Son in Jail...First Time...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 227
I don't really have any advice but just wanted to let you know you are not alone. My son is 19 and is currently homeless. There are no words to describe the pain. But everyone on here is right, he needs to hit his bottom, there's nothing we can do except allow them to feel the consequences of their choices. At least you know where he is and that he has food and shelter. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 115
Stay strong - you did a great job so far, and I know you can keep it up! You need to do what works for you, but IMHO, do NOT waste funds on paying for a rehab he is not ready for. You do not need to "guide" him anywhere. Im sure he knows the facilities/resources available far better than you do -- addicts hang with addicts. He I'm sure has seen people go to rehab, knows where people have gone in the past, knows where NA and AA meetings are, etc. It isn't that he doesn't know, it is that he isn't interested. Someday in the future he might be ready -- will find the place, have it set up, be at their door with his suitcase, and might not be able to swing it financially. If your mom wastes $15000 now on a rehab he isn't ready for, my guess is there won't be another $15000 for when he IS ready.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
(((((CO))))) Thank you. I forgot that they also have rehabilitation programs.
Yep, we have Gospel Rescue Mission here also. Early Thursday morning (well actually very late Wednesday night) I will be getting the Turkeys in the Oven and starting on the potato salad and the Waldorf Salad. Come home and get a nap, let the pooches out, and ..................... back to the Mission to finish up and get ready to SERVE (Starts at noon).
Last Thanksgiving we served 851 meals. Christmas was 922. The Pastor excepts our figures this year to be higher.
Many that help here along with the current A's in their program are Alumni from their program, that have become useful, promising, full fledged citizens of our society.
I forgot that there is one in LV also.
Please allow your son the 'dignity' to find HIS OWN RECOVERY.
Love and hugs,
Yep, we have Gospel Rescue Mission here also. Early Thursday morning (well actually very late Wednesday night) I will be getting the Turkeys in the Oven and starting on the potato salad and the Waldorf Salad. Come home and get a nap, let the pooches out, and ..................... back to the Mission to finish up and get ready to SERVE (Starts at noon).
Last Thanksgiving we served 851 meals. Christmas was 922. The Pastor excepts our figures this year to be higher.
Many that help here along with the current A's in their program are Alumni from their program, that have become useful, promising, full fledged citizens of our society.
I forgot that there is one in LV also.
Please allow your son the 'dignity' to find HIS OWN RECOVERY.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
you're OK and it's not about you.
Your son's situation is only temporary. 17 days? He'll be out before Christmas. 3 hots and a cot? Not a bad set-up for someone who is complaining about being homeless and hungry (but had enough money to spend on drugs...)
If you go see him, be prepared for him to lie to you. He will tell you that he's done using. Be prepared for him to beg for money. Be prepared for him to blame you. Be prepared for him to beg you to let him come home. He may even find God in jail (my ex did, of course he lost him as soon as he got out...) He'll make jail house promises and they are meaningless. Don't be sucked in. Don't allow yourself to be used by him to cushion his way to his bottom.
Double up on your meetings. Do some volunteer work for people who are truly desperate for help - like little children, abused women or lonely seniors with no families to take care of them.
Your son will be fine. Give him this opportunity to grow. Give him the opportunity to feel the consequences of his actions.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 164
Windblown,
Every time I ready your post, my heart just gets heavy for you. I have no words of wisdom except I agree with all of the advice giving to you on this thread. I know it has to be on of the hardest things to deal with. Get yourself to a meeting, cry if you need to, scream if you need to but reach out to the ones who can put their arms around you who understand.
Every time I ready your post, my heart just gets heavy for you. I have no words of wisdom except I agree with all of the advice giving to you on this thread. I know it has to be on of the hardest things to deal with. Get yourself to a meeting, cry if you need to, scream if you need to but reach out to the ones who can put their arms around you who understand.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((Windblown))
My thoughts & prayers go out to you ~ Being a parent to an addicted child is not easy ~ it doesn't matter how old they are ~ somedays they still "feel" like our babies.
