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Just when I had some hope

Old 12-14-2011, 01:38 PM
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Unhappy Just when I had some hope

My son is scheduled to get out of rehab on Friday and go to a halfway house on Monday. There is an outstanding warrant for violation of probation for him, and I just found out they are picking him up on Friday at the rehab. I know this is all his own doing, but, I feel so crappy right now. He looked so good on Sunday when I visited, and he had such a great attitude and state of mind.

His counselor at rehab is faxing all of his paperwork that he is completing 28 days of rehab and what his plans are after, to his lawyer and when he gets picked up his lawyer is going to try to get him a quick bail review. The judge that ordered the warrant is tough, but, my son knew that when he decided to violate his probation.

I am hoping he can be out before Christmas, but, I doubt it, if he gets bail at all. His lawyer said it is a really good thing that he went to rehab and is doing so well, and has a plan in place for when he gets out.

I'm just upset, and I asked his counselor if my son could call me today, and he said he would give him a phone pass to call.
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Old 12-14-2011, 01:46 PM
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Dear Pugs, I am so sorry you are going through this. It is hard when we see progress and then a consequence from before their positive step forward pops up. You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers.
TT
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Old 12-14-2011, 02:26 PM
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yes...may be hard to believe but from the outside looking in it may just be the right timing...everything is in place, and if he is doing well in rehab then he is right where he needs to be. higher power is all or nothing...pray, let go, trust in higher power.
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Old 12-14-2011, 02:32 PM
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Hello OBPuggs:
I agree with Cynical ONe = he's right where he needs to be, but I also realize it's not easy to watch.

I only speak from experience of as a Mother, not wanting to watch her adult children go through any pains of the consequences they brought upon themselves, especially when they are trying to get their life together.

For 10 years I have tried to hold up my 4 ACs so that they wouldn't "go down the wrong road". It has not helped one iota.

Big Hugg to you and your family.
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Old 12-14-2011, 03:06 PM
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Thank you all so much! I just talked to my son and while he sounds a little down, he still seems positive. His counselor is letting him out of rehab tomorrow at 4:00 p.m. so he will have at least a little time to spend with us and his doggie, before Friday. He said he wants to turn himself in, rather than have them pick him up. He said he knew this day would come and he is disappointed, but, doesn't sound as bad as I thought he would.
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Old 12-14-2011, 05:02 PM
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Hi 'pugs' --- I really agree with everyone here. It's a blessing your son is in a good place mentally... this is a very positive thing because he'll be able to face the consequences with a stronger frame of mind.

I hope all goes well but most importantly, that you keep plugging along and doing good for yourself.
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Old 12-14-2011, 05:35 PM
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********{pugs}}}}}}} hang in there.
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Old 12-15-2011, 07:59 AM
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From time to time I still struggle with wanting to protect my daughter from consequences because I have doubts about her ability to cope with the ups and downs of day to day, life without a relapse.

The bumper on her car hung over her driveway onto the sidewalk and she got a ticket for it. It was the end of the world for her and she was hysterical. My internal reaction to her hysteria was fear that she was going to go out and finds some drugs to numb herself.

So I talked her off the ledge and gave her some options including paying the ticket or going to court. ( Likely she did neither and just threw the ticket away).

Learning to control my reaction to her reactions is ongoing work.
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Old 12-15-2011, 04:01 PM
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Well, my son came home last night, and his counselor called me this morning. He said that my son completed the program, did really well, and he was sending all the info to his lawyer, including a letter to the court. My son has to turn himself in tomorrow, and as we speak is out to dinner with his girlfriend. (He loves Kobe Steakhouse and I guess he figures he won't be having steak in jail). He seems a little down, but, resigned to the fact that this is what the deal is. I'm hoping he gets out on bail before Christmas, but, I'm not counting on it. Also, I am going to a meeting tomorrow night. It's my first one, and I think I need it.
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Old 12-15-2011, 04:47 PM
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Pugs, ******{hugs and love}}}}} Let us know how meeting goes.
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