Justfor1

I hope this is his bottom. He will have time to think inside. Jails are tough places. Some jails have inmates reduced to only 2 meals a day because of costs & a cot on the floor due to overcrowding. Addicts who are use to scamming friends/family on the outside can find themselves being scammed on the inside. Alcoholics/addicts are on the low end of the social ladder inside. I don't want to scare but just give you another perspective. My addicted family member has been in & out of prison for nearly 20 years. It's a way of life for him.

Redapples

It's always nice to have a vacation away from stress. I hope you enjoy them. Here's a thought you know when people say God give me strength? Someone once told me to never ask God to give me strength because when you ask for it he will give it to you then it allows you to have to deal with more crap in your life. That someone explained to me that God would never give you more then you could handle so why would you ask for more strength to deal with more crap. I thought it was a pretty good insight and figured I would share it.

LoveMeNow

Seriously??

TJP - I hope you are still seeing the potential postives and finding peace.

xox

Kindeyes

tjp
We just never know what might be the "thing" that gets through to them. Even with the reality check, it's still a relief of sorts to know that they're in jail.

Sleep well.

gentle hugs
ke

crazybabie

tjp, I somehow missed this post I relate 100% when my addicts are in jail or in oldest AS case prison I feel relieved... I know they are safer than if they were on the streets.

Take care of you and enjoy some much needed stress free time...

EJG123

I understand your relief. My D's time in prison was the first time in months that I was able to communicate with her while she was not under the influence of drugs. It was good although she went right back to her old ways when she got out- even overdosing- which I only recently learned. When my D was jailed, the court also gave her the chance for inpatient treatment although she got herself kicked out within days. I hope your son does not squander his opportunities because jail time for addicts is an opportunity to change.

Ilovemysonjj

TJP, Great news (LOL to newbies though). I pray your AS finds time to evaluate if this is what he really wants to have life be like.
Love
TT

tjp613

I just thought of something.... AS says one of the reasons he does drugs is because he just "can't STAND being bored". He might just learn a thing or two about REAL boredom now. OMG, I can't imagine being locked up like that with nothing to do but sleep, draw, read, write.....or think.

Impurrfect

(((tjp))) - I had quite a few jail stents. Maybe my experience is different. Though I know of girls who tried to smoke cigarettes there and heard of one who had smuggled in crack, MY experience was no drugs, lots of time to THINK, lousy food and cots/pillows that were like leather and definitely not comfy.

In fact, when I finally chose recovery and I kept hearing how I needed to make a gratitude list, my first "list" was said through clenched teeth..."I'm grateful for a soft bed and pillow"

I will admit...my dad did put money on my books. I ordered all kinds of "treats" and ended up giving them to other inmates who didn't have money on the books. I bought paper and stamps.

That's just me. I have no idea where your son is at, mental-wise, but you have some awesome recovery...hold on to that. Dad bailed me out once, but no more after that. When I got sentenced to 6 months at the diversion center, he bought me cigarettes, gave me a little money but then I got a job and I never even asked for more.

When my XABF#3 was in jail? I sent him $$ the first time, totally got burned on that deal. The times after that? Nope. That was thanks to all the folks on this forum.

I pray the time he has to think and be bored works in his favor toward recovery. As the sgt. of the diversion center told us, "we don't WANT to make it comfortable for you here...we WANT to make it bad enough you never want to come back..and you get your shytt together".

If I knew where he was, I'd definitely send him a thank you note I did actually meet one of the counselors at my job and was able to tell HER thank you.

We never know when the A has had enough. I hope and pray that your son is at this point. Regardless, we are here for you.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Ann

Now THAT made me snicker.

I have extra bunny slippers for anyone who needs them...line forms to the left.

Hugs

kmangel

I think the time my son spent in jail was one of the most enlightening times for him since rehab. It is nothing he wants to repeat, but he was no worse off after it and I believe better off because of it. This was one time that his dad and I did not, could not, rescue him from.

LoveMeNow

I was just going to say...my husband said many people from NA share that jail was what it took for them.

"Very simply, an addict is a man or woman whose life is controlled by drugs. We are people in the grip of a continuing and progressive illness whose ends are always the same: jails, institutions, and death."

I pray this NA saying is ringing in his head!!

tjp613

Well, from what I can gather from the information provided online, it looks like they are going to release him on personal recognizance. The magistrate's clerk called me last night to ask various questions apparently to determine if he is a flight risk. I told him my AS has no ties in that community to keep him there and if he is released the chances are slim that he would show up for court. And so......they release him??? Looks like they just don't want to clog up their jails with a guy who would probably leave the county and never return so they have washed their hands of him. Not positive about that, but that's what it looks like is happening. I could call to find out for sure but I guess it doesn't matter much. And, as they say, more will be revealed anyway.

WHATEVER!

LoveMeNow

awwww Don't give up HOPE!!

cangel2

Awwww.....hugs for you!!! The system is concerned with the system....a lot about space, budgets and public safety.

Hang in there! You do not know the impact on your son....yet.....

tjp613

Whew! I mis-read the information online. He was "released" from the magistrate's office, but he was transferred to the county detention facility to await his indictment...NOT out on bond or PR.

Ilovemysonjj

TJP, God has him (gentle hug)
Love
TT

tjp613

I got a call from AS today. It's his 22nd birthday and he's spending it in jail. Oh well.

He says he's in a 'dorm-like' cell with 80 bunk beds and he's one of 4 white guys and the youngest of them. (The only reason I mention race is because it's how 'things work' in there...you stick with your own kind, etc.) He is scared ********. GOOD!!!!! He needs to be scared ********. I wanted nothing more than to swoop in and rescue him but I didn't even HINT that I would do such a thing. I told him to call one of his homies to post his bail....I'm not gonna do it. But it was a gentle conversation and we understand each other. HE understands exactly how and why he is there....a result of the lifestyle he has chosen. Of course he said he will never EVER EVER EVER do drugs EVER again and he's learned his lesson. Yeah, he really said that. Right out of the heroin addict handbook.

I, on the other hand, went out and had a great night! Freedom rocks.

tjp613

Do I sound like a heartless b*tch?...or someone who has healthy boundaries? Hard to tell the difference sometimes! :-/ I love him with my whole heart, ya'll know that, right?

suki44883

Yes, we know you love him. SR is a place where you can say these things and everyone understands why you do. You have learned the Addicts 101 handbook, so you aren't taken in when they recite certain passages. Good for you!

He'll either take this as a true wake-up call and do whatever is necessary to not have to repeat it, or he won't. In either case, there is nothing you can do. It is truly a blessing that you realize this. Continue taking care of yourself. It's all you have any control over.