Originally Posted by
laurie6781 
I have no answers for you and I have been sober and clean a very long time.
I see the pattern over and over in some and yet in others once they finally 'get it', whatever 'it' is, they go on to live pretty great lives.
The only conclusion I can come up with is that they are 'not done' and the 'fear' of living life sober and clean is greater than the 'fear' of being in addiction.
There are just no guarantees with an A in recovery.
Wish I had the answer.
Love and hugs,
Hi, thanks for this Laurie, i also see this type of pattern happening, you are right in saying ''fear of living''
my AH was an A before I married him, he cleaned up, I was young and didnt realize the full impact of this disease, this year we are married 12 years, 3 years ago he relapsed, then the lies, secrets etc. very heart wrenching stuff, after he fell off the wagon completely, i just left, he was so shocked, then the please come back, I will not do it again, it seems this time, he has lasted 26 days, very sad, but the worst of it is I cant place it if he is drinking or not??? how does one tell?
All i can say is as our poster puts it, the patterns seem to be emerging again? all AH puts it down to as his trigger is stress... so here i am not knowing is he or is he not, what does one do with this?
