Class of October 2010 Sobriety Group Part 2
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: A Much Happier Place!
Posts: 91
Hi folks, Hope you are all well this evening?
Isaiah good luck with the move to your new home and your poor tail bone. So so sore. Once, while under the influence at a party, a gang of use thought it would be SO funny to have races down a staircase on our bums....NOT so funny for the next 4 weeks when I could hardly walk and getting up off my office chair brought tears to my eyes. Had damaged my coccyx bone. Actually I really think that should have rang alarm bells for me and my drinking habits at the time but it didnt...not the right time I guess...well I am here now and that is all that matters.
2011 is going well and I am feeling good. My operation transformation has started and I am, as promised exercising more. Not sure I am ready for Tom's fitness posts but it is a start. I had a great weekend. Out for dinner with the hubby on Saturday night (we decided to make the effort and it was nice) and went dancing in a late night club....out to the car, sober and home safely to bed. He actually said he thought I was a better dancer sober....now where to go with that!!
I am still enjoying the total freedom that sobriety gives me. My eldest daughter is heading to London with her school for the weekend and must be in the airport for 4.15 am Friday morning..Thank God I am not drinking!!! Anyway, hot on the heels of some of my other classmates I reached 100 days today and I am so proud but I will never be complacent!!! I know it's what's ahead that counts but I love the surprise when I use that calculator and see the time pass. Funny how my friends, family and colleagues now know how serious I am about remaining sober. First thing one of my colleagues asked me in the office after Christmas was if I was still off the drink!! She seem less surprised and a little disappointed when I announced that I had a fantastic sober Christmas. I think its and Irish thing...they think your joining some strange cult if you mention your no longer able to drink alcohol lol lol.
Anyway I bid you all good night....
Isaiah good luck with the move to your new home and your poor tail bone. So so sore. Once, while under the influence at a party, a gang of use thought it would be SO funny to have races down a staircase on our bums....NOT so funny for the next 4 weeks when I could hardly walk and getting up off my office chair brought tears to my eyes. Had damaged my coccyx bone. Actually I really think that should have rang alarm bells for me and my drinking habits at the time but it didnt...not the right time I guess...well I am here now and that is all that matters.
2011 is going well and I am feeling good. My operation transformation has started and I am, as promised exercising more. Not sure I am ready for Tom's fitness posts but it is a start. I had a great weekend. Out for dinner with the hubby on Saturday night (we decided to make the effort and it was nice) and went dancing in a late night club....out to the car, sober and home safely to bed. He actually said he thought I was a better dancer sober....now where to go with that!!
I am still enjoying the total freedom that sobriety gives me. My eldest daughter is heading to London with her school for the weekend and must be in the airport for 4.15 am Friday morning..Thank God I am not drinking!!! Anyway, hot on the heels of some of my other classmates I reached 100 days today and I am so proud but I will never be complacent!!! I know it's what's ahead that counts but I love the surprise when I use that calculator and see the time pass. Funny how my friends, family and colleagues now know how serious I am about remaining sober. First thing one of my colleagues asked me in the office after Christmas was if I was still off the drink!! She seem less surprised and a little disappointed when I announced that I had a fantastic sober Christmas. I think its and Irish thing...they think your joining some strange cult if you mention your no longer able to drink alcohol lol lol.
Anyway I bid you all good night....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 284
I am proud and humbled to say that today is day 90 for me. I have made it to 30 a couple of times in the past years (with no intention of staying quit.) I could not have done it without the support of those of you on SR. Reading your words gives me so much strength, thanks so much to Dee and all of you. :day6
Every sober day is a gift I can't wait to unwrap and it's nice to be able to start a beautiful new life because wonderful people like you all share your experiences here on SR. God bless you all.
Every sober day is a gift I can't wait to unwrap and it's nice to be able to start a beautiful new life because wonderful people like you all share your experiences here on SR. God bless you all.
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
My hat is off to all of us. Don't see much from you Carib and Grateful but I am glad to hear that you are on-board.
