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Old 11-14-2012, 06:52 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Thank you so much for all your input. I think we will establish new alcohol free traditions.
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Old 11-14-2012, 07:05 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by LoveMeNot View Post
Ignorance is nothing more then the lack of knowledge or awareness in general; or an uneducated or unsophisticated opinion/person. It is not blissful!! Being ignorant about addiction has caused great pain for many of us.

I choose not to stay ignorant, therefore, I personally value the posts by educated, knowledgeable posters who take the time to share their ESH. It is now painfully obvious how sick a mind becomes while in active addiction.
And who are you referring to?
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Old 11-14-2012, 07:10 AM
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Originally Posted by Ms.TimmyV View Post
And who are you referring to?
It wasn't you!
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Old 11-14-2012, 07:18 AM
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I'm really glad you asked this, it was eye-opening for me reading all of the responses. I'm right in-between the ages of going home for holidays and hosting my own holidays with a new family, so I'm filing this knowledge away for when I actually get to decide how to present the evening. I know mulled wine is a big tradition for a lot of people, but I LOVE the idea of a themed holiday mocktail. (How unrealistic is it that I imagine my hosted parties themed out all Martha Stewart style? Cue all-or-nothing thinking in 3... 2...)

Blessings to you and your son this season!
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Old 11-14-2012, 09:04 AM
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Originally Posted by LoveMeNot View Post
It wasn't you!
I can vouch for this too - it was not you!
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Old 11-14-2012, 11:04 AM
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Originally Posted by cynical one View Post
Growing up, we never served alcohol. I remember a decanter of something Duck and 4 shotglasses, all in a houndstooth pattern that nobody ever drank. I guess at some point it turned to vinegar.

When I first started hosting Thanksgiving, it was all about the football. So I started having beer. Then many of the gals didn't drink beer, so I started a "festive drink of the day". I'm now up to 40 people for a sit-down Thanksgiving dinner. And, yes there are 2 alcoholics, so I offer sparkling cider, iced tea, and a wide variety of soda. I also have a vegan, one with nut allergies, 3 with diabetes, 4 with heart disease, and 1 lactose intolerant. Now, I could cut out all alcoholic beverages, have no turkey or any meat byproducts, no nuts on the sweet potato casserole, no desserts, no mashed potatoes, and not put any salt on anything or I could just serve lettuce and water to protect everyone from themselves. Instead I offer lots of side dishes, and pull portions of other things out before adding the nuts, or milk. And, I don't use a lot of salt anyway, but have it available on all tables so people can add as needed. Nobody is offended, nobody is left out, nobody stands out, so it works for me.
Can you fit 41? I can ( and will) eat anything! lol

I have often had guests bring their own alchohol if they prefer a drink. Some do, some don't.
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Old 11-14-2012, 11:25 AM
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Originally Posted by cynical one View Post
Growing up, we never served alcohol. I remember a decanter of something Duck and 4 shotglasses, all in a houndstooth pattern that nobody ever drank. I guess at some point it turned to vinegar.

When I first started hosting Thanksgiving, it was all about the football. So I started having beer. Then many of the gals didn't drink beer, so I started a "festive drink of the day". I'm now up to 40 people for a sit-down Thanksgiving dinner. And, yes there are 2 alcoholics, so I offer sparkling cider, iced tea, and a wide variety of soda. I also have a vegan, 1 with nut allergies, 3 with diabetes, 4 with heart disease, and 1 lactose intolerant. Now, I could cut out all alcoholic beverages, have no turkey or any meat byproducts, no nuts on the sweet potato casserole, no desserts, no mashed potatoes, and not put any salt on anything or I could just serve lettuce and water to protect everyone from themselves. Instead I offer lots of side dishes, and pull portions of other things out before adding the nuts, or milk. And, I don't use a lot of salt anyway, but have it available on all tables so people can add as needed. Nobody is offended, nobody is left out, nobody stands out, so it works for me.
Make that 42, I'm in!

