Lies
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 24
1. My friend wants to borrow the kid's Wii
2. I have to take the flat screen to the repair shop
3. I took the sound system too cuz they think it blew the tv's power surge
4. I'm at my dad's spending time with him
5. I'm almost home
6. (2 hours later) I got called to work and _________
7. I didn't get in your wallet, where's the trust?
8. Call them if you don't believe me and make a fool of yourself
9. That moneys gone cuz I'm filing for bankruptcy (What?)
10. Can I borrow your car? Mine is out of gas again
11. I lost my wallet
12. My truck's CD player caught on fire and threw it out
13. The check is on hold (for 2 weeks)
14. There's a bank error and my account is frozen
15. I got a different script because the others made me itch and I flushed them
16. I'm sorry my phone automaticaly goes on airplane mode
17. I never got your voicemail message or text, I better call AT&T
18. No one called at 2 and 3am it was my alarm on my phone
19. Do I LOOK like a junkie?
20. If you loved me at all you would believe me
21. I didn't take any of your percocets you must have taken more then you thought (after comming home from a c-section)
22. Ask your ob for another script to have around the house just in case
23. No, he's clean and a good influence now
24. I have the flu
25. I swear on my kid's life I am clean
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 136
Wow, this actually did make me laugh. I guess laughter is better than crying my eyes out.
1. Me: "How did you spend your entire paycheck?"
Him: "I had to pay ___ because I had an unpaid bill for parts that I bought for an electrical job."
2. Me: "Your nephew's birthday present cost $100?"
Him: "No, but I put something for our new living room on layaway. It's a surprise." (this is at 11pm)
3. I'm not shooting up, look at my arms. (an hour later I walk in on him in the bathroom and find a syringe and a burnt spoon on the floor next to the toilet)
4. I didn't shoot up because when you grabbed the spoon, you spilled it, so I couldn't do it anyway.
5. I'm not shooting up, I found them when I cleaned out my truck. I put them in my pocket and forgot to throw them away.
6. I'm not shooting up, I found them in an old pair of jeans and forgot to throw them away.
7. I'm not shooting up, I found them when I cleaned out my truck (again). I was just about to throw them away.
8. I'm not shooting up, I found them when I cleaned out my truck (again), and I was going to throw them away, but your cousin came over so I hid them in the wall of the bathroom cabinet (where I found them because I am super duper perceptive and can read him like a book).
9. I'm not shooting up. You told me to get rid of anything I had, but I forgot to throw them away (this time I found them in the lining of his boxer briefs - like he really forgot about the syringe and spoon that were sitting right next to his balls, hah)
10. I paid the house note, but the bank teller forgot to give me a receipt.
11. I broke into the safe where my pills are at because I had to give ___ 3 of them. (but there are 7 pill missing)
And my favorite lie of all...
12. I have no idea where all the spoons have gone! (I bought 30 spoons a few months ago, and now I have 14 left. I guess the spoon fairy took them all.)
1. Me: "How did you spend your entire paycheck?"
Him: "I had to pay ___ because I had an unpaid bill for parts that I bought for an electrical job."
2. Me: "Your nephew's birthday present cost $100?"
Him: "No, but I put something for our new living room on layaway. It's a surprise." (this is at 11pm)
3. I'm not shooting up, look at my arms. (an hour later I walk in on him in the bathroom and find a syringe and a burnt spoon on the floor next to the toilet)
4. I didn't shoot up because when you grabbed the spoon, you spilled it, so I couldn't do it anyway.
5. I'm not shooting up, I found them when I cleaned out my truck. I put them in my pocket and forgot to throw them away.
6. I'm not shooting up, I found them in an old pair of jeans and forgot to throw them away.
7. I'm not shooting up, I found them when I cleaned out my truck (again). I was just about to throw them away.
8. I'm not shooting up, I found them when I cleaned out my truck (again), and I was going to throw them away, but your cousin came over so I hid them in the wall of the bathroom cabinet (where I found them because I am super duper perceptive and can read him like a book).
9. I'm not shooting up. You told me to get rid of anything I had, but I forgot to throw them away (this time I found them in the lining of his boxer briefs - like he really forgot about the syringe and spoon that were sitting right next to his balls, hah)
10. I paid the house note, but the bank teller forgot to give me a receipt.
11. I broke into the safe where my pills are at because I had to give ___ 3 of them. (but there are 7 pill missing)
And my favorite lie of all...
12. I have no idea where all the spoons have gone! (I bought 30 spoons a few months ago, and now I have 14 left. I guess the spoon fairy took them all.)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
Oh my favorite was when my alcoholic father tried to lie to this addict/alcoholic.
"I am very careful with my Valium, I only take one a night." The last day he was here he asked if I had any because he had run out (he was here on vacation). No I don't have Valium. Arghhh. I thought about being angry for a few seconds and then chatted with my Mom (she was here too-they've been divorced for 20 years) and we got a chuckle out of that nonsense.
