Cocaine Addicted Boyfriend
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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Cocaine Addicted Boyfriend
Hi everyone, I am new to this site and have been reading and educating myself on cocaine addiction. A little background, I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now. The first two months were great and then things started to go wrong. Long story short i found out he had a prior addiction to cocaine but was now supposedly clean. He assured me he was clean although he was still going to bars and having beers he said he was fine doing that and it wouldn't lead him back to his addiction. I was skeptical about all of this as I know a lot about addiction coming from a family of alcholics and having gone to Al-Anon. I questioned his so-called recovery program and it didn't sound so good but true to my co-dependent ways i kept going with him. However, i noticed his behavior changing...he was becoming unreliable, angry, and blaming me for everything,,we would fight and then he would storm out and i wouldn't hear from him for a week or so and then he would call back explaining how it was all my fault and that he left because i said whatever,,,well i took the blame a lot and believed him. He had me convinced these arguments were my fault and that is why he would leave and i wouldn't hear from him for days or weeks. Well this went on for a few months, us going back and forth and I really wasn't sure what was going on whether he was using again or if he was right and the arguments were my fault. It has been a rollar coaster ride and It has gotten worse. Last week we went to counseling together which he suggested to work on our so called communication problems which he thinks are mostly my fault. Well the counseling session went well and afterward we had 3 great days and we both decided to continue with counseling and he said he wanted a future together. He told the counselor he was clean and that he was only drinking and hadn't used cocaine in 2 years....I told her in the session i didn't believe that and i was very skeptical of his being sober for 2 years. But, he insisted and siad that a few times he had done percocets for his back pain and that may have been the cause for his acting different.. I was surprised he admitted that becuase he hadn't told me that before. Well, last saturday i had to go to a birthday dinner for a friend and he was going out with his family well I never heard from him for 2 days and then he called with a goofy story of how he fell asleep at a friends house etc. etc. and comes over to my house with no money in his pocket,,,looking dissheveled. I told him I didn't like how things were going and i thought he was using again. Well, he denies it and accuses me of being crazy, yelling at me and saying hurtful things and he said it is over and walked out. That was a week ago and i haven't heard from him since. I called the counselor and cancelled our appt but ended up going for myself anyway. My question is i never dealt with cocaine addiciton and didn't see the signs right away but lately he was spending lots of time in the bathroom and complaining about no money and being tired a lot....he siad he was sick and that was why he was in the bathroom so long so many times. I heard the water running a lot in there too. Is this what cocaine addicts do? Also, he would become very nasty and mean say hurtful things....I have dealt with alcoholics but this just seems much worse and the mood swings are crazy but they have you believing you are crazy. Then at other times he could be the sweetest most loving guy. Anyway, I am just so confused right now and could use some support. Thank You!
Last edited by Butterfly14; 08-15-2009 at 02:37 PM. Reason: spelling
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 102
I was with a cocaine/alch addict for over a year. Let me tell you untill they STOP using you will NEVER be off the rollarcoaster your on now and its going to spiral out of controll. You most likley wont walk away (i sure didnt and still havnt compleatly) but this site and these posts will help alot. The best information Ive found on cocaine is this, I too have been studying and reading for months regarding this brain disease. It only progresses as they keep using, and chances are your relationship isnt what it appears. They tend to have many secrets we dont know about.
How Does Cocaine Work?
Cocaine acts immediately. It is a quick-acting drug. Its effects are rapid from the time of intake. It is, indeed, "super-speed"
It peps and speeds up the brain cells, with these results: mental power is sharpened, physical strength surges.
It causes initially: euphoria or a sense of buoyant well- being, marked by a feeling of complete self-confidence, as well as pleasant hallucinations, visual and auditory. The peak "lift" lasts only briefly, however: only 15 to 30 minutes, although lesser effects linger up to 2 to 4 hours.
When taken in large doses, cocaine moves on to also work and speed up the spinal cord. This is very dangerous. Convulsion may result, even death.
The stimulation is followed often by a "crash" or collapse of the whole nervous system. When tkis happens, death may result from heart failure.
What Are Cocaine's Effects?
