Confused
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Tjp, I was thinking about what you said about grief and I realize now I am grieving my brother I have been for the last several weeks I know that wasn't what you meant when you said that however, my brother has been gone from this world for 3 years and every holiday, birthday etc.. are hard for me still not as. hard as before but...
I have been feeling weak when it comes to AH 2-3 weeks now I have also been trying to push my brother into the back of my mind for about the same time frame. My birthday is 9/11 and his 9/14 .We use to love that they were so close now I hate it
I think I just found another piece of the puzzle because I was doing pretty OK before.
Thanks for bringing up grief
I have been feeling weak when it comes to AH 2-3 weeks now I have also been trying to push my brother into the back of my mind for about the same time frame. My birthday is 9/11 and his 9/14 .We use to love that they were so close now I hate it
I think I just found another piece of the puzzle because I was doing pretty OK before.
Thanks for bringing up grief
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Where is it written that every time we try we succeed? Would that not make
every victory worthless? Give every kid 1000 Olympic gold medals just for
having survived birth?
You are fighting a major battle.A battle for your life.And in real life,battles
aren't Chuck Norris running straight up Mt Everest without getting so much as
winded---guns ablazing.
Fools who approach battles like that get defeated,neutralized,& pulverized
faster than you can spit out 9 syllables.Others recognize that retenchments
and pullbacks MUST be seen as strategic redeployment opportunities----just
the business of fighting lifes battles....and NOTHING more.
You say you are agoraphobic.I doubt that.There are tons of agoraphobics out there---
probably hundreds lurking on SR as we speak.None of them are baring their souls on SR.
It is an act of courage.Go get yourself that BD present,and we understand $
is tight on disability.Listen to your therapist/Psychiatrst.Take your meds as instructed.
<<<how to move on in life with my own identity Angie has no
clue who Angie is and no clue how to start finding out.>>>
Angie (crazybabie) is someone nice who thanks alot of people for their SR posts so they
don't feel that noone reads their words or cares.Angie never attacks anyone or hurts their
feelings,and when she stumbles---she says so and doesn't "lie to her own diary"
as so many are tempted to.Those three traits alone speak of high character.We now know
more now about Angie's character than 99.999999999% of those
we pass by on the street every day.
Clearly,with everyone she knows being an addict,and debating whether to let
her AH back into her life,Angie has obstacles to overcome on the battlefield---but I
know from her writings she will not just stand there like cannon fodder.She will duck,
cover,maybe get in a few shots now and again.She will allow time for grief and non-
hurtful/non-critical self evaluation......not with any unattainable BS image of perfection
in mind----but just to open those blinds up just the tinest fraction of an inch more
every day.
every victory worthless? Give every kid 1000 Olympic gold medals just for
having survived birth?
You are fighting a major battle.A battle for your life.And in real life,battles
aren't Chuck Norris running straight up Mt Everest without getting so much as
winded---guns ablazing.
Fools who approach battles like that get defeated,neutralized,& pulverized
faster than you can spit out 9 syllables.Others recognize that retenchments
and pullbacks MUST be seen as strategic redeployment opportunities----just
the business of fighting lifes battles....and NOTHING more.
You say you are agoraphobic.I doubt that.There are tons of agoraphobics out there---
probably hundreds lurking on SR as we speak.None of them are baring their souls on SR.
It is an act of courage.Go get yourself that BD present,and we understand $
is tight on disability.Listen to your therapist/Psychiatrst.Take your meds as instructed.
<<<how to move on in life with my own identity Angie has no
clue who Angie is and no clue how to start finding out.>>>
Angie (crazybabie) is someone nice who thanks alot of people for their SR posts so they
don't feel that noone reads their words or cares.Angie never attacks anyone or hurts their
feelings,and when she stumbles---she says so and doesn't "lie to her own diary"
as so many are tempted to.Those three traits alone speak of high character.We now know
more now about Angie's character than 99.999999999% of those
we pass by on the street every day.
