Said "no" to more drama...
To Life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Said "no" to more drama...
Well, nothing changes if nothing changes. And Trevor keeps on doing the same thing. But, *I* don't! :>)
My nephew came home from Japan and Germany recently. Trevor and I were to see him today for the first time in two years. He was supposed to come to my house on Saturday, but, chose not to. Last night, he called and said he would meet me here today, with his g/f and her kids.
I will no longer allow the g/f and kids at my house. On three occassions, she, Trevor and the children have trashed my house, and left it a mess for me to clean up, while I was at my mom's house. Food, dishes, laundry, toys; a total pigsty! And she went into my clothes drawers and wore my things! And she dropped Trevor off here the last time he OD'd too; drove him to my house from the city, only to call the neighbors, to call the ambulance, to bring him -- yes -- to the city to the hospital!
I told her then never to come back to my house. I've had enough of the nonsense.
Well, I got a call today at my mom's, where we were to meet my nephew. Trevor was stopped by the police in Mass. He was driving. He has no liscense. He has outstanding warrents in Mass. He wanted me to drop everything and come and rescue the g/f's kids. Said they would go to DCYF (child services) if I didn't. I said "no."
I'm very sorry for him, her and her kids. I had nothing to do with any of it. The two of them made very bad decisions, and have to live with the consequences of them. I was here to see my nephew, and that's what I did.
We had a nice visit. Had lunch; went for a walk on the beach; talked up a storm and look forward to see each other on Thanksgiving. He hopes Trevor will be with us on Thansgiving as well; was sorry to miss him; and sent his best to him. The kid's got class.
In the past, I would have been running around on my day off. I would have missed my visit with my nephew. I would have been stuck with two young children, and heaven only knows what I would have done with them tomorrow when I had to go to work! (Trevor said to drop them at their house; well, what if no one was home??? No thanks! I cannot take that responsibility, and I do not want it. And besides, something else was fishy; since *he* was the one who was caught driving without a liscense, there was no reason *she* couldn't have taken her kids away...nope! Something's wrong here, and I want *no* part of it!) Anyway, I digress...in the past, I would have fully resented missing out on my plans; and I would have been tired and cranky. Instead, I let the chips fall where they may.
I followed through with my own plans, and had a wonderful day.
It's good taking care of me.
Shalom!
My nephew came home from Japan and Germany recently. Trevor and I were to see him today for the first time in two years. He was supposed to come to my house on Saturday, but, chose not to. Last night, he called and said he would meet me here today, with his g/f and her kids.
I will no longer allow the g/f and kids at my house. On three occassions, she, Trevor and the children have trashed my house, and left it a mess for me to clean up, while I was at my mom's house. Food, dishes, laundry, toys; a total pigsty! And she went into my clothes drawers and wore my things! And she dropped Trevor off here the last time he OD'd too; drove him to my house from the city, only to call the neighbors, to call the ambulance, to bring him -- yes -- to the city to the hospital!
I told her then never to come back to my house. I've had enough of the nonsense.
Well, I got a call today at my mom's, where we were to meet my nephew. Trevor was stopped by the police in Mass. He was driving. He has no liscense. He has outstanding warrents in Mass. He wanted me to drop everything and come and rescue the g/f's kids. Said they would go to DCYF (child services) if I didn't. I said "no."
I'm very sorry for him, her and her kids. I had nothing to do with any of it. The two of them made very bad decisions, and have to live with the consequences of them. I was here to see my nephew, and that's what I did.
We had a nice visit. Had lunch; went for a walk on the beach; talked up a storm and look forward to see each other on Thanksgiving. He hopes Trevor will be with us on Thansgiving as well; was sorry to miss him; and sent his best to him. The kid's got class.
In the past, I would have been running around on my day off. I would have missed my visit with my nephew. I would have been stuck with two young children, and heaven only knows what I would have done with them tomorrow when I had to go to work! (Trevor said to drop them at their house; well, what if no one was home??? No thanks! I cannot take that responsibility, and I do not want it. And besides, something else was fishy; since *he* was the one who was caught driving without a liscense, there was no reason *she* couldn't have taken her kids away...nope! Something's wrong here, and I want *no* part of it!) Anyway, I digress...in the past, I would have fully resented missing out on my plans; and I would have been tired and cranky. Instead, I let the chips fall where they may.
I followed through with my own plans, and had a wonderful day.
It's good taking care of me.
Shalom!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 471
Whoo hoo - I want to shout for joy!!!!
Way to go!!!
I think you did the absolute 100% right thing... isn't it wonderful that the kids are now with children's services - hopefully this is the beginning of setting things right.
