lynnmarie123

I'm glad you are doing better, Lpg! I think coming here daily is a wonderful tool in your toolbox. It is necessary to work on your sobriety every day if you want to succeed.
Keep up the great work!

Lpg

Thanks Lynn, I find it helpful cominf here everyday. I possibly spend too much time here but I feel its all learning and reading which is necessary for me at this stage.

Last night is the first time iv slept soundly since I quit I truly had a great sleep. Sleep is key for me if I don't sleep well my mind goes crazy. The sun is shining and I don't have to be in work till later so going to spend some time in the garden. Today is guna be great
😁

Lpg

lynnmarie123

Ahhh, a fellow gardener. It's so good for the soul.
Relish the good feelings. I find daily gratitude especially helpful on those nights I may have trouble falling asleep. Making a list of all the things I am so grateful for is a good way to end the day.

Lpg

Coming here with honesty I wasnt going to but I need to I feel like a cheat.

Last night I smoked, the last 2 weeks have been torture. I was ready to walk into a pub yesterday my cravings for alcohol have been at an all time high this week. So much so that I took myself to a center that offers therapy for drug and alcohol yesterday. Iv done therapy but was still using weed I don't think I was honest enough about my situation then.

Anyway they have a drop in service on Monday I'll be going to that and they do an assessment to see if I meet the requirements. I'm ashamed of myself for giving in to the weed but I was scared about picking up a drink, I feel this sounds like an excuse.

Hoping therapy will give me the help I badly need. Worried I'm not going to meet requirements and be turned away.

I havent changed my mind on my decision to quit that is still strong in my mind, I need help.

The other thing that didn't help is that I read yesterday that it is now going to be medically prescribed in the UK then went on to read about decriminalisation will possibly come soon after, this gave my AV the biggest treat it needed to start me off.

I'm sad but I'm glad I'm putting things in place to move forward. Please let me get the therapy!!!

Dee74

what was torture about the 2 weeks lpg? no sleep or something else?

D

Lpg

No sleep, anxiety, depressed and just mental torture with cravings. Obsessively thinking about booze and weed. Spoke about it today in a meeting which has helped.

coffeespoon

Lpg, I am also struggling with not smoking pot but have found a couple of things that seem to work for me. Have you picked up any new hobbies or coping techniques to help fill the void and take your mind off cravings? For me the best thing was getting exercise. I’ve never been into exercise, in fact I dreaded the very idea for a long time, but walking and now running have been a real life saver. It’s a natural high that helps with my anxiety and depression, and makes it easier to sleep at night. It takes the edge off my chemically-unbalanced brain. Afterwards I feel happier and more comfortable in my own skin. I started out just walking for 30 min a day. It’s best if you go to the park or somewhere that you can be surrounded by trees and maybe see some wildlife. I read a study once that being in nature triggers more dopamine to be released, and I believe it. Now I actually look forward to my walks.

Also maybe you could look into meditation. What I discovered was that I smoked weed to avoid being in my own head, because I wasn’t comfortable with my thoughts and anxieties. It worked for a while, but then started making me live even deeper in own head, which was a recipe for even greater anxiety and depression. Meditation has helped me deal with unpleasant thoughts and confront my anxieties in a way that lets me breathe easier and not need to reach for the pipe each time I feel antsy.

Anyway, just my two cents, may or may not work for you. Either way, it can help to think in terms of “new things I can do” instead of focusing on “the thing I can never do again” if that makes sense.

Stick with it, you can do this. Hugs and support to you!

Dee74

yeah that's pretty common - the thing is those feelings never last, man.

Things do get better - and thats what I kept telling myself when I got despondent and the voice in my head was telling me that a toke couldn't make things worse...but of course it did.

D

Lpg

Hey coffeespoon sorry for late reply, not been on Sr so often the last few days needed to give myself a little break from posting so often when I wasn't in a good place.

I try to meditate but I struggle to get into the zone, my minds so busy I find it incredibly hard to find the right place that the mind finds meditation, don't know if that makes any sense lol. I will keep trying with it its all learning.

I do light excersice iv started doing short runs in the morning. I will build it up probably something more intense is needed.

Didnt smoke last night, I know I feel remorse from smoking which is a good sign. I just need that last push to kick it for good. Not giving in. How long have you been quit for coffee?

Lpg

Thanks dee, I know it isn't the solution to my anxiety it's just a cover up. I need to deal with the real issues behind my anxiety. Didn't smoke last night, I feel regret when I smoke which helps.

My fiancé has asked me to stop talking to him about addiction, which kind of hurt me cos I'm struggling but I get where he's coming from. My whole life revolves around it. I want to move forward and find happiness and contentment so bad.

Dee74

I obsessed about gettuign high for years, so I obsessed a bout not gettign high for a while too. Eventually things settled down and I got into a new normal - the only place I really think about this stuff now is here.

Hang in there lpg - we'll never get tired if you want to talk or vent here

D