Tlo74

So today was my 40th birthday and I really thought my CA-boyfriend would at least remember and leave a message. It'll be 3 weeks tomorrow that I have gone without answering his texts, calls and pleas but he has at least called 2-3 times per week and left messages. Not sure why I keep doing this to myself - getting my hopes up that he'll hit rock bottom and try to get clean. He insists that he needs to do it "his way". Which means nothing. His definition of rehab is only smoking once a day - his wake up. Which in reality probably means 3,4,5.... A day.

pacificsunrise

Happy Birthday!!!
hope you were able to enjoy your day regardless of whether he called or not. of course, I understand that that is easier said than done. just wanted you to know that you are not alone.
hugs and hope

Tlo74

Thank you. Thank god for this sight. In the past I'm lucky if I could've went 3-4 ignoring his calls, threats, crying and texts. But with the stories and advice from everyone here I know that I need to think of me now. After 4 years of enabling - I can no longer fight his addiction to crack. I can only let him go and hope and pray that one day he is able and wants to fight the battle himself.

chicory

Happy Birthday, Tlo,

I remember how hard it was, to let go of someone i cared about. Sounds like you are doing what you need to do. Perhaps find something to occupy those tough times when you find yourself focusing on him.

My best, hang in there. stick around!
chicory

Ann

Belated Happy Birthday Tlo,, I'm sorry you are feeling sad on your special day, it's never easy moving on with out lives when our addicted loved ones refuse to move forward with theirs.

40 is a wonderful time of your life, or can be if you let it. A new decade of adventures and dreams and youth still on your side! Embrace this time of your life and find the joy you are missing...it lies within.

Hugs