I hope that in the same situation I would have the same lucidity and wisdom...
I am inspired!!!
God Bless You
Way to go!!!
I think you did the absolute 100% right thing... isn't it wonderful that the kids are now with children's services - hopefully this is the beginning of setting things right.
I hope that in the same situation I would have the same lucidity and wisdom...
I am inspired!!!
God Bless You
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Oh! Deb ,
I am so sorry that you are STILL dealing with the carp!
BUT
I am so glad to see you are growing in strength , and having the courage of your convictions !
So sorry trevor is still suffering, but look after 'you" my dear friend
You are amazing !
HUGE HUGX
Leigh
I am so sorry that you are STILL dealing with the carp!
BUT
I am so glad to see you are growing in strength , and having the courage of your convictions !
So sorry trevor is still suffering, but look after 'you" my dear friend
You are amazing !
HUGE HUGX
Leigh
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Good for you Teach. Trevor and his girlfriend need to take responsibility for their own crap and you helped them do just that by saying no. Prayers that Trevor and girlfriend find a better way. Hugs, Marle
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
WAY TO GO, your program is SHINING.
I too believe something is 'rotten in Denmark.' lol
Maybe she had warrants too.
You did good, it is NOT your problem.
I am sorry, however, that Trevor still doesn't 'get it.'
More prayers and good thoughts headed your way from NM.
Love and hugs,
I too believe something is 'rotten in Denmark.' lol
Maybe she had warrants too.
You did good, it is NOT your problem.
I am sorry, however, that Trevor still doesn't 'get it.'
More prayers and good thoughts headed your way from NM.
Love and hugs,
To Life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
(((LEIGH)))
Oh, my, it's been AGES!!!
Good to see you, friend! And I hope all is well in your world too!
Trevor is making progress. You know, two steps forward and one back. But, it's still progress. I just pray he makes it before it's too late.
As for the children, I do think it's best where they are. And I didn't have to call, which is even better. I don't have to be the bad guy. (Though I know they will see me that way anyway.) She abuses her prescribed xanax, and like a good codie, puts Trevor in front of her kids' well being. I've seen more than I want. I hope she gets her stuff together too, but, untill she does, maybe the kids will have a chance at a decent life with children's services. They don't have much of one now, that's for certain.
As for me, well, I'm just living one day at a time. Some days I do better than others. But, each day, I'm learning.
L'Chaim!
(To Life!)
Oh, my, it's been AGES!!!
Good to see you, friend! And I hope all is well in your world too!
Trevor is making progress. You know, two steps forward and one back. But, it's still progress. I just pray he makes it before it's too late.
As for the children, I do think it's best where they are. And I didn't have to call, which is even better. I don't have to be the bad guy. (Though I know they will see me that way anyway.) She abuses her prescribed xanax, and like a good codie, puts Trevor in front of her kids' well being. I've seen more than I want. I hope she gets her stuff together too, but, untill she does, maybe the kids will have a chance at a decent life with children's services. They don't have much of one now, that's for certain.
As for me, well, I'm just living one day at a time. Some days I do better than others. But, each day, I'm learning.
L'Chaim!
(To Life!)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in my own world~
Posts: 1,237
Historyteach, I'm glad you took care of yourself and enjoyed your visit with your nephew. Thats what we have to do.....get our own ducks in a row. I'm with you on that one. And when somethings fishy we certainly can feel it. I hope things work out for Trevor and that he handles it himself......big hugs, Bonnie
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I am soooo glad you had a good day and a nice visit with your nephew. For too many years we have lived on the edge, ready to run and rescue or to deal with their consequences.
Your recovery is shining, Teach, you've taken back your life and now you're living it well.
My prayers go out for Trevor and his gf and child, how sad this kind of life becomes.
Big Hugs for you, for not getting dragged down this time.
Your recovery is shining, Teach, you've taken back your life and now you're living it well.
My prayers go out for Trevor and his gf and child, how sad this kind of life becomes.
Big Hugs for you, for not getting dragged down this time.
Glad you had a good time with your nephew.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Good to hear, Teach. It's good that you were able to take care of yourself and leave Trevor and the GF to clean up their side of the street. The children may be better off for awhile in the care of others... but you were able to focus on those things that were within your power to control: you and your reactions.
I'll add a woo hoo to the others!
Cats
I'll add a woo hoo to the others!
Cats
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Wow, what a great job you did at taking care of you!!!
I'm sorry Trevor is still part of this mess, but the more he has to deal with it (without your help), maybe he will get tired of it.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm sorry Trevor is still part of this mess, but the more he has to deal with it (without your help), maybe he will get tired of it.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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