August Sobriety Group Part 4
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 711
Anono,
I think I picked a good sponsor. I listened to her sharing on numerous occasions and just kind of checked her out for about 2 months. I agreed with what she had to say and wanted (want) what she has.
She seems together and organized which also attracted me.
We kind of made an agreement that she would be a temporary sponsor for a while to make sure we have a good fit.
I am just impatient and want to get on with the steps, but I can totally see where I need to study the BB before jumping in. I think it is going to be pretty intensive when we begin the steps, that she is getting me to prepare for it.
I had a sponsor about 9 months ago for about two months. She was younger than me and I wound up counseling her on stuff and it was not a good sponsor/sponsee relatationship. Plus, I was drinking the whole time. That didn't help either.
I think I picked a good sponsor. I listened to her sharing on numerous occasions and just kind of checked her out for about 2 months. I agreed with what she had to say and wanted (want) what she has.
She seems together and organized which also attracted me.
We kind of made an agreement that she would be a temporary sponsor for a while to make sure we have a good fit.
I am just impatient and want to get on with the steps, but I can totally see where I need to study the BB before jumping in. I think it is going to be pretty intensive when we begin the steps, that she is getting me to prepare for it.
I had a sponsor about 9 months ago for about two months. She was younger than me and I wound up counseling her on stuff and it was not a good sponsor/sponsee relatationship. Plus, I was drinking the whole time. That didn't help either.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
Morning everyone --- I have a 9am conference call so must run but just wanted to say hi and that I'll catch up on everyone's posts a little later.
I have thought about it and thought about it. I really don't think drinking is right for me. It's a personal decision, but there are many reasons for it. The main one is that I just don't feel right/sleep right with any amount of alcohol in me. Another is the scary spiral I have seen on here by reading the threads of those who have gotten further along with alcoholism than I have. And a third very important reason is the risk of DUI. Who needs that kind of risk or worry in their life?
I want to be happy without alcohol. It's really only wine that I miss, not alcohol in itself. I'm going to look for ways to deal with those cravings. So I'll catch up with you all later.
I have thought about it and thought about it. I really don't think drinking is right for me. It's a personal decision, but there are many reasons for it. The main one is that I just don't feel right/sleep right with any amount of alcohol in me. Another is the scary spiral I have seen on here by reading the threads of those who have gotten further along with alcoholism than I have. And a third very important reason is the risk of DUI. Who needs that kind of risk or worry in their life?
I want to be happy without alcohol. It's really only wine that I miss, not alcohol in itself. I'm going to look for ways to deal with those cravings. So I'll catch up with you all later.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
Thanks everyone for writing. It is so good to hear from those that have been where I am at, and where I soon will be! I feel pretty good today. I didn't have a drop last night to drink, and hit the sack. I slept a little, but I have a found a few hours sober sleeping is better than 9 drunk. I feel more alert today and calm. I had a good breakfast with the boys this morning, and now getting ready to head out of town to see clients.
I hope you all keep posting, and look forward to hearing from you all soon.
Sphalerite- Check in. How are you? Remember, we are doing this together!!!
Laura- Funny you should mention that just having one or two throw off your sleep. My wife (who hardly drinks at all) said even if she has even one, she can tell she is less rested in the morning. So if she feels like that after one, imagine how we feel after many nights in a row of 12-20?!?! No wonder we feel like crap all the time!
Have a good day everyone, and talk more later.
Brent
I hope you all keep posting, and look forward to hearing from you all soon.
Sphalerite- Check in. How are you? Remember, we are doing this together!!!
Laura- Funny you should mention that just having one or two throw off your sleep. My wife (who hardly drinks at all) said even if she has even one, she can tell she is less rested in the morning. So if she feels like that after one, imagine how we feel after many nights in a row of 12-20?!?! No wonder we feel like crap all the time!
Have a good day everyone, and talk more later.
Brent
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 957
Good Morning Classmates, 
Doing well, sober and busy, now that hubby is home.
Today is my son's 25th birthday, made a cake last night, now need to ice it.
5 his favorite, chocolate.
Busy day today, have lots 2 do. Will write more when I can, life is good.
Stay strong everyone.
Doing well, sober and busy, now that hubby is home.
Today is my son's 25th birthday, made a cake last night, now need to ice it.
5 his favorite, chocolate. Busy day today, have lots 2 do. Will write more when I can, life is good.
Stay strong everyone.
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Cake...
