Belated Happy Birthday Tlo,, I'm sorry you are feeling sad on your special day, it's never easy moving on with out lives when our addicted loved ones refuse to move forward with theirs.
40 is a wonderful time of your life, or can be if you let it. A new decade of adventures and dreams and youth still on your side! Embrace this time of your life and find the joy you are missing...it lies within.
Hugs