A pattern I have noticed
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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I have also heard that even good events can trigger a relapse. I picked up on a pattern as well and I attributed it to the fact that he still lives in the same environment and is surrounded by the same things that can trigger his addiction. I've always felt that for some addicts, the only way is to move to a new place where they don't have the memories of using at so and so's house or drinking at that particular bar. That isn't to say that they won't hunt out new ways to access drugs and booze in a new city or town but maybe a fresh start could be beneficial. For some I think that is what it may take.
Persevere, Never give up!
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Stellenbosch, South Africa
Posts: 882
Originally Posted by laurie6781 
I have no answers for you and I have been sober and clean a very long time.
I see the pattern over and over in some and yet in others once they finally 'get it', whatever 'it' is, they go on to live pretty great lives.
The only conclusion I can come up with is that they are 'not done' and the 'fear' of living life sober and clean is greater than the 'fear' of being in addiction.
There are just no guarantees with an A in recovery.
Wish I had the answer.
Love and hugs,
I see the pattern over and over in some and yet in others once they finally 'get it', whatever 'it' is, they go on to live pretty great lives.
The only conclusion I can come up with is that they are 'not done' and the 'fear' of living life sober and clean is greater than the 'fear' of being in addiction.
There are just no guarantees with an A in recovery.
Wish I had the answer.
Love and hugs,
Hi, thanks for this Laurie, i also see this type of pattern happening, you are right in saying ''fear of living''
my AH was an A before I married him, he cleaned up, I was young and didnt realize the full impact of this disease, this year we are married 12 years, 3 years ago he relapsed, then the lies, secrets etc. very heart wrenching stuff, after he fell off the wagon completely, i just left, he was so shocked, then the please come back, I will not do it again, it seems this time, he has lasted 26 days, very sad, but the worst of it is I cant place it if he is drinking or not??? how does one tell?
All i can say is as our poster puts it, the patterns seem to be emerging again? all AH puts it down to as his trigger is stress... so here i am not knowing is he or is he not, what does one do with this?
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 611
The reasons for relapse vary from one individual to another. Here are some reasons I have heard working in this field.
- Fear of success
- Fear of the unknown because things have been so bad for so long
- Guilt
- "I don't know any better."
- Loves the choaos
- "I don't give a "f*ck."
- Has a spouse/relative who won't stay clean
- Stress
- Brain chemistry
- "I couldn't stop the obsessions of craving." "The only thing I had was to use."
These are just a few I can think of off the top of my head. There are a ton of reasons as to why one relapses. It's up to the addict to verbalize and come to term as to why they do. My exabf actually had 2 reasons (fear of success and guilt).
- Fear of success
- Fear of the unknown because things have been so bad for so long
- Guilt
- "I don't know any better."
- Loves the choaos
- "I don't give a "f*ck."
- Has a spouse/relative who won't stay clean
- Stress
- Brain chemistry
- "I couldn't stop the obsessions of craving." "The only thing I had was to use."
These are just a few I can think of off the top of my head. There are a ton of reasons as to why one relapses. It's up to the addict to verbalize and come to term as to why they do. My exabf actually had 2 reasons (fear of success and guilt).
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