Living in Sobriety-Part 6
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
How sad that is Nel. These children want so much to please us and in the grips of our addiction, we think of no one but ourselves. I mean you still care and love your kids, but the drugs/alcohol come first, where it should be the other way around. I was reading a thread today on here, Intervention-Bret , let me tell you, that was one sad story, kids begging dad to get help and him pushing them away, so defiant, that he could do it on his own, be the first one who didn't need a rehab. You could actually understand where his head was at. I blamed everyone and everything for why I had to use drugs.
You know you sharing your story reminded me of a long time ago, I was in hospital for some surgery and this girl was in next bed. Let me tell you she was so beautiful, I mean such beautiful features, but she was suffering from another disease, anorexia. This beautiful girl was an outstanding artist, she would draw while in the bed. She was only 70 lbs, so sad, they would come in and just want her to eat, they would give her milkshakes but she just couldn't eat or drink anything. Her body was shutting down. I often do wonder if she made it.
You know you sharing your story reminded me of a long time ago, I was in hospital for some surgery and this girl was in next bed. Let me tell you she was so beautiful, I mean such beautiful features, but she was suffering from another disease, anorexia. This beautiful girl was an outstanding artist, she would draw while in the bed. She was only 70 lbs, so sad, they would come in and just want her to eat, they would give her milkshakes but she just couldn't eat or drink anything. Her body was shutting down. I often do wonder if she made it.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
To all of you who have kids who care about you: I'm glad your kids care about you. Mine don't. Please stop telling me about "happy kids around the dinner table" cause my life isn't like that. I won't be posting her anymore cause I'm sick of being told to "stop being a victim". I didn't CHOOSE this life, it chose me, and I have to live it.
If my kids found me unconsicous they'd call the hearse, not the ambulance, if I were of no use to them anymore. I won't be posting her anymore cause I AM dying in sobriety, not living. I'm just existing.
I notice when Ro (or anyone else) is having problems, it's all "hearts and flowers" and love, but with me, it's just "stop being a victim".
So I'll stop being a victim, I won't post here anymore and damage your wonderful "living in sobriety" life. I don't belong here so I won't take up anymore space. I've had enough of your happy lives. Mine isn't happy so I'll not come here anymore. A meeting a day isn't going to fix my life. Nothing will 'fix' it.:sorry
If my kids found me unconsicous they'd call the hearse, not the ambulance, if I were of no use to them anymore. I won't be posting her anymore cause I AM dying in sobriety, not living. I'm just existing.
I notice when Ro (or anyone else) is having problems, it's all "hearts and flowers" and love, but with me, it's just "stop being a victim".
So I'll stop being a victim, I won't post here anymore and damage your wonderful "living in sobriety" life. I don't belong here so I won't take up anymore space. I've had enough of your happy lives. Mine isn't happy so I'll not come here anymore. A meeting a day isn't going to fix my life. Nothing will 'fix' it.:sorry
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Oh nel, that is such a a sad story and yours, too Bee. Both my father and brother died of alcoholism. For whatevr reason, the just couldn't "get it". So, so sad.
I was thinking the other day about the "recipe for sobriety"... Whichever path one chooses (and I feel there are many that work), I think the bottom line is that one has to accept, really accept (surrender) that drinking is NOT an option. When I was having a very hard time, I was speaking with someone who told me drinking "just wasn't worth it anymore". I didn't understand him then, but I believe that I do now. I think that I have said this before, but that dreadful despair "the morning after" keeps me sober today. The hangover (physical) fades with time, but the memory of my feelings is very, very, vivid, Thank God. I was also thinking that alcoholism is "my cross to bear". I am very blessed in all other areas of my life. Other people have cancer, or mental or physical limitations and that is their cross to bear. In dealing with whatever limitations, we grow. I have said in meetings that in a funny way, I am grateful for being an alcoholic. It has given me the opportunity (forced me) to look at myself in ways that I wouldn't have otherwise. And it has given me spirituality. For that, I am eternally grateful.
Calamari...the one food I'm allergic to....
Oh, and speaking of gratitude, I am very grateful for having found this thread and you and Nel'sBells, Bee.
You guys and your weeds...(very funny Rusty!)
I was thinking the other day about the "recipe for sobriety"... Whichever path one chooses (and I feel there are many that work), I think the bottom line is that one has to accept, really accept (surrender) that drinking is NOT an option. When I was having a very hard time, I was speaking with someone who told me drinking "just wasn't worth it anymore". I didn't understand him then, but I believe that I do now. I think that I have said this before, but that dreadful despair "the morning after" keeps me sober today. The hangover (physical) fades with time, but the memory of my feelings is very, very, vivid, Thank God. I was also thinking that alcoholism is "my cross to bear". I am very blessed in all other areas of my life. Other people have cancer, or mental or physical limitations and that is their cross to bear. In dealing with whatever limitations, we grow. I have said in meetings that in a funny way, I am grateful for being an alcoholic. It has given me the opportunity (forced me) to look at myself in ways that I wouldn't have otherwise. And it has given me spirituality. For that, I am eternally grateful.
Calamari...the one food I'm allergic to....
Oh, and speaking of gratitude, I am very grateful for having found this thread and you and Nel'sBells, Bee.
You guys and your weeds...(very funny Rusty!)
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
Originally Posted by Rowan 
You oughta see MY weeds! Mine are the biggest!
And it is raining cats and dogs right now, thunder, lightning, a full blown storm, now how am I suppose to mow and pull weeds tomorrow!!
Doesn't Mother Nature know I got work to do tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
It rained and thundered here earlier - supposed to be cool and partly cloudy tomorrow. Glad I got the bulk of the yard work done - now I gotta clean my effing house in case my campfire is rained out LOL doesn't it just figure?
Yeah 11,000 posts - I been here a long time, though. Check out Stone and Parentrecovers those two do a lot of post padding by the looks of their post counts. I suspect cheating.
Yeah 11,000 posts - I been here a long time, though. Check out Stone and Parentrecovers those two do a lot of post padding by the looks of their post counts. I suspect cheating.
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