Like all drugs of abuse, cocaine yields varying physical and mental effects: a few good, a great many bad. Weighed against each other, the "good" vs. the "bad," cocaine emerges as: a drug that wastes and weakens the body and mind, can even kill, and properly belongs among the outlawed drugs.
The facts about cocaine, what it does to a user:
Initial Lift
Cocaine, which acts quickly, causes initially a sense of wellbeing and self-confidence, a surge of great physical strength and mental alertness, a feeling of being more than equal to any task or challenge. The user is wide awake, feels himself fueled to think, talk, act and work. He does all of these rather compulsively. He is "speeding."
The Crash
A cocaine "lift" is short-lived, however. The peak lasts only 15 to 30 minutes, although lesser effects continue up to 2 to 4 hours. After this comes what they call the "crash," which is marked by: raw nerves, physical,weakness, a feeling of gloom, all coming in a quick sudden, just as quickly as the "lift" or "speed" had come. The user is easily irritated, gets bad-tempered, sulks or gets restless, even becomes violent.
Mental Breakdown
Heavy doses cause unclear speech, confused thinking, short temper, unease and tension, all signs of an impaired mind. When abused, it leads to social, intellectual and emotional breakdown, marked by mental instability, serious psychotic states and long-term personality disordes. A sudden "crash" or withdrawal can also trigger such mental imbalance
Nasal Ulcers
Continued snorting or sniffing cocaine is physically damaging. It causes nasal ulcers and, in acute cases, perforates the dividing wall of the nose. (Ulcers are breaks in the skin or mucous membrane, with festering, disintegration and loss of surface tissues, often attended by pus).
Body Sores
"As in cases of all drugs that are taken by injection, there usually is a lack of sanitary precautions in "shooting" or "mainlining" cocaine. This leads to abscesses, sores and scars where the cocaine was injected, a way of identifying a narcotic or cocaine user.
Overworked Heart
Cocaine speeds up action of the heart, which gets overworked and results in: rapid breathing, soaring blood pressure, palpitations, sweating, severe headache, pallor and, sometimes, heart failure and death. It also numbs the tongue, causes the mouth to dry.
LSD-Type Toxicity
A cocaine user easily falls victim to LSD-type toxicity, with all the dangers in an LSD toxicity seizure. Signs of cocaine toxicity are: rapid heart beat, dilated pupils, stomach cramps, nausea, convulsions, vomiting. Terrifying hallucinations and delusions usually attend cocaine overdose; death can occur.
Unwitting Over-Exertion
Grandiose feelings of super physical and mental prowess, as previously stated, are among cocaine's initial effects on a user. While such "lift" feelings yield great physical and mental work, they unhappily have led users to over-estimate their actual capabilities and collapse in physical exhaustion or break down mentally.
Long-Term Effects
Cocaine abuse can have long-lasting effects, like: physical emaciation, caused by loss of appetite and digestive disorders, and moral degeneration, caused by self-neglect, anti-social feelings and resort to crimes to feed the cocaine habit. Victims become social, physical, and moral wrecks.
Tricky Drug
Cocaine is a tricky drug, a "tricky lady," as some users say. Its effects are unpredictable. A user, instead of getting stimulated or a "high," may sink into a depressed state, even lapse into a coma or unconsciousness.
What Are Cocaine's Hallucinogenic Effects? Hallucinations, which can be "good" or "bad," and fear-filled delusions may occur with cocaine abuse. They can be terrifying.
A hallucination commonly induced by cocaine is a sense of insects crawling over or under a user's skin. Addicts are known to scratch themselves until they bleed in an attempt to dig imaginary insects from under their skin. This has driven victims insane
Delusions of jealousy and persecution are common cocaine results.
These can lead to violence, with the cokie" or "cokehead" believing certain persons are scheming to kill him and, consequently, kills theni in what he believes is self-defense.
A cocaine user is, therefore, a Potentially dangerous person. In fact it is due to the bizarre behavior produced by cocaine that users are called 'crazed dope addicts."
Can Cocaine Kill You?
