whereami

I have been so good about NC with my ex and I had a message from him about a new job, insurance a new apt etc etc...I just need some encouragement...I am doing the right thing staying strapped for help and money and knowing that it will take me at least a year to get on my feet...he talks about helping me with her on the message and how he has just been stressed b/c of work...this is quacking right? I have to remember his cruddy actions for so long.,..he sounds sober and happy and so clear on the message and it weirded me out b/c i am depressed and unsure...I just need encouragement I am sorry this is pitiful I should be stronger, his mom wants him out by June this has to be manipulation right.?!?! Help I am so vulnerable today for some reason...My stomach has been killing me with anxiety and I am so broke this just seems to good to be true and it is right?

Impurrfect

Yes, sweetie, this is quacking. He can get the new job, a new apt. all on his own, start sending you money that he should have been sending you all along, and THEN, maybe, his actions will actually start to resemble his actions.

His mom wants him out, and he's running out of options, so he's pulling at your heart strings. Stop listening to the messages and texts. If you MUST respond to anything,

I know this hurts and it sounds good, but I promise you...he's full of ****. If he can do all this now, he could have done it a long time ago.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

laurie6781

Yep, it's QUACKING.

His actions will tell further down the road. See if and when he starts sending Child Support ON A REGULAR BASIS.

Sounds to me like you are right, he's feeding you another line of bull, because mom wants him out in less than 10 days, and he's wanting to 'lure you back' to keep his nice 'cushy' life style, ie you will take care of everything.

Be strong, please DO NOT respond!

Come here, rant, rave, scream, cry, laugh hysterically, what ever just do NOT reply.

Love and hugs,

whereami

OK here is what I did I texted him and said :"as far as i am concerned you are a liar and a jerk dont contact me anymore goodbye" I am done and I am getting a lawyer Monday period...I am tired of this

Oh and I just called his work at 830 and the boss said he is a liar and a thief and is fired...I guess that is why he has a new job. I am so done...I feel so strong right now b/c I have thrown away that sim card broke it so I wont be tempted and he doesnt have my new number. I really am done!! Yay

whereami

I will print all my diary entries since I met him, bank statements, bills etc. and bust his butt I am sick of him getting away with this. I am also asking for statements from his 2 employers on him missing work, borrowing money and then not showing up and lying. I also have 2 voice mails from his mom and boss both yelling about his behavior. I will do this because my baby comes first!! Keep me in your prayers...

lovelylady

I am new to this ( giving my response)....Yes, I think so, if thats the term- QUACKING- and you spotted it. I like the sound of yr anger , its motivating you to take control.....

The last time I heard the clear voice on my voice mail, slating me for 'getting it wrong, I should have waited' etc he now had a big promotion, was back to training/cycling ,coke was all in past and he wanted to be committed to being with me /kids, would bring his things round and move in.............turned out his house had been repossessed!!!!!

Using yr optimism that things are in good shape to manipulate.
Brilliant you saw it for what it is

splendra

((((whereami))))

Good going please stay done!! It sounds like you are over half way home.

whereami

I am journaling as recommended by an invaluable source and I am also organizing my room and things to go camping. I already feel clearer in the sense that I need to look at what I am doing for my recovery and what I will do is get some counseling and definitely start excercizing again. I am making a list of a few things I need for the trip and will see if my mom will watch the little one so I can get out for a bit. I am taking charge of me again and it is time. Thank you all because I truly appreciate you...

cassandra2

One thing that helped me through all of this was to realize that when the addict starts quacking like that it was a way for them to see if they could get back "in". If things were soooo good they wouldnt be talking about how GOOD life is and yada yada they would just be living a good life.

I also told myself, if things were so GOOD he wouldnt be using drugs. Usually when we leave its because for them drugs are no longer fun they have turned into miserable people. Addicts can move, change jobs, change SO's, and whatever else they change externally but the sad fact is that they dont change themselves and so things wont ever be BETTER or GOOD.