Moo, I feel a great sense of excitement in your post. I read it a couple of times and can see a lot of optimism and contentment in it. I remember a couple of months ago when you were ready to throw in the towel and you stopped right on your tracks. I am very proud of you. I know soon you will be posting on the fitness forum yourself along with R4R and Ultra.
ISA. I hope to hear that your pain in the _ _ _ was "stress" related to your move and you are OK, enjoying the snow falling in OR. Keep us posted.
SWAN, are you OK? Have not heard from you in a couple of days.
My best to all.
Moo, I feel a great sense of excitement in your post. I read it a couple of times and can see a lot of optimism and contentment in it. I remember a couple of months ago when you were ready to throw in the towel and you stopped right on your tracks. I am very proud of you. I know soon you will be posting on the fitness forum yourself along with R4R and Ultra.
ISA. I hope to hear that your pain in the _ _ _ was "stress" related to your move and you are OK, enjoying the snow falling in OR. Keep us posted.
SWAN, are you OK? Have not heard from you in a couple of days.
My best to all.
ANewBeginning
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,822
Niiiiiiice work, Moo Moos! On the 100 days and also with doing something physical! The exercise has really helped me focus on some good aspects of myself instead of all the bad that I used to. Good stuff like perseverance and determination -- stuff that seems to parallel sobriety.
Grateful - Thanks for all the kind words! And AWESOME on the 90 DAYS!!!! That's what it's all about... sharing - helping others and in turn helping myself... cool stuff.
Isaiah - How was the trip?
Carribean - How's things in your neck of the universe?
Have a good one!
Grateful - Thanks for all the kind words! And AWESOME on the 90 DAYS!!!! That's what it's all about... sharing - helping others and in turn helping myself... cool stuff.
Isaiah - How was the trip?
Carribean - How's things in your neck of the universe?
Have a good one!
Drunk in Recovery
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 143
Really great to see all the milestones. I especially appreciate tomdecelt's comment that this time "feels" different. I have never tried to quit before (tried to cut back once in early 2001, but never really tried to stop drinking entirely) -- and I get scared a lot hearing so many people talk about their relapses. In my current AA group, everyone has relapsed at least once. How do you know it's for real? I just have to trust in my work and keep on with the journey.
There are definitely times when it would be easier to just drink, and not the times where it looks hard -- when something big happens like losing my job, I am OK. It is the times when I am lonely, afraid, caught up in thought-circles in my mind.... those are the times that are riskier than going through the holidays or attending a fancy dinner where everyone else is drinking. It's when my guard isn't up, the spaces open up for temptation for an easier solution to life's problems.
I am grateful for the gift of another day where I don't have any new regrets caused by my drinking. And I am grateful to have all of you, who understand.
There are definitely times when it would be easier to just drink, and not the times where it looks hard -- when something big happens like losing my job, I am OK. It is the times when I am lonely, afraid, caught up in thought-circles in my mind.... those are the times that are riskier than going through the holidays or attending a fancy dinner where everyone else is drinking. It's when my guard isn't up, the spaces open up for temptation for an easier solution to life's problems.
I am grateful for the gift of another day where I don't have any new regrets caused by my drinking. And I am grateful to have all of you, who understand.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Venus, Space
Posts: 757
Hey all,
Sorry I tried to post two days ago, typed up a lengthy post and then it said sorry, you've been timed out!
-- I couldn't fathom retyping it all so I just went to bed cuz everyone seemed to be doing so good.
Congrats on 90 Grateful and Carribean and 100+ TDC and 71 Isa! That's frigging awesome on everyone's behalf!!! Hi to you too Moo and dee74!!
I've got to catch up with all the new posts but I just got back from my 2nd work out of the new year, need to walk the dog and head out to my nightly meeting so I'll try to post up most in the next few days...! But hey, I'm still here and sober and clearly busy with life which is good!!!