Yes. In fact, cases of death by cocaine are many. Cocaine can kill you in three ways:
. It can so overwork your heart that it fails to cope with the "hyper-speed" exertion. When this happen5, it break5 down and conks out; you suffer heart failure and may die. The heart is like an engine; it is built for only so much effort and beyond that, it fails.
If you are lucky and your heart holds while with cocaine, you still face your second death-by-cocaine likelihood: Slow death, estimated to take you in about five years. Cocaine medical studies show, cuts down your life expectancy to just about five years from the time you get hooked on this "Super- speed" drug. It takes a heavy toll on a user's liver, heart and body, tests show.
You can kill yourself too. This is a cornmon result of psychotic paranoia (violent, fear-filled insanity). This is caused by terror "trips" in the mind which cocaine abuse triggers, much like LSD and other drugs.
If you read the threads ive posted you may see some of the same pattens or easily relate to what ive been going through. Love is not enough when it comes to cocaine. Your NOT going to win this battle, its something you can only HOPE they do. The mean words, mood swings, not talking to you for weeks, ALL NORMAL babe, been their more than I can count. Heard the nice things, been the sweetest guy you fall in love with. It is the people we know they CAN BE that we fantasize about. Not the people they ARE at the moment. That is what you will need to realize.. i still havnt but i am learning and doing alot better than i was.
If youd like to talk pm me, I will do my best to be their for you and answer any questions you may have.
How Does Cocaine Work?
Cocaine acts immediately. It is a quick-acting drug. Its effects are rapid from the time of intake. It is, indeed, "super-speed"
It peps and speeds up the brain cells, with these results: mental power is sharpened, physical strength surges.
It causes initially: euphoria or a sense of buoyant well- being, marked by a feeling of complete self-confidence, as well as pleasant hallucinations, visual and auditory. The peak "lift" lasts only briefly, however: only 15 to 30 minutes, although lesser effects linger up to 2 to 4 hours.
When taken in large doses, cocaine moves on to also work and speed up the spinal cord. This is very dangerous. Convulsion may result, even death.
The stimulation is followed often by a "crash" or collapse of the whole nervous system. When tkis happens, death may result from heart failure.
What Are Cocaine's Effects?
Like all drugs of abuse, cocaine yields varying physical and mental effects: a few good, a great many bad. Weighed against each other, the "good" vs. the "bad," cocaine emerges as: a drug that wastes and weakens the body and mind, can even kill, and properly belongs among the outlawed drugs.
The facts about cocaine, what it does to a user:
Initial Lift
Cocaine, which acts quickly, causes initially a sense of wellbeing and self-confidence, a surge of great physical strength and mental alertness, a feeling of being more than equal to any task or challenge. The user is wide awake, feels himself fueled to think, talk, act and work. He does all of these rather compulsively. He is "speeding."
The Crash
A cocaine "lift" is short-lived, however. The peak lasts only 15 to 30 minutes, although lesser effects continue up to 2 to 4 hours. After this comes what they call the "crash," which is marked by: raw nerves, physical,weakness, a feeling of gloom, all coming in a quick sudden, just as quickly as the "lift" or "speed" had come. The user is easily irritated, gets bad-tempered, sulks or gets restless, even becomes violent.
Mental Breakdown
Heavy doses cause unclear speech, confused thinking, short temper, unease and tension, all signs of an impaired mind. When abused, it leads to social, intellectual and emotional breakdown, marked by mental instability, serious psychotic states and long-term personality disordes. A sudden "crash" or withdrawal can also trigger such mental imbalance
Nasal Ulcers
Continued snorting or sniffing cocaine is physically damaging. It causes nasal ulcers and, in acute cases, perforates the dividing wall of the nose. (Ulcers are breaks in the skin or mucous membrane, with festering, disintegration and loss of surface tissues, often attended by pus).
Body Sores
"As in cases of all drugs that are taken by injection, there usually is a lack of sanitary precautions in "shooting" or "mainlining" cocaine. This leads to abscesses, sores and scars where the cocaine was injected, a way of identifying a narcotic or cocaine user.
