Holiday Advice
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 101
Originally Posted by LoveMeNot 
Ignorance is nothing more then the lack of knowledge or awareness in general; or an uneducated or unsophisticated opinion/person. It is not blissful!! Being ignorant about addiction has caused great pain for many of us.
I choose not to stay ignorant, therefore, I personally value the posts by educated, knowledgeable posters who take the time to share their ESH. It is now painfully obvious how sick a mind becomes while in active addiction.
I choose not to stay ignorant, therefore, I personally value the posts by educated, knowledgeable posters who take the time to share their ESH. It is now painfully obvious how sick a mind becomes while in active addiction.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 499
I'm really glad you asked this, it was eye-opening for me reading all of the responses. I'm right in-between the ages of going home for holidays and hosting my own holidays with a new family, so I'm filing this knowledge away for when I actually get to decide how to present the evening. I know mulled wine is a big tradition for a lot of people, but I LOVE the idea of a themed holiday mocktail. (How unrealistic is it that I imagine my hosted parties themed out all Martha Stewart style? Cue all-or-nothing thinking in 3... 2...)
Blessings to you and your son this season!
Blessings to you and your son this season!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Originally Posted by cynical one
Growing up, we never served alcohol. I remember a decanter of something Duck and 4 shotglasses, all in a houndstooth pattern that nobody ever drank. I guess at some point it turned to vinegar.
When I first started hosting Thanksgiving, it was all about the football. So I started having beer. Then many of the gals didn't drink beer, so I started a "festive drink of the day". I'm now up to 40 people for a sit-down Thanksgiving dinner. And, yes there are 2 alcoholics, so I offer sparkling cider, iced tea, and a wide variety of soda. I also have a vegan, one with nut allergies, 3 with diabetes, 4 with heart disease, and 1 lactose intolerant. Now, I could cut out all alcoholic beverages, have no turkey or any meat byproducts, no nuts on the sweet potato casserole, no desserts, no mashed potatoes, and not put any salt on anything or I could just serve lettuce and water to protect everyone from themselves. Instead I offer lots of side dishes, and pull portions of other things out before adding the nuts, or milk. And, I don't use a lot of salt anyway, but have it available on all tables so people can add as needed. Nobody is offended, nobody is left out, nobody stands out, so it works for me.
When I first started hosting Thanksgiving, it was all about the football. So I started having beer. Then many of the gals didn't drink beer, so I started a "festive drink of the day". I'm now up to 40 people for a sit-down Thanksgiving dinner. And, yes there are 2 alcoholics, so I offer sparkling cider, iced tea, and a wide variety of soda. I also have a vegan, one with nut allergies, 3 with diabetes, 4 with heart disease, and 1 lactose intolerant. Now, I could cut out all alcoholic beverages, have no turkey or any meat byproducts, no nuts on the sweet potato casserole, no desserts, no mashed potatoes, and not put any salt on anything or I could just serve lettuce and water to protect everyone from themselves. Instead I offer lots of side dishes, and pull portions of other things out before adding the nuts, or milk. And, I don't use a lot of salt anyway, but have it available on all tables so people can add as needed. Nobody is offended, nobody is left out, nobody stands out, so it works for me.
I have often had guests bring their own alchohol if they prefer a drink. Some do, some don't.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 499
Originally Posted by cynical one
Growing up, we never served alcohol. I remember a decanter of something Duck and 4 shotglasses, all in a houndstooth pattern that nobody ever drank. I guess at some point it turned to vinegar.
When I first started hosting Thanksgiving, it was all about the football. So I started having beer. Then many of the gals didn't drink beer, so I started a "festive drink of the day". I'm now up to 40 people for a sit-down Thanksgiving dinner. And, yes there are 2 alcoholics, so I offer sparkling cider, iced tea, and a wide variety of soda. I also have a vegan, 1 with nut allergies, 3 with diabetes, 4 with heart disease, and 1 lactose intolerant. Now, I could cut out all alcoholic beverages, have no turkey or any meat byproducts, no nuts on the sweet potato casserole, no desserts, no mashed potatoes, and not put any salt on anything or I could just serve lettuce and water to protect everyone from themselves. Instead I offer lots of side dishes, and pull portions of other things out before adding the nuts, or milk. And, I don't use a lot of salt anyway, but have it available on all tables so people can add as needed. Nobody is offended, nobody is left out, nobody stands out, so it works for me.
When I first started hosting Thanksgiving, it was all about the football. So I started having beer. Then many of the gals didn't drink beer, so I started a "festive drink of the day". I'm now up to 40 people for a sit-down Thanksgiving dinner. And, yes there are 2 alcoholics, so I offer sparkling cider, iced tea, and a wide variety of soda. I also have a vegan, 1 with nut allergies, 3 with diabetes, 4 with heart disease, and 1 lactose intolerant. Now, I could cut out all alcoholic beverages, have no turkey or any meat byproducts, no nuts on the sweet potato casserole, no desserts, no mashed potatoes, and not put any salt on anything or I could just serve lettuce and water to protect everyone from themselves. Instead I offer lots of side dishes, and pull portions of other things out before adding the nuts, or milk. And, I don't use a lot of salt anyway, but have it available on all tables so people can add as needed. Nobody is offended, nobody is left out, nobody stands out, so it works for me.
I am all about the football, as well. My fiance's family doesn't watch football (I know!) or drink. I don't care about the drinks but no football on Thanksgiving?! Oh the humanity!! It was rough at first, so we used his phone to check the score and his nephew asked me if I was "like obsessed with football or something?" - I guess addicts come in all forms.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: onatario, canada
Posts: 5
As they are newly in recovery, they will need all the support they can get. Why not make it easier for them and not serve alcohol and let them know it. Then they can come knowing that there will not be any pressure and they can enjoy the family environment.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Uk
Posts: 764
Originally Posted by jacksdaughter
Thank you so much for all your input. I think we will establish new alcohol free traditions.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Bethany, Ok
Posts: 42
Personally, I would opt not to serve alcohol, especially if they are newly recovering. To me that is like putting candy in front of a child. You may not let them have it but the temptation is there. God Bless in what ever you decide.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Make it 43 please. I am going to a dry Thanksgiving and although I am really not a drinker and I am not an addict, I think I should be given a choice.
Won't matter though, I will be at my "cherished" Cynical One's house anyway!!
Won't matter though, I will be at my "cherished" Cynical One's house anyway!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 47
My son is home this weekend after 10 months in recovery centre. It is the first time we have seen him and it is his sisters bday. We too worried about drinking as I have 3 adult kids. I have talked to him and he doesnt care, he never drank before so dont feel as long as everyone is acting responsibly it will be a problem. We will keep it a quiet weekend out of respect for him.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
Originally Posted by eveleivibe
Hope you all have a joyful time. When is thanksgiving? Ive been told its a month before Christmas. Its looks like its a big thing in the US as we see lots of films with big family gatherings like a christmas time xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
Originally Posted by eveleivibe
Ignorance may be bliss, but knowledge is power
There was a thread on here recently asking the question "would you have rather not known" AKA: Ignorance is bliss ?/!
But you are so right: Knowledge is power.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by jacksdaughter
Thank you so much for all your input. I think we will establish new alcohol free traditions.
As a long-term recovering alcoholic/addict (22 years), I stayed away from anything alcohol-related for a long time. I make no apologies for that. Early recovery is extremely difficult.
I am grateful that I was surrounded by an extended family of others also in recovery.
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