"I am very careful with my Valium, I only take one a night." The last day he was here he asked if I had any because he had run out (he was here on vacation). No I don't have Valium. Arghhh. I thought about being angry for a few seconds and then chatted with my Mom (she was here too-they've been divorced for 20 years) and we got a chuckle out of that nonsense.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: sc
Posts: 62
Lol I think the worse off the dumber the lies the dumbest two I've been told was oh I'm so sweaty bc I didn't want to run outta gas bc of the ac so I didn't turn it on and he had to go change underwear across town bc he sharted now that was funny looking bqck
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Hoosier Daddy?
Posts: 63
As I reflect, I think my ability to now laugh, as opposed to standing there with my head swimming and mouth agape, is a reflection of how much growth I've acheived in the 4 years since the ex-AGF left. To set the mood, she had been in a car accident and had legitimate injuries which led to her relationship with Lortab and Muscle Relaxers. Sound familiar? 
It's also sad that I now know the combination of Hydrocodone and Muscle Relaxers is referred to as a "Las Vegas Cocktail".
With that being said, there are a couple examples that convey her addiction, yet moreso, are a reflection of my denial at the time as I didn't 'get it'. I'm grateful I can find humor in these today.
1) When cleaning a room full of storage boxes after we'd moved, I stumbled across a controlled substance prescription pad. It was green in color which means it was a controlled substance script pad. It also just so happens that her Uncle was a Doctor and it was his script pad. She immediately took possession of it to, "... throw it away"., because, "... we wouldn't want someone to get their hands on that". The comedy in this is that there was a bag for trash right next to us, but she took it into another room to 'throw it away'. Crazy me...
2) If there were a Hall of Fame for excuses/lies/BS, I would HAVE to nominate this one:
Her: "Does your bellybutton ever hurt"?
Me: "Nooooooo....".
I couldn't respond beyond that from the swimminess in my head, but I sure was thinking... W.... T.... F....? Thank God for my growth. No longer do I say, "Ummmm... that's good"., when I'm being fed BS and told that it's sugar.
Many Blessings,
Shaman
It's also sad that I now know the combination of Hydrocodone and Muscle Relaxers is referred to as a "Las Vegas Cocktail". With that being said, there are a couple examples that convey her addiction, yet moreso, are a reflection of my denial at the time as I didn't 'get it'. I'm grateful I can find humor in these today.
1) When cleaning a room full of storage boxes after we'd moved, I stumbled across a controlled substance prescription pad. It was green in color which means it was a controlled substance script pad. It also just so happens that her Uncle was a Doctor and it was his script pad. She immediately took possession of it to, "... throw it away"., because, "... we wouldn't want someone to get their hands on that". The comedy in this is that there was a bag for trash right next to us, but she took it into another room to 'throw it away'. Crazy me...
2) If there were a Hall of Fame for excuses/lies/BS, I would HAVE to nominate this one:
Her: "Does your bellybutton ever hurt"?
Me: "Nooooooo....".
I couldn't respond beyond that from the swimminess in my head, but I sure was thinking... W.... T.... F....?
Thank God for my growth. No longer do I say, "Ummmm... that's good"., when I'm being fed BS and told that it's sugar. Many Blessings,
Shaman
liability/access/toxic
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: NNJ/NYC
Posts: 61
1. I am not addicted to anything, I know how to handle drug use.
2. I care deeply about you.
3. I love you.
4. You are my lover
5. I want you in my life and you are non-negotiable.
6. You have been closest to me for the past year.
7. I only had sex with men in the name of addiction
8. I. can't see you anymore
9.. I am no longer capable of being your friend.
I0. I am really straight. But I am just open minded....(this was after 1 1/2 years of sex with me + 2 years of having sex with a dozen or more men before meeting me....Hardly a female to mention in all that time).
11.. Im truly sorry, but I have to be honest- I DONT want to see you again. Not Monday, not ever, I want you out of my life
12. PLEASE leave me alone, let me go, there will be no more correspondence from me.. this is the absolute LAST time I will have any contact with you.
This is a 2 week cycle...start with number one every 14 days
2. I care deeply about you.
3. I love you.
4. You are my lover
5. I want you in my life and you are non-negotiable.
6. You have been closest to me for the past year.
7. I only had sex with men in the name of addiction
8. I. can't see you anymore
9.. I am no longer capable of being your friend.
I0. I am really straight. But I am just open minded....(this was after 1 1/2 years of sex with me + 2 years of having sex with a dozen or more men before meeting me....Hardly a female to mention in all that time).
11.. Im truly sorry, but I have to be honest- I DONT want to see you again. Not Monday, not ever, I want you out of my life
12. PLEASE leave me alone, let me go, there will be no more correspondence from me.. this is the absolute LAST time I will have any contact with you.
This is a 2 week cycle...start with number one every 14 days
Last edited by SweetB; 07-25-2011 at 06:18 PM. Reason: sapelling
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