I am all about the football, as well. My fiance's family doesn't watch football (I know!) or drink. I don't care about the drinks but no football on Thanksgiving?! Oh the humanity!! It was rough at first, so we used his phone to check the score and his nephew asked me if I was "like obsessed with football or something?" - I guess addicts come in all forms.
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Old 11-14-2012, 12:10 PM
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As they are newly in recovery, they will need all the support they can get. Why not make it easier for them and not serve alcohol and let them know it. Then they can come knowing that there will not be any pressure and they can enjoy the family environment.
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Old 11-14-2012, 02:23 PM
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Originally Posted by jacksdaughter View Post
Thank you so much for all your input. I think we will establish new alcohol free traditions.
Hope you all have a joyful time. When is thanksgiving? Ive been told its a month before Christmas. Its looks like its a big thing in the US as we see lots of films with big family gatherings like a christmas time xxx
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Old 11-14-2012, 03:30 PM
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Personally, I would opt not to serve alcohol, especially if they are newly recovering. To me that is like putting candy in front of a child. You may not let them have it but the temptation is there. God Bless in what ever you decide.
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Old 11-14-2012, 03:37 PM
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Make it 43 please. I am going to a dry Thanksgiving and although I am really not a drinker and I am not an addict, I think I should be given a choice.

Won't matter though, I will be at my "cherished" Cynical One's house anyway!!
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Old 11-14-2012, 09:21 PM
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My son is home this weekend after 10 months in recovery centre. It is the first time we have seen him and it is his sisters bday. We too worried about drinking as I have 3 adult kids. I have talked to him and he doesnt care, he never drank before so dont feel as long as everyone is acting responsibly it will be a problem. We will keep it a quiet weekend out of respect for him.
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Old 11-14-2012, 09:32 PM
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I am just going to help serve free turkey and the works.
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Old 11-14-2012, 11:14 PM
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Originally Posted by eveleivibe View Post
Hope you all have a joyful time. When is thanksgiving? Ive been told its a month before Christmas. Its looks like its a big thing in the US as we see lots of films with big family gatherings like a christmas time xxx
Thanksgiving is on November 22 this year. Its not a static date like Christmas. For some it is a lot like Christmas with a large family gathering, big meal, spending time together, except no presents & decorations are usually in the form of pumpkins, and replicas of turkeys. (which seems rather ironic since many people eat turkey on that day) Some places have parades to celebrate the day, and also its sort of like a kick off to the Christmas season. The day after Thanksgiving is usually when all the stores open up early (some at 12am for sales, and special deals for those who would rather shop than sleep; not me !) For others it is a time to gather and watch football, drink, eat either sandwiches or maybe a big meal. Football being American football, not English Football; which is actually soccer in the USA. ( awkward this is why America wanted its independence) LOL.
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Old 11-14-2012, 11:15 PM
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Originally Posted by mycoolfitz View Post
i am just going to help serve free turkey and the works.
very cool
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Old 11-14-2012, 11:26 PM
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Originally Posted by eveleivibe View Post
Ignorance may be bliss, but knowledge is power
Great Signature Quote.

There was a thread on here recently asking the question "would you have rather not known" AKA: Ignorance is bliss ?/!

But you are so right: Knowledge is power.
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Old 11-15-2012, 06:03 AM
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Originally Posted by jacksdaughter View Post
Thank you so much for all your input. I think we will establish new alcohol free traditions.
The best thing is to go with your heart in such matters. Enjoy a wonderful holiday!
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Old 11-15-2012, 09:29 AM
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Originally Posted by jacksdaughter View Post
Thank you so much for all your input. I think we will establish new alcohol free traditions.
I think that is a kind and thoughtful thing to do.

As a long-term recovering alcoholic/addict (22 years), I stayed away from anything alcohol-related for a long time. I make no apologies for that. Early recovery is extremely difficult.

I am grateful that I was surrounded by an extended family of others also in recovery.
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