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I talked to my mom

Old 05-29-2014, 09:34 AM
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Red face I talked to my mom

I called my mom this morning just to chat with her. I didn't have any intention of telling her that my SO had relapsed or that he was leaving for rehab this weekend. I guess my neighbor (who works with my uncles) had mentioned that my SO hasn't been to work in a few days. So she brought it up and I just started crying. I told her that he got fired for stealing money, that he's relapsed and badly, and that he'd be going away to rehab, leaving this Sunday.

She was really calm and kind about it. I was surprised and I feel really relieved to have been able to tell someone. I know that she wants to tell me to RUN and I don't blame her. But I'm glad she isn't. I am aware that this could be something my SO battles with for the rest of his life, and he may always struggle; he may not stay clean. We may stay together, we may not. I may have to tell him that I love him very much, but he has to go, someday. I know this. I can only hear it so much though. I taunt myself with that very idea daily. I'm just thankful that she is being kind and welcoming to me instead of angry or upset.

I feel better that I don't have to hide anymore.
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Old 05-29-2014, 10:18 AM
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This must feel like a huge relief. The nosy neighbor opened the door for the conversation, how funny! None of us know what the future holds but maybe take things one day at a time. It can get scary for me when I worry too much and play the what if game. But look what happened with your mom, you got a nice surprise in how she reacted.
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Old 05-29-2014, 11:37 AM
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Our neighbor is actually my uncle's soon to be father in law (small town, I know.), so he's basically family. I am really glad talking with her went so well...Now if only the rest of my life could follow suit!

I really am so glad to have someone I can go to now. I hadn't realized how isolated I had become in the last few months, and even worse in the last few weeks. I've barely visited with any of my family or friends at all.
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Old 05-29-2014, 12:58 PM
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Most things we fear never happen. Your mom was kind and understanding so all that worrying was for nothing and I am so glad it unfolded that way.

One day at a time, that's all any of us get, so embrace today and let tomorrow unfold as it may.

Hugs
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Old 05-29-2014, 01:12 PM
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Thank you, Ann.
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Old 05-29-2014, 01:15 PM
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Yay for you! I am so so happy to hear this. Every time you open up to someone it gets easier to do, I promise.

Now let her do what moms do, be a support system for you.

Take care! XXX
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Old 05-29-2014, 01:49 PM
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Thank you Hopeful. I am going to talk with her tonight. It is going to be such a strange transition for me to open up to my family about this, but it feels better knowing someone is there to support me right now. My SO feels better that I have someone here with me also; he has been worried about leaving me alone.
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Old 05-29-2014, 02:18 PM
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It gets easier each time you talk about it, I promise.

I remember the relief in just having those close to me know, that I did not have to try and hide the elephant in my room anymore. To know that no matter what happened they would be there for me and my kids and I would make it through.

I am glad you are not alone. XXX
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Old 05-29-2014, 04:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Ann View Post
Most things we fear never happen. Your mom was kind and understanding so all that worrying was for nothing and I am so glad it unfolded that way.

One day at a time, that's all any of us get, so embrace today and let tomorrow unfold as it may.

Hugs

I also like the quote...."The vast majority of people spend their life running
from things that aren't chasing them".

(author unknown)
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Old 05-29-2014, 07:18 PM
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Vale what a great quote! And so true!

Bluebones so glad you were able to share with your mom and she was kind and understanding. It is hard enough having to admit someone we love has an addiction. We feel shame, guilt, embarrassment. As the others have said take it one day at a time. You cannot predict the future and worrying about it wont change a thing except cause you stress and anxiety.
At times when I feel stressed over things I cannot control I say the serenity prayer.
Hugs.
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Old 05-29-2014, 07:38 PM
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Vale that quote is exactly true. Couldn't have said it better.

Needingabreak, thank you. I did feel embarrassed.... you feel like their addiction reflects back on you and that you will receive judgement for it. I need to work on my coping skills in that area...I worry and it makes me feel sick. For no reason. I need to keep that in mind
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