lost0311

It's time to say farwell for now.... to my AH. My AH went to rehab got out of rehab and in one week got his first job as a truck driver. He will now be gone for another 5 weeks. wahoo.... Time for this mom to concentrate on herself. At a meeting yesterday a woman shared something that has really opened my eyes. Her kids said to her one day, "...yes mom, dad is an addict, but what is wrong with you"? I have let the man I love drag me down emotionally so far down, that I dont even know who I am anymore. I use to be outgoing and funny and have turned into this sad depressed blob with no motivation for life. Well its time to move on and move up. No more with I let the man of my dreams (or so I thought he was) bring me down. I want my kids to want to be like me and for me to want them to be like me. I know this is going to be hard!! I miss my husband terribly, but I miss myself more for the first time.

abandonedluv

I am a woman in my early thirties just coming to terms with the monster my axbf alcoholism has turned me into.

I blames myself for so long for what I had become and often, would think to myself that I was making things worse because of my withdrawing, despression and lack of motivation.

In reality, it was the energy I put into him and "us" that was draining me of all my spiritual resources. I literally felt/feel like an empty shell because I have given him everything in me trying to make him "better".

Good on you for the free/alone time. Take advantage! Reflect!

And best wishes

Supersarah

Gosh, I can totally relate to this. My AH has left now and every so often I'm seeing a glimpse of my former self. I like her a lot! She appears during tickle fights with the kids and if I force myself to go out with old friends or invite them over for a meal. Disappears again after contact with the addict. I'll not be this grumpy old cow! I can find myself again and so will you.
S