Several people have stated ~ "allow him the dignity" to find his own way
This is a great statement & suggestion.
Today my 33 yr old daughter is in jail ~ I believe it is the 6th time?? It's heartbreaking, she has 3 beautiful children - she is a wonderful mother, highly intelligent, was working on her college degree, had a job, etc. . . but the disease came calling again and for what ever reason - she was lapsed in her program of recovery. . .
Last year at this time, she shared her story at my home group - she had a little over year sober. She told how several years ago when she called me, homeless, broke and begging for a place to stay ~ that I told her no she couldn't live with me and my then AH (her dad who was using too) I told her "Ash, I don't want to rob you of the opportunity of finding your self-respect, dignity and self-love and finding your own way to place of recovery and making the right choices for you and Caroline (her 6 month old daughter)"
She shared with the group that it hurt, but it also let her know how much I loved her and had confidence in her that she COULD do the right thing ~ she just had to find the power to do it.
After that phone called - I believe I cried for days because she truly got a lot worse before she got better. But she did get better - I truly pray she returns to that place of healthy recovery.
I guess my point is - she never would have FOUND that place of healthy recovery if I had continued to step in and give a little help.
Prayers of strength, courage and wisdom for you ~
PINK HUGS,
Rita
My thoughts & prayers go out to you ~ Being a parent to an addicted child is not easy ~ it doesn't matter how old they are ~ somedays they still "feel" like our babies.
Several people have stated ~ "allow him the dignity" to find his own way
This is a great statement & suggestion.
Today my 33 yr old daughter is in jail ~ I believe it is the 6th time?? It's heartbreaking, she has 3 beautiful children - she is a wonderful mother, highly intelligent, was working on her college degree, had a job, etc. . . but the disease came calling again and for what ever reason - she was lapsed in her program of recovery. . .
Last year at this time, she shared her story at my home group - she had a little over year sober. She told how several years ago when she called me, homeless, broke and begging for a place to stay ~ that I told her no she couldn't live with me and my then AH (her dad who was using too) I told her "Ash, I don't want to rob you of the opportunity of finding your self-respect, dignity and self-love and finding your own way to place of recovery and making the right choices for you and Caroline (her 6 month old daughter)"
She shared with the group that it hurt, but it also let her know how much I loved her and had confidence in her that she COULD do the right thing ~ she just had to find the power to do it.
After that phone called - I believe I cried for days because she truly got a lot worse before she got better. But she did get better - I truly pray she returns to that place of healthy recovery.
I guess my point is - she never would have FOUND that place of healthy recovery if I had continued to step in and give a little help.
Prayers of strength, courage and wisdom for you ~
PINK HUGS,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
"I want to MAKE my husband let me offer him rehab. If I don't guide him somewhere after jail and he croaks or goes back to jail I will have even more guilt. Step 1.
Powerless...unmanageable...insane...turn it ALL over. "
Wind, it is not in the best interest of your marriage to force your husband into anything. You must bond together with him and find the balance. I know that all you desire with every bone in your body is your sons recovery. Turn it over to God because He is able to provide the miracle you so badly desire. All things happen for a reason, this time is pure misery and Hell, but it will get better. The journey your son is on is his to travel. We as parents need to let them go and when they are READY for help, they always know they can call on us.
With tender love and prayers to you and your family,
Teresa
Powerless...unmanageable...insane...turn it ALL over. "
Wind, it is not in the best interest of your marriage to force your husband into anything. You must bond together with him and find the balance. I know that all you desire with every bone in your body is your sons recovery. Turn it over to God because He is able to provide the miracle you so badly desire. All things happen for a reason, this time is pure misery and Hell, but it will get better. The journey your son is on is his to travel. We as parents need to let them go and when they are READY for help, they always know they can call on us.
With tender love and prayers to you and your family,
Teresa
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 184
I've been struggling with my parents trying to make them see how they are enabling and being fooled. It hurts to see them like this going through what they are going through. But he isnt in prison (yet) and they havent had to make that decision (yet) thank god. I cant imagine how my heart would break if it were my parents in your shoes.
