I talked to my mom
I called my mom this morning just to chat with her. I didn't have any intention of telling her that my SO had relapsed or that he was leaving for rehab this weekend. I guess my neighbor (who works with my uncles) had mentioned that my SO hasn't been to work in a few days. So she brought it up and I just started crying. I told her that he got fired for stealing money, that he's relapsed and badly, and that he'd be going away to rehab, leaving this Sunday.
She was really calm and kind about it. I was surprised and I feel really relieved to have been able to tell someone. I know that she wants to tell me to RUN and I don't blame her. But I'm glad she isn't. I am aware that this could be something my SO battles with for the rest of his life, and he may always struggle; he may not stay clean. We may stay together, we may not. I may have to tell him that I love him very much, but he has to go, someday. I know this. I can only hear it so much though. I taunt myself with that very idea daily. I'm just thankful that she is being kind and welcoming to me instead of angry or upset.
I feel better that I don't have to hide anymore.