Tazman53

Sounds very familiar to me DK, when I first quit drinking things got worse, not better! Borderline insanity is what I would have called it, I was going crazy for a drink and going crazy to not drink! I am an alcoholic so I need a solution, my solution for my alcoholism for many years was alcohol, when I was drinking I was semi okay, when I was not drinking I was angry, irratable, anxious, tired, etc........

I found a solution for my alcoholism other then alcohol in the program of AA, the solution involved a whole lot more then going to meetings though.

DK I am glad you are staying sober, I have a feeling that things might change for you if you found a program of any type and started to really work it. Get involved in things, get out of your self and work with other people.

doorknob

Yeah, Paxil is an SSRI like Celexa. I'm gonna call my therapist today and see if she can get a hold of the nurse practitioner. I've been trying to ride out the side effects, but it's been a month and I still feel like I have jet-lag (or atleast what I've heard that feels like). I've always tolerated Prozac quite well, never really had any side effects from it, so I think I'll go back to that, if anything. I'm taking SSRI's for OCD, not for depression, and they really don't do a lot, which is part of the reason I haven't stuck with them in the past. Although, Prozac has seemed to give me a little bit of a mood lift in the past. I'm just tired of being sober and still feeling like a zombie... LOL!

I'm glad you appreciate my posts, Allport. It's nice to feel needed!

doorknob

Hey, Taz. I'm not really craving a drink, although getting high has been coming to mind lately. This really isn't uncharted territory for me, and usually I would be bouncing off the walls, and be thinking about the next thing I need to get done. The only variable that has changed is the medication that I'm on, which is why I highly suspect it is the culprit.

I would actually like to get to more meetings, but it means an hour and a half on the road and money that I don't have because I'm unemployed, which is what I was mostly referring to when I said my life was "in the *******". That, and being stuck in this bum !@#% town, which makes it harder to fight the OCD and anxiety and go out and attempt to work. I've applied for General Assistance disability and see an independent psychologist on Thursday. I've been hitting a meeting when I have to drive into Spokane for something else, although I did drive in for an Atheist & Agnostic meeting on Sunday morning. I plan on continuing to make that meeting, because while it still focuses on making changes in thinking and behavior, it takes a Humanist perspective and is free of God talk and prayer. Finally a place where I really fit...

doorknob

I have to go to Spokane today to see a psychologist for DSHS and was gonna try to hit an AA meeting while in town. Should I announce my 30 days?

desertdonna

You betcha!

Good going, Paul.

Onwards and upwards.

Hugs,

Donna

Tazman53

Heck yea DK, 30 days is awesome!!!!!

Ananda

Hope you got a chip DK!!!!! 7

doorknob

The meeting time was too close to my appointment time... and the psych eval was horrible. Memory tests triggered OCD symptoms which triggered an anxiety attack and then an emotional breakdown. I almost got locked up...

doorknob

Where is the blowing your brains out emoticon???

This one really doesn't do how I feel justice...

Ago

then you did the right thing and called another alcoholic

remember a balanced diet isn't coffee and red bulls.

Can you make a meeting tomorrow?

doorknob

Yeah... tomorrow evening.

stone

Hey Paul, hope you are doing OK now?

doorknob

Thanks, bro. Honestly, I'm still feeling wicked depressed. It's 5:30 in the morning and I should still be sleeping. It sucks, because I was feeling great on my way into Spokane and starting with a parking fiasco (office was downtown, parking meters and I had no coins), I just spiralled into an abyss. After giving my whole depressing life story, they gave me a battery of memory tests which I failed miserably at. Then I fell apart like a baby in front of an intelligent and attractive young woman. I wanted to be mad at her, but I couldn't. She was way to nice. There was no one to be mad at but myself. I just wanted to die. Now I'm crying again...

Ago

going to get coffee call me if you want I'll grab my phone

:atv

Tazman53

Paul hang tough Bro, call folks. I will be leaving for the weekend in a few so I will chat with you on Monday, I hope things are going better for you. Don't Red Bulls and the like make folks a bit...... EXTREME!!!!! LOL I know I have drank to much coffee and gotten pretty weirded out, perhaps cutting back on them or eliminating them would help..... speeding has never been benificail for me or folks around me!

stone

Did the tests make you feel dumb or something cos I can tell you that you aren't. It is obvious from your posts that you are intelligent.

Pot effs up the memory, but it comes back after a while.

Mood swings and extreme emotions are all normal when you first quit Paul, in fact they are real extreme at about 30 days or so.

Just hang in there, things will improve soon.

doorknob

Yeah, man. They made me feel like a total ******. I wanted to run out...

Thanks, bro. This is the first time in the last month that I've really wanted to smoke and drink...

Ananda

DK...sorry you are feeling so bad....

You are not your "test score".....tests are usually ridiculus indicators of anything in my opinion except who takes test well or if a person has one of those photographic memories.

I think for me crying is a good thing...I use to cry all the time but the last 10 years I just don't often, and it really is helpful to let the physical reactions to an emotion get released.

please keep yourself safe from the substances and use us instead...we are pretty good substitute! :ghug3 (wish there was a more serious hug option in the emotocons)

Dee74

hang in there Paul - s'ok


D

bugsworth

DK...You are strong...you will prove this to yourself..screw the tests.