I'm here. Yesterday I took a 'furlough' day from school--was no way I'd have pulled it off with all the physical pain and symptoms and all that stuff. Don't even think I was having emotional pain--not enough pain cell thingys in my brain for that.
Look bad enough for someone to suggest I should go home to sleep. So I did.
Till about 4 or so, when Evil Roommate came by banging on my door. She has a habit of leaving trash *all* over the house (in trash bags, but still... the apartment isn't that big. One or two might suffice) and never taking it out. Her and the other one went to Vegas for the weekend, the house was a mess... and none of it was me. So she's saying we need to clean up more. I pointed out none of it was mine, she started fumbling for all sorts of other things--but I'm never in the common areas, so even she saw her argument fall apart.
I was tired, tired of drinking, tired of coming down, tired of sleeping maybe. Tired of these petty roommate dramas. So I wandered over to the housing office, talked to the guy there for most of the afternoon. About football, college, living on campus, all sorts of other routine things. I had gone in wondering what the H- I was doing, but thinking maybe I'd need to be hospitalized or something, that I couldn't take this no more. That didn't come up. I think I'll hang out there some from now on. It made me feel a lot better, like I was part of humanity.
Come home to an unlocked door (?) and my room had obviously been rifled through. Nothing missing, as I could tell, but grr.
On the other hand, they're on housing's radar for that little littering habit. Seems they can't help it, and not just in the house...
I slipped up again last night, after I got back here. My little castle here has been violated, my body was being assaulted by the withdrawals, and the internet was all the way down. My intentions of getting sober have not changed, I just couldn't take the pain. This is the worst withdrawal yet, except for the 2 when I dang near died, of course, but even those were less sustained agony.
This is just said, not edited, I only got a couple hours without a drink right now and just can't think good enough. I thank all y'all for your continued support of my very dumb self. And succotash is mixed vegetables--about the only thing I could stomach at the time.
-TB, not looking like that smiley yet, but hoping it'll come soon--except for the jaunidice...
I'm here. Yesterday I took a 'furlough' day from school--was no way I'd have pulled it off with all the physical pain and symptoms and all that stuff. Don't even think I was having emotional pain--not enough pain cell thingys in my brain for that.
Look bad enough for someone to suggest I should go home to sleep. So I did.
Till about 4 or so, when Evil Roommate came by banging on my door. She has a habit of leaving trash *all* over the house (in trash bags, but still... the apartment isn't that big. One or two might suffice) and never taking it out. Her and the other one went to Vegas for the weekend, the house was a mess... and none of it was me. So she's saying we need to clean up more. I pointed out none of it was mine, she started fumbling for all sorts of other things--but I'm never in the common areas, so even she saw her argument fall apart.
I was tired, tired of drinking, tired of coming down, tired of sleeping maybe. Tired of these petty roommate dramas. So I wandered over to the housing office, talked to the guy there for most of the afternoon. About football, college, living on campus, all sorts of other routine things. I had gone in wondering what the H- I was doing, but thinking maybe I'd need to be hospitalized or something, that I couldn't take this no more. That didn't come up. I think I'll hang out there some from now on. It made me feel a lot better, like I was part of humanity.
Come home to an unlocked door (?) and my room had obviously been rifled through. Nothing missing, as I could tell, but grr.
On the other hand, they're on housing's radar for that little littering habit. Seems they can't help it, and not just in the house...
I slipped up again last night, after I got back here. My little castle here has been violated, my body was being assaulted by the withdrawals, and the internet was all the way down. My intentions of getting sober have not changed, I just couldn't take the pain. This is the worst withdrawal yet, except for the 2 when I dang near died, of course, but even those were less sustained agony.
This is just said, not edited, I only got a couple hours without a drink right now and just can't think good enough. I thank all y'all for your continued support of my very dumb self. And succotash is mixed vegetables--about the only thing I could stomach at the time.
-TB, not looking like that smiley yet, but hoping it'll come soon--except for the jaunidice...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: up north
Posts: 102
Still here--day three, or day two I guess, as I drank Sunday morning...
Anxiety is horrible, thank the FSM for the ativan (especially last night) as I actually fell asleep quite easily. I did wake up 'round three with the whole hot/cold sweats though. Didn't want to take another pill, as I knew it would probably make me feel groggy in the morning (I had to be up bu 6:30).
My dad called last night to check on my progress which was nice as he knew exactly how it felt to go through the hideous detox symptoms (he's been there many times, although has been sober through AA now for 15 years or so...).