Just wanted to say my prayers are going out to you and dont second guess yourself. It sounds like you are doing what is ultimately and without question the best thing for him. Dont be manipulated. Hang in there.
Just wanted to say my prayers are going out to you and dont second guess yourself. It sounds like you are doing what is ultimately and without question the best thing for him. Dont be manipulated. Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Drexel Hill Pa
Posts: 11
Sometimes jail actually gives a parent a chance to sleep a little better at night knowing a son or daughter is now safe. As the father of two heroin addicted sons I walked around with my cell phone in my hand every minute of the day, dreading the call that would bring me the worst news of my life. Take some time for yourself and your husband. Visit if you wish and never leave without telling them you love them, but don't accept the guilt trip they will try to lay on you and stand your ground. Take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hello WindBlown, and pleased to "meet" you 
I am so sorry that your son is putting you thru this hardship. However, I am glad that you have good support and that you are getting so many suggestions from people here on SR.
I used to live in Las Vegas not too long ago. I know the town well. One of my best friends was a counselor at the Salvation Army, and I know lots and lots of the people in recovery. I think I might even know that police officer you mentioned.
Westcare and Salvation Army are both excellent programs. They have cancelations all the time, so it's a wait of several months if nobody cancels. If your son gets on the waiting list and calls them every single day he will get in on a cancelation.
However, that will only happen if _he_ calls every day. If anybody else calls they will not take him on a cancelation. The program is for _him_, not for you or any of his relatives.
They will, but not right away. They really want _him_ to call.
When he gets out in a couple weeks he will be free of alcohol and drugs. That gives him a whole lot more options than he has today. He can start by calling the AA central office in Las Vegas. 702-598-1888.
There are several excellent meetings for young people. Las Vegas has a very active Young People's fellowship, better than in most cities. There is a very positive club called the "Green Valley Club" at 3565 E. Post Road. They have meetings every day, all day long. He can call the central office and they will give him directions to the club.
There is a section of AA in Las Vegas called "Bridging the Gap" designed to help people who get out of jail get integrated into recovery. Same phone number 702-598-1888, but it has to be him that makes the call.
And for you there is the "Roundup", happening right now. Today. All day. All weekend. There are Al-anon meetings all day long at the Riviera Hotel
Las Vegas Roundup - 2011
The "marathon" al-anon meetings are free. Just show up. All the other activities have one fee for the weekend. Park around the back of the hotel, up in the structure or in the surface lot beyond it and use the rear entrance of the hotel. The registration desks are right there in that lobby, the marathon al-anon meets are to your left as you enter.
I so wish I were there, it is one of the best recovery events in the whole country. You will meet a _lot_ of people who are both AA and al-anon, and who have kids going thru the exact same problems as yours. You will also meet a lot of young men and women who were those kids and are now living clean and sober. Attend the AA speaker meetings so you can hear from people who are in recovery how they managed to quit the booze and the drugs.
Las Vegas has among the strongest recovery population in the country. Perhaps the world. It's the only place where you can find a meeting of Gamblers Anonymous in a casino, or a meeting of AA in a bar. A lot of bar drunks get brought to a meeting by the bartender, who happens to be a member of AA. You will be surprised when you see how many of the attendees at that "Roundup" are extremely good looking, makes you wonder if they might be "entertainers". Then you'll find out that they are "recovering entertainers" and are working to make a better life for themselves.
Check out the roundup, maybe you can meet your sponsor there. I think you will find it very helpful and informative because you will get a good look at the AA side of recovery, and because you will meet al-anon people from all over the city, and some from other parts of the world.
Mike
I am so sorry that your son is putting you thru this hardship. However, I am glad that you have good support and that you are getting so many suggestions from people here on SR.
I used to live in Las Vegas not too long ago. I know the town well. One of my best friends was a counselor at the Salvation Army, and I know lots and lots of the people in recovery. I think I might even know that police officer you mentioned.
