HurtingDad

I haven't seen him in over 6 months, he's been homless the last two.

He goes to pick up his methadone early Saturday AM and gets a 'takehome' for Sunday. I'll meet him at a hotel in Midtown Sat. AM, we'll get lunch, walk around and I'll probably buy home one (1) outfit of clothes. Then we'll have dinner and stay at the hotel. I have to take the bus home early Sunday morning because of plans, but he can rest there until 12 noon. This way he gets a night off the street, some good food and we'll talk.

I know it will be tough on him and me, but we do want to see each other.

Wish I could do more but it's up to him. I don't think what I'm doing goes to far over the codie line, but it's what I want to do. I'll probably pick up a few McDonalds, Whole food gift cards, etc.. while I'm there for him.

I'll let you know how it went.

littlebird77

I really don't want to be the one to say this, but if i don't and something happens, I will feel guilty... -watch your property dad (wallet) while you are sleeping... I really hope the visit goes well and I hope maybe your son will seek the help he needs. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

marle

I have a story in one of my books about a dad with an addict son. The son was homeless and had been an addict for many years. In all those years, the dad did not stop loving him. He would not enable the son's addiction, but he would go visit his son and buy him a meal and maybe some warm clothes. The son did get clean and the one thing that he said kept him going all those years was his dad never giving up on him. So you do what you have to do. I will never give up on my daughter although there are times when I don't want to see much of her. Hugs and have a nice weekend. Marle

Impurrfect

(((hurtingdad)))

I'm glad you're going to see him and don't think it crosses the codie line at all. My dad did the same for me.

Unfortunately, though, Littlebird is right. Not only do I closely watch my stuff around other A's, I carry very little money because I'm not so sure I can't still be manipulated.

I'm really glad you're going to see him. Yes it will be hard, but when my dad used to come see me, it made me realize that I wasn't totally bad if he still loved me.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

grateful2b

(((Hurtingdad)))
i am glad for you both that you are going to have some time together..
I remember how hard it was to connect with my AD when she was on the street, so tough on the heart, but I believe that no matter their choices we want to let them know we love them and when they are ready for some help, we are in their corner....
walking that line can be tricky but you seem to be clear about where it all is...I feel the love you have for your son... Grateful

Jewelz

I hope the goes well but I am sure the visit is going to hurt. I just want to let you know.. I live in nyc as well and wanted to let you know before you get the gift cards that in nyc your able to cash in the gift cards at Check and Cashing places. While I know your thinking that he could use it for food most likely he probably will cash them in. I guess if its going to ease your mind than its okay but I wanted to let you know.

I'm sorry for the pain you have been in and I pray for you and your son.

hugs,
Jewelz

winnie12

The codie in me says "put a gps tracking device in those new clothes" that way we can see where he is and/or what really happens to all these clothes on the street

Seriously, my heart goes out to you - you are a wonderful dad and he is so blessed to have you. You know, parents with those "good kids" (you see them on tv and hear about them from your coworkers ALL the time) get to do nice things for their kids - I think we should be allowed to do some nice things for our kids now and then.

Ann

Enjoy your visit with your son. I'm sure he knows how much you love him, but visiting is a good way to have some time and fun together.

And yes *sigh* don't lose sight of your valuables.

Hugs

outtolunch

I am probably being naive here....and have no first hand knowledge of MMT...It reduces the craving for opiates, right?

In theory, he should be capable of some kind of employment or community service or something productive, even if it's ringing a blasted bell in a Santa Suit. I mean no offence when I wonder what's in it for him to remain in a state of inertia.

Regardless, meeting him will probably do you both a world of good. Are you sure it makes the sense to leave him in the hotel room, while you depart early, for home?

littlebird77

Methadone maintenance is really just keeping the cravings level for the day, this is why they call them liquid handcuffs. If one misses a dose of this, it would be the same as going through withdrawals. The goal is to lessen the dose in time, so it gradually leaves the body. As far as the son getting a job, you can't get a job if you don't have an address, it's as simple as that. What this young man needs is a job for recovery.... Hurtingdad, I really hope he can see this... keep giving him love.

beegee

I hope you enjoy your visit with your son as hurtful as it may be. Maybe a bittersweet story but I think what your doing is a good thing. Because everyone here seems to say, I always knew my mom, or Dad was there no matter what I did, they loved me. Not enabled me but loved me inside.

But I would agree, be careful of your wallet, hate to say that but reality says guard it. Have a good visit Hurting...

NeedingHelp7

Hurtingdad, I hope you enjoy your visit w/ your son.

Freedom1990

I'll be keeping you both in my prayers! :ghug :ghug

Spiritual Seeker

What a lovely plan for the weekend between a dad and son.
Keep it simple and enjoy your time together.

Chino

HD, I've read your other posts and didn't have anything to add to what others said. Just want you to know I've been thinking about you all day long, that you and your son are in my thoughts and prayers.

You are an inspiration

Impurrfect

((((Hurtingdad))))

You're on my mind, too.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

greeteachday

It is a nice day today in NJ and NY - I hope you are enjoying the time with you son. I know it is hard, but I suspect it will be a good thing for both of you. Your love for your son is so clear in your posts.

mooselips

Dad,
I hope you're having a good visit with your son. I can see the love you have for him pouring out in your posts.

Not to worry, you are in no way enabling him, you are showing you love him unconditionally.



Hugs....

sistergldnhair

Hoping your visit went good. Was cold last night and I'm glad he had a warm place to stay with you for the night. I'll look forward to your update on your visit.

Jewelz

Hey I started thinking about, hope your visit went well!

Hugs,
Jewelz