Overworked Heart
Cocaine speeds up action of the heart, which gets overworked and results in: rapid breathing, soaring blood pressure, palpitations, sweating, severe headache, pallor and, sometimes, heart failure and death. It also numbs the tongue, causes the mouth to dry.
LSD-Type Toxicity
A cocaine user easily falls victim to LSD-type toxicity, with all the dangers in an LSD toxicity seizure. Signs of cocaine toxicity are: rapid heart beat, dilated pupils, stomach cramps, nausea, convulsions, vomiting. Terrifying hallucinations and delusions usually attend cocaine overdose; death can occur.
Unwitting Over-Exertion
Grandiose feelings of super physical and mental prowess, as previously stated, are among cocaine's initial effects on a user. While such "lift" feelings yield great physical and mental work, they unhappily have led users to over-estimate their actual capabilities and collapse in physical exhaustion or break down mentally.
Long-Term Effects
Cocaine abuse can have long-lasting effects, like: physical emaciation, caused by loss of appetite and digestive disorders, and moral degeneration, caused by self-neglect, anti-social feelings and resort to crimes to feed the cocaine habit. Victims become social, physical, and moral wrecks.
Tricky Drug
Cocaine is a tricky drug, a "tricky lady," as some users say. Its effects are unpredictable. A user, instead of getting stimulated or a "high," may sink into a depressed state, even lapse into a coma or unconsciousness.
What Are Cocaine's Hallucinogenic Effects? Hallucinations, which can be "good" or "bad," and fear-filled delusions may occur with cocaine abuse. They can be terrifying.
A hallucination commonly induced by cocaine is a sense of insects crawling over or under a user's skin. Addicts are known to scratch themselves until they bleed in an attempt to dig imaginary insects from under their skin. This has driven victims insane
Delusions of jealousy and persecution are common cocaine results.
These can lead to violence, with the cokie" or "cokehead" believing certain persons are scheming to kill him and, consequently, kills theni in what he believes is self-defense.
A cocaine user is, therefore, a Potentially dangerous person. In fact it is due to the bizarre behavior produced by cocaine that users are called 'crazed dope addicts."
Can Cocaine Kill You?
Yes. In fact, cases of death by cocaine are many. Cocaine can kill you in three ways:
. It can so overwork your heart that it fails to cope with the "hyper-speed" exertion. When this happen5, it break5 down and conks out; you suffer heart failure and may die. The heart is like an engine; it is built for only so much effort and beyond that, it fails.
If you are lucky and your heart holds while with cocaine, you still face your second death-by-cocaine likelihood: Slow death, estimated to take you in about five years. Cocaine medical studies show, cuts down your life expectancy to just about five years from the time you get hooked on this "Super- speed" drug. It takes a heavy toll on a user's liver, heart and body, tests show.
You can kill yourself too. This is a cornmon result of psychotic paranoia (violent, fear-filled insanity). This is caused by terror "trips" in the mind which cocaine abuse triggers, much like LSD and other drugs.
If you read the threads ive posted you may see some of the same pattens or easily relate to what ive been going through. Love is not enough when it comes to cocaine. Your NOT going to win this battle, its something you can only HOPE they do. The mean words, mood swings, not talking to you for weeks, ALL NORMAL babe, been their more than I can count. Heard the nice things, been the sweetest guy you fall in love with. It is the people we know they CAN BE that we fantasize about. Not the people they ARE at the moment. That is what you will need to realize.. i still havnt but i am learning and doing alot better than i was.
