scootinbabe

thanks sherry! i love that one. it's my standard fallback whenever life gets me down. i've sung it in the shower with tears running down my face.

here's the one i heard today in my head:

I come to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses
And the voice I hear, falling on my ear
The Son of God discloses
And he walks with me
And he talks with me
And he tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known

He speaks and the sound of His voice
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing
And the melody that He gave to me
Within my heart is ringing
And he walks with me
And he talks with me
He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known

scootinbabe

i am grateful that i went to the gym yesterday for the first time in months
i am grateful for my children and their births and birthdays
i am grateful that i am still sober
i am grateful for sun on my face
i am grateful that i have been referred to a couples counseler so that dh and i can determine if our marriage can be salvaged somehow
i am grateful for a second chance at my life

scootinbabe

i am grateful that i pulled off a bday party successfully and the kids loved it!
i am grateful that my husband has a job and our family has food.
i am grateful that i live in an area that offers many meetings
i am grateful that i am still sober

scootinbabe

i am grateful that i went through another emotional rough patch and didn't drink.
i am grateful that i'm learning to reach out for help.
i am grateful that those bad times do pass. eventually.
i am grateful that i have some good people in my life.
i am grateful that i am getting new tools to shape my life.
i am grateful for the promises
i am grateful for the serenity prayer

-----
to remind me of where i was just yesterday morning:
-------

i'm a little better today. cried for hours last night. asked God to hold me in the palm of his hand, cradle me and care for me. simply care for me. take good care of me.

i don't remember doing that in that way before. we'll see what happens.

i am debating dropping out of my volunteer obligations. my ego is making it hard to let go. (you know, "i'm the only one who can do it the right way" and "it's MY baby") i lifted it up and am hoping to get clarity. i'm really trying to check my motives.

i just wish that i could escape from my family and day-to-day for awhile. i need it sooooo much.

anyhow, i'm off to a meeting. i really need it.

----
here's what i posted on the moms thread two days ago:
----

ohmigod....i haven't even read anything yet but i see that some of us are struggling. d2mnit!! me too!!! i just got back from a meeting. i drove in my car crying, punching the steering wheel, screaming at God to take "it" from me...and believe me, there are several "its". i am so angry at so many things i can't freaking stand it. i am so sick of struggling. and this is AFTER the meeting. oi vey.

thank god that the meeting tonight was ironically on "the promises." and of course i was asked to speak. of course i must have stuck out like a sore thumb filled with my discontent and anger and pain and can't-stand-being-in-my-own-skin-ness. like, which one of these doesn't belong. hmmmm. but i know that i have seen peace--fleetingly--i have had it. i have had moments of pure bliss in feeling the warm breeze and feeling the sun and hearing my children's laughter. i have hope that, if i walk through this, i will find more of that. but d2mn this crap is tough and painful and it just sucks sucks sucks.

i am so angry at basically everything. i had no idea how much i was angry and at so many things and people and myself.

i read the other night that the third step is all about care. care for yourself. having compassion for yourself. allowing others to care for you. darned if i don't need that...
----


GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY...

scootinbabe

i am grateful that i am sober
i am grateful that i don't have to feel guilty about my breath
i am thankful i don't get hangovers
i am thankful for these forums
i am thankful that no one in my extended family is sick
i am thankful that my friend who had a stroke is finally home
i am thankful for being on vacation and the weather is perfect

scootinbabe

i am grateful that i had my best friend in my life for almost 25 years
i am grateful that i am still sober
i am grateful for my adorable children
i am grateful for their wonderful teacher and school
i am grateful that i have life experience and a hp to arm me in a crisis

scootinbabe

i am grateful that i am still sober
i am grateful to be alive
i am grateful to have given birth to such amazing little persons
i am grateful that my family is healthy


i am sooo sad. i guess i should be grateful that i can feel these emotions. that alone is a testament to my friend who is in hospice.

i am grateful that i have a God to turn to.

i am grateful for sunny summer days that are not too hot

scootinbabe

i am grateful that my kids love me
i am grateful for having a fun night with the family at a baseball game drinking lemondade and eating hot dogs
i am grateful that i have a house, fresh air, clean water, and food to eat
i am grateful that i do believe in God
i am grateful that, just for today, we are safe in America and in the world

IO Storm

Scootin'...