I've added nightly meditation into my program and so that's consuming the evening time I used to spend after my AA meetings here on SR. I'm sure as time goes on it'll become more second nature and I'll automagically factor time for it into my day but right now that isn't the case, so pardon me if I slack a bit on posting up - promise I'll check in by the weekends if not a couple times during the week while I work this and getting the gym back into my over daily program of living sober!
You guys rock! Have a great evening! :-)
Sorry I tried to post two days ago, typed up a lengthy post and then it said sorry, you've been timed out!
-- I couldn't fathom retyping it all so I just went to bed cuz everyone seemed to be doing so good. Congrats on 90 Grateful and Carribean and 100+ TDC and 71 Isa! That's frigging awesome on everyone's behalf!!! Hi to you too Moo and dee74!!
I've got to catch up with all the new posts but I just got back from my 2nd work out of the new year, need to walk the dog and head out to my nightly meeting so I'll try to post up most in the next few days...! But hey, I'm still here and sober and clearly busy with life which is good!!!
I've added nightly meditation into my program and so that's consuming the evening time I used to spend after my AA meetings here on SR. I'm sure as time goes on it'll become more second nature and I'll automagically factor time for it into my day but right now that isn't the case, so pardon me if I slack a bit on posting up - promise I'll check in by the weekends if not a couple times during the week while I work this and getting the gym back into my over daily program of living sober!
You guys rock! Have a great evening! :-)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Venus, Space
Posts: 757
Oops, Sorry Moo Moos - I didn't read your post, congrats on 100, that's wonderful. 
Carribean as far relapses are concerned, because this is my second try with AA and one of many times in my life trying to stay 'stopped' I think you really nailed it when you said you just need to trust in your journey. In the past, I really don't feel like I was 'ready' ya know, sorta like consciously I was saying 'yes, I'm powerless over alcohol and my life has become unmanageable' or on my own, 'I don't ever want to drink again- EVER' - but sub-consciously that part of my brain was not willing to surrender. To admit the war was over and I had lost and that alcohol (or drugs) could no longer be a part of my life...only my conscious mind was ready for that, and my subconscious was saying 'ok, I will comply with that idea' - and the difference, in my current experience now knowing inside my heart of hearts that I have surrendered, it's not just a lone battle (as my subconscious would like me to believe and therefore one day I can rejoin the war) but the entire war is OVER, I've lost, I've surrendered and with the act of surrendering I'm now willing do whatever needs to be done to 'arrest' this ailment - I think you just simply know, not by thought - not for me at least, but by feeling.
And what you said I also fully agree with, 100%. I would not even like to categorize it as 'AA' jargon or what-have-you, I truly think it IS a very real possibility, that it won't be the loss of a job or a loved one that may one day find me confronted with a drink in my hand or the thought of putting a drink in my hand, but instead something simple, seemingly trivial, perhaps when I'm at my so called 'happiest', or maybe when I just no longer feeling 'on fire' with sobriety - probably the worst place for an alcoholic to find themselves....once again not feeling anything, stuck.
And so, if I can use dee74 as an example, since he's staying sober without AA and has some years under his belt (hope you don't mind dee!) it would seem to me that as he's said before he found that volunteer work (if I recall correctly) was one of the ways in which he is using to 'change' his old self into his new self. So I would imagine that if he ever finds himself 'stuck' he has something 'outside' of himself to turn to in order to get himself out of danger. OF course, it would be great if dee74 would share his thoughts on this topic with us from his personal experience.
So in AA we take a slightly different approach, but it seems everyone posting here is not saying 'I've stopped drinking, and now as long as I read this SR posts I can stay sober' - we all seem to have grasped it goes way, way beyond being that simple.
I was told the old me will drink again, the current me will too drink again, therefore I need to become a new me.
From the sounds of things you are doing fine. And when people talk about relapsing I usually try to thank them- because when I hear that nothing has changed, the madness came right back as did the misery, loss of self esteem, so on and so forth I can have compassion because they are suffering and yet also be thankful that they relapsed because they were courageous enough to bring the 'research' back with them and obviously if things magically got better well they wouldn't have returned to recovery.
Some of the best recovery I've seen in my AA groups is from people who relapsed 10, 20, 30 years ago before getting it right. Some of the best recovery I've seen is in people who decided they were alcoholic and never had to take another drink again. We come in all flavors - let your journey be yours to experience! I wish you the best!!
Carribean as far relapses are concerned, because this is my second try with AA and one of many times in my life trying to stay 'stopped' I think you really nailed it when you said you just need to trust in your journey. In the past, I really don't feel like I was 'ready' ya know, sorta like consciously I was saying 'yes, I'm powerless over alcohol and my life has become unmanageable' or on my own, 'I don't ever want to drink again- EVER' - but sub-consciously that part of my brain was not willing to surrender. To admit the war was over and I had lost and that alcohol (or drugs) could no longer be a part of my life...only my conscious mind was ready for that, and my subconscious was saying 'ok, I will comply with that idea' - and the difference, in my current experience now knowing inside my heart of hearts that I have surrendered, it's not just a lone battle (as my subconscious would like me to believe and therefore one day I can rejoin the war) but the entire war is OVER, I've lost, I've surrendered and with the act of surrendering I'm now willing do whatever needs to be done to 'arrest' this ailment - I think you just simply know, not by thought - not for me at least, but by feeling.
And what you said I also fully agree with, 100%. I would not even like to categorize it as 'AA' jargon or what-have-you, I truly think it IS a very real possibility, that it won't be the loss of a job or a loved one that may one day find me confronted with a drink in my hand or the thought of putting a drink in my hand, but instead something simple, seemingly trivial, perhaps when I'm at my so called 'happiest', or maybe when I just no longer feeling 'on fire' with sobriety - probably the worst place for an alcoholic to find themselves....once again not feeling anything, stuck.
And so, if I can use dee74 as an example, since he's staying sober without AA and has some years under his belt (hope you don't mind dee!) it would seem to me that as he's said before he found that volunteer work (if I recall correctly) was one of the ways in which he is using to 'change' his old self into his new self. So I would imagine that if he ever finds himself 'stuck' he has something 'outside' of himself to turn to in order to get himself out of danger. OF course, it would be great if dee74 would share his thoughts on this topic with us from his personal experience.
So in AA we take a slightly different approach, but it seems everyone posting here is not saying 'I've stopped drinking, and now as long as I read this SR posts I can stay sober' - we all seem to have grasped it goes way, way beyond being that simple.
I was told the old me will drink again, the current me will too drink again, therefore I need to become a new me.
From the sounds of things you are doing fine. And when people talk about relapsing I usually try to thank them- because when I hear that nothing has changed, the madness came right back as did the misery, loss of self esteem, so on and so forth I can have compassion because they are suffering and yet also be thankful that they relapsed because they were courageous enough to bring the 'research' back with them and obviously if things magically got better well they wouldn't have returned to recovery.
Some of the best recovery I've seen in my AA groups is from people who relapsed 10, 20, 30 years ago before getting it right. Some of the best recovery I've seen is in people who decided they were alcoholic and never had to take another drink again. We come in all flavors - let your journey be yours to experience! I wish you the best!!
ANewBeginning
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,822
Hey Caribbean - great to hear from you. I think you're so right when you said that it's the times when our guard is down - I'd call them the ho-hum days. Those are the days, when in the past when I have relapsed that I said, 'I can handle having a couple beers now and then' and six months later, I'm drinking everyday - even going so far as to have a can in the car for immediately after work - and drinking wine and harder stuff so get the buzz on faster before slowing down to 'just' drinking beer. Wow... run-on sentence there!! How do I know it's real this time?? I know one day at a time. I don't think about tomorrow or what-if down the road. I know today, I'm not drinking.
Swan - Sounds like you're getting yourself pretty settled in the new year - working out and all that. Wonderful!
Ok... nuff said for me. Have an excellent day all!
Swan - Sounds like you're getting yourself pretty settled in the new year - working out and all that. Wonderful!
Ok... nuff said for me. Have an excellent day all!