If youd like to talk pm me, I will do my best to be their for you and answer any questions you may have.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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Thank You both so much for this. It is nice to know i am not going crazy they have you thinking they are totally sober and any problems that are happening are becuase of your mistrust and accusing them of doing drugs of which they are not!!! I realized that i was becoming as sick as as him when i would repeatedly call him and he would hang up and i would call back and rant and rave etc. i was getting as crazy as him. That is why i took out the al-anon books started reading about Adult children of Alcholics and getting myself back to myself. I haven't called him since he walked out a week ago and said it was over. I felt sad about it but also relieved becuase i finally know now that he is back on the cocaine and it wasn't all in my mind. They can be so convincing at the lies and in blaming you so you never look at them. I know i have allowed myself to be treated in ways that are less than i deserve. I really do know better as i have been down this road once before with an alcoholic and once with a boyfriend who was hooked on opiates but i got out of that one fast it scared me so much. I never dealt with cocaine and wasn't familiar with the way they act but now i know and have begun to move on and I won't contact him but i fear if he contacts me i may fall for the I am going to meetings again etc. all the usual lies and I need to stay strong. Right now He isn't even at the point where he admits he is using again though all the indicators are there he refuses to admit it and is in total deniel to me. I know that until he seeks help for himself there is nothing i can do but walk away. I am reading now the book Women who love too much,,,what a great book and am seeing myself in so many stories. I am grateful i foundn my way here. Thanks for your support!!!
Last edited by Butterfly14; 08-15-2009 at 04:32 PM. Reason: spelling
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i seen that book but didnt read it youll have to let me know how it is, i got a great book called addiction, getting past your breakup, and how to break your addiction to a person. books help alot, but i found once they were finsihed, my sadness came back and i kept seeing the relationship for what it WASNT. please have the strength to keep NC it is so much easier the quicker you try an get over this. I am in the same boat of not being sure if im strong enough if he ever calls or trys to contact me. I want to be their for him forever if he ever needs help. Cocaine is such a bad drug. I have done the drug long before I met and dated my ex but it wasnt for me and I am lucky I never was addicted and could STOP. keep posting on this site and remember your not crazy they TRY and make us feel that way because thats how they feel and they know they have problems.
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I am also reading How to break your addiction to a person,,it is a good book but your right the feelings of missing them comes and goes no matter what book your reading. WHy do we miss them when they treat us so bad most of the time????? I keep askign myself that question...yes we had good times and yes he can be very loving but the bad times are more than the good so it should be easy to let go but it isn't. I am missing him tonight but I will maintain my NC I just get scared shoudl he contact me again what i will do...How do you stay strong? What have others done? I would love to hear that. I was very happy when he asked to go to counseling thinking maybe we coudl both get better and stay together but within 3 days he was back to the disappearing act and showing up with no money and going in my bathroom a lot. I asked him to leave then and told him i thought he was using and he turned it all around on me and said i have issues and he is done with me!!! the nerve of him. I was trying to break up with him for what he had done over the weekend and he sensed it and broke up with me instead. It is amazing how they turn everything around. He stormed out and siad forget counseling i am not going again i am done with you and your problems. Amazing. I let him go and never called which is a big step for me as in the past i would follow him out and continue arguing and then call him and argue some more well but in that moment i just said let him go and i went in and took out my ACOA books and started focusing on what i could control ME. I still think about him all the time but with everyday i am doing better.
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do you have an email address? yes i tried to pm you twice lol... well the breaking addiction book didnt help much it was good but i didnt grow up not being loved by my parents, and i felt thats what the book was based on. to stay strong i GO OUT, for walks with friends, starbucks, sushi dates, movies (even tho that made me cry cuz i wasnt with my ex) its very hard. i have days where i am so happy and dont miss him then days where i am so upset i cry every minute. their is no way to know when that will go away everyone recovers at their own speed. ill post on here what ive delt with the past year so u can see ur NOT alone sweetie. i got told i was f'd in the head, crazy a b*tch when all i was WAS giving and loving. people like this cut down healthy people.. they want us to feel what they feel. cocaine is SO bad. i know ur hurting right now, missing them wondering what their doing is SO hard.
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Yes it is amazing how they tell you how your crazy, you have issues, you need help I have heard it all and at times i believed him...but don't we all have issues....it is easy to say that to avoid looking at yourself. I come from a family of alcholism so he is right I do have issues but the fights we were having weren't over my issues they were over his erratic behavior and nasty words and not showing up etc. but he always tried to blame it on me and my issues. He denied any involvement in drugs again and siad he was going to meetings etc. and he was clean it was very decieving. THe thing is i wanted to believe him even though i had serious doubts i choose to ignore the warning signs and keep going and for that i have to take responsiblity for my own actions and the crazy behaviors i did in response to his crazy behaviors!!! I can see that my staying with him i was getting pulled back into my own codependency issues big time. It is scary how quick we slip back into it without even realizing it. But i knew last week i needed to get back to working on me and leave him alone. It is hard though becuase i think about him a lot and wish it could have been different. He made so many promises but never kept a one. That is what hurts most letting of the dream of what could be but won't be. That is the thing that hurts most becuase in reality losing who he is now isn't really a loss. Sad to say but true. I just have to stay strong becusae they always call again and know the right things to say to hook you once again. It's always when your finally doing better and getting over them. Then the call comes and sets you back once again. How do you break out of that?
