SistersHelp

I dunno how to link back to the backstory so I'm starting fresh, like it's new. Except it's not new, it's been a year, four months, and seven days since our niece came here to live with us... first with her mother's consent as she attempted to seek rehabilitation for her various drug addictions. Then through a temporary ex-parte order granted by the courts to keep her safe while her mother threatened to move her back to her home city having not dealt with the addiction. Then... through the interim order that was determined by the Supreme Court to keep her here while her mother got booted from rehab again and again...

Eight rehabs later... it's time to seek Sole Custody, a final order that would put her in our custody, basically, for good. We've faced the fact that it's time to give this child a permanent and stable home and that this is our calling.

Our lawyer sent out the proposal for Sole Custody yesterday. She now has twenty days to respond.

I fully anticipate we will be going through a full trial.

laurie6781

Good for you. I do believe your niece will also be relieved when you finally get 'sole custody!'

I suspect you will. Thank HP you have been 'documenting' all the bizarre behavior and phone calls. Her actions over these last 16+ months has really sealed her fate as to losing custody of her daughter.

Again, we will continue to walk through this with you in spirit. You and hubby are truly your niece's Guardian Angels!

Love and hugs,

Impurrfect

I also agree that you will have a trial, but your "novel" of your sister's behavior will more than show why your niece should stay with you and hubby.

You know you have all of us, cheering you on (I'm STILL not getting into a cheerleading outfit, though ), along with tons of hugs and prayers.

Amy

NeedingHelp7

I don't think a trial will be necessary. I don't think your sister will be advised to pursue a trial. Hoping for the best.

NH7

SistersHelp

Thanks friends.

My sister showed up not only on time, but twenty minutes early for her supervised visit with her daughter today. Not only that but she was wearing clothes instead of her standard pajama bottoms. These things shouldn't be remarkable, but they are.

I wish it was a sign of progress, but I actually think this means that her lawyer has told her we're going back to court and that she better try acting a little more normal for awhile. *sigh*

greeteachday

Here is the last thread if anyone wants to link back.


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-part-ii.html

ZombieWife

I hope things go in your favor. I can't imagine the kind of message this sends to the child--mom's here and dressed and into me / oh wait, where is mom? Stability is so important. Whatever happens, I hope the justice system does the right thing!

Lots of goodness coming your way.

:praying

BigSis

We recently obtained 3rd party temporary custody of both grandboys - ages 2 and 3. Daddy was in prison and mom (our AD) was on a series of meth runs. I like the daddy, and love thier mom. I told the judge that I hope the boys get to know each of them, but what was paramount in OUR minds was that they have stability, security and a firm foundation. The daddy is drug effected, and I doubt he will ever hold a job. Our AD is in jail, currently still having meth-induced psychosis. She was a loving mother when she did visit before the psychosis... now the boys have not heard from her in four months. The daddy lives 300 miles away, and calls about every two weeks...but he doesn't try to chatter to the boys, just sits silent on the other end and cries. As heartbreaking as that is, it is not appropriate for the boys.

Sadly, I think they are ours for the duration.

In the long run, God has no grandchildren... which was hard for me to understand, but I think it means that He works DIRECTLY in the lives of each of us, including the babies. We will have the boys as long as He needs us to have them.

I pray you can move forward in this endeavor with your neice without building too much resentment toward the mom. If she is like my daughter, she has done some nasty things that are difficult to not resent. But I try to remember that this is a disease, and whatever my kid is doing today is the best she can do... if she could do better, she would.

((hugs))

I wish you the very best.

SistersHelp

Wingnut claims she's going back to rehab Dec. 4th. The ninth time is bound to be a charm, right?

laurie6781

R O F L M A O

Thank you Lisa for the unexpected laugh! I love sarcasm don't you?

On the more serious side, I do hope your sister can find recovery, and I do send up prayers for her. Just ................................. at this point .................................. with her addiction and her mental problems ................................ I am not very optimistic, as I am sure you are not also. I would love for her to find the miracle.

Anyway sure am glad that your niece is safe with you and hubby!

Love and hugs,

Impurrfect

I will continue to keep wingnut in my prayers (God loves THAT prayer "okay, God..here we go again...."), but I'm also thanking God for keeping your niece right where she belongs - with you and your hubby.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

NeedingHelp7

The 26th is coming soon sis.

