Paulie

LOL - welcome Joe.

Garry - I am still saying WOW, and a part of me is very jealous...LOL from one addict to another.

kj3880

Lol, shoes...I'm ashamed to admit, my addiction is vintage dolls and doll accessories. Especially the Crissy dolls. Lately I've been bidding on dollhouse books, too. Oh Well, for about 5-10 dollars a month, I'm really thrilled when I win something on e-bay. You should see my doll shelf! I now have all the dolls I didn't get but wanted when I was 10.
kj

Paulie

That is cool!

Gmoney

You see... that's what I'm talking about. It isn't what we become obsessive & compulsive about, its that we can identify with it and admit to it. When we're able to recognize our disease showing up in other areas, we have the tools to combat it. Admitting I have a problem with a certain behavior opens the door.

It's been 3 months since I've bought sneakers, but the catalog comes every month. I don't need any new sneakers, but if I look through the catalog, I'm sure to find something I want. Notice..."I want" is the start (self-centeredness). If I think about it too long, I'll convince myself that I need them (obsession). Once I'm convinced, I'll buy...and I rarely buy one pair because I'll tell myself buying 2 or more saves on S&H (compulsion & rationalization). This process can be immediate or happen in a week or two. Is it the disease of addiction? I'd say so.

Over the past few months, when the catalog comes, I don't even look inside. I throw it away or rip it to pieces. My next move is to cancel my subscription. Otherwise, I have a reservation...and sad to say -I do. But I'm working on it. Is that a cop out?

kj3880

hmmm. I don't know. All of us deserve to have some pleasure in life. It's ok, imo, to spend a few bucks on what you love if it truly brings you joy. Now if I had hundreds of dolls, cluttering up the house and never played with 'em with my nieces, made 'em outfits, or anything. Or Garry, say, if you had many shoes you didn't even wear, that could be a problem maybe. But can't there be a compromise with it (there can't be a drug compromise, but maybe for other stuff we like that doesn't hurt us or our budget?) What if I had, say, a budget of $20 a month for doll things? That would be ok, if I had no trouble sticking to it, wouldn't it? I think I have more fun bidding on stuff than I do winning. I actually only win maybe 1 out of 20 things I try to get, so my budget is usually well under. What do you guys think about a doll budget?
kj

Gmoney

KJ, there's nothing wrong with having hobbies, recreation or healthy habits...please don't misunderstand me. You said you had an "addiction" to vintage dolls, so maybe I misunderstood YOU. To be honest, I really don't think you have a problem with buying dolls or bidding on ebay. Only you know that.

Bingo!! Give the lady a vintage doll!! (LOL!!!) KJ, I'm talking about, what we call in NA, "acting out" in my disease. I'm not talking about moderation or spending within a budget. Mind you...your story may not resemble my own, but there was a time when I included buying drugs in my budget - that was when I was a "functional addict." But, yes, I have sneakers I haven't worn. And there have been times when I've bought sneakers when I still had new ones still in the box!!! I've got 2 pairs of Stacy Adams dress shoes I never wore (from last year). For me, it isn't so much about whether I can afford them, because I have a pretty good job and make a decent wage. I have what they call "disposable income" so I haven't got to the point where my bills don't get paid or I don't have food. LOL!

Trust me...I've heard stories of homelessness, divorce and incarceration as a result of "acting out" and unmanageability. Remote controlled cars, scratch-off lottery tickets, jewelry, gambling, stealing, cheating...you name it. The problem is, just as our drug addiction progressed and we couldn't see it (until it was too late), progression can occur in other areas. So, IMO, it isn't always about the drugs.

kj3880

yep you're right Garry. Hey, I used to budget drugs too. Yikes! and my first ex-husband (now that is a f'ed up phrase, isn't it) was addicted to comic books and baseball cards. He spent so much of my money on them that I ended up leaving with the kids, true story. He never touched a drink or a drug, so I guess it can be anything! He always used to say that he would never try a drink because he knew it was in him to be an alcoholic. Maybe he was right?
kj