My mum and Husband have been wonderful. Hubby literally held and rocked me through that first awful night--didn't even get annoyed that I had to keep all the lights on as I was terrified of the dark that night, lol). My mum has basically moved in and has taken care of the kids/house for the past couple of days while I'm going through this. Next best thing to in-patient detox I guess...
Found a meeting tonight, right up the road from where I live but am SO terrified of walking through that door. You see I live in a TINY town and I'm scared of who I will see there, but more so of who will see ME.
It is listed as an 'Open Discussion' meeting, so my mum said she'd go with me for moral support as non alchies are allowed to attend the open meetings...
We'll see what happens...
Thank you bdiddy, groggles and all of you here for your continuing support.
Anxiety is horrible, thank the FSM for the ativan (especially last night) as I actually fell asleep quite easily. I did wake up 'round three with the whole hot/cold sweats though. Didn't want to take another pill, as I knew it would probably make me feel groggy in the morning (I had to be up bu 6:30).
My dad called last night to check on my progress which was nice as he knew exactly how it felt to go through the hideous detox symptoms (he's been there many times, although has been sober through AA now for 15 years or so...).
My mum and Husband have been wonderful. Hubby literally held and rocked me through that first awful night--didn't even get annoyed that I had to keep all the lights on as I was terrified of the dark that night, lol). My mum has basically moved in and has taken care of the kids/house for the past couple of days while I'm going through this. Next best thing to in-patient detox I guess...
Found a meeting tonight, right up the road from where I live but am SO terrified of walking through that door. You see I live in a TINY town and I'm scared of who I will see there, but more so of who will see ME.
It is listed as an 'Open Discussion' meeting, so my mum said she'd go with me for moral support as non alchies are allowed to attend the open meetings...
We'll see what happens...
Thank you bdiddy, groggles and all of you here for your continuing support.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
Sphal, TB...I know how bad the withdrawal is that you all are going thru. I know that I will not go thru it again...I just can't. There was nothing so glorious about drinking that is worth that h*ll again. To say nothing of I feel like it is playing russian roulette with my life. How do I know I can pull it thru one more time?
Hang in there guys...you all can do this!
Hang in there guys...you all can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
KC here. Have a few minutes before heading off to a meeting. Yesterday's golf tournament wasn't too bad. Hubby actually "played" okay for not being a golfer. No golf balls went BACKWARDS this year, anyway. Didn't win any prizes, but had a beautiful day outside.
Laura - I hear ya with your comment about just wanting to be a normal adult drinker. Seems so simple, yet it is very hard. It's the wine I will miss and the wine tastings and the wine dinners, and the trips to Napa Valley.
So friends, a double whammy for me. I have decided to go off of my anti-depressants. Been on them about a year and a half. Started taking them when hubby and I weren't getting along too well due to his "kid" issues. He has grown children who still act like they are in their teens. However, he seems to have gotten over whatever it was that was causing him to treat them like they are still in their teens and we no longer fight about them and their problems. I'm going to taper off of these - I take two kinds. I started yesterday with 1/2 of each and today took 1/2 of each and will continue this for the rest of the week. I have tapered off before under docs care so I know what to do.
Side effects are supposed to be headaches, nausea, irritability, agitation, extreme fatigue. Just like going on them. Hopefully I will have an easier time this time around. Mixing the alcohol and the drugs couldn't have been good for my body at all so might as well get them all out of my system. Hubby is suspicious - said he thinks I am getting off the meds so that I can keep drinking. Not true. It's all poison to me.
Brent - I have also hidden booze in the house, under the bathroom sink. Actually, I was cleaning out my closets the other day and found two empty wine bottles hidden in my luggage. Don't even remember when it was I drank those, but clearly hid the bottle so my husband would not find it in the trash. Hard to believe the things we do to hide this.
OK - off to work now. Everyone have a great day and hang in there! We can do this!
KC
Laura - I hear ya with your comment about just wanting to be a normal adult drinker. Seems so simple, yet it is very hard. It's the wine I will miss and the wine tastings and the wine dinners, and the trips to Napa Valley.
So friends, a double whammy for me. I have decided to go off of my anti-depressants. Been on them about a year and a half. Started taking them when hubby and I weren't getting along too well due to his "kid" issues. He has grown children who still act like they are in their teens. However, he seems to have gotten over whatever it was that was causing him to treat them like they are still in their teens and we no longer fight about them and their problems. I'm going to taper off of these - I take two kinds. I started yesterday with 1/2 of each and today took 1/2 of each and will continue this for the rest of the week. I have tapered off before under docs care so I know what to do.
Side effects are supposed to be headaches, nausea, irritability, agitation, extreme fatigue. Just like going on them. Hopefully I will have an easier time this time around. Mixing the alcohol and the drugs couldn't have been good for my body at all so might as well get them all out of my system. Hubby is suspicious - said he thinks I am getting off the meds so that I can keep drinking. Not true. It's all poison to me.
Brent - I have also hidden booze in the house, under the bathroom sink. Actually, I was cleaning out my closets the other day and found two empty wine bottles hidden in my luggage. Don't even remember when it was I drank those, but clearly hid the bottle so my husband would not find it in the trash. Hard to believe the things we do to hide this.
OK - off to work now. Everyone have a great day and hang in there! We can do this!
KC
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 711
Brent, TB and Sphal, strength to you all going through withdrawals, I know it truly sucks.
KC, hope you feel good when you are all off your meds. You are brave to get off them and quit drinking at the same time!
KC, hope you feel good when you are all off your meds. You are brave to get off them and quit drinking at the same time!
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Thanks y'all, and KC, wow. I wish you the best of luck there.
ANew, you're 100% right--the problem is, I already knew that before I started drinking again. And, I don't think I've ever thougth of liquor as glamorous, to be honest. It started as something to get me through some childhood nights, and became something I just needed, like food or water or air, a long time ago. Rarely drank to excess (well, more than daily dose, I mean), just what I needed to. Now that has changed too, I've overdone it these last two times.
But all of this is part of why I don't understand why this isn't easier. If all it takes is to get rid of the physical dependence, shouldn't it stop having any grip on my after I go through the withdrawals?
The best I can come up with is that it numbed my pain for 20 years and I don't wanna lose any more friends.
Take care
-TB, going to sleep some more, now that it's not freezing cold out there.
ANew, you're 100% right--the problem is, I already knew that before I started drinking again. And, I don't think I've ever thougth of liquor as glamorous, to be honest. It started as something to get me through some childhood nights, and became something I just needed, like food or water or air, a long time ago. Rarely drank to excess (well, more than daily dose, I mean), just what I needed to. Now that has changed too, I've overdone it these last two times.
But all of this is part of why I don't understand why this isn't easier. If all it takes is to get rid of the physical dependence, shouldn't it stop having any grip on my after I go through the withdrawals?
The best I can come up with is that it numbed my pain for 20 years and I don't wanna lose any more friends.
Take care
-TB, going to sleep some more, now that it's not freezing cold out there.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
TB-for awhile it was fear that held me hostage to alcohol. The fear of how I could function, be witty, be at ease, have fun, have energy..how could I be me without it???
It took me along time, and some hard work to realize that.
When the fear of losing EVERYTHING, up to and including my life was in my face...I chose not to be afraid anymore.
That's just how it happened for me...
I just found out my sweet little chihuahua has cancer, and there was nothing they could do..so, while he was under sedation, we made the decision to not let him be in pain anymore.
I am heartbroken....my children will be too. Thankfully my son is coming home tonight to see my daughter play volleyball, and eat with us. We will tell them then...
It took me along time, and some hard work to realize that.
When the fear of losing EVERYTHING, up to and including my life was in my face...I chose not to be afraid anymore.
That's just how it happened for me...
I just found out my sweet little chihuahua has cancer, and there was nothing they could do..so, while he was under sedation, we made the decision to not let him be in pain anymore.
I am heartbroken....my children will be too. Thankfully my son is coming home tonight to see my daughter play volleyball, and eat with us. We will tell them then...
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
ANew, you may have a point there. I've never been sober for very long. I have no idea what I'm like.
So... Into the Great Wide Open (not a country song reference... that I know of).
Guess it's gotta be...
Mighty sorry to hear about the dog. I like dogs. Hope y'all and the children are okay...
TB.
So... Into the Great Wide Open (not a country song reference... that I know of).
Guess it's gotta be...
Mighty sorry to hear about the dog. I like dogs. Hope y'all and the children are okay...
TB.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
Newaugust- Sorry about your puppy. Losing a pet is never easy! I hope you stay strong!
TB- I am sorry for what you are going through and know the detox sucks. I am going through it too. How big is your town? Mine is pretty small too. 20,000 people.
Sphal- Best of luck getting to the meeting. Let us all know how it goes! Sounds like you have a great support system. An understanding hubby and a wonderful mom and dad. You are blessed. I am doing this alone without anyone outside of SR knowing. I think I am covering it well. I am dizzy, headache, tight muscles, pounding heart, etc. I wonder how I am out functioning in public, but I am doing it. With a smile on my face.
