SomeoneSomwhere

That you could just...sleep for...however long it takes for things to stop being crappy. And for however long it'll be until you're happy again?

Sometimes I'll be crossing the street or driving a car or something...and I'll think like...if I were to die I wouldn't care. I don't WANT to die because I want my baby sister to have a big sister and I want my parent to have their daughter but I don't really want to live either. I'm not really living right now anyway. I do sleep a lot but sometimes I just wish I could sleep until things are better, until I'm happy. Living in my dreams is much easier.

I was just wondering if there are other people who feel this way...others who don't want to die but just want to like...sleep and wait things out until it's better

Lenina

Someone,

I do understand and have that same feeling at times in my life. What I had to do was take action. I started doing some volunteer work at a food bank. I got involved in some projects at work. Getting out of my own head really helped. Meeting new people helped too.

I had to make the effort and at the time, I didn't know if I was able to but I did.

Look around for some opportunities to do some good in the world. Volunteer, take a class that's interesting for you, check out your local museums. Your local city college may have many interesting events for free.

I hope this helps!

Love,

Lenina

tsukiko

I wasted half my life wishing and then suliking at the realisation that my wishes didn't materliaise before I realised wishes can come true...but only if I get off my arse and make them happen.

Even now, I joke that my 'death drive' is stronger than my drive for life. I've never minded the idea of dying, even though I've been faced with the dead bodies of loved ones and had near death experiences...but, I'm not dead and I'm not about to kill myself so, while I'm here, **** it...lets see what I can do with this life thing, if only to kill time before time kills me...lol

First off, I avoid anything that's easy...I know I can do easy, I know I can sleep, I know I can wallow, I know I can do depression and addiction and all that stuff. I know I can screw myself over in those ways, so now, if I'm going to live making life hard for myself, I'm going to at least make the obsticles ones I don't know whether I can jump...why not, it passes the time and sometimes even puts a smile on my face and the faces of those around me...even if its a smile from laughing so hard at failing spectacularly

Bamboozle

Hello, SS.

When I feel like that I know it's time to get to therapy and/or change my meds. Take it easy.

Lilya

Hi Someone,

I agree with Bamboozle.

When I want to sleep until I feel better, I know I´m depressed or anxious. Sleep seems a nice way out of it, but it´s not the case. Usually I get worse.

If you don´t want to live or don´t care one way or the other except for your sister and parents, I would talk to your doctor or a therapist.

It´s good get involved in projects, meet new people and start living. Only you can make it happen. In fact, there are little limits to what you can achieve in life, but it takes work.

Ceres

I've been pretty much just grateful for sleep for a while now. Things happening in life so I think it'll pass eventually. Trying not to isolate.

SomeoneSomwhere

Wow I do NOT remember posting this ! I was drinking at the time. =( Impressed with the fact that I could type considering I was blacked out... But this is really honest about how I feel and it's really nice to know I am not alone

I do have a therapist and I have told her how I feel. We consider these passive thoughts of suicide and we both know I would not seriously try to harm myself.

I got inducted into the national honors society today and my parents were wicked proud. And they brought my baby sister and she cried when I tried to give her to my Mom or her Dad/my Step Dad & that felt good too because I know she loves me and depends on me as her big sister.

I know living for other people isn't the right thing but sometimes the strength we find to survive is born out of our love for other people. And in my case that is where it comes from. I've dealing with a lot of pain and a lot of issues right now. I am going into treatment when school is over but the thing that keeps me holding on are those people who love me and I thank God every day that I have them.

I may not have the love from the one person I need/want it from most but I do have it from a beautiful little girl and two wonderful parents.

Rancorous

Definitely been there, a lot. Sometimes things just are too much to bear. Its an escapist thing I guess.

loveon2legs

When I was actively drinking I felt that way alot...sleeping and dreaming was the best thing...that world was so much better.... now 104 days sober I don't feel that way anymore..it's like a veil has been lifted and I see things in a different way..it's like I was living in a black and white world..and now it's technicolor!!! I agree with rancorous, definetely an escapism of sorts...

pinkgurl87

I understand I feel the same way sometimes. Hang in there. Especially wanting to sleep. I sleep a lot, though the problem is even when I sleep I get dreams of using it's annoying.

MidwestSheRides

How twisted the active-addicted mind is...I remember this exactly because it was probably the darkest point in my life.

I didn't want to die, I really didn't. I just wanted everything to stop and be better. Unfortunately, my wet noodle came up with 'let's go buy a gun, that'll make everything stop', but not equating that to death.

I didn't want to die, but I didn't want to live either.

I had to dry up enough to see that other half clear up and change.