Day 1
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 293
Thank you for the warmth welcome!
I don't intend on stealing Windy's thread, but just a short info:
So today was Day 1 ... it passed, but!!!
I called the dealer in the evening, but he didn't come in the end.
I know that if he came, that I would have smoked.
Sooo ... what does that count for ? A relapse or what ?
I didn't smoked, but I would have if I had it on me.
So I don't know, it doesn't really feel like Day 1, more like cheating.
Thank you!
I don't intend on stealing Windy's thread, but just a short info:
So today was Day 1 ... it passed, but!!!
I called the dealer in the evening, but he didn't come in the end.
I know that if he came, that I would have smoked.
Sooo ... what does that count for ? A relapse or what ?
I didn't smoked, but I would have if I had it on me.
So I don't know, it doesn't really feel like Day 1, more like cheating.
Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 970
just get on back in the saddle - don't worry about tomorrow. Just do today right - that's all that matters right now. Come on, you guys. You'll feel much better in a week - grind out these first few tough days - you CAN do it !
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 402
thanks for the encouragement! I'll let you know how it goes. You are right it is only a few tough days and then so much easier. Have not got to day 1 yet but think I will very soon. how long I can go is another question. I will see how it goes.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Sounds like a big part of you is unsure that you can do this long term.
That's nonsense.
I've seen you rock sobriety WT and I have doubt you can do it again
some times I think it's better to make a day one rather than waiting for the right day - years can go past trust me.
Make a day one Windy
D
That's nonsense.
I've seen you rock sobriety WT and I have doubt you can do it again
some times I think it's better to make a day one rather than waiting for the right day - years can go past trust me.
Make a day one Windy
D
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 402
hey Teodor are you on here?
Should we quit again?! How about it. I am sitting here stoned and not fulfilled at all by it. I tried to go sober two days ago and just caved half way through the day. the previous day I tried and made it till midnight.
I have been smoking a lot. I remember that the withdrawal is short lived. I just have to make the choice.
Teodor we could both have day one tomorrow?? I am kind of up for it . . . .
Should we quit again?! How about it. I am sitting here stoned and not fulfilled at all by it. I tried to go sober two days ago and just caved half way through the day. the previous day I tried and made it till midnight.
I have been smoking a lot. I remember that the withdrawal is short lived. I just have to make the choice.
Teodor we could both have day one tomorrow?? I am kind of up for it . . . .
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 402
Thank you, Dee. I wish there were a marijuana anonymous group near me. The closest one is probably almost two hours away.
And I do not like the NA meetings. I did not feel kinship or encouraged by people who were addicts to very heavy drugs.. I know the nature of addiction is the same but a marijuana specific group would be great for me. I just ordered russel brand's new book on recovery and addiction. I saw him tonight on TV.
I do feel more and more called to it but somehow scared. It is all sitting in my bathroom right now just waiting for me to have the courage to flush it tonight.
I had had a modicum of moderating it for a little while. I was giving it to my husband to take away and stash for me ( he does not smoke). And I was able to keep it away- once for nine days, once for a week, then in dwindled to two days, one, and then none! And now I am back to smoking and still dealing with lung issues. I just want to know what I can be, how I can feel, off of it. But I am pretty immersed and those beginning times without it I just feel awful. Then if I can get through that, and am sober a while I feel better and then decide it would just be "fun" to smoke a little, and I get right back into it. It is time. I just need the courage, I need to feel connected to something in my quitting which is why a MA group would be great right now! I understand many of you would like to encourage me to go to AA or NA. and I have to say I do think the 12 steps make sense. but I do not feel comraderie or a willingness to bond and open up with the meth users, the crack heroin, whatever users. It does not feel like an inspiring place for me to go. So I am not sure where I can find that connection and support. I could try to email MA and see if someone can open up a group in my area! there are certainly plenty of addicts around. So the question is am I ready to change my life?
I am still working out at the gym regularly, and now my thing is I like to smoke right before I go and then do an hour on the elliptical. And now I have an idea that I can only do it when I am stoned. Which I know will pass when I get sober. It is surely consuming me. I know I have to connect to something HIGHER than GETTING HIGH. It is only by seeking the bliss of freeing myself from the addiction cycle that I can have true motivation to let the MJ go.
I am considering just flushing it all tonight. but I keep saying- oh just a few more days. I cant deal quite yet. I want to quit. Thanks
And I do not like the NA meetings. I did not feel kinship or encouraged by people who were addicts to very heavy drugs.. I know the nature of addiction is the same but a marijuana specific group would be great for me. I just ordered russel brand's new book on recovery and addiction. I saw him tonight on TV.
I do feel more and more called to it but somehow scared. It is all sitting in my bathroom right now just waiting for me to have the courage to flush it tonight.
I had had a modicum of moderating it for a little while. I was giving it to my husband to take away and stash for me ( he does not smoke). And I was able to keep it away- once for nine days, once for a week, then in dwindled to two days, one, and then none! And now I am back to smoking and still dealing with lung issues. I just want to know what I can be, how I can feel, off of it. But I am pretty immersed and those beginning times without it I just feel awful. Then if I can get through that, and am sober a while I feel better and then decide it would just be "fun" to smoke a little, and I get right back into it. It is time. I just need the courage, I need to feel connected to something in my quitting which is why a MA group would be great right now! I understand many of you would like to encourage me to go to AA or NA. and I have to say I do think the 12 steps make sense. but I do not feel comraderie or a willingness to bond and open up with the meth users, the crack heroin, whatever users. It does not feel like an inspiring place for me to go. So I am not sure where I can find that connection and support. I could try to email MA and see if someone can open up a group in my area! there are certainly plenty of addicts around. So the question is am I ready to change my life?
I am still working out at the gym regularly, and now my thing is I like to smoke right before I go and then do an hour on the elliptical. And now I have an idea that I can only do it when I am stoned. Which I know will pass when I get sober. It is surely consuming me. I know I have to connect to something HIGHER than GETTING HIGH. It is only by seeking the bliss of freeing myself from the addiction cycle that I can have true motivation to let the MJ go.
I am considering just flushing it all tonight. but I keep saying- oh just a few more days. I cant deal quite yet. I want to quit. Thanks
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
Oh, Windytown. I am so sorry you are going through this. You sound so miserable. You don't have to be miserable any more.
I was deep into it. Smoked all day from the moment I woke up until I went to bed. And I was miserable too. I hated being enslaved. It was all I thought about.
Can't you find the courage and get en"courage"ment from here?
Make SR the first thing you do in the morning. Make that commitment each morning.
It is possible to quit without going to meetings. I did. SR helped me quit and it's the best thing I've ever done for myself. No regrets.
I hope you can make today Day 1.
I was deep into it. Smoked all day from the moment I woke up until I went to bed. And I was miserable too. I hated being enslaved. It was all I thought about.
Can't you find the courage and get en"courage"ment from here?
Make SR the first thing you do in the morning. Make that commitment each morning.
It is possible to quit without going to meetings. I did. SR helped me quit and it's the best thing I've ever done for myself. No regrets.
I hope you can make today Day 1.
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