LoveMeNow

Oh and Laurie - he said he was very disappointed and frustrated that he wasn't "better" - especially since he was going two meetings a day. Thank you again for taking the time to explains things to me.

laurie6781

Yep, I understand totally. You can tell him that he is not alone in that type of thinking, that many A's feel that way in early recovery. It is like, okay I have quit using and drinking, that is no longer a problem so how come I'm not all better?

It is all about changing the pathways in our brains. Getting back to a 'healthy' both mentally and physically, person. It takes years to regrow those pathways, and healing does require us to be very vigilant in our thoughts and actions to make sure we are not repeating our using behavior. It also takes time to 'learn' new ways of thinking and acting.

You are welcome to share the above with him, it is from a friend of yours a sober and clean A for many years.

Love and hugs,

LoveMeNow

Thank you but lets talk about me and my recovery, lol!! I have been the one relapsing all over the place.

(I told him and he said thank you. His sponsor told him the same thing but its always nice to hear it again.)

His friend that I spoke about - who has been sober for 20 yrs - told me that in the old days....if someone who came to a meeting and really wasn't ready to stop drinking, the group would through in some money and send them off to a bar. And it wasn't uncommon for a sponsor to take you their either. Also, they did the 12 steps much faster - the first time around. It worked for him and enjoys a particular AA meeting with a lot of old timer AA people who still have the "not so watered down" philosophy.

He is good for me too - when I will listen. I can be a bit stubborn at times. <<<shocker>>> lol Just when I think I have processed through my anger, it resurfaces. My therapist told me that is common too. ughhhhhhhh

I don't think I knew how hard recovery would be for either of us.

washbe2

LMN..Your motives were pure. I'm glad you are going for counsel. Living with an addict in recovery can be like walking on eggshells for both of you. I pray time and counsel will provide you both with the tools needed to get through all of this.

And you can stop by for hangar hamburgers unannounced any ole time you want!

LoveMeNow

Thank you Washbe. You crack me up!! I knew I was wanted somewhere!! lol

(((hugs)))

Lily1918

I've had a few relapses as well but like Alfred tells Bruce Wayne, "why do we fall? So we can learn to get back up" huggs