please keep me in your thoughts
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: in the south
Posts: 219
please keep me in your thoughts
Friends,
I will go to pick up my son in a few days. He needs to go to an attorney's fpr a conference concerning his impending divorce. He is eight months (still in rehab)clean and we will take him back after a week-end pass which ends this Sunday afternoon. The staff at the facility say to get the divorce out of the way and over with and then they will begin the search for an appropriate halfway house. He would move in that direction when they feel he is ready to transition to the next level.
I guess all of that is good news but I am just anxious about the week-end. I always seem to "harp" on the wrong things. I know I shouldn't but they just have a way of spilling out. So please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and perhaps I can get through this difficult time. He says he feels disconnected from our family. I have only seen him twice in eight months due to the distance. He has changed but he just doesn't seem like the person I raised and I am sure he isn't because he has faced life changing experiences most of which i wish he had never had.
If you have any thoughts or encouragement I'd surely appreciate anything coming my way.
Thank you to everyone. Dixied
I will go to pick up my son in a few days. He needs to go to an attorney's fpr a conference concerning his impending divorce. He is eight months (still in rehab)clean and we will take him back after a week-end pass which ends this Sunday afternoon. The staff at the facility say to get the divorce out of the way and over with and then they will begin the search for an appropriate halfway house. He would move in that direction when they feel he is ready to transition to the next level.
I guess all of that is good news but I am just anxious about the week-end. I always seem to "harp" on the wrong things. I know I shouldn't but they just have a way of spilling out. So please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and perhaps I can get through this difficult time. He says he feels disconnected from our family. I have only seen him twice in eight months due to the distance. He has changed but he just doesn't seem like the person I raised and I am sure he isn't because he has faced life changing experiences most of which i wish he had never had.
If you have any thoughts or encouragement I'd surely appreciate anything coming my way.
Thank you to everyone. Dixied
rozied
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Dear Dixied, I will keep you all in my prayers this weekend. I am sure it is rough, having to get to know your own son over again. I don't have any experience with this but I sure wish I did. My only prayer is 1 day my AS will see the light.
Have a nice wkend, enjoy your son's sobriety, and try not to worry too much.
Love,
Diane
Have a nice wkend, enjoy your son's sobriety, and try not to worry too much.
Love,
Diane
Dixie, Rather than bringing a subject up with him, let him lead the conversation. I have found that sometimes out of frustration my daughter and I both say things that we don't mean. I try to just keep my mouth shut when it comes to her recovery and let figure things out for herself unless she asks. When she came home for weekend passes we had a really nice time because I let go of a lot of expectations and tried to realize that for that day she was clean and I was grateful. Hugs and prayers for you, my friend. This truly is a journey. Hugs, Marle
Hi Dixie, want to echo what Marle said...one thing that continues to help my journey in my recovery is to not have any expectations about my AD's recovery...
I try to appreciate the direction she is trying to take and and the progress she makes. her recovery is her business...and that has proved to be a huge relief to me and frankly , my salvation, in my recovery....
Enjoy your son this weekend and try to stay in the moment...my thoughts and prayers are with you.....
I try to appreciate the direction she is trying to take and and the progress she makes. her recovery is her business...and that has proved to be a huge relief to me and frankly , my salvation, in my recovery....
Enjoy your son this weekend and try to stay in the moment...my thoughts and prayers are with you.....
((((Dixied))))
I think Marle's suggestions are ones to try to remember. It helped me to realize that since I had admitted I was powerless; had surrendered and asked my HP to guide my kids, I could therefore just sit back and enjoy thier company without worrying about what may come next or what had not been taken care of yet. When I kept myself open to possibilities and let go of expectations, I found spending time with my kids so much more enjoyable. Hugs and prayers
I think Marle's suggestions are ones to try to remember. It helped me to realize that since I had admitted I was powerless; had surrendered and asked my HP to guide my kids, I could therefore just sit back and enjoy thier company without worrying about what may come next or what had not been taken care of yet. When I kept myself open to possibilities and let go of expectations, I found spending time with my kids so much more enjoyable. Hugs and prayers
I harp on the wrong things too, sometimes. It's like I feel that all the pain my RAH has put me through, he hasn't suffered enough yet--that I have to make him go through the same hell I was put through. I don't do it consciously, but I think that's part of it.
I'll try extra hard this week if you will.
:ghug
I'll try extra hard this week if you will.
:ghug
He's got 8 months clean and is working on his recovery, so maybe try just having a fun weekend without the "how are you REALLY doing?" kind of conversations (I was so guilty of those *sigh*) or if the pending divorce makes "fun" a bit of a stretch, maybe take a family picnic someplace nice or go see a movie or anything that you can enjoy with him that isn't just about recovery or his pending divorce.
Just my thoughts and whatever you decide, I hope you have a wonderful time with him.
Hugs
Just my thoughts and whatever you decide, I hope you have a wonderful time with him.
Hugs
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