jazpoppy

Hi. I finally get a chance to check in here again. I have been out struggling with much pain. I have had to do boco counceling to keep my head straight. I have 2 bulging disks in my back, some arthritis in my spine and acute tendonitis in my ankles (both of them). I have been staying sober by the grace of god and only taking medications as prescribed with the help of friends, sponsor, and boyfriend. I have been honestly sober (no little drinky-poos here and there and no little pill binges) for nearly 3 months. It isn't easy,and I feel that my HP is testing me, but I have a lot of support. I have missed posting here, but honestly have been too depressed and too sore to sit at the computer for quite a while. I will try to check in more often because I am starting to come out of the dark now. Luv you all!!

Jocelyn

sherbear5104

Welcome back. Congrats on almost 3 months. Sorry to hear of all your pain, hope you start feeling better...sherry

Gooch

good to see you Jaz!

Congrats on your 3 months.

Missed hearing from you .. hope you feel decent enough to check in more often.

ashley80

Hi, Jaz! Remember me? three months is awesome! Congrats, and sorry about your pain - I hope it's getting better.
Ashley

jazpoppy

Gooch, Sher,and Ash:

Good to from you! I believe my HP is going to help me a lot. I am going to a pain clinic today for the first time. I am hoping to get a lot of questions answered. How are you guys doing?

ashley80

I am on day 2. But I am here, alive, and have HOPE. Good luck at the doc and stay in touch!
Ashley

eddie z.

((((Jocelyn)))),
Great to have you back. Sorry you're still struggling with so much pain. But it sounds like you've got a good program going on now and are doing pretty well. Congrats on your time!! Do stay in touch.
Love, Eddie :tongue2:

sherbear5104

I hope all went well at the doc today. I feel real good tonight. Just came back from a great meeting, bon fire and all!

jazpoppy

I am nervous right now. I am getting an epidural shot in my lower back today (actually in about 2 hours!). I have heard that this really helps out a lot. I have been put back on Ultram 1-2 pills 4 times a day. I was on Ultram for about 2 months (it didn't cause any cravings or problems for me luckily) but decided to get off of it last month. So I went the last month with severe uncontrollable pain so much that my dr. gave me a small script for codeine 3. I actually never liked codeine, it makes me itchy and has given me a rash in the past. I only took it as needed and less then prescribed, but asked them to put me back on Ultram because it feels safer to me. I just hope that this shot or series of 3 shots will end the pain for a while so that I don't have to rely on ANY MEDS! That would be nice. Cuz even though I don't like codeine very much, it still had an effect on me and I don't feel comfortable with that,so I did get rid of the rest of them. I just don't want to go back to where I was last year. Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks soooo much! Luv U all!!!

Jaz

ashley80

Good for you on getting rid of the codeine. Ultram can be addicting, but if you are ok with it, that's great. Just be careful.

No advice here, I still struggle. NA and AA have saved my life. Have you ever tried them?
Ashley

eddie z.

Jocelyn,
I wish you the best with the epidural! I hope it helps. Sometimes they work; sometimes they don't. Mine unfortunately did not, but all they put in was a steroid. Do you know what they're injecting? I hear local anaesthetics can work wonders.

And I agree with Ashley about the rest. NA saves my life EVERY DAY!
Love, Eddie

jazpoppy

They are injecting a cortisone steroid. I am still sore now. I was OK during the procedure. I am also very tired right now. I was offered a prescription for hydrocodone 5/500 to go with the Ultram for breakthrough pain. My pain is severe enough to keep me in bed some days and other days I can go for a walk after work. I struggle with the "i don't deserve pain medicaion" mindset. I haven't used any of the hydrocodone because it is supposed to be strong than the codeine. I attend AA meetings a couple of times a week and participate in sober events. I have no desire to get drunk or high for fun right now, but am still concerned. My question really is: Do I deserve to be treated for my pain with long term pain meds? I have help from my boyfriend and sponsor with dispensing and counting my current Ultrams to make sure that I am on schedule, one of them is holding the hydrocodone in case I need it. Is that a good plan or should I suffer with the pain? I am confused. My addiction to narcotics was short lived (about 3-4 months) I have been an alcoholic since I was 12 years old, that was my main problem until I got into the narcs last year after I seperated from my ex husband. Help! Thanx again!

Jaz

eddie z.

I think the question should be, "Is it SAFE for me to take narcotics?" Of course you DESERVE to have your pain treated. But obviously narcotics are pretty risky business for you. Your precautions sound pretty good to me, but it would be even better if you could do without. It can take a couple of months to get your endorphins back. If you could get through that, you might not need any more narcs. Hang in there!!
Love, Eddie

jazpoppy

I really appreciate the good advice I am receiving from you guys. The steriod shot did not work, and I had extreme aggitation for 3 days following the procedure. I am going to opt for surgery to remove the bad disk and have L4/L5 fused if I can. My dr gave me these choices: Keep trying physical therapy (but because it is mechanical disk failure, therapy won't reach optimum pain relief), finish the series of shots (i really don't like the side effects of the shot), or have surgery. I am thinking about surgery because of my age (27) I would not want to be in chronic pain the rest of my life, and I DO NOT want to rely on medications. If I get surgery, the dr says that I could be back on my feet and relatively pain-free in a couple of months. That sounds good to me. I have done a lot of research on long term use of Ultram and I am not happy with what I found. I do not feel phsycologically addicted (not craving ultram) but I do not want to be physically addicted either (NO MORE DETOXES FOR ME!). I also decided to get rid of the vicodin, not only because it is dangerous for me, but I have had several "friends" ask me what pain meds I am on and if they can have some. I am worried about being robbed and then being responsible for feeding someone else's addiction whether I wanted to or not. I didn't find any better relief from the pain with vicodin than I did with Ultram anyways. I won't lie though, it was hard to give up the bottle of pills, I needed help to do so. Anyways, love you all and thanks again.

Love Jaz

Gooch

(((((Jocelyn)))))

Bless you. Many of us have had the same struggle with trying to settle that pain vs. taking prescribed pain relief medication controversy that the commitee inour head debates back and forth.

There are going to be pro's and cons with any decision you make. I know a few friends who have had surgery on their backs. It has alleviated some of the pain but comes with a loss of range of motion. You seem to be making the effort to become as informed as you can about your choices. Do you have the opportunity to get a 2nd opinion from another doctor?

Learn as much as you can and ask your higher power to tell you what is best for you.

You will be in our prayers.

eddie z.

Jaz,
I was never a candidate for surgery or any other procedure, so perhaps you are fortunate that you have something "operable." When is the big event? I hope all goes well with it. And congrats on ditching the pills! Bigtime. Stay in touch!
Love, Eddie