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Hey! Well done, Grateful! Keep chugging along. It's kind of nice to be the tail end of the October group; I get to watch all of you hit the big ol' milestones before me.
Quick update: I am in Oregon now. It's going great so far. Haven't gotten as far as I'd like with settling in because I'm still having some back pain, but by the end of this week I'll have my room furnished, a real place to stay and then I'm going to start looking for stuff to keep me busy. My friend here is celebrating her 2-year sobriety anniversary tonight. I had a date planned but I'm thinking about canceling and celebrating the anniversary.
Quick update: I am in Oregon now. It's going great so far. Haven't gotten as far as I'd like with settling in because I'm still having some back pain, but by the end of this week I'll have my room furnished, a real place to stay and then I'm going to start looking for stuff to keep me busy. My friend here is celebrating her 2-year sobriety anniversary tonight. I had a date planned but I'm thinking about canceling and celebrating the anniversary.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Venus, Space
Posts: 757
Thx Really, yep def. off to a good start.
Isa, 2 years is huge, congrats to your friend. No idea if you should break your date or not, but that's a big day in our lives.
Just checking in and saying hi. Super tired, got up really early for work so off to a meeting shortly and then an early bed. Gonna try for another workout tomorrow.
Hope everyone had a great day and is still sober!
Isa, 2 years is huge, congrats to your friend. No idea if you should break your date or not, but that's a big day in our lives.
Just checking in and saying hi. Super tired, got up really early for work so off to a meeting shortly and then an early bed. Gonna try for another workout tomorrow.
Hope everyone had a great day and is still sober!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,588
And so, if I can use dee74 as an example, since he's staying sober without AA and has some years under his belt (hope you don't mind dee!) it would seem to me that as he's said before he found that volunteer work (if I recall correctly) was one of the ways in which he is using to 'change' his old self into his new self. So I would imagine that if he ever finds himself 'stuck' he has something 'outside' of himself to turn to in order to get himself out of danger. OF course, it would be great if dee74 would share his thoughts on this topic with us from his personal experience.
It started off, here and elsewhere, as service work that kept me on the straight and narrow - and thats still important to me...but I've grown a lot in my 4 years sober.
I'm not saying I'm a saint LOL but I'm not the same person I used to be - I can't see how anyone who throws themselves into this journey can be.
It's been a rough week for me this week - I would have certainly drunk my way through it 4 years ago.
I hope I never get complacent about that.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Venus, Space
Posts: 757
Some kind of weird crap happened today...made me think of one of TDC's old posts, although I don't recall the specifics of his...
For a 'second' the thought of getting off the train where the wine bar is hit me, sounded seductive because we guys always pick up beautiful women as soon as we have a drink in our hands right?!?! and then I was bitter, sorta ashamed, and I guess a bit scared that I even had the thought of going to the wine bar.
Anyhow, I'm home safely now - figured I would share that with you guys and get it out of my head. I suppose I should know better than to think as a human with an organ in my skull whose primary function is to create thoughts, that this would happen eventually but it kinda makes me feel fugly cuz I felt like maybe it was a reflection of my program which I feel I've been doing a really great job with...
Well, I guess I can be grateful because it was fleeting, I didn't own the thought, didn't take action on it and it passed.
Hope everyone else is doing good! Peace.
For a 'second' the thought of getting off the train where the wine bar is hit me, sounded seductive because we guys always pick up beautiful women as soon as we have a drink in our hands right?!?! and then I was bitter, sorta ashamed, and I guess a bit scared that I even had the thought of going to the wine bar.
Anyhow, I'm home safely now - figured I would share that with you guys and get it out of my head. I suppose I should know better than to think as a human with an organ in my skull whose primary function is to create thoughts, that this would happen eventually but it kinda makes me feel fugly cuz I felt like maybe it was a reflection of my program which I feel I've been doing a really great job with...
Well, I guess I can be grateful because it was fleeting, I didn't own the thought, didn't take action on it and it passed.
Hope everyone else is doing good! Peace.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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