Splitting
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Philly burbs, NJ
Posts: 99
Wow. This hits home. My own children don't understand why I'm hanging on to their father. In their eyes, he deserves nothing from us after the things he's done. My daughter, who suffered the worst, says she'll never understand the way I view him.
Going over and over the good, mourning all his losses-- not mine, his!-- is not healthy behavior. I'm not a stupid person. I don't know why I'm not better at putting this situation to rest. After 44 years, it's not easy.
But it shouldn't be this hard, either.
Going over and over the good, mourning all his losses-- not mine, his!-- is not healthy behavior. I'm not a stupid person. I don't know why I'm not better at putting this situation to rest. After 44 years, it's not easy.
But it shouldn't be this hard, either.
Baby Steps
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,689
I needed to read this tonight although my separated ah wasn't verbally or physically abusive he lied, manipulated, refused to acknowledge my anxiety and caused more anxiety, then turned it round on me..... Crazy, his drinking buddies came first (he could drink at there's) and even when they said nasty things to me or about me he never challenged them, he would lose a place to drink if he did that, he made promises he never intended to keep or knew he couldn't follow through on, whichever doesn't really matter and hurt me over and over again. I have split him into 2 people the person I thought was kind and loving and the binge drinker but he is one and the same!!! I came very far down his list of priorities with alcohol right at the very top!! thank you anvil
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