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
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Originally Posted by Butterfly1114 
I just have to stay strong becusae they always call again and know the right things to say to hook you once again. It's always when your finally doing better and getting over them. Then the call comes and sets you back once again. How do you break out of that?
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Great post. So when they call i guess is it better to not answer at all then to get into a conversation. This way your not tempted to go back. It is hard to do though when you hear the messages on your machine.....I just need to remember that nothing changes when you go back. I wonder now if there are happy endings where the guy gets into recovery and the relationship work out why does it seem there are so few stories like that,,,sad really.
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
i think there are a lot of success stories, i've been clean and sober for yrs this time but i can't forget that i'm still only one hit away from being hopelessly strung out. its an individual thing. now the question would be, how long are you willing to wait to see if your addict will ever decide to get clean and commit to working a program of his own.
for me, it was better not to answer the phone, until i was sure i was strong enough to not allow his call to affect me in any way, i'm ok now, and still don't choose to answer and its been almost 2yrs.. it was enough for me just knowing he tried to call. i knew the drill and i so far i'm not willing to go through that drama.
today, i'm not hurting or angry, after 2yrs, i really don't see no sense in answering most of his calls, he's still doing the same thing as far as i'm concerned. it takes time but you will get there if only you continue to keep the focus on you. he's gonna do what he's gonna do and there is nothing you can do or say to make him do otherwise. he has to be ready to focus on him getting better before he can ever be good for you or anyone else. hope this makes some kind of sense.
for me, it was better not to answer the phone, until i was sure i was strong enough to not allow his call to affect me in any way, i'm ok now, and still don't choose to answer and its been almost 2yrs.. it was enough for me just knowing he tried to call. i knew the drill and i so far i'm not willing to go through that drama.
today, i'm not hurting or angry, after 2yrs, i really don't see no sense in answering most of his calls, he's still doing the same thing as far as i'm concerned. it takes time but you will get there if only you continue to keep the focus on you. he's gonna do what he's gonna do and there is nothing you can do or say to make him do otherwise. he has to be ready to focus on him getting better before he can ever be good for you or anyone else. hope this makes some kind of sense.
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Hi Butterfly, welcome to SR. I am the mother of a 22 AS to cocaine now smoking crack. Addicts will always deflect the blame to others. They lie, cheat and steal. The main objective is the drug. If my AS cant get the drug he will alternate with alcohol, wich he now tells me it makes the craving worse. Life with an addict is like living on a roller coaster. If my daughter were to date an addict I would tell her to run from the relationship. The risk of relapse is extrememly high. Most people would not know my son is an addict he is smart, good looking and very charming ( manipulative). Until he is truly ready to change, nothing will change. Most it takes hitting rock bottom, and rock bottom is different for all of them. You are whats important. Do you really want a life of turmoil, heart ache and sadness.?
