I grew up in a very shaming, and alcoholic, environment, so I had horrible self-esteem.
Then I found alcohol and drugs as a young man and, for a while, I felt better about myself (when i was drinking and using).
But I had these deep-down feelings of worthlessness, which were rather accurate (since all i did in college was drink and make bad grades).
The more I drank and used, the worse was my conduct and my lack of consideration to others.
When I got sober, I was forced to do an inventory of myself, ask God to remove my shortcomings (there were plenty and there are still plenty left) and make amends to the people i had harmed.
These actions brought about a change in my psyche.
I try to learn and do God's will for me everyday.
When I do, I feel very good about myself.
My self-esteem, and my behavior, have improved immeasurably since I've been sober, although there remains ample room for improvement.
I think that you can experience that same psychological metamorphosis if you get and stay sober.
Please select and work a trusted plan of recovery and let us know what we can do to help you.