Clearly,with everyone she knows being an addict,and debating whether to let
her AH back into her life,Angie has obstacles to overcome on the battlefield---but I
know from her writings she will not just stand there like cannon fodder.She will duck,
cover,maybe get in a few shots now and again.She will allow time for grief and non-
hurtful/non-critical self evaluation......not with any unattainable BS image of perfection
in mind----but just to open those blinds up just the tinest fraction of an inch more
every day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
vale, thank you I guess others can see part of who I am all you said made a lot of sense.
The agoraphobia was diagnosed by my psychiatrist when I was 25 it goes back in forth as to the degree and yes stress makes it worse and I have caused myself some unnecessary stress as of late.
Angie, just opened one blind in her living room one is a start...
Thank you for some much needed motivation.
The agoraphobia was diagnosed by my psychiatrist when I was 25 it goes back in forth as to the degree and yes stress makes it worse and I have caused myself some unnecessary stress as of late.
Angie, just opened one blind in her living room one is a start...
Thank you for some much needed motivation.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Great post Vale, you are so right!! Angie is one of the kindest posters here. And Angie, YOU have come a long way...you just haven't measured your progress lately.
Devil known is still the devil known. You deserve so much better and if you just give yourself a little more time, you will find it!!
Devil known is still the devil known. You deserve so much better and if you just give yourself a little more time, you will find it!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,754
(((((((Vale)))))))))))))
such a spot on post!!!!
Angie, you are loved, we are here. We know you will do , in the end, what is right for you.
Keep posting, and opening those blinds, there is a world out there, a world that is so much better with you in it.
Sending you lots of love and a big huge hug!!!!
Katiekate xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxox
Phil Collins -Follow You Follow Me -Genesis in Rome - YouTube
such a spot on post!!!!
Angie, you are loved, we are here. We know you will do , in the end, what is right for you.
Keep posting, and opening those blinds, there is a world out there, a world that is so much better with you in it.
Sending you lots of love and a big huge hug!!!!
Katiekate xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxox
Phil Collins -Follow You Follow Me -Genesis in Rome - YouTube
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Katiekate wrote:
>>>>Keep posting, and opening those blinds, there is a world out there,
a world that is so much better with you in it.<<<<<<
See,Angie! We don't fear the fight---we fear fighting alone.
I was fighting a codependency battle before I knew what the word meant.
I felt alone & foolish & ashamed.......like I was the ONLY person to buy an
AMC Gremlin in 1970!
SR is like the owners club for Gremlins! We don't like why were here (SOMEHOW
we got stuck with this crappy car!) But we aren't alone and can tell funny stories
about the piece of crap and spin revenge yarns involving the salesman who sold
them to us.........
"I know FOR A FACT the lead designer was the world's very FIRST crackhead!"
And yes,when the meeting is over we DO have to face reality
(walk out to the parking lot to turn the keys in.......50 Gremlins.
what a ghastly thought!).......
But we feel better.One blind at a time.And if we see 50 Gremlins coming
up the pike....we'll know what's up!
>>>>Keep posting, and opening those blinds, there is a world out there,
a world that is so much better with you in it.<<<<<<
See,Angie! We don't fear the fight---we fear fighting alone.
I was fighting a codependency battle before I knew what the word meant.
I felt alone & foolish & ashamed.......like I was the ONLY person to buy an
AMC Gremlin in 1970!
SR is like the owners club for Gremlins! We don't like why were here (SOMEHOW
we got stuck with this crappy car!) But we aren't alone and can tell funny stories
about the piece of crap and spin revenge yarns involving the salesman who sold
them to us.........
"I know FOR A FACT the lead designer was the world's very FIRST crackhead!"
And yes,when the meeting is over we DO have to face reality
(walk out to the parking lot to turn the keys in.......50 Gremlins.
what a ghastly thought!).......
But we feel better.One blind at a time.And if we see 50 Gremlins coming
up the pike....we'll know what's up!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Bridge over troubled water
Posts: 8
Lost, Two months sober is not enough time for his brain to be functioning. 90 days is the beginning of clarity. Take your time and a deep breath. You have a long road ahead. Too soon for you to make any decisions.
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