As He slips away, I am becoming real again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 34
As He slips away, I am becoming real again
My AH is still 'out there'. He can hardly talk to me on the phone. He sounds like he's always in a rush or he says talking to me makes him depressed and not want to live.
I got a visit at 1 am a few nights ago, by some nice young man in what looked like a costume as a drug dealer for some cheap movie of the week. (I didn't know that some drug dealers actually dressed to look like drug dealers)
Well I was terrified and had my finger on the '9' getting ready to call 911.
I spoke to him via the mail slot in the door.
He was looking for my husband. He wanted his money. Well I said he was gone and I didnt know where.
He believed me as he did not see my husbands truck. He told me that I also needed to know that my husband was seriously messed up. I knew about the heroin but now apprently his crack habit is off the charts. My AH even signed away the brand new EXPENSIVE truck to get some crack (not that it would hold up in court or to transfter ownership)
He is slipping away.
His father is pretty sure he'll be dead soon.
His mother has given us 15 000$ to get out of her house and never wants to hear from any of us again (what did I do other than make this crazy man leave)?...I have 0$ and no job...I was a SAHM
So I will use my half to get a place for a few months (I've been rejected by 3 apts already because my credit is so bad...thanks to him!)
But HE is going to have thousands of cash in his hand!!!!!!!
I told her PLEASE stop giving him cash! She said if uses it on drugs she could care less.
........SHE WANTS HIM TO DIE!
I think she wants all the sympathy from others if he dies and her embarassment will be over....Did I mention she a psycho.
So now the real me starts
I'm not crying for him, I'm crying for all the work I need to do...
I'm excited to not live in fear, pain, and not knowing what is real.
I KNOW WHAT IS F'N REAL NOW.!!!!!!
...My kids, me and our glorious future.
I'm sad that I did not get that cute little appartment near my sons school (that had a decent cheap rent)...
BUT IM F'N HAPPY I WENT OUT LOOKING!
I never thought I would have the nerve to start looking ...
but I know what is real now.
THe real me hurts, but I'm alive and I function and I'm moving forward...slowly.
Hey landlords...give a new single mom a break...stop judging me!
(Im one of the good guys!)
I got a visit at 1 am a few nights ago, by some nice young man in what looked like a costume as a drug dealer for some cheap movie of the week. (I didn't know that some drug dealers actually dressed to look like drug dealers)
Well I was terrified and had my finger on the '9' getting ready to call 911.
I spoke to him via the mail slot in the door.
He was looking for my husband. He wanted his money. Well I said he was gone and I didnt know where.
He believed me as he did not see my husbands truck. He told me that I also needed to know that my husband was seriously messed up. I knew about the heroin but now apprently his crack habit is off the charts. My AH even signed away the brand new EXPENSIVE truck to get some crack (not that it would hold up in court or to transfter ownership)
He is slipping away.
His father is pretty sure he'll be dead soon.
His mother has given us 15 000$ to get out of her house and never wants to hear from any of us again (what did I do other than make this crazy man leave)?...I have 0$ and no job...I was a SAHM
So I will use my half to get a place for a few months (I've been rejected by 3 apts already because my credit is so bad...thanks to him!)
But HE is going to have thousands of cash in his hand!!!!!!!
I told her PLEASE stop giving him cash! She said if uses it on drugs she could care less.
........SHE WANTS HIM TO DIE!
I think she wants all the sympathy from others if he dies and her embarassment will be over....Did I mention she a psycho.
So now the real me starts
I'm not crying for him, I'm crying for all the work I need to do...
I'm excited to not live in fear, pain, and not knowing what is real.
I KNOW WHAT IS F'N REAL NOW.!!!!!!
...My kids, me and our glorious future.
I'm sad that I did not get that cute little appartment near my sons school (that had a decent cheap rent)...
BUT IM F'N HAPPY I WENT OUT LOOKING!
I never thought I would have the nerve to start looking ...
but I know what is real now.
THe real me hurts, but I'm alive and I function and I'm moving forward...slowly.
Hey landlords...give a new single mom a break...stop judging me!
(Im one of the good guys!)
No Day But Today
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 138
Sorry to hear that it's so bad with him. But I'm really glad to hear that you're doing well!
Just keep up with that attitude. Is there a professional you can go to for help with getting an apartment maybe?
Reading how well you're doing really gives me a lot of hope for my future too! Thanks for sharing this great update!!
Just keep up with that attitude. Is there a professional you can go to for help with getting an apartment maybe?
Reading how well you're doing really gives me a lot of hope for my future too! Thanks for sharing this great update!!
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
sorry to hear about him too, but so glad to hear that you are moving toward a better life for you and the kids. i was in your position once with housing and i found out that sometimes women shelters can help with housing, social services and sometimes maybe salvation army may refer you to some place. i pray that your hp leads you to the perfect place for you and your kids. i pray for your peace and i pray that your ah will find his way soon.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
I remember a time when my husband was in that shape...it was the beginning of the end for us. To bad his mom would not let you stay there...you would think she would want her grandchildren in a safe place, she is acting much the same as my mil did. That was the beginning of the end of that relationship to.
The financial mess they leave us in, unbeleivable. I wish you well in your house hunting, is she giving time to find a place or is it move and move now!
Rose
The financial mess they leave us in, unbeleivable. I wish you well in your house hunting, is she giving time to find a place or is it move and move now!
Rose
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 34
Thanks,
I will try to make things as loving and normal for my boys. I've had it with wasting my energy on my AH. I will work things out for myself. I doubt I will ever see child support etc...(I'm sure glad I have a university degree now! I got used to saying it was a very expensive useless piece of paper..it may just help)
As for the MIL, she is so weird I dont want her around the kids anyways. I will give my AH good visitation with the kids (supervised and safe), I doubt he'll keep an intrest.
(He used to blow my mind how good of a dad he was, I was so proud of him. I was a bit jealous I never had such a good dad...how things change)
My family has offered to sign for an apt for me if it makes things easier for me. Lets hope so!
I'm scared out of my mind, but I will handle it.
I will try to make things as loving and normal for my boys. I've had it with wasting my energy on my AH. I will work things out for myself. I doubt I will ever see child support etc...(I'm sure glad I have a university degree now! I got used to saying it was a very expensive useless piece of paper..it may just help)
As for the MIL, she is so weird I dont want her around the kids anyways. I will give my AH good visitation with the kids (supervised and safe), I doubt he'll keep an intrest.
(He used to blow my mind how good of a dad he was, I was so proud of him. I was a bit jealous I never had such a good dad...how things change)
My family has offered to sign for an apt for me if it makes things easier for me. Lets hope so!
I'm scared out of my mind, but I will handle it.
Drug Addiction Has No Mercy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Milwaukie Oregon
Posts: 875
Originally Posted by crazytrain 
Thanks,
I will try to make things as loving and normal for my boys. I've had it with wasting my energy on my AH. I will work things out for myself. I doubt I will ever see child support etc...(I'm sure glad I have a university degree now! I got used to saying it was a very expensive useless piece of paper..it may just help)
As for the MIL, she is so weird I dont want her around the kids anyways. I will give my AH good visitation with the kids (supervised and safe), I doubt he'll keep an intrest.
(He used to blow my mind how good of a dad he was, I was so proud of him. I was a bit jealous I never had such a good dad...how things change)
My family has offered to sign for an apt for me if it makes things easier for me. Lets hope so!
I'm scared out of my mind, but I will handle it.
I will try to make things as loving and normal for my boys. I've had it with wasting my energy on my AH. I will work things out for myself. I doubt I will ever see child support etc...(I'm sure glad I have a university degree now! I got used to saying it was a very expensive useless piece of paper..it may just help)
As for the MIL, she is so weird I dont want her around the kids anyways. I will give my AH good visitation with the kids (supervised and safe), I doubt he'll keep an intrest.
(He used to blow my mind how good of a dad he was, I was so proud of him. I was a bit jealous I never had such a good dad...how things change)
My family has offered to sign for an apt for me if it makes things easier for me. Lets hope so!
I'm scared out of my mind, but I will handle it.
I am excited for you and your children ... take this new lease on life and run with it.
You'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner.Hugs,
Passion
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