Westcare and Salvation Army are both excellent programs. They have cancelations all the time, so it's a wait of several months if nobody cancels. If your son gets on the waiting list and calls them every single day he will get in on a cancelation.
However, that will only happen if _he_ calls every day. If anybody else calls they will not take him on a cancelation. The program is for _him_, not for you or any of his relatives.
Originally Posted by Windblown 
...but they have not called me back. ....
Originally Posted by Windblown
....And where is he supposed to stay until he gets there if they even have room? ....
There are several excellent meetings for young people. Las Vegas has a very active Young People's fellowship, better than in most cities. There is a very positive club called the "Green Valley Club" at 3565 E. Post Road. They have meetings every day, all day long. He can call the central office and they will give him directions to the club.
There is a section of AA in Las Vegas called "Bridging the Gap" designed to help people who get out of jail get integrated into recovery. Same phone number 702-598-1888, but it has to be him that makes the call.
And for you there is the "Roundup", happening right now. Today. All day. All weekend. There are Al-anon meetings all day long at the Riviera Hotel
Las Vegas Roundup - 2011
The "marathon" al-anon meetings are free. Just show up. All the other activities have one fee for the weekend. Park around the back of the hotel, up in the structure or in the surface lot beyond it and use the rear entrance of the hotel. The registration desks are right there in that lobby, the marathon al-anon meets are to your left as you enter.
I so wish I were there, it is one of the best recovery events in the whole country. You will meet a _lot_ of people who are both AA and al-anon, and who have kids going thru the exact same problems as yours. You will also meet a lot of young men and women who were those kids and are now living clean and sober. Attend the AA speaker meetings so you can hear from people who are in recovery how they managed to quit the booze and the drugs.
Las Vegas has among the strongest recovery population in the country. Perhaps the world. It's the only place where you can find a meeting of Gamblers Anonymous in a casino, or a meeting of AA in a bar. A lot of bar drunks get brought to a meeting by the bartender, who happens to be a member of AA. You will be surprised when you see how many of the attendees at that "Roundup" are extremely good looking, makes you wonder if they might be "entertainers". Then you'll find out that they are "recovering entertainers" and are working to make a better life for themselves.
Check out the roundup, maybe you can meet your sponsor there. I think you will find it very helpful and informative because you will get a good look at the AA side of recovery, and because you will meet al-anon people from all over the city, and some from other parts of the world.
Mike
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
Jail is a consequence of using. It is also a very harsh consequence & a person really needs to have been incarcerated to really grasp it. Many jails today no longer offer "3 hots & a cot" and instead only receive a breakfast & dinner due to cost cutting. Some jails only offer a mat to sleep on & no bed. Jails can be an addicts bottom but others go in and out of jail and get use to it. Jails frequently do not offer anything in regards to substance abuse treatment either due to cost cutting. An addict who is use to using & conning people will, ironically, be on the receiving end of that from older more violent inmates. And yes jails can be, at times, a violent place. It's not summer camp.IMO jails are not the place for addicts to get better. With him being only 18 though I think he may just be "scared straight" as they say.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Just you are correct, however, so Windblown doesn't start tripping out ......................... I will add, since you mentioned Las Vegas, that the Clark County jail is one of the better ones, in the way they are treated. It is newer, they are fed 3x a day, they have day rooms with TV, inmates can play cards, games, read, etc
I doubt he will be 'scared straight' unless he really detests confinement. We'll see.
The worst part of it is trying to visit someone in it. By the time you find out his visitation days and go through all their rigamarow he will be out. Yes, I have been through it, lol visiting sponsees, that were sober, but taking care of the 'wreckage of their past' and getting their 'jail time' done.
Thank you so much Mike for the update on LV. Haven't been over that way in about 4 years, but do know they have TONS of meetings all over the city.
(((((Windblown))))) by all means if it makes you 'feel' a bit better, compile a list from the info given here, with phone numbers and give it to him when you eventually see him. He MUST do the contacting. 99% of 'treatment centers', rehabs, Salvation Army, etc INSIST that the A be the one contacting them.