Serenity Bound

Lisa, I bet 9 is the charm..............charm what, I don't know, but a charm none the less. lol


Seriously, I hope she does find recovery. However in the meantime I'm very happy that your niece is continues to be in a safe, normal, loving home.

BigSis, There have been many times I've wanted to seek custody of my 2 grandkids.

God Bless you both for your courage to do what needs to be done in caring for these innocent children.

SistersHelp

Hey you American friends of mine,
Happy Thanksgiving. You've all got lots of stuff to be thankful for this year, I hope. I know I do (although I'm super jealous that Canadian Thanksgiving is over. I could really dig a turkey dinner again...).

No news is good news around here.

Niece turned 13 this week. I'm officially the parent of a teenager... and no stretch marks to show for it!! (At least none from pregnancy... just from pie.)

With thirteen I'm learning just how stupid I really am, and how often I need to have pretty eyes rolled at me to make sure I don't forget it. Indignant sighs punctuate a lot of our communications... and it all makes me grin because it means she's comfortable here, she feels safe enough to push a little, hallelujah she's normal... and because I have another 120 teenagers at work who help me keep my ego in check all the time by reminding me how little I know about everything.

NeedingHelp7

You're officially the parent of a teenager? Did I hear that right? Does that mean the court ordered .......

Impurrfect

ahhhh, the rolling eyes and the sighs Get used to them!! I don't get them that often, since I listen to the same music as Brit, but I still get them when she doesn't want to hear me. She has her cell phone, and when she doesn't want to hear something, it's always "my battery is going dead" as she hangs up on you. I think I will do that next time she asks me for a favor

I'm not surprised your niece is "normal"...she's surrounded with love and support. She gets to be a kid! I can STILL go from absolute amazement at how much I love Brit, to wanting to wring her neck in 3 seconds, but God, I love that girl!!

We have been blessed to have these young ladies in our lives.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

SistersHelp

Heehee, yes, I think "my battery's going dead" is a great answer, especially when you're not on the phone!!! I'm going to give that one a try.

Nope, the court hasn't ordered ANYTHING at this point because Wingnut claims she's off to rehab again and her lawyer has been ignoring our lawyer, probably hoping to buy her more time to finish rehab... I have no particular hope that this one is going to be any different, but I'm no longer on pins and needles these days either. I've finally figured out that Wingnut is all TALK and we'll get there eventually... all in good time.

SistersHelp

Well. Wingnut never went back to rehab. I know everyone here will be just as shocked by this news as I was. She's back in the hospital tonight, another overdose presumably. The only information we were given was that she can't make her visit with her daughter tomorrow because she's been hospitalized. At least in the hospital she's more safe than she is on her own. Otherwise, nothing new to report, which means no news continues to be good news.

And we're on vacation from work/school for two weeks now, which is the real thing where it comes to good news.

Wishing everyone a peaceful holiday.

L

Seren

(((Lisa))) I'm so sorry to hear about your sister and hope that she will be OK. I agree, she is safe where she is, and not pushing her lunacy onto you or her daughter.

Enjoy your time off with your niece and hubby! Peace and Joy, HG

Impurrfect

((((Lisa))) - I'm sorry your sister is hospitalized, but glad she is safe. This is just adding to the reasons of why you should have custody and working in your favor.

I hope you are enjoying your vacation and have a WONDERFUL Christmas!!

BTW, Brit "broke up" with her psychotic best friend and has matured before my very eyes!! No more temper tantrums, screaming and yelling. I've told her, over and over, how much more I like being around her and spend much more time with her (when she isn't with her boyfriend). The ex best friend is still trying to stir up trouble...called Brit, drunk and high, and left a voice mail that she is going to "jump" Brit with another girl...that got Brit riled up, but I am trying to be the voice of reason and explain why she needs to NOT fight back if they show up at the house....simply call the cops.

Her "dad" is still trying to contact her from jail...I guess he wants her to tell the judge "my daddy wouldn't do that". However, I told her what REALLY happened when she was a baby and we had to fight his family for custody..things she never knew. She now no longer wants anything to do with any of them.

I am overwhelmed, at times, with the love I feel for this "child" and I know you feel the same for your niece. Though the circumstances that brought them into our care are less than desirable, we are truly blessed to be able to be there for them and to watch them blossom when they are surrounded by love.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy