Update- The bottom looks ugly
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Update- The bottom looks ugly
Hello family. So I have heard from JJ on three separate occasions since November 25. Prior to 11-25, I hadn't heard from him since October 28.
He has been doing bad things to support his habit which is not surprising. He has no address and wont tell me where he is but two of the known people he uses with have messaged me that they have seen him. Not surprisingly, both are users and most likely are in on the thefts and the selling of goods which is what JJ is doing. I know this from seeing posts on Craigslist.
Here in SD there is a homeless tent village where the tweakers all stay, I think he frequents that as well.
He got arrested and released for under the influence on Thursday last week, I wish they wouldn't have let him go. He didn't tell me if the charges were dropped, so likely a court date and further law enforcement involvement in his future.
He reached out with a text only phone number yesterday saying he wanted/needed to get sober, told me he has lost everything, no money, etc.
I didn't fall for any knee jerk reaction, I gave him two toll free numbers he could call without needing money on a pay phone. He then submerged again.
Please pray he is getting sick and tired of being sick and tired. If its true that he has nothing, then we are pretty close since nothing doesn't last very long.
I offered him a ride to detox once he is accepted and food and a change of clothes so lets see. I also let him know I would support him going to rehab, he really needs to be isolated to figure this all out.
Its so exhausting and depressing going through this. I need your comfort and prayers.
I told him I loved him and when he is ready for detox to call me back.
He is alive and breathing, but still out there.
He has been doing bad things to support his habit which is not surprising. He has no address and wont tell me where he is but two of the known people he uses with have messaged me that they have seen him. Not surprisingly, both are users and most likely are in on the thefts and the selling of goods which is what JJ is doing. I know this from seeing posts on Craigslist.
Here in SD there is a homeless tent village where the tweakers all stay, I think he frequents that as well.
He got arrested and released for under the influence on Thursday last week, I wish they wouldn't have let him go. He didn't tell me if the charges were dropped, so likely a court date and further law enforcement involvement in his future.
He reached out with a text only phone number yesterday saying he wanted/needed to get sober, told me he has lost everything, no money, etc.
I didn't fall for any knee jerk reaction, I gave him two toll free numbers he could call without needing money on a pay phone. He then submerged again.
Please pray he is getting sick and tired of being sick and tired. If its true that he has nothing, then we are pretty close since nothing doesn't last very long.
I offered him a ride to detox once he is accepted and food and a change of clothes so lets see. I also let him know I would support him going to rehab, he really needs to be isolated to figure this all out.
Its so exhausting and depressing going through this. I need your comfort and prayers.
I told him I loved him and when he is ready for detox to call me back.
He is alive and breathing, but still out there.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 393
Ilovemysonjj,
"....... saying he wanted/needed to get sober, told me he has lost everything, no money, etc..........Please pray he is getting sick and tired of being sick and tired. If its true that he has nothing, then we are pretty close since nothing doesn't last very long."
This sounds promising, just hope that it is true.
"I told him I loved him and when he is ready for detox to call me back."
I believe that offering recovery is NOT enabling, others may differ, but I'm with you.
"He is alive and breathing, but still out there."
I know the feeling all too well but be grateful for what you have. Pray this really is his bottom and that your phone will ring with the news he is finally ready for detox and getting his life back on track.
I am heading to my Nar-Anon group in just a few minutes and will remember JJ at the end of the meeting when we have a moment to remember all those who still suffer followed by the Serenity Prayer.
Keep coming back,
Jim
"....... saying he wanted/needed to get sober, told me he has lost everything, no money, etc..........Please pray he is getting sick and tired of being sick and tired. If its true that he has nothing, then we are pretty close since nothing doesn't last very long."
This sounds promising, just hope that it is true.
"I told him I loved him and when he is ready for detox to call me back."
I believe that offering recovery is NOT enabling, others may differ, but I'm with you.
"He is alive and breathing, but still out there."
I know the feeling all too well but be grateful for what you have. Pray this really is his bottom and that your phone will ring with the news he is finally ready for detox and getting his life back on track.
I am heading to my Nar-Anon group in just a few minutes and will remember JJ at the end of the meeting when we have a moment to remember all those who still suffer followed by the Serenity Prayer.
Keep coming back,
Jim
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I agree with Jim, this may be just what JJ needs to hit bottom, my prayers go out that it is.
I know how hard this all is for you, my heart breaks for our adult children who just can't/won't pull it together, God's got them covered.
Hugs from this mama's heart to yours.
I know how hard this all is for you, my heart breaks for our adult children who just can't/won't pull it together, God's got them covered.
Hugs from this mama's heart to yours.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
TI'm just so sorry...but I hope that whatever he is going through now will get him to see how far down he is and maybe, just maybe, he will finally decide to turn his shop around once and for all.
I have no idea where 'bottom' will be for my stepson since he has been in jail several times for writing bad checks, has been found wandering the streets in withdrawals, has been found passed out in an alley, has been tazered by dealers, it goes on... I pray that your son turns his life around before he ping pongs around the bottom for as long as my stepson!!!
Many hugs and prayers for peace and strength and many prayers for JJ!
and praying for you and JJ.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Hauppauge, NY
Posts: 62
I think you handled it beautifully. You offered the life preserver, he has to reach for it. Prayers for you and your son. I know how much this hurts. I'm in pretty much the same boat with my daughter. It totally sucks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Thank you Again. I spoke to one of JJ's friends who told me that JJ just stole his laptop and his watch, which is what I saw posted on Craigslist. this person had been housing and feeding JJ. This kid is also an addict, but at least had a car and somewhere to stay. Since JJ stole from him, he of course kicked him out, so I hope that now there truly is no safety net. This insanity has a finish line somewhere.
Its so fricking hard during the holidays not to dwell on last Christmas where I had all three of my kids in their jammies and my husband and I sitting on the couch all of us watching movies and eating amazing food. this year will not be the same.
Emotions running a bit but also I am resolved to not force a choice for JJ, he HAS to make the choice on his own.
I surely do not want to welcome a lying, stealing drug addict back into my lives. Now THAT movie wont be playing again.
Its so fricking hard during the holidays not to dwell on last Christmas where I had all three of my kids in their jammies and my husband and I sitting on the couch all of us watching movies and eating amazing food. this year will not be the same.
Emotions running a bit but also I am resolved to not force a choice for JJ, he HAS to make the choice on his own.
I surely do not want to welcome a lying, stealing drug addict back into my lives. Now THAT movie wont be playing again.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 393
Ilovemysonjj,
" I spoke to one of JJ's friends who told me ...stole his laptop and his watch, .....this person had been housing and feeding JJ....also an addict but ..... and somewhere to stay...he ... kicked him out.... so I hope that now there truly is no safety net."
I am hoping right along with you that there really is no unknown safety net. JJ's drugs are definitely running the show at this point -- you are not alone here, drugs have run my daughter's show at times also.
"This insanity has a finish line somewhere."
Keep the faith, everyone has a finish line -- some are just farther away than others and some even keep moving. Just pray his line has stopped and he is about to cross it!
My wish for you is that you get this call very soon - "Mom, I found a rehab that has a bed, can you pick me up?" What a wonder-full Christmas present that would be!
Keep coming back,
Jim
" I spoke to one of JJ's friends who told me ...stole his laptop and his watch, .....this person had been housing and feeding JJ....also an addict but ..... and somewhere to stay...he ... kicked him out.... so I hope that now there truly is no safety net."
I am hoping right along with you that there really is no unknown safety net. JJ's drugs are definitely running the show at this point -- you are not alone here, drugs have run my daughter's show at times also.
"This insanity has a finish line somewhere."
Keep the faith, everyone has a finish line -- some are just farther away than others and some even keep moving. Just pray his line has stopped and he is about to cross it!
My wish for you is that you get this call very soon - "Mom, I found a rehab that has a bed, can you pick me up?" What a wonder-full Christmas present that would be!
Keep coming back,
Jim
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