So, son has to WANT to try recovery and son has to do the FOOTWORK.
Remember, we are walking with you.
Love and hugs,
I doubt he will be 'scared straight' unless he really detests confinement. We'll see.
The worst part of it is trying to visit someone in it. By the time you find out his visitation days and go through all their rigamarow he will be out. Yes, I have been through it, lol visiting sponsees, that were sober, but taking care of the 'wreckage of their past' and getting their 'jail time' done.
Thank you so much Mike for the update on LV. Haven't been over that way in about 4 years, but do know they have TONS of meetings all over the city.
(((((Windblown))))) by all means if it makes you 'feel' a bit better, compile a list from the info given here, with phone numbers and give it to him when you eventually see him. He MUST do the contacting. 99% of 'treatment centers', rehabs, Salvation Army, etc INSIST that the A be the one contacting them.
So, son has to WANT to try recovery and son has to do the FOOTWORK.
Remember, we are walking with you.
Love and hugs,
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
Laurie, you are right I heard and seen the LasVegas jail on television & it appears very modern, clean and not a lot of gang control. I was incarcerated in Cook County (Chicago) and they say it is one of the worst. I'm not sure if hes ever been in juvie jail but adult facilities are not the same. I dont want to scare the original poster but just wanted to point out some of the harder aspects of being locked up. It's not exactly an easy way to live but it is one of the harsher consequences of active addiction.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by laurie6781
....Thank you so much Mike for the update on LV. Haven't been over that way in about 4 years, but do know they have TONS of meetings all over the city.....
Windblown? The point is that he _can_ get his life back on track in Las Vegas, regardless of the treatment centers or the availability of beds. I know hundreds of people who did, and without the support of parents who attented al-anon.
As others have said, everybody here on Sober Recovery is on your side, and those of us who pray are doing so for your son and for you.
Mike
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 278
Thank You All. He is actually in Mesquite...don't kow why he was up there...but he had a friend with him. I know I ca't believe what he tells me because he's in his addiction. I am relieved to hear that Clarke County Detention Center is decent. But my son is in a tiny little town an hour North of here. The cop who arrested him said they watch t.v., make their beds, and eat 3 meals a day. I am actually unable to feel relief until I remind myself to stay in this moment of NOW. I am worried about where he will go on Dec. 10. Salvation Army and the Resecue Mission may be available...if HE WANTS IT. I have written down some of the other numbers and added to my list. I will not offer the grand 15,000 rehab because all of you, my husband, my spnsor...people in the meetings say NO! I am listening to those who have gone before me. I am letting go.....one tiny step at a time.
I am going to an open NA meeting tonight as there are no Naranon mtgs....and to be honest with you...a meeting is a meeting at this point. I go especially if my sponsor mentions it as she did today....or if other people mention a particular meeting...I go all over town. I am practicing open-mindedness...it is fun because there are interesting surprises. I am learning the future almost NEVER turns out the way I PLAN it to be in my
mind. So why worry so darn much. I will allow my son the dignity of making his own choices and dealing with the consequences. I will be visiting him in jail this Sunday. I am told to be prepared for the worst, lying, manipulating, guilt ploys....I have decided to stop worrying about Sunday.....because it is only Thursday.
I will give him a small list of resources...and a booklet...and an NA meeting list...I'm laughing. My sponsor said I wanted recovery much more for him than he wanted it for himself! I will have to say No, it's not a good idea for you to live at home right now. It will be so hard. But then again...the future never turns out like I envision it. I know he will ask to come home....but I have been told he will rob us blind and there will be chaos again. I will have to practice how I will say No. I actually have several sentences written down in a notebook. My head and heart aren't so well connected but that is o.k. My heart would have bailed him out....but I am learning that Love is not always giving someone something....and love of self is not selfish. I feel so dumb not to see what everyone else can see...it is because I am a Mother and that somehow clouds true reality. I have the desire to take care of, to nurture...but it is too late...my son has grown up and I didn't get him back until he was 17. He will be 19 in jail. He will beg us to get him out. I am afraid. I am nuts...no really I am doing much better. Thanks to all of you and the blessed 12 step support groups....the angels and the God that I don't have to understand...
