyche at a time I really don't need it.

end of rambling rant.

serious

Day 6 starting out. Interestingly enough, I was in the same class last year on the same exact day.

oinobares

Excellent job not drinking, Midton. Day 11 here for me and just last evening I had my first wave of depression. Really it was just my kids acting like terrors and recent memories of using booze to cope popped into my head pretty rapidly. Went to bad sober, woke up sober and feeling splendid. So I'm grateful for that! It's not easy.

Have a fantastic sober day all!

sarah1414

There is a lot going on here...it's great to see.

Well done, Oino. Enjoy your day!

Serious, I've been in several classes too but I'm planning on making June '12 my last stop.

R4R. Just know that a friend is continuing to pray for you. Come on back for good.

Stevie, Work through the craving. It will pass and you will be thankful in the morning.

I think it's interesting that many of us feel sad at times that we will never drink again. Kind of like there's always something missing from our life. But the reality is, we've excluded something very dangerous and toxic to our lives so we should remind ourselves of that. I know I have had to remind myself that I'm not missing out but rather gaining so much from not drinking.

NoMaLies

Another Day One for me but it's a new day and a new plan.

stevie88

Well after my negative post first thing this morning i am very proud to announce that instead of dwelling on my craving,i got off my a$$ and went to my first ever AA meeting,cant believe that everyone there was/is exactly the same as me...They even let me share right at the end.....Really happy that i went and would reccomend it highly....Hope everyone else is ok....Stay strong group....

oinobares

Kudos on hitting that first meeting, stevie! Last time around I hadn't thoroughly conceded defeat, so the meetings I attended haphazardly, the program I wasn't really "working," not surprisingly didn't work. This time around I enjoy the meetings, they give me a new outlook, and I always take away a firmer sense of my goals and loads of positivity, gratitude, and relief.

Have a great day all!

Live2Run25

This is wonderful Hopeful! I'm happy for you!

Live2Run25

Stevie,
Don't pick up! Day 10 is a wonderful number! Double digits!

Live2Run25

Day 17 for me. I finally ran on my treadmill last night. First run in almost a month and a half. I'd been feeling lazy and unmotivated. Not drinking has made me want to start running again. it's an escape and a place to think. Felt better after running. Hope everyone has a great day today!

seanie1888

Hi everyone,
Back to day1 for me, had 4 months and then thought I could go back easy, just weekends, no spirits etc, did not work. Just off a 4 day bender and only for my wife getting very cross with me I would say I'd be at it today again, but glad i'm not.
Really you think ur missing something when ur really not.
I was in really great form when sober and feel very depressed to have wasted the sober time

hopeful78

THANK YOU!!!! :o)

oinobares

Welcome back seanie! I had ninety days recently and thought I could handle one glass of champagne at a formal party. That night I held it together but the very next day I started on a ten day bender. Then I wound up detoxing in a hospital. After that I realized my prime directive must be to not pick up a drink.

best wishes for achieving your goal!

(P.S. I also know about the wife being cross--this last relapse put me right on the brink of her leaving and taking the kids)