I have come to the conclusion that this detox is not making me MISS alcohol, it is making me pissed AT alcohol! Why would I think I love and need something that causes so much physical and emotional pain? Damn this stuff! Get out of my life forever.
I have contacted a nutritionist that I went to high school with and she is going to put together a healthy eating plan for me, and exercise plan to get me back in shape. I am thinking if I get sober, and lose a few pounds life will really be much more enjoyable!
Hope everyone has a great evening!
Brent
TB- I am sorry for what you are going through and know the detox sucks. I am going through it too. How big is your town? Mine is pretty small too. 20,000 people.
Sphal- Best of luck getting to the meeting. Let us all know how it goes! Sounds like you have a great support system. An understanding hubby and a wonderful mom and dad. You are blessed. I am doing this alone without anyone outside of SR knowing. I think I am covering it well. I am dizzy, headache, tight muscles, pounding heart, etc. I wonder how I am out functioning in public, but I am doing it. With a smile on my face.
I have come to the conclusion that this detox is not making me MISS alcohol, it is making me pissed AT alcohol! Why would I think I love and need something that causes so much physical and emotional pain? Damn this stuff! Get out of my life forever.
I have contacted a nutritionist that I went to high school with and she is going to put together a healthy eating plan for me, and exercise plan to get me back in shape. I am thinking if I get sober, and lose a few pounds life will really be much more enjoyable!
Hope everyone has a great evening!
Brent
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
TB- I believe I hear a country song a brewin!!! Maybe we can write it while we on our road trip....
Bdiddy..that sounds like a great plan. I meant to mention earlier when you were talking about dehydration, I never realized how much that comes into play, especially when
detoxing.It took me a couple of weeks to get my body and this dehydration bit to get in sync.
If you are interested, at the top of the alcoholism board, there are some excerpts from the book "Under the Influence"..it really helped me to understand the process of how
alcohol processes in the body.
OK..TB..are you about ready to take the wheel again?
Bdiddy..that sounds like a great plan. I meant to mention earlier when you were talking about dehydration, I never realized how much that comes into play, especially when
detoxing.It took me a couple of weeks to get my body and this dehydration bit to get in sync.
If you are interested, at the top of the alcoholism board, there are some excerpts from the book "Under the Influence"..it really helped me to understand the process of how
alcohol processes in the body.
OK..TB..are you about ready to take the wheel again?
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
Hi... Hope everyone is well. Still have not had time to carefully read up on everyone -- busy day, but will soon!
So I have been thinking I made a good decision. I love wine, but it doesn't love me. (Did someone else already coin that?) My new sober date is 9.21.09 and it's not very dramatic because there was no coming off a bender, no detox, not even a hangover to recover from. Just the (sober) realization of what is best for me and my body. Perhaps because the decision was made completely sober and not after a bad hangover it will mean more to me.
BTW, happy fall to those of us in the Northern Hemisphere! One of my favorite seasons!!!
So I have been thinking I made a good decision. I love wine, but it doesn't love me. (Did someone else already coin that?) My new sober date is 9.21.09 and it's not very dramatic because there was no coming off a bender, no detox, not even a hangover to recover from. Just the (sober) realization of what is best for me and my body. Perhaps because the decision was made completely sober and not after a bad hangover it will mean more to me.
BTW, happy fall to those of us in the Northern Hemisphere! One of my favorite seasons!!!
Meow
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 1,585
Hi all. Just checking in.
First (((Anew))) It is so hard to lose a beloved pet.
Well, I tried the one glass of wine experiment. You know, can I have just one glass of wine? Failed. Has one glass of wine at the reception, then more wine at dinner, then beer in the hospitality suite. (I had fun, too, which is worse!) I don't expect to get through tonight without drinking. I'll go back on the wagon tomorrow.
Spa today was really nice. Huge whirlpool, dry sauna, steam room, massage. I really enjoyed it. Now, dinner and entertainment in an hour, then home tomorrow.
Take care all - hang tough! (Unlike me )
First (((Anew))) It is so hard to lose a beloved pet.
Well, I tried the one glass of wine experiment. You know, can I have just one glass of wine? Failed. Has one glass of wine at the reception, then more wine at dinner, then beer in the hospitality suite. (I had fun, too, which is worse!) I don't expect to get through tonight without drinking. I'll go back on the wagon tomorrow.
