So today

Old 12-10-2010, 09:49 AM
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So today

I'm struggling to stay in the present. I keep jumping back and forth between the past, and the future. It was a week yesterday that my 1 year relationship ended. Saturday night was always our night to get together, stay home, go out, but just be together, even though its been 4 Saturdays since we actually saw eachother. I find myself dreading it, and am trying to be proactive in finding something to do to keep myself occupied so I won't sit home and feel sorry for myself.

Added to that, my exah will have our son Saturday night, so I will not even have my boy to distract me. I know from past experience I will sit and dwell on things that depress me. Probly watch the Notebook and cry.

My options seem to be limited, all the usual things I would do (pre-bf) will take me to where I know my exbf will be, and I'm just not strong enough to see him.

"Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives me something to do, but it gets me nowhere." I know I need to stay in the now, but I am having difficulty with it today. Any suggestions would be helpful.
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Old 12-10-2010, 10:33 AM
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I understand how you feel. I went through so many breakups during my 8 years with my exab. A week here, a month there. I watched a lot of sappy love stories in my day to cry and feel sorry for myself when he was not around. Since we are always pre-occupied with all the sadness and drama that fill our lives when they are with us, why not take this time to try to figure out what you like to do, what makes you happy? Just like in the notebook when Noah asks Allie "what do you do for YOU?" She liked to paint. There must be something that you like to do, but maybe never gave yourself a chance to do? I go see movies by myself, I read my Twilight Saga books, socialize on the computer...simple things but fulfilling for me. Life goes on after we detatch. You talked about going back to the past and going into the future....Here is something I read everyday, I have it posted at my desk at work...Stay stong Sister!

Todays reminder:

This day is mine. It is unique. Nobody in the world has one exactly like it. It holds the sum of all my past expierence and all my future potential. It belongs to me to do with whatever I like. I can fill it with joyous moments or ruin it with fruitless worry. If painful recollenctions of the past come into my mind, or frightening thoughts of the future, I will put them away. They will not ruin today for me.
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Old 12-10-2010, 10:50 AM
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Miss Tara,
You brought tears to my eyes. That was just what I needed to read today. I've come to depend on today's reminders, but hadn't found one that really applied to what I'm feeling today. Thank you so much for that. It's going on the bathroom mirror as we speak.
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Old 12-10-2010, 11:04 AM
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April, why not take this opportunity to get out to a meeting and surround yourself with support?

You really have two choices here....stay home and stay blue or get out and do something wonderful for yourself.

I know it's hard to just make that step out, but I promise you that you will be glad you did.

Here's a list of meetings near you, maybe call ahead and make sure the information is up to date.

Good luck!!!

Syracuse AIS
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Old 12-10-2010, 11:13 AM
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That thought didn't even enter into my head! What a wonderful, fantastic, perfect suggestion! It's been so long since I've been to one. Thank you so much for taking the time to look into meetings in my area. I think that would be the ideal thing for me to do, and the lightness in heart after reading it tells me it's the way to go.

Thank you SO much!
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