I am so sorry I missed the thread ....

Know what? "In the Garden" is one of faves....

I cried when I just read it. I am sorry for your friend.....

We do know that "absent from the body is present with the Lord."

A promise of hope evelasting. I'd like to think your friend will meet my

Daddy and my three kids who never got to make it into this world.

Love you and keep the faith!

:

IO

A BETTER PLACE

scootinbabe

i am grateful to still be sober
i am grateful for aa and my wonderful sponsor
i am grateful for this journey that i am on...the most important one of all: self-discovery
i am grateful for my hp
i am grateful for peace right now in my world
i am grateful that my dad is recovering from pneumonia and is out of hospital
i am grateful that my friend actually decided to live after all.
i am grateful that my husband is healthy
i am grateful for friends
i am grateful that it's been almost a year since my last drink
i am grateful for this board and the other one and my friendships on both

scootinbabe

last year, it was this day--monday--that i woke up not knowing how i got home and really not even knowing what happened. the actual date is tomorrow but it was a monday following a sunday at the boat. yesterday, we were at the boat again and i was sober. today i am sober. and for that i am truly grateful.

scootinbabe

i am so amazingly tongue-tied to try to express my gratitude that i have now achieved the longest period of sobriety in the last 30 years of my life. keep on keepin on because the program works!

thank you God
thank you sponsor
thank you husband
thank you kids
thank you aa
thank you SR
thank you sv
thank you thank you thank you thank you

scootinbabe

sooo...it's almost a year and a week. thank you God!

i've been worried i'd get squirrel-y as so many people say they do around an anniversary; but i haven't. thank you God!

i am so glad my kids have 2 1/2 hours of bible school everyday this week. gives mommy a big break! thank you God!

i am glad that i've been making small progress on the multitude of piles and jammed packed drawers around my house. thank you God!

Rusty Zipper

roooooooooooot'n for that wonderfull scooooooooot'n! lol

yep scoot, at the one year mark for me...

i was all nerved up, the self sabotage bit... it wasnt the norm to be clean & sober, and now it is... i think...lol
keep work'n what works scoot, and toss out what might not...

wish'n you all the best on that road to happy destiny!

xxoo, rz

scootinbabe

i am so grateful of my progress.

i actually felt emotions and was nearly all of HALT, but didn't act on them. waited a day or two and--hey--it's okay. THANK YOU GOD!!

scootinbabe

i did have a revelation this past weekend. my dh and i were talking about something that happened about this time last year and i said, hey, i remember it all clearly--i wasn't drinking then! imagine that.

i actually remember back to something a year ago and talk about it with confidence knowing that my memory was unclouded by booze!

it sounds weird and i don't think i'm expressing it well, but it blew my mind to realize again that i'm sober.
for more than a year.
i can remember things most of the time now.
and i can talk with confidence most of the time now.

that alone is worth the price of the struggle there folks.
thank the dear lord and aa. woo-hoo!

scootinbabe

one day at a time. one hour at a time. one minute at a time. one moment at a time. it works if you work it.

scootinbabe

still sober. entering another new year sober! no drink since july 24, 2006 by the miracle of aa and the strength, mercy and love of my hp.

i am so unbelievably grateful.

Rusty Zipper

happy new year scooooooooooooooooot'n, and ya know, we/i'm, stil roooooooooooooooooot'n for ya!

scootinbabe

so grateful that i am still sober....today it's nearly 24 hours and in total coming up on two years.

i just finished my fifth step. yes. it has taken me this long and you know, i wasn't ready until i was ready. i am unbelievably grateful that i have my wonderful sponsor and that i was able to finally move forward and look at myself fairly objectively.

i feel like, after months of feeling rather stuck, that i am going through an incredible growth spurt and i am eager to see what lies ahead. but i am really enjoying the here and now. moment by moment. sober.

thank God!