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Hi Katie44 & Teke, Thank you both for these messages. It is funny but my BF is also good looking, charming, and very manipulative. So on the surface people believe that he is sober and in recovery when he tells them it...even the counselor we went too said to me that he is a very good looking guy,,,very easy to be decieved by his appearance...he always looked groomed in public and never like a "addict" would look so to speak. THat is why it makes me look like i am the nutty one accusing of him somethign that is in his past so he claims...I am not buying it one bit though becuase i see what they dont' see alone with him. Plus, he is alwyas broke at the end of a weekend which makes no sense given he has a good job with a union...and makes a lot of money.....he is 41 yrs old and now living with his mother and driving a crappy beat up truck.....he shoudl be rolling in the dough with no kids and no bills but he isn't.... a further clue to me that the money is going somewhere and it isn't on me!!!! Is it common for coke addicts to binge??? i was reading on-line that they go on binges with the drug because it is so short of a high they needs to keep doing it every 1/2 hour or so and they do it till all the money is gone....this would explain the disappearing act for days at a time...anyway, I am just disgusted with the whole thing at this point and know that i just need to work on me and detaching from this. He is in complete denial so i think it will be awile if ever that he is ready to get into recovery. i am not waiting for that to happen....I could be in for a long wait since this seems to be a pervasive problem and at 41 is still continuing to do this despite rehabs in the past, meetings etc. He is back at it again.
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Cocaine and crack are very difficult addictions to beat, but there are members here who have done so successfully. Binge use is how my future stepson goes about his crack addiction. While he was still living in his father's house, he would be gone for about three to five days at a time, then crash for about 3 days.
Welcome to the boards....read around...there is lots to learn!
Hugs and prayers, HG
Welcome to the boards....read around...there is lots to learn!
Hugs and prayers, HG
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How can you tell if it is crack or cocaine they are using? seems that both are binge drugs but since you smoke the one drug I can't see him using that in the bathroom because i would have smelled it I assume? I have no idea since I never did either drug, actually i never did any drugs except a social drink here and there so it is hard for me to tell what is going on here and which drug is being used...it could be crack for all i know. I do know that he is broke after these binges and coughing and congested and tired. I was reading online that cocaine causes nosebleeds but i have never seen that on him,,,,I am also wondering if the drugs cause a loss of libido becuase he never seems to have any desire after he returns from these epsidoes which is unlike the usual him. Is crack worse than cocaine? It's all So confusing but the bottomline is no matter which drug it's all bad and a dead end.
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Oh my God,,You are right he was in the bathroom and the water was running a lot!!! I kept thinking what the hell is he doing with the water on so much (i was hoping cleaning my bathroom LOL) but seriously he always had the fan on in the bathroom and the water running and went thru lots of toilet paper. I bet it is crack..oh how awful. He also always had water with him constantly had a bottle of water, claiming it was healthy to drink water seemed excessive to me. I know its not worse but from what i am reading it is more addictive than snorting the cocaine and harder to get off. Your right it doesn't really matter it's all drugs. thank you for sharing.
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Now I am also frightened for my health and having had sex with him. I can only imagine what goes in those places and it must be horrible. Now I am worried about my own health and should probally go and get tested. Jeeze,,,what a mess.
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Do they drink lots of water as well? he always had a bottle of water with him. Weird. Anyway, now i am worried and will go get tested. What a mess i got myself into should have ran when i saw the cold sweats and little appetite but i was actually stupid enough in the begining to believe him when he siad he had the flu.....what a fool i have been.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Midlands
Posts: 201
Hi Butterfly,
Sorry to hear you're going through this with your boyfriend.
I have been going through the same. Coke and alch binger. It's never fun. The mood swings are rediculous i agree. One minute happy, next minute angry and irritable at everything.
My abf would get high, and if he had no company he would phone everyone on his phone book and talk them to death.
It really is an emotional rollecoaster and one that's difficult to get off. Even for us codies.
You love the "sober" time with them but hate them when they use/binge.
Coke is a difficult habit to break as has already been pointed out.
I'm here and so are many others to help you if you have any more questions.
Plus i think you're doing a good job with educating yourself on the subject.
~Limiya~
Sorry to hear you're going through this with your boyfriend.
I have been going through the same. Coke and alch binger. It's never fun. The mood swings are rediculous i agree. One minute happy, next minute angry and irritable at everything.
My abf would get high, and if he had no company he would phone everyone on his phone book and talk them to death.
It really is an emotional rollecoaster and one that's difficult to get off. Even for us codies.
You love the "sober" time with them but hate them when they use/binge.
Coke is a difficult habit to break as has already been pointed out.
I'm here and so are many others to help you if you have any more questions.
Plus i think you're doing a good job with educating yourself on the subject.
~Limiya~
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