Today is beautiful and peaceful day for me. Just reading and meditating...a little worry....but getting better and a meeting tonight. What did I have for Thanksgiving? Leftover clam chowder.....and it was....well....interesting! You see, I had reservations for three at a nice restaurant today. I had planned to spend it with hubby and AS. Well, AS is in jail and hubby is asleep because he's a workaholic...but hey...he's my best friend...and he is supportive with my AS but definitely tough. So the I have had 0 stress today and I am thankful that my AS is safe, my husband is catching up on sleep and I have done nothing but work through head troubles and read and write a little. And received a lovely phone call from oldest son, who is doing very well at the naval academy and wants me to tell my AS how disappointed and mad he is with him. I will not do this though.
Sorry to write so much. Sending out prayers on the wings of angels to each and every one of you....surrounding all of us in the pink glow of xompassion and forgiveness...for ourselves who must have this first before we can extend it out!
The reason I feel better is because I have been praying all day...trying to let go and allow God to watch over and guide my son. I cry a lot when I talk to people over the phone...or quietly sob into a pillow with the door closed because my husband is napping.
I am going to an open NA meeting tonight as there are no Naranon mtgs....and to be honest with you...a meeting is a meeting at this point. I go especially if my sponsor mentions it as she did today....or if other people mention a particular meeting...I go all over town. I am practicing open-mindedness...it is fun because there are interesting surprises. I am learning the future almost NEVER turns out the way I PLAN it to be in my
mind. So why worry so darn much. I will allow my son the dignity of making his own choices and dealing with the consequences. I will be visiting him in jail this Sunday. I am told to be prepared for the worst, lying, manipulating, guilt ploys....I have decided to stop worrying about Sunday.....because it is only Thursday.
I will give him a small list of resources...and a booklet...and an NA meeting list...I'm laughing. My sponsor said I wanted recovery much more for him than he wanted it for himself! I will have to say No, it's not a good idea for you to live at home right now. It will be so hard. But then again...the future never turns out like I envision it. I know he will ask to come home....but I have been told he will rob us blind and there will be chaos again. I will have to practice how I will say No. I actually have several sentences written down in a notebook. My head and heart aren't so well connected but that is o.k. My heart would have bailed him out....but I am learning that Love is not always giving someone something....and love of self is not selfish. I feel so dumb not to see what everyone else can see...it is because I am a Mother and that somehow clouds true reality. I have the desire to take care of, to nurture...but it is too late...my son has grown up and I didn't get him back until he was 17. He will be 19 in jail. He will beg us to get him out. I am afraid. I am nuts...no really I am doing much better. Thanks to all of you and the blessed 12 step support groups....the angels and the God that I don't have to understand...
Today is beautiful and peaceful day for me. Just reading and meditating...a little worry....but getting better and a meeting tonight. What did I have for Thanksgiving? Leftover clam chowder.....and it was....well....interesting! You see, I had reservations for three at a nice restaurant today. I had planned to spend it with hubby and AS. Well, AS is in jail and hubby is asleep because he's a workaholic...but hey...he's my best friend...and he is supportive with my AS but definitely tough. So the I have had 0 stress today and I am thankful that my AS is safe, my husband is catching up on sleep and I have done nothing but work through head troubles and read and write a little. And received a lovely phone call from oldest son, who is doing very well at the naval academy and wants me to tell my AS how disappointed and mad he is with him. I will not do this though.
Sorry to write so much. Sending out prayers on the wings of angels to each and every one of you....surrounding all of us in the pink glow of xompassion and forgiveness...for ourselves who must have this first before we can extend it out!
