Can you stay sober if you hate yourself? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 07-09-2019, 08:39 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Can you stay sober if you hate yourself?


Self explanatory. Can you?
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Old 07-09-2019, 10:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
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You can definitely do it.
In fact for me, it was an absolute necessity ... to do the inventory work of uncovering the deep-rooted self-loathing I recognized inside me, when I finally hit the reality of my condition - and how I had been truly behaving for such a long time.

The 12 Steps - they absolutely work a miracle - when they are worked.

RDBplus3 ... now - Happy, Joyous and FREE ... and I KNOW U Can B 2
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Old 07-09-2019, 10:37 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I hated myself when I was drinking. After I'd been sober for a while I noticed I didn't hate myself like I used to do. I had to get sober first to stop hating myself.
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Old 07-09-2019, 11:49 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I hated myself when I was drinking too. When I got sober and worked my recovery program, this all changed. I like myself now and am very comfortable in my own skin.
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Old 07-09-2019, 12:46 PM   #5 (permalink)
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We are always growing and changing inside
and out of ourselves before, during and after
our addiction.

Having a program of recovery as a guideline
to follow to help us remain sober can help
us achieve many wonderful fulfilling gifts
in life to enjoy and be grateful for.

Also, incorporating help from our doctors
for mental, emotional, physcological problems
is also there to help us achieve a healthier
mind and body as we go thru those changes
in life.

Can I remain sober if I hate myself? Well....hate
is definitely a strong word to use or say and have
to remind myself that from time to time mainly
because, I used it just this morning as I was sharing
with my husband.


We had treated ourselves to pizza over the
weekend, which I know darn good and well
how unhealthy it is for my own well being.


I can honestly share that yes I do love many
of those unhealthy foods pretty much all my
life yet they are not good for me. A lesson I
continue to learn every single day as I remain
sober for the past 28 yrs.


Yes, I have remain sober for a many one days
at a time and have gone thru many changes
and haven't found it necessary to pick up a
drink of poison to numb or kill myself over it.

Sure, I have good days and down days and
on a daily bases have to maintain my sobriety
and life on continuous bases incorporating
many resourceful recovery and life tools to help me
stay the course as well as stay healthy and sober.


Yep, after eating that pizza, I knew I had gained
some unwanted weight and yes it made me look
at myself with disgust. But not so much that I
need to do harm or get drunk over it.

I do have that guideline in recovery to help
me work thru daily situations that can get
my feathers ruffled and need to vent over
them and get back on track.

When I eat healthy everyday and add some
exercise with it for a long period of time, then
I see positive results and definitely love myself
for it. But when I choose to eat food I know are
not good for me, I have to be ready for what
the results will be on me.


We are all human and yes we all make mistakes
or make unhealthy choices in our lives. Learn
from those choices and the consequences that
follow help us learn from them and seek out
better ways to avoid them if we dont like those
negative results.


One day of pizza and ice cream set me back
a few days but im right back on track eating
healthy and im still sober and in a better frame
of mind because of it.
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I turn my will and life over to the care of a Power greater than I on a daily basis for guidance, care and protection.
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Old 07-09-2019, 05:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
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You don't deserve to be hated by yourself or anyone else.
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Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation...This means YOU Silentrun!
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Old 07-10-2019, 07:10 AM   #7 (permalink)
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In the process of getting and staying sober I came to love and appreciate myself, it happened and I couldn't stop it
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Old 07-10-2019, 08:58 AM   #8 (permalink)
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It is my experience that people who work the steps of AA can get beyond self hatred for things they have done in the past. The AA program specifically deals with this. There is also self hatred that can take place due to depression and/or self esteem issues. While the steps can also be helpful in these situations seeking out a mental health professional is advisable.
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Old 07-28-2019, 02:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Yes, I'm living proof of that. You take the action -- of getting sober -- and feelings change, not the other way around. Alcoholic drinking will only keep you mired in self hatred and self pity.
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Old 07-28-2019, 05:44 PM   #10 (permalink)
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How are you going Amnesiac?

D
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Old 08-03-2019, 04:37 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Gosh this is an excellent question I am 10 months sober and previously 3 years sober... I hate myself... it's a daily struggle...
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Old 08-03-2019, 05:32 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Staying sober made it impossible to hate myself because in sobriety I learned to stop my destructive negative behaviors which is what I actually hated. As I stopped the behaviors that I hated, my good points came out of hibernation and began to prosper. The basic product, the real me, was not a bad one, it was just overshadowed by the negative aspects of my alcoholism.
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Old 08-05-2019, 11:01 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I grew up in a very shaming, and alcoholic, environment, so I had horrible self-esteem.

Then I found alcohol and drugs as a young man and, for a while, I felt better about myself (when i was drinking and using).

But I had these deep-down feelings of worthlessness, which were rather accurate (since all i did in college was drink and make bad grades).

The more I drank and used, the worse was my conduct and my lack of consideration to others.

When I got sober, I was forced to do an inventory of myself, ask God to remove my shortcomings (there were plenty and there are still plenty left) and make amends to the people i had harmed.

These actions brought about a change in my psyche.

I try to learn and do God's will for me everyday.

When I do, I feel very good about myself.

My self-esteem, and my behavior, have improved immeasurably since I've been sober, although there remains ample room for improvement.

I think that you can experience that same psychological metamorphosis if you get and stay sober.

Please select and work a trusted plan of recovery and let us know what we can do to help you.
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Old 08-06-2019, 11:17 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Lately I don't like myself very much, but at least, being sober, I'm not creating any new reasons to dislike myself.
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Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley

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Old 08-06-2019, 12:48 PM   #15 (permalink)
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^^^ that.

Thanks, least.
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se necesita un poco de gracia
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Old 08-06-2019, 01:00 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I don’t know if it matters that much. Whether you like or dislike yourself, if your continued sanity depends on leaving drinking behind it probably will be done. Even if people do not like themselves that much the natural instinct for survival will probably dictate the action.
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Old 08-06-2019, 02:33 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I think to quit drinking for good you have to come around to the idea that you are worth the effort and care required to live soberly, and that you deserve every bit of health and happiness a life without alcohol has to offer. This is much easier to accept when you don't hate yourself quite so much.

I love myself enough to decide, every day, that to drink would be bad for me and that I deserve better than that. I have to remind myself all the time, but this new way of thinking has allowed alcohol and I to peacefully coexist.
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