Spa today was really nice. Huge whirlpool, dry sauna, steam room, massage. I really enjoyed it. Now, dinner and entertainment in an hour, then home tomorrow.
Take care all - hang tough! (Unlike me
)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
Hello Purplecat- sorry to hear that you are not doing as well as you had hoped. Tough isn't it? I know you will get this? How many days sober did you have before this little occurrence? Obviously you are on vacation? Good for you! Hang in there, and we will be here for you when you get ready to get past this.
I am worried about Breakfree (Melissa). She hasn't posted for a few days on here. I know she said she wanted to spend less time on-line, but since she hasn't posted at ALL makes me a bit curious. Melissa, check in if you are around!
Here's to another sober evening tonight! WAH HOO!!!
I am worried about Breakfree (Melissa). She hasn't posted for a few days on here. I know she said she wanted to spend less time on-line, but since she hasn't posted at ALL makes me a bit curious. Melissa, check in if you are around!
Here's to another sober evening tonight! WAH HOO!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I'm really sorry for all the suffering here right now guys - especially Anew and your dog
and for those of you withdrawing, and those testing the waters again.
It's pretty clear to me the thing that really bites isn't the physical dependence - thats over in 3 or 4 days - it's the psychological and emotional dependence...the way we build our entire lives - inside and out - around alcohol....and the pressure we feel of not being 'normal' when we're no longer drinking.
For me...once I reached the point of acceptance that I was an alcoholic and I was doing myself harm EVERY time I ingested alcohol...I started to move forward.
It took a lot to get there tho - so we all get it, you know?
just... don't give up!
lolD
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
PC-get your arse back in the van...along with TJ-(glad to see you here again)...
You all know the drill...and failure is not an option!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK..so much for the tough love approach.
BreakFree....missing you too!
Thanks for the words about my dear PePe...he found us several years ago. Looked just like the Taco Bell Dog. He would sing along with a harmonica, and chase his tail...good entertainment. He was a Mamas boy..as I rescued him off the street in front of our house. I was a few months sober then back in 2003. Except for the nights I wasn't home, he slept with me..hubby says he was my "butt tumor" as he would curl up beside me. He is better now...singing and chasing his tail with no pain.
You all know the drill...and failure is not an option!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK..so much for the tough love approach.
BreakFree....missing you too!
Thanks for the words about my dear PePe...he found us several years ago. Looked just like the Taco Bell Dog. He would sing along with a harmonica, and chase his tail...good entertainment. He was a Mamas boy..as I rescued him off the street in front of our house. I was a few months sober then back in 2003. Except for the nights I wasn't home, he slept with me..hubby says he was my "butt tumor" as he would curl up beside me. He is better now...singing and chasing his tail with no pain.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
TJ-this year when I stepped back into insanity, I tried to moderate. I was able to for
a short period of time...and when I say short, I mean maybe 3 weeks total. I had fun once or twice during that time.
It just didn't work, period. I have tried this everyway possible. I almost feel like I have spent more time thinking about making my drinking somehow, work, somehow, being different then the truth.
The truth is, once I start, in a matter of time, I won't be a one or two glass of wine, or one or two beers kinda gal. I will drink until bedtime, or pass out. I will endanger my life by drinking that much. I will undoubtedly say or do something completely stupid and out of character to me. I will be a crappy wife, mother, sister, friend, worker...person. I can't give anything my all because booze will have it, if I drink.
I have accepted those facts, and know I won't drink. There is much relief in my acceptance of it, for me. I don't romance what I think alcohol can do for me. I accept what it actually does to me.
Don't know if this helps anyone...just sharing my journey...its not always an easy one...
a short period of time...and when I say short, I mean maybe 3 weeks total. I had fun once or twice during that time.
It just didn't work, period. I have tried this everyway possible. I almost feel like I have spent more time thinking about making my drinking somehow, work, somehow, being different then the truth.
The truth is, once I start, in a matter of time, I won't be a one or two glass of wine, or one or two beers kinda gal. I will drink until bedtime, or pass out. I will endanger my life by drinking that much. I will undoubtedly say or do something completely stupid and out of character to me. I will be a crappy wife, mother, sister, friend, worker...person. I can't give anything my all because booze will have it, if I drink.
I have accepted those facts, and know I won't drink. There is much relief in my acceptance of it, for me. I don't romance what I think alcohol can do for me. I accept what it actually does to me.
Don't know if this helps anyone...just sharing my journey...its not always an easy one...
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