The reason I feel better is because I have been praying all day...trying to let go and allow God to watch over and guide my son. I cry a lot when I talk to people over the phone...or quietly sob into a pillow with the door closed because my husband is napping.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: in the tree tops
Posts: 209
Wind, am so glad you had some peaceful quiet time today. Sounds like you are making some good positive plans. Am wishing you more peaceful days ahead.
I totally relate to the sobbing... I usually do it in my morning shower. I think its good to cry if needed, releases stress and emotions.
Peaceful dreams, much love
I totally relate to the sobbing... I usually do it in my morning shower. I think its good to cry if needed, releases stress and emotions.
Peaceful dreams, much love
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hello Windblown
Been there many times. It's rather quaint and sleepy. Once a year they host a huge women's only AA convention called "Woman to Woman", so it's pretty strong in recovery.
Yes it is. Another open meeting you may wish to visit is the "Specific group". Technically it's AA, but a large portion of "AA" meetings in Vegas are really "Any Addiction".
Specific Group | Las Vegas Central Office
That's a great meeting to go to with several other alanoids. Think of it as a field trip where you are going to observe the "wildlife"
Very well said. That is a piece of wisdom that I still struggle with today. Thanks for the reminder
There is nothing wrong with loving your child. Nothing wrong at all. And you are not even remotely close to "dumb". You are exactly what every other member of al-anon is; a perfectly normal human being in a horribly abnormal situation. We have around 10 _thousand_ people on the Friends and Family sections of Sober Recovery, and every single one arrived with the exact same need; to help a loved one sick with addiction.
Learning how to deal with those loved ones is _not_ automatic. That is why there are huge, world wide organizations like al-anon and CODA, why there are therapits, and miles of books on the shelves in the self help section of the bookstore, and thousands of web sites like this one, and even Oprah once in a while.
No worries, write all you want. That's the whole reason SR exists
I do it in the shower, less messy
You are in my prayers, as is your son and all your family.
Mike
Originally Posted by Windblown
....He is actually in Mesquite...
Originally Posted by Windblown
....I am going to an open NA meeting tonight as there are no Naranon mtgs....and to be honest with you...a meeting is a meeting at this point. ....
Specific Group | Las Vegas Central Office
That's a great meeting to go to with several other alanoids. Think of it as a field trip where you are going to observe the "wildlife"
Originally Posted by Windblown
.... it is fun because there are interesting surprises. I am learning the future almost NEVER turns out the way I PLAN it to be in my mind. So why worry so darn much.....
Originally Posted by Windblown
.... I feel so dumb not to see what everyone else can see...it is because I am a Mother and that somehow clouds true reality. ....
Learning how to deal with those loved ones is _not_ automatic. That is why there are huge, world wide organizations like al-anon and CODA, why there are therapits, and miles of books on the shelves in the self help section of the bookstore, and thousands of web sites like this one, and even Oprah once in a while.
Originally Posted by Windblown
.... Sorry to write so much....
Originally Posted by Windblown
.... I cry a lot when I talk to people over the phone...or quietly sob into a pillow ....
You are in my prayers, as is your son and all your family.
Mike
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: in the tree tops
Posts: 209
Re: The comments about why worry.... reminds me of a quote, I forget who said it but heard it on a Wayne Dyer CD....
There is no reason to worry. If you can change it, why worry, you can change it? And if you can't change it, why worry because you can't change it? Therefore, don't worry.
There is no reason to worry. If you can change it, why worry, you can change it? And if you can't change it, why worry because you can't change it? Therefore, don't worry.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ontario, canada
Posts: 540
Your doing a great job. Your son will not hate you. Our son is 24 yrs old, at 18 we bailed him out of jail. We also sent him to a rehab costing 25,000.00. He told us everything we wanted to hear in order to get out of jail. We were going to " cure him".
He got caught using in rehab and was kicked to the curb along with our 25,000.00. In order to start recovery, let him face the consequences. He is safe and, 3 meals a day, also drug free for a few weeks. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
He got caught using in rehab and was kicked to the curb along with our 25,000.00. In order to start recovery, let him face the consequences. He is safe and, 